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PAUDLG YOt’R OWW CANOE.
BY MBS. BABAH T. DOLTON.
Vovaprr upon lifu’a c,
To yourself be true,
And whatever your lot may be,
Paddle vour own canoe.
Never, though tlio wind may rave,
Falter nor look back,
But upon the darkest wave
Leave a single track.
Nobly dare the wildest storm,
Stem the hardest gale,
Crave of heart and strong of arm,
You would never fail.
When the world is cold and dark,
Keep au aim in view,
And forward the beacon mark,
Paddle your own canoo.
Every wave that bears you on
To"the silent shore,
From its stormy source has gone
To return no more.
Then let not an hours dely,
Cheat you of your due,
But, while it is called to-day,
Paddle your owu canoo. ’ .
If vour birth denied you woalth.
Lofty state and powor.
Honest fame and hardy health,
Are a bettor dower;
But if these will not suffice,
Golden gain pursue.
And to win the glittering prize,
Faddle your owu cauoo.
Would you wrest the wreath of Fame
From’ the hand of fate :
Would you writ© a deathless name
With the good and great;
Would you bless yrnir fellow men,
Heart and soul imbue
With the holy task, and then
Paddle your own canoe.
Nothing is lightly won,
Nothing won is lost—
Every good deed, nobly done,
Will repay the cost.
Leave to heaven in humble trust,
All you will to do;
But, if vou succeed, you must
' J Paddle your own canoe.
HE LOST HIS WIFE;
08,
TUB STORY OF A TIMID MAN.
‘‘Married ?” said Peter Tremor. No. I
never shall be now ! Fate is ngai ust it.
I was meant for a married man. I know
it. Nature intended me to be the posses
sor of a wife, but, unfortunately, nature
made me also the most timid man in the
universe; and I could never screw my
courage up to a sticking point ami pop
the question. One after another of the
objects of my admiration married some
one else— Borne one with pluck sufficient
to say “will you have mo?” plump and
plain, withont knowing for certain that
the answer would be “yes.”
If I could have reversed the order of
things, and so contrived that I should only
have had to give consent by silence and
blushes, I should not be a bachelor to-day.
O, dear, no I—more probably a grand
father. But you see girls are shy and
skittish, and won’t come to tho point, and
the bewildering way they bavo of neyer
letting yon know whether they like you
or not, is awful to a timid bachelor.
Ho Kitty Greene, the brunette whom I
adored at eighteen, and Jessie Brown was
roy idol at twenty, and Bose and Eva and
Helen and Josephine, and Jane Eliza
Tiffany, the daughter ol a dry goods raer
cham in Boston, and little widow Black,
with whom 1 boarded, ououml all, torn ■' k
me for braver rivals, and at forty I was a
bachelor no braver than before.
Just then my great uncle, Bobbins, took
a final leave of this sublunary sphere, and
bequeathed me a legacy—something rath
er handsome —enough, in fact, to make
me quite a catch for any girl.
I tat it be known, and waited, but no
oStirs of marriage came. One or two la
dies seemed more than usually amiable—
smiles greeted my approach, and I was in
vited ont to tea to such a degree that I
ruined my digestion with pound-cake and
mnffins, preserves and strong cup* of that
herb which cheers but not inebriatoß, still
nobody said “will yon be mine ?” and re
ally I found it impossible to say it myself
to anybody.
But, at last, one Christmas eve, at the
Stokers, there dawned upon my vision a
young lsdy by the name of Bobkins—a
glorious creature, all carls, and lace, and
large eyes and red checks, and fine bust
and beauty generally.
This most lovely creatnre I felt was in
tended by my lucky stars for Mrs. Trem
or, and I vowed to win her, were it pos
sible. It was a bold venture. Firstly,
her own loveliness awed me; then she had
a stout papa in a brown wig, and a portly
mamma with roses in h£r cap, who stared
me ont of countenance, and a big brother,
full of fire and fury, who was known to
t carry revolvers at his waist, and an ador
er—my rival—who had a black moustache
and an uncomfortable habit of declaring
that be would make minco-meat out of any
one who stood in his way. Nevertheless,
I braved them all and courted Amanda
Bobbins.
I had heard her mamma say to our hos
tess: “How much a year is it ?” and pre
sumed the question about my fortune.
That in itself was enconraging, also, the
fact when I called Amanda received me,
and mamma was generally engaged in the
kitchen. The rival scowled and strutted
and made fearful allusions to mince-meat.
Bnt I defied him. Never in all my life had
I been so brave.
One day I invited Amanda to take some
ice-cream in a shady and romontic spot,
and there, as I fondly fancied, decided
my fate. I began after tho third saucer
had disappeared.
“Miss Bobkins, I—ahem V—
“Well, Mr. Tremor?”
“Perhaps yon hnveA ll6Bßo^ —”
“O, Mr. Tremor-' 4
“May I vent*"® —”
“Spare ng Washes. Mr. Tremor.”
