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Hi!oral History Mudlw*—Tue Baby.
“ Wbat animal is this?”
“ This is a baby. He is now about
three years old, and at the wickedest
point of Lia earthly career.”
** What countries does the baby most
inhabit f”
“ He can be found in every inhabited
country ou the globe, the same as mos¬
quitoes and boils.”
" Can they be tamed ?"
“ Yea. quite easily. After a little
judicious discipline subservient they cea*»o to strug¬
gle, am? become to the will
of mac.”
" I)t*ef the baby eat grass?” They
" Yes, or anything else. swal¬
low pocket kniver, thimbles, buttons,
sp.*o)s or any other object a little smaller
than a teacup. If offered milk they
seldom refuse it.”
“ Do they grace during the day, or
only They at nights?” always
" are gracing, paying not
the least heod to the hour. When not
actually eating poenfiar they generally give
utterance to a cry. Btrong
men often jump out of bed at midnight
in the coldest weather when hearing
til is cry."
“ t" Wbat meaning is attached to this
cry
“ Men of deepest thought have agreed
that it signifies to wake up the neighbor¬
hood nud have some fun.”
“ Of wbat benefit to mankind is a
domesticated baby ?”
the “ first* They are of no earthly aooount for
few years, but by-and-by they
onuddide down hill on a cellar door and
carry articles out of tho house and trade
them for a wooden sword or lose them
in the grass.”
“ Do you know of any instances whore
the baby has attacked the household
and killed or injured uny ouof”
“Bnoh instances have been related by
such eminent naturalists as George
Francis Train and Texas Jack, but we
don't put much faith in them. How
ever, persistently if the baby wus maliciously and
provoked, dr.” there is no know¬
ing what it might
“Are <hey a healthy animal ?"
“ No. Ou the contrary, bo druggiat
oouJti make enough profit in a year to
for boy the him • pair of Arctic overshoe* but
presence of the baby in every
bousek old. There ia hardly an hour in
the peppermint, day the baby i doe* milk, not demand
cordial, pM i fw r e, sugar,
cod-liver emulsion, ipecac, or
something else costing money.”
“ What machinery is made use of to
compel r the baby to take a dose of castor
oil
* There are several patent machines
for tne purpose, but most peoplo follow
the old rule of kuocking him senseless
and getliug the dose into his mouth bo
fore he recovers.”
“1st e bald-headed baby more do¬
mestic than others?”
“Not a bit. He kicEB around after
the same fashion, and has even a wotse
time fighting flies aud mosquitoes.”
“Whatmusij do they seem to pro
fer? . a *»
“A bass drum is their first choice,
but they have » heavy tendency toward
the sound of the stove-handle knocking
the nose oft the pitcher with the empt
ings in it. This is nit about the baby.”
-~Dv1roit Free Frets.
Saved by Cats.
In the year 1783, a merchant who re¬
sided at Messina had two favorite cats,
and their manner previous to an earth¬
quake saved his life. Before tho shock
occurred, these animals were endeavor¬
ing to work their way through the floor ;
their master observing their fruitless
labors, opened third the door for them. At a
second and floor they repeated
their efforts, and on being completely
set at liberty, they rau straight along
the street and oat of the gate of the
town. The merehauf, whose curiosity
was excited by this strange conduct,
followed the animals out of the town
into the fields, aud there saw them hur¬
riedly scratching and burrowing in the
earth. Soon after there was a violent
shock of an earthquake, and many of
the houses in the city fell down, of
which the merchant's was one, so that
he was indebted for bis life to the sin¬
gular forebodings of those domestic
animals.
The Catholic Rzvicto gives the Ro¬
man Otbohp p-jpulntiou in the United
Sutes is 1878 as 6.406.000, apniu&t 3,
001.000 in 1830 Churches in 1850 were
1 073: 187S ibcre iw 5.24S. Pri«wts
Danish Shrewdness.
A. A. Hayes tells in J/arper'a for De¬
cember how a company of Danes secured
the right to lie laud a teleeraph cable in
Bhanghae: Great Northern tele¬
graph oompail* 1 of Denmark, had se
cured the r.ghw» use the Ruasian laud
linen reaching fl*v»ugh ju\ Siberia to Wladi
vostok, a port \v northeast of Corea.
