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klmer twitchell on the
GAS CRISIS
“I’m all set for this gasoline ra
tioning,” declared Elmer Twitchell
today. ‘‘Ain’t a bit worried. Got
myself all adjusted. Won’t notice it
at all."
“How so?” we asked.
“Preparedness,” snapped Elmer.
“Been salting it away or got a
pull with a gasoline bootlegger?”
“Neither,” explained Mr. Twitch
ell, “I’ve done nothing beyond the
reach of any other American. Any
auto owner can take the same steps
I have so that the gas shortage
won’t bother him in the least.”
“Speak. What have you done?”
“Well, I’ll tell you,” said Elmer.
“It’s very simple. First of all, I’ve
painted every light in the house a
bright red.”
“What’s the big idea?”
“I want the full atmosphere of
the open road,” he continued. ‘‘Then
I’ve put obstacles all over every
room so there’ll be trouble getting
anywhere. I’m hanging a dead-end
sign at the front door and I put a
detour marker on the back door to
complicate matters.”
“Yes, but . . .”
“Don’t interrupt,” he snapped.
“I’m putting windshield wipers on
every window in the house, break
ing them first. I mean breaking
the windshield wipers, not the win
dows. I want to be sure none of
’em work. Then I’m setting the
furnace on full tilt and removing the
thermostatic adjustments. I want to
be sure I’m hot.”
We were beginning to get the
drift.
“I’m putting in a big stock of
horscmeat, frankfurters and stale
rolls, a lot of wet peanuts and plenty
of bananas and soda pop. Enough
to last all fall and winter,” he con
tinued. “And I’ve ordered a four
months’ supply of pickles, hard
boiled eggs and all the other junk
people eat on their Sunday after
noon pleasure trips. Gas or no gas,
I don’t want to take any chance
on being cut off from all my ac
customed pleasures.”
* * *
“You mean you’re not even count
ing on using an auto?” we ex
claimed.
“Exactly,” said Elmer. “I’ll have
my house all fixed up with every
thing I can get through motoring.
I’m even arranging to have grease
put all over the chairs and walls
and I’m putting in a small stove to
burn nothing but rubber. And see
this?”
Elmer held up a phonograph rec
ord.
“Put it on the machine and all
it does is just snarl in different keys.
Every little while a voice yells, ‘Get
over, ya big bum!’ ”
* * *
Mr. Twitchell was well pleased
with himself.
“It’s a pretty good idea,” we
agreed.
“Good my eye. It’s perfect,” con
cluded Elmer. “Without a pint of
gasoline to my name I’m all set
to enjoy everything at home that I
would enjoy if I went out in the
auto.”
• • *
INEXPLICABLE
It seems to me somewhat ironic,
That tender care, massage, and
tonic
Should be required of men who
cherish
A scalp that’s adequately hairish.
Whereas unwanted hair that’s
strewn
Across the chin and cheeks, though
hewn <
And leveled to the skin and
thwarted
When it is barely getting started,
Despite mistreatment, curse, and
scorning
Returns augmented every morning.
—Richard Armour.
* * *
“New automobiles will lose their
decorative touch and frills.”—Head
line.
We may even have to get along
for two years in succession with the
same radiator ornament.
* * •
Autumn; When you feel so strange |
going around with no broken-bottle \
wounds in your feet, no mustard on
your shirt, no sand in your ears and
no plaster across the bridge of your ■
nose.
• * *
VAGABONDIA
Books and beer upon a table,
A pinch of snuff for those who’re
able;
A pipe of ’baccy for a friend
Whom fortune may see fit to send:
So shall mine house well ordered be
for a friend who finds his friend
in me.
—Gordon R. Kigham.
* * *
Elmer Twitchell insists that he
drove up to a fashionable pumping
station Sunday and found a sign
"Reserved” on it
By VIRGINIA VALE
(Released by Western Newspaper Union.)
“/CAPTAINS of the Clouds”
(Warner Bros.) brought
the war right home to Holly
wood. More than 100 pilots of
the company who worked for
a month in Canada are now in
service overseas. James
Cagney, Alan Hale, George
Tobias and Dennis Morgan
now would rather talk about
the Royal Canadian Air force than
about anything else. They have so
many friends in it!
By the time the picture is re
leased, virtually every one of the
Canadian fliers who appear in it
will be overseas.
Jean Phillips has finally taken it
for granted that she’ll have to
change the color of her hair for
each new picture. Naturally blonde,
JEAN PHILLIPS
it’s been dyed four times for her
last four films. She thought she
could just be herself for “Sweater
Girl,” but June Preisser and Betty
Jane Rhodes have the other top
roles, and they’re both blondes.
Back to the hairdresser’s for Miss
Phillips!
Samuel Goldwyn has acquired
rights to the famous “off to work
we go” song of the little men in
“Snow White and the Seven
Dwarfs.” It will be used as theme
music for the seven droll professors
in “Ball of Fire,” starring Barbara
Stanwyck and Gary Cooper.