,-‘To hof fe “”
“Q Jon know—you must know ! I have
b-g ah !”
“Angel r.
A sound like the uncorking of soda
water.
“Somebody will see you, Mr. Tremor.”
So it was settled. We are engaged.
Amanda Bobkins was mine. The day was
set at last. I was to be a married man. I
let all the world know it. I defied my ri
,va! of the black monstche, who circulated
y
a base report that Amanda was about to
?
(Sctltaljcfs Infiepenbent.
VOL. 111.
marry for gold, and lie was as happy ns a
king.
Bo the days rolled on to my wedding
day. On the twontioth of August wo were
to be united, at the ehurch, by the Rev.
Silas Gouplefork. The world was too
small for mo ; I walked on thorns. Wo
were to be married on Sunday. On Sat
urday I wont out to walk—Saturday even
ing about flvo o’clock—my evil genius
prompted mo. It was a damp cloud}’
evening; a gentleman of forty was much
more likely to escape a cold by staying at
home and retiring early. Nevertheless, I
walked through the village, out of it, down
to the river side, and along it. At last I
stood beside a low brick wall, and beyond
it was an orchard of ripo apples. It was
years since I had robbed an tipplo tree. I
was ripe for sport that night.
“Lot me, said I, livo my youth over
again—for one brief hour,’’ and mounted
the wall, I leaped over it, and began to
climb the most tempting of the trees which
presented itself.
I had ascended half way, when, horror
or horrors! a fciuiful growl burst upon my
ears, and glancing downwards, I perceived
the most ferocious of all watch dogs mak
ing its way towards me, his eyes rolling—
a dog ready to tear me in pieces if he
could get at mo.
I put as many branches between us ax
possible, and sat upon tho branch looking j
down. The giant who sang: “Foe fy fo I
fum ! I smell tho blood of an Englishman 1
Bead or alive, I must havo some I” etc.,
etc., surely never manifested his desire*
more plainly by words than did that dog j
by hiß tongue and eyes. Onoo within his i
jaws, nothing remained to Amanda Bob
kins of her faithful Tremor but his but
tons. There sat tho dog watching mo—
there perched I precariously among slen- j
der branches.
The sun went down, twilight began to j
gather over the scene, and my heart went j
down with the sun. Would no one oomo ? j
I yelled for help. There was no answer j
but the dog’s bark. Twilight faded ; the J
evening came on. The moon rose. By j
its light I saw my enemy betake himself j
to a pan of meat hard by. Taking advan- j
tage of this, I prepared to descend, bnt
my guardian was aroused at onco, and I
retreated. I called for aid once more.
Not an answer.
So hour after hour passed od, and night
— midnight, 1 counted tho hours by the
church clock which struck regularly, but j
no one came to help me, T listened in the i
hope, that my jailor would sleep, hut ho ;
growled continually. I was hungry, but I
hunger I could in no measure appease,
with apples. Frightfully sleepy, yet;
dared not close my eyes lest I should top- i
pie down into the laws of the watch-dog.
Here was a situation I Moreover, there j
came on towards dawn a dreary, drizzling, i
rain, which soaked mo to the skin.
Never did human beings so rejoice ftt,
the approach of daylight as did I. Of
course, with the sun the proprietor of tho
orchard would awake, call off his dog, and
let me free. So I fondly believed. Alas !
tho shatters of tho farm house remained
closed ; no smoke arose from the chim
ney ;it appeared deserted. Moreover, a
glance at the quantity of food placed in
the dog’s dish near the tree made mo fear
that the inhabitants were absent. The
fear was made a certainty in a very short
time.
.last as the bells were ringing'good chil
dren to Sunday School, a man looked over
the wall from the road. I hailed him glee
fully.
“Friend I”
“Lor 1” ejaculated tho rustic. “Swan
tu man, ef yon ain't up thar in tho tree I
Comes o’ stealing I"
I could not deny that, but pleaded hum- j
bly:
My friend, I have been hero all night— j
will you do me the favor of calling this j
dog’s master to call him off. I will pay 1
him well for any amount of damage I hnvo
done to his tree?
“Couldn’t do it,” said the man.
I implore you.
“Taint possible. You sea old man
Brown that owns him, alien? goes to his
darter’s on Saturday afternoons, and stays :
until Sunday night. lb's darter lives at j
Waterbridge, and that’s five miles from
Ferry, and Berry’s three miles from this
here. Hev to sty till ho comes hum, I
reckon. ”
Until to-night ?
“Wall, I reckon. Nobody can’t touch
that dorg—he’d chew ’em up.”
But I have a particular appointment at
tc this morning.
“That’s a baa job. Only at your age
you’d ortn thunk of that. Didn’t yon sec
‘Beware of the dorg !’ ”
No.
“Here it is black and white ontsido."
Will you toll me tho time, sir ?
“Half-past eight, time for me to git. ef
I’m going to meeting.”