They proposed Nagasa^ to a submarine cable
thence, via to BbaDgbae, and
from Bhanghae to Hong Kong. It
seemed needful to obtain permission to
bring the wires ashore at Bhanghae, and
the commissioner went to Pekin for this
purpose. He met with a refusal, curt
and d< cisive. This outrageous request
was like a bombshell in the T&ung-li
Yamun (foreign office). The very hairs
in Prince Rung's venerable pigtail stood
on end. The impudence of these bar¬
barians was astounding. Did they not
know that the abort line, constructed
some years before from Bhanghae to the
Beacon, had so offended the mighty
Fong-Bhuey, or Spirit of the Air, that
deaths in the neighborhood had been in¬
cessant, until the villagers very properly
destroyed this obnoxious invention ?
Ltd the presumptuous commissioner re¬
tire. “ A necessary communication.
Respect this.” Bv all rights this com¬
missioner should nave considered him¬
self snubbed, crushed, and should have
sent a protest to his minister, inspired
some indignant articles in the news¬
papers, and gone home. But so regard¬
less of precedent (“olo-custom,” the
Chinamen call it) were he and his asso¬
ciates, that they held thoir peace, ordered
np their telegraph end steamer, laid their
cable, brought the into Bhanghae
and opened their office; and in about
three weeks, if I mistake not, the Chi¬
nese officials were sending messages
over the wires themselves! When this
had all come to paea/^ertain \jv.lt English¬
men and Americans very small
indeed. It was clear that the yellow¬
haired barbarians had beaten the red
haired ones (the writer has known a
native to address an envelope to an H.
B. M. reoreseutative as “Rid haired
Barbarian Consul”), and the latter sadly
reflected lived in that they had all undoubtedly
vain if. after these years of
toil Iwnble, it had needed these
countrymen of Hamlet to remind them
that since, as every school-boy China ought to
know, all things in are reversed,
they should, of course, have understood
that tho mandarins wanted them to act
first and ask permission afterward.
Eels Tor the New York Market.
The Belfast (Me.) Journal says:
Frank E. Dyer, of Belftst, now at
Bouth Deer isle in ebargo of an eel-fish¬
ing establishment, writes business. some particu¬
lars concerning the The fish
arc sent fresh to New York markets.
At Bouth Deer isle there are two large
ponds, three miles inland, which arc
connected with a creek by small run
uing etreams. In the autumn the fish
run up through these streams into the
ponds, where they pass the wiuter im¬
bedded in the mud. The run be*rins
the first of September and ends the last
of October, In order to capture them
traps are made and placed in the stream
through which the eels pass. These
traps aro wooden boxes ten feet long,
fonr feet wide and two feet deep, with
ends made of wire netting. The end in
which tho fish enter is obnstracted after
the style of a lobster pot, so that when
a fish enters it cannot easily get dam out.
To make the fish enter the tr ip a is
ouilt across the stream, the only open
icg being the mouth of the trap. Borne
will not enter, but will bore a hole
nnderueath the dam. This is the
fishermau’s greatest aunoyauce, having
more or less of these hoUs to close
every day. The fish only travel in the
night time; not one is to be seen after
daylight. we*atker, They prefer dark, stormy
and on fnch nights as high as
ten barrels are taken from the traps.
At high water the fisherman visit* his
traps in a dory and dips out the in calob,
which is taken to floating ears the
creek, where the fish are kept alive
nutil wanted. Of life an eel is very
tenacious; a part of one which had been
cut in two, containing the head, has
been known to retain life for four days,
when placed in water. After the weather
beco mes freezing cold, the catch is pre
paied for market. Tho sViu is stripped
off and the fish laid straight on a board,
where it freezes. They are then packed
in boxes and skipped, and often bring
from fifteen to twenty cents per pound,
•* Yviu are carrying this thing too
far,” said a policeman, as be arrested a
off with a man’s watch.
O FAITH-, MMMHH
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Church Offering. 2.'.'”;.
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