Twentieth Century-Fox sort of
faced a problem recently; Ginger
Rogers was to make one picture for
the company, and there just wasn’t 1
a good story for her. And Ginger’s
valuable property nowadays. So— [
she’s going to appear in a re-make '
of “Chicago,” which probably will j
be called “Roxy Hart.” She’s also
slated to start in “Self-Made Cin
derella,” Lubitsch’s first one for
Fox.
Too bad the off-stage dialogue of
Myrna Loy and William Powell
can’t be used in “The Shadow of
the Thin Man.” The other day they j
made a scene in which Asta, the |
famous dog, had to sit on Powell’s
chest. Asta seemed to feel sort of
silly. Powell retired to his dress
ing room for a few minutes, and
when he returned they tried it i
again, and Asta adored sitting on j
his chest.
“I changed my necktie for a few |
strips of bacon,” Powell explained,
exhibiting a neat bow.
“Do you suppose Asta was inter
ested in the bacon,” asked Miss
Loy, “or in the ham?”
The fourth picture dealing with
the Burma road will be Metro’s
“China Caravan.” Columbia plans
“Burma Road,” Fox plans “Over
the Burma Road,” Universal has
“Burma Convoy” all done. Evident
ly everybody decided at the same
j moment that the Burma road was
news.
To make factual, uncolored news
available to the people of Central
and South America, one of the big
radio makers is sponsoring a daily
program of press association news
over local radio stations throughout
Latin America; it’s the first special
news program for general distri
bution there to be sponsored by a
United States company.
There are more ways than one
to make an excellent living and a
solid reputation in radio. Alice
Youngman is doing it via the dram
-1 atized commercial route; she has
assignments on “Are You a Miss
| i n g Heir?”, “Helen’s Home” and
the Lanny Ross programs.
ODDS AND ENDS Radio's Dinah
Shore, singing star of the Eddie Cantor
show, has a new college degree—Doctor
of Blues, presented to her by Harvard
i f res hmen . . . Monogram’s going to bring
I “Black Beauty” buck to the screen ...
I And Metro will do the same for the play,
“Her Cardboard Lover,” which was made
wa y back in 1932 under the title of “The
Passionate Plumber” . . . Sonja Heme has
signed a new long term contract with t ax;
starts work again January first . . . Olivia
ie Haviland escapes from hoop shirts and
bustles for her role as the young wife of
! co llege professor lUnry fonda in Ihe
| Mele Animal.”
HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL, I’ERRY, GEORGIA
IJ ERE is a matter of morbid
A mathematics for the country to
think about. Four out of ten—four
| hundred out of a thousand—four
hundred thousand
out of a million—
this is the proper
g /■ tion or the percent-
P age the U. S. army,
navy and air force
have found physi
■MbK' s cally unfit to enter
national service—a
nation 40 per cent
r, p * iys * ca^y deficient.
feet, hearts, legs
Grantlandßicc and bodies were all
included in the
physical decadence of modern youth
—a terrific indictment of the nation
wide methods of developing fitness
and health among the younger ages,
supposed to be the healthiest of all.
Just why is this so—and what can
be done about it? In looking for the
right answer we have gone directly
to the leading football coaches and
football trainers from California to
Harvard, from Michigan to Tulane,
from Yale and Princeton to the
great Southwest with Texas in the
lead, to Army and Navy.
These trainers and coaches not
only know their jobs of health build
ing thoroughly, but they give the
problem more time and care than
any other group in sport—Roland
Bevin and Red Blaik of Army, Jim
Cox and Dick Harlow of Harvard,
Frank Kavanagh and Carl Snavely
of Cornell, Stub Allison and Bert
Jones of California, Swede Larson
of Navy, Red Dawson of Tulane,
Red Sanders of Vanderbilt, Matty
Bell of S. M. U., Dutch Meyer of
T. C. U., Dana Bible of Texas,
George Munger of Penn, Jess Neely
of Rice, Tad Wieman of Princeton,
Spike Nelson of Yale—these are only
a few who have been more than
helpful in giving complete details
for athletic training for squads that
altogether total more than 20,000
candidates between the ages of 18
and 22. These coaches and train
ers are doing a tremendous job of
physical building up.
Why It Is
Why is it that so many young fel
lows are in such poor physical
shape? One of the best answers
1 comes from Roland Bevin, Army’s
able football trainer who was with
Earl Blaik through his regime at •
Dartmouth.
“The ordinary student at college
j practically chooses his own mode
j of living,” Bevin writes, “It is rare
| ly regular. Where a boy has mea-
I ger financial resources, a couple of
hot dogs may constitute his daily
j rations. He may sleep in a poorly
j ventilated room or in one poorly
heated. Some are underfed—others
i overfeed themselves. Both can lead
j to sickness and sluggishness.
“In modern times students with
cars race around to all points of
amusement in all hours of the night,
then rush back trying to get their
studies prepared for an early class.
I In this way they lose sleep