But what shall I do ?
“Well, ef you don’t mind riskin’ tho
dorg. But I would advise ye to--”
Gracious goodness! I gasped, I’m to be
married at ton this moruing. I must he
at I’ettiborne land by that time. I’ll pay
any sum to a messenger to go to Mr.
Wliat’s-his-name for me, and bring him—
any sum.
“Twouldn’t be no use,” said my com
panion ; “yon see, ’twould take ’era till
twelve to get there, and the old man
Brown wouldn’t come. He’s sot in ways, j
Friends generally is. Good by. ”
Away he went, but others came. Boys, j
QUITMAN, GrA., FRIDAY, AUGUST 18, 1875.
girls, woman and mou. AU told tho same
talc of tho dog’s ferocity. All spoke feel
ingly of my want of honesty, and recom
mended mo not to trust myself within tho
reach of the savage beast, who growled
and barked continually. A maiden lady
came, aud left somo tracks on tho wtdi en
titled “The Sabbath Breaker’s End."
Tho miuiutcr stopped and talked to mo of
depravity and suddeu judgement, with au
admiring audience of elderly females, who
chorused, “to bo snro” and "now dn hoar
him and worst of all, my wedding hour
passed. I felt, as it departed, that it uevor
would return again.
Another hour pasßed on ; an hour of
spooohleas misery. The dog relaxing his
vigilance was attracted by a cat, to a re
mote corner of the orchard. Now
12:10
was my time, I scrambled to the ground,
tearing my garments in many places, aud
began a wild race for liberty. A savage
growl warned me that my pursuer was on
my track ; I strained every nerve, reached
tho wall, and throw myself upon it, his
jaws closed with a savago snap, within an
inch of my hoebj.
I rolled off oii tlio outer side panting
and breathless. Recovering I hurried to
tho church.
It was deserted by nil snvo tho soxton.
In answer to my inquiry he informed me
that the wedding lmd taken place an hour
before, and the bridal party had departed.
Wildly I demanded to seo tlio register.
Tho writing was scarcely dry which re
corded the names of Amanda Bobbins and
Marmaduko Topps, my hated rival with
tho fierce moustaeho. In the midst of
their indignation, at my supposed heart
less desertion, ho had stepped forward
and offered to fill my place.
Ho was accepted. I was crushed. I
sought my lodging and wrote a note of ex
planation to my lost Amanda. It was re
turned to mu unopened, enclosed in a note
from the big brother, intimating that any
further attempts of mine to oommunicato
with Mrs. Topps, either by letter or other
wise, would result in my receiving a se
vere castigation.
1 have never seen hor sineo. I shall
never bo monied now ; fate is against mo.
—
Extraordinary Markmanship.
[From the Richmond Whig.]
An elderly man named Beckwith, resid
ing in one of tlio peninsula counties, canio
to this city last Thun,day on business, lie
brought with him an old-fashioned flint
rock rifle to have n stock and lock put on.
On tb nears he fell into a conversation with
a party of three gentlemen from this city,
when one of them to tost the reality of
sonic of the extraordinary fonts of the
markmanship he boasted of, offered him
■t:I0 to repeat some of them, which the
other two added f‘s between them. The
t rial came off in au old field half a mile be
low Rockets, and was witnessed by about
a dozen persons.
Trie old flint-rock war. fired seven times,
and only one missed its aim. Tlio old gen
tleman, after making two shots at small
objects to one side, to get his hand steady,
as he said, handed his son a potato, ami
stationed him at fifty yards distance, hold
ing tho potato between his thumb and
forefinger, The rifle cracked and tho po
tato fell cloven in three or four pieces.
One of the largest pieces was thrown into
the air, the marksman keeping tho same
distance, and again tho shot told. An
inch and a half augur was then procured,
and a hole bored in tho fence, behind
which was fastened a pieeo of whito pa
per. At the distance of sixty yards the
marksman sont a bull clear through the ap
erture, piercing tho paper. At tho fourth
shot, from sixty yards distance, the bowl
of a pipe, which tho son was smoking, was
crushed. At tho fifth shot a popper cent
was thrown into the air and hit. Tho
sixth and seventh shots were delivered at N
blackened flve-cent nick to piece thrown
up by tho son, standing about thirty yards.
At the first attempt the shot missed.
The old gentleman showed Considerable
mortification, and laid the blame upon a
bystander, who at the critical moment,
sneered loudly. The next attempt, how
ever, was an entire succ'-ss. The old man
declined any further trials of his skill, and
when offered a sum of money to repeat
his first feat of shooting a potato from his
son’s hand, he refused, saying he didn’t
care to try such experiments unless his
weapon was freshly cleaned. The exhibit
tion was the most remarkable from the fact
that the marksman was an old man, at
least fifty. His eye however is a.clear,
bright gray. His appearance is that of a
poor farmer. The young man showed not
the least tremor or anxiety during the dan
gerous experiment upon fiimself. The old
old man, referring to his son, said—“ Bob
can shoot as well as lean.”
The Highest Bridge in the Wora.n.
Tho highest bridge in the world will bo
built at the crossingof the Kentucky river,
on the Cincinnati Southern Bailway, near
tho Shaker ferry. The Baltimore Bridgo
Company, ono of the most noted in tho
United States, has secured tho contract.
The bridge will consist of an iron deck
truss of three spans of 375 feet each, cen
tre to centre, supported by two piers and
two abutments. Tho piers will he built of
masonry to a height of 74 feet and 6 inches
above low-water mark, and the additional
distance below low-water mark will soon be
determined by borings under control of
tho resident engineer. These piers will
bo 120 feet long end to end of cut water,
and 85 wido on the top, built hollow, with
the walls 21 feet from the end, Upon the
masonry will rest the iron trestle work.
The grade lino is 275 feet 6 inches above
low water. Tho abutments will be built
upon the cliffs on each side of tho river,
and are to bo 48 feet high,,depending
upon t)ieshspe of tho ledge# of rock.
When this structure is completed Kentuck
ians can well with pride to tho highest
bridgo upon this continent.— DanviUe,
(Ky.) Advocate.
Inflation sentiment seems to be spread
ing among the Democracy of Indiana.
The Indianapolis Sentinel has boon turned
around, and is henceforth to be an
inflation journal. As it is tho leading
Democratic organ of the State, tho change
is significant.
THE MILLEDGEVTLLE SCARE.
\Vn. It nn KCArtlki,inks 1. -A Selrntllir
View of the Phenomenon,
W. G. McAdoo, of Milledgovillo, in a
letter to the Macon Telegraph, dated July
29th, says, in reference to the supposed
earthquake:
"After tho storm of rain and wind which
occurred about the middle of the afternoon
of yesterday, (not before as your account
snys), about six o'clock, p. m., tho phe
nomenon ooouned. This consisted of a
rumbling, or as most persons dcseribo it, a
hissing sound, then a tremendous explo
sion accompanied, or rather followed im
mediately by such a concussion as led
many persons to suppose it at. once to bo
an earthquake. Tho account, in your pa
per that “tho people were terribly fright
ened and all ran out of their houses’’ in a
great mistake. The daugor, if any had
existed, was past before the people had
time to run out of their houses. The
whole thing, the sounds and tho eoiieus
rion, did not occupy more than a second
of accurately measured time. Wo hear
this morning that the phonamonon was ob
served ns much ns four or livo miles to the
east, the south and tho w est of our city ;
and we also find that different observers
in the country and city received widely
varying impressions in reference to the
ilirniion whence the sounds came, the ma
jority locating them in tho south or south
west. The general impression created ill
tho country and iu the city was that tho
phenomenon was an earthquake.
“Wo are inclined to think this impres
sion erroneous. Tho facts us observed
support much more strongly tho theory
that the fall of a bolide or meteoric body
to tho earth, gave rise to their phenomena.
If our conjecture is right, we hope tlio do
seent to tho immediate surface of the
ground may bavooccurred within the ob
servation of of someone, and that the me
teorite may be recovered for scientific ex
amination. It would be immensely valua
ble to scientists, and the lucky finder or
owner of it would bo snro to receive a
largo compensation for supplying it to the
scientific museum of somo scientist or
some public institution.
“Hueh meteorites have fallen and im
bedded themselves a short distance in tho
earth repeatedly iu recent-times, and have
been recovered by scientific cabinets, where
they are now preserved. Over two hun
dred and fifty bodies of this sort have boon
collected, the most colossal of which was
obtained in Mexico by the French savant
who accompanied the French army of in
vasion of Mexico, in 1830. It weighs 15}
cvvt. Another, in the Paris Museum, j
which fell at Cailln, in tho Maritime Alps, j
weighs 12j cwt. Well authenticated in- j
stances of the fall of these bodies in very
many and widely distant countries of the
world are in existence, and as many as
fourteen deaths have resulted from them,
besides several conflagrations.
“These bodies are now regarded ns extra
terrestial in their origin ; as bodies partak
ing somewhat of Lie character of the plan
ets in their substance, and as being
brought occasionally from the space in
which they revolve to tho earth's surface
by our orb's powerful gravitation. They
travel with immense rapidity, are soon
heated by tho friction between them and
tho earth’s atmosphere, and usually ex
plode one or more times on approaching
very nearly the earth’s surface.
“It is to be hoped that other correspon
dents of your journal will eommuniehte to
tho public through your Columns their ob
servations of tho phenomena of yesterday
afternoon that their true character may be
determined—whether they resulted from
an earthquake, the fall of a meteorite, or
from something else.”
Taking a Vote on Beecher.
[From the Detroit Free Press]
Asa train on the Lake Shore road was
coining into Detroit the otlior day a long
geared man, who had been sleeping for
two or throe hours, suddenly awoke, rose
up, and after a yawn and a stretch ho took
his plug hat in his hand, held it ont to
ono of tho passengers, antWemarked:
‘ ‘Let’s vote on Beecher. w
“Oli, go to thunder,” growled tho man.
Tho tall man tore five or six leaves from
his memorandum book, wroto “innocent”
on some anil “guilty” on the others, and
started down tho aisle.
“Madam,” ho said, as ho approached
tho nonrestjady, “I’d like to havo you
vote ono of theso tickets. Vote just ns
your conscience dictates, madam.”
She refused to vote, and lie dropped a
ballot marked “innocent” into the hat,
and passed to a man who, overcome by
the lieat, had fallen asleep.
“Here I you-what do you think of
Becclior V” he asked, shaking the sleeper.
“Durn you, sir—duru you I” roared the*
mau as he sat up.
“Which way do you vote ?”
“G ’way from me, or I’ll masli tho top
of your head down on to your collar
bouo !” yelled the aroused sleeper, lifting
his big red fist.
The ballot-box man passed to a boy
about ten years eld, mid inquired:
“Bub, what do you think about Beech
er ?”
“I dunno," replied tho hoy : “father
said he’d lick mo if I said anything about
it.”
A ballot of “guilty” was dropped into
the hat, and the man passed down to a
dreary-looking old chap, who was rolling
a bit of plug tobacco under bis tongue.
“Well, old friend, what do you think
of Beecher ?” was the inquiry.
The dreamy chap got up, tossed bis
quid out of the window, and calmly took
tho canvasser by the throat and jammed
him over a soat and hit him twice on the
chin. It was all over before anybody
could interfere, and, as be resumed bis
seat, ho looked back at tho canvasser, who,
half stunned, was gazing around iu the
greatest ustonisbment, and remarked:
“I promised my dying wife I’d [lick the j
next mau who said Beeelior to me, and !
now you keep.jiway.”
The canvasser pushed the dents ont of j
his plug hat, borrowed a pin to meild bis i
coat collar, tied a wethandkerehiof around
his throat, and sat down and fell into such
a train of reflection that tlio peanut boy
had to speak to him four times over be
fore ho was aroused.
Tho Freemasons of lowa are very much
exercised over a recent decision of tho
Grand Master that dancing in tho lodge
room is inconsistent with the good of the
craft. Two snl)onliuato*DtUcers have been
| deprived of their positions lor acting iu
! violation of the dtca-ion.
DONALDSON REPORTED ALIVE.
Tho Afironimt Soon in Altforftuo, Allclilgnn
Ills IHifh i>]tononnoo mg ill to Im> nn Adver
tising Uwl^o.
Since Washington H. Donaldson the
lormiaut, and liis companion, Orimwood,
mndo tlioir ascension from Chicago iu a
balloon on July 15th, from which time they
have not boon seen, thorn bavo boon many
various rumors and conjectures regarding
their probable fate. While many believe
that Donaldson and hia companion are lost,
there are many persons who believe that
I it is all au ingeuius advertising dodge, and
I that Mr. Donaldson and liis companion
will make tlieir appearance again. There
have been various rumors since liis disap
pearance. One was that tho balloon was
semi passing over Lake Michigan drag
ging through tho water. Another that tlio
balloon had boon Been passing over the
i land in n northerly direction. Then his
j body was said to have been found, but.it
turned out to be the body of a Gorman
sailor who had boon washed from some
steamer. Another report states that abut*
tie was found flouting iu Lake Michigan,
containing a memorandum signed “\V. S.
G." (Donaldson’scompanion), dated July
10, stating that the gas was escaping, and
that they could not stay up more than an
hour longer.
The latest sensation oomes from Algonac,
Michigan, a town on the St. Clair river, in
the shape of a letter from J. H. Stan wood
to a well-known professional in this city,
who emphatically declares that he saw
Donaldson in company with a young man j
in that village last Friday. Ho was post
tivo ns to Donaldson's 'identity, having
frequently seen him at Ilnrnuin s Hippo
dromo in Now York lust, winter. Ho snys :
“Donaldson had no moustache, but the
sear on his cheek rendered recognition an
easy matter.
Tlio mysterious disappearance and pro
longed absence of Donaldson, in view of
the letter received yesterday, is considered
by many a revival of Donaldson’s alledged
advertising trick, introduced,by him re
cently in Philadelphia, where, after mak
ing an ascent from that city, a false dis
patch was published announcing that Don
aldson’s dead body had boon found in tlio
basket of his balloon near a small village
iu New Jersey. This dispatch was signed
“Dr. Fuller. ” Afterward au investigation
developed the fact that the dispatch emi
natod from Donaldson himself.
A paper printed in Allentown, Pennsyl
vania, tells tho following : “Two years ago
Washington 11. Donaldson resided in this
city for several months, and made several
ascensions from Central square. While
bore bo told Mr. Kramer, at whose hotel
he boarded, that a notion had entered his
head which would realize him a pile of
money if carried out. It was this : Ho
would make an ascension, if a favorable
opportunity offered, accompanied by a
ready writer, who was to take notes while
in the air of the experience they met with
ns it appeared to him (Donaldson). E’er
this purposo they would ascend to nn un
usual altitude, and remain np as long as
possible. After having gained tho desired
knowledge of serial travel, they would de
scend at a place where they were not likely
to bo soon, and repair to somo quiet and
undisturbed nook, and then tho ready
writer was to enlarge on his notes, which
would bo printed in hook form and distrib
uted to tho world.
GHOSTS.
The Currency Myntery Solved —\ delferwiii
County liurki j' Lvlm Out the Secret,
All nowapaper readers in this State can
not fail to remember the startling” and un
accountable manifestations which occnrnd
at Surrency, on the Macon and Brunswick
railroad, a year or two since, and was at
tributed to tho agency of spirits. Tho
house of Mr. Surrency was turned into a
perfect pandemonium for tho timo being.
Crockory from unseen Bourceß would fall
into tho middle of rooms, brick-bats would
crash flown, and billets of wood bo hurled
in at windows, seemingly without any hu
man agency. The wonderful occurrences,
however, finally slopped, and after a while
lived only iu tho remembrance of t.liose
who had witnessed and hoard of them.
Sometime since similar manifestations
bfgan in tlio family of a very estimable
lady, Mrs. Itussol Johnson, of Bartow, on
the line of the Central railroad. Tho
crockory, brick-bats, and other portable
and small articles rained about tho house
In tho most astonishing manner, causing
no little terror to tho inmates. Ilowevor,
Mr. John A. McMillan, a son-in-law of
Mrs. Johnsorr, not being frightened entire
ly out of liis wits, noted the similarity of
the manifestations to those at Surrency,
and finally remembered that they had em
ployed in tho family as a servant at tho
time, a colored girl who had also been in
tho employ of Mr. Surrency at tlio timo
those strange freaks of the unseen agency
took place in his house. Thinking that
the two must certainly havo some connec
tion with each other, a strict watch was
kept upon this girl, and she was finally
detected in the act of taking a brick from
a concealed position abont her person and
hurling it into the middle of the room.
Here, then, was tlio secret. Hlio was
immediately apprehended, and, under fear j
of being dealt with by law, confessed that
she was the author of all the mischief.
Sbo was, of course, discharged. What lias
been her motive for all these actions is,
perhaps, looked in an impenetrable mys
tery, but it will boa relief to many to
know tlio truth of these singular things
which so puzzled tho brains of the good
people of Surrency a year or two since.—
Warrenlon Clipper.
*■
A caso of mistaken identity took place
as the cars left the Newark depot. A pretty
girl, with her handkerchief up to her eyes,
had seen her lover neat himself in tlio last
seat of a car, but while she was bathed in
tears, she did not see that tho train had
backed, and a different car stood in front
of her ; but presently she looked up and
with a sweet smile said “good-bye darling”
to an astonished and bashful young man
who was sitting there, in the [dace where
tho other fellow should have been.
<♦■
The penally of the law against profane
swearing—s 2 fine—was enforced in Ivieh
moml twice on Haturday, and tho Whig
thinks that if every policeman and consta
ble in the State would use ordinary vigi
lance, in the course of a year or two a
sufficient sum could thus he realized to pay
off the State debt.
Timely Topics.
There is no news from the Keoly motor.
A priest has been captured and carried
off by eight brigands in Sicily.
England maintains all army of 200,000
men in ludia, of whom 128,447 arc natives
and 00,613 British, exclusive of olffoors.
At a trial match of sausage-making ma
chines in Cincinnati ouo of them looped
of! the hand of its exhibitor. It took tho
palm.
A woman 60 years old wns recently con
victed of murder In the Middle Circuit in
| England for killing hor husband, aged 90.
A Mr. Lockwood lms patented in Eu
rope a process of condensing boor, by
means of which it may bo transported to
hot climates.
Tho officers of tho Patent Office believe
Koely’s motor to be a humbug. No ap
plication for a patent has boon made, nor
a caveat issued.
Tlio gentle citizens of Do Soto, Mo.,
have passed resolutions declaring that they
will hereafter hang every horse thief they
can lay their hands on.
A doctor’s wife tried to move him by
tears. “Ah,” said he, “tears aro useless ;
I have analyzed thorn. They contain a lit
tle phosphate of lime, some ohlorido of so
dium, and water.
fifeoaml £]. Ki. lOmilfli ia UOIV 1.11:111
oellor of the Stale University of Tennes
see, but thinks of leaving to become Pro
fessor of Natural History in tlio university
of tho South at Sownnee.
A young man in Lancaster, Pa., sent a
dollar to a firm in New York who adver
tised a receipt to prevent bad dreams. He
received a small slip of paper on which
ivas printed, “Don’t go to sleep.”
As convincing proofs that the grasshop
pers road tho papers, it is said that they
have this season entirely avoided a certain
country which was mentioned last year as
raising tho poorest quality of wheat in
Kansas.
In tho recent competition for the paint
ing of tho curtain of the Dresden theatre,
tlio successful candidate was Prof. Fordi
nand Keller, of Garlsruhe, whose early life
was passed amid tho magnificent scenery
of the river Amazon, where lie gained an
intimate knowledge of tropical nature now
richly displayed in liis paintings.
New London is tho first to make a be
ginning for the suppression of tho tramp
business. Mayor Waller of that city hav
ing issued a proclamation calling public
attention to the now law, a tramp was ar
rested Thursday night, and on his person
were found a long dirk, a hoavily loaded
"hilly,” and two razors. A pleasant cus
tomer to havo prowling about.
Some interesting facts have been given
relating to the Foabody fund for the poor
in London, which shows tho advancement
of that institution. Some $2,000,000 has
been spent, and nearly #3,000,000 is still
left in tho treasury. A large number of
tho tonemont bouses havo been erected in
tho different towns which will aooomodute
about 1,400 poor families.
The Connecticut Legislature voted S2OO
to the Hartford Post as compensation for
a series of biographical sketches of the
Senators and Representatives, published
by that journal on tho first day of tho ses
sion. On the ground that the Legislature
had no morni or legal right to nso the
money for such purpose, tho Post an
nounces that it will not accept the grant.
An uncommon mortuary ooremony was
that held at tho grave of Marietta Ball, at
St. Albans, Vt., on tlio first anniversary of
lior murder. A sermon was preached,
hymns wore sung, and tho cemetery was
hung with black. Two hundred persons
were present. Miss Ball was killed by a
brutal assailant, who has not boon discov
ered, although a society formed for tho
purpose has labored hard to detect him.
At the Liverpool Court of rassago lately
aservent claimed damages for libel against
a former mistress for stating, in answer to
an inquiry abont the servant’s character,
that “she was neither strictly honest nor
strictly sober.” It was urged iu defence
that this was a privileged communication,
Iho portion in it compluined of being a spe
cific answer to a specific question with
reference to tho charater of a domestic
servant. The court so hold, and non-suited
the plaintiff.
Recently the foreign embassy sought
the assistance of the English police to find
a young girl who had just become the
heiress of many millions. The instructions
wore vaguo, and tho task was nocosßurily
given to ono of the keenest detectives. At
tho cml of six weeks tho detective report
ed at headquarters and handed in his res
ignation. “Well,” said tho chief, “mid
wliat about tho young girt?” “I found
bov about a month ago in a dressmaker’s
shop,” was tho answer. “And what then ?”
“I married her yesterday, and this morn
ing I have just received her six millions.
A haudsorno Arabic bible, bound in rod
velvet aud gold, was presented to tho Sul
tan of Zanzibar, while iu London, by tho
Earl of Shaftesbury, who besought him to
circulate the Christian Scriptures through
out his dominions. The Sultan said that
ho know perfectly well what the Scriptures
were, mid that ho reoognizod the hook tho
moment ho opened it, having had one pre
viously in Zanzibar. Ho added, “Tho
words of Jesus—upon whom lie peace—
[ are always acceptable to us. Tlio Koran
! mentions the Bible and the New Testa
| merit, and we only wish that all people
i would walk according thereto.”
Humorous.
A smart thing—a mustard plaster.
How to become puffed up—swallow a
pint ot yeast,
Academy of Design—a young lady’s
boarding sohoo!.
With most men life is back-gammon,
half skill and half luck.
If you will take away tho “i" from noise,
you will have a noso left.
Most people aro like egga—too full of
themselves to hold anything else.
Epitaph.—-" Here lies W. W. who never
more will trouble yon, trouble you.
What portions of the body aro the beet
(revolvers tho two wrists. Stale Centra
Enterprise, lowct.
Sprinkling carts make white pantaloons
shrink towards tho inner side of the walk.
—Danbury 2V ews.
Why does a duck go under water f For
diver's reasons. Whydoea she goon land ?
For sun-dry reasons.
“I wonder what makes my eyes so weak,"
said a fop to a gentleman. "They ate (n
a weak plane, ’’ responded tho latter.
When a man has a business tTiat don’t
pay, ho usually begins to look around
for a partner to share his losses with him.
Why ia a church bell moro affable than
a church organ ? Because ouo will go
when it is tolled, but tho othor will be
“Mowed” first.— Cobletkill Index.
“Wliat did you hang that cat for,
Mane ?” asked tho schoolmarm. The
boy looked up, and, with a grave look,
answered: “For mewtiny, marm 1"
It is singular that mineral waters aro
only beneficial to tho wealthy. We never
knew a physician to adviso a poor man to
go to any watering place.
NO. 15.
A lazy fellow falling a distance of fifty
feet, and escaping with only a few scratch
es, a bystander remarked that he was
“too lazy to fall fast enough to hurt him
self.”
Would you like to raise tho ire of an
editor? Just send him a long communi
cation written on both sides of the paper,
in a bad hand. It is sure to do it. Try
it sceptic.
“An aero and a half of potatoes and six
teenbushels of buas.” i° *ho a runner
In Highland county put it down on tho
assessor’s blank.— Hose Cos. (O.) Register.
Somebody has calculated that three
million words were used by the parties fn
the Beecher-Tilton trial. And yet they
produced no aentenoe. — Cincinnati En
quirer.
“Our insido contains to-day,” says a
country editor. “Dyspepsia,’ ‘Cooked
Whiskey,’ •A Chinosoßestaurant,' and va
rious othor interesting articles.’’— Oswego
Times. v .
A westi ru editor insists that he wrote
the word "trousseau" as plain no pikestaff
in connection with certain bridal presents.
The priutcr, however, vulgarly put it
“trousers."
A subscriber writes to an editor in tho
West: “I don’t want your paper any
longer.” To which tho editor replies, “I
would not make it any longer oven if yon
did ; its present length suits me.”
Housemaid (just engaged)—“l should
like to ho shown my room, ma’am." Lady
of the house (startled) —“Oh, if yon like ;
you'll find it a comfortable.”—Housemaid
—“I should like to know if i’ts large
enough for my piano.,”
A Maine girl left her clothing in nn
open boat aud hid horself, aud when her
parents were crying and saying if tlioy
only hod her back they would obey her
slightest wish, she appeared and said she
wanted to marry George.
The editor of tho Taunton Gazette has
been eating’em, for he says: “Thecomely
cucumber cometh, conveying countless
cases of cholera nnd colic, causing cheer
ful comments on the part of the compoun
der of ourious but comforting coidials.
Give a boy a market-basket of gro
ceries to carry homo aud he will swing
it across his spine, bend holf way to tho
ground nnd groan with agony, but give
him that weight of baseball bats and be
will skip along as merry as a potato-bug in
a ten-acre lot.
When wo rend in an exohnugo that an
editor has just “received from Europe the
sorrowful intelligence of tho death of the
aged mother of his brother-in-law,” the
fraternal feeling of the editorial bosom
goes ont to that man in a gush of deep
sympathy.
A certain voung gentleman of Evanston,
Ind., recently accompanied a young lady
to a train to soo her safely started on hex
journey. He earned her railroad ticket
in his pocket for safety, and found it
there, when lie reached homo, hours after
the train left.
At a spiritual oamp mooting held at Du
buque, lowa, last week, a raodiumistio re
sponse to tho question, “How long is it
going to rain ?” was: “The clouds keep
pouring out water ; nnd so long as tho
clouds keep pouring out wnterit will rain.”
Ami they know all about it.
“How aro you, count ?” said a noted
wag to a spruce looking specimen of the
genus snob. “Sir I” exclaimed the indig
nant swell, “who are you and why do you
call me count ?” “Why, I saw you count
ing oysters, last week, and I supposed you
were of royal blood.” Bnob vamosed.
A good double pun bus been made by
a clergyman. He had just united in mar
riage a couple whoso ebristiun names
were respectively Benjamin anil Ann.
“How (lid tlioy appear during the cere
mony ?” inquired a friend. “They ap
peared both Annie-muted and Bonnio-flt
ted,” was tho reply,
It is said that the treasurer of a base
ball blub Ims absoouded with a largo sum
of money. If that be so, it must bo con
sidered a basonotion, which will doubtless
cause a bowl among tho members. Per
haps the absconder will attempt to make
a homo run. If his victims ondeuvor to
catch him on the fly, will it bo considered
foul.
An elderly gentleman, returning homo
from church began to extol tho merits of
tho sermon to his son. Said he: “Jack,
1 have heard ono of tho most delightful
sermons over delivered before a Christian
society, it carried mo to tho gato of
heaven.” “Why didn’t you dodge in?”
replied Jack ; “you will never havo
another such a chance.”
A lumberman, being but poorly pro
vided with materials of sustenance for his
men, fed thorn with pork cocked with the
rind upon it. A young man of tho com
pany, not liking that outer portion of the
food, was observed by the host to bo care
fully removing tho outside covering.
Whereupon uiino host snid: “Young man,
wo cat nnd and all hero. ” To which tho
youth replied, “All right, old maD, I’m
cutting it off for you.”
Tho following were a few of the maxima
of that king of printers, Benjamin Frank
lin: Trade is the mother of money; bo
beforehand with your business; spend
and bo free, but mono no waste ; prayer
nnd provender hinder no journey ; credit
is like a looking-glass, easily broken ; he
who looks not before, finds himself behind ;
keep thy office and they office will keep
thee ; they can never thrive who spend
their time in beer-houses, and in gaming
houses ; God helps them who help them
self?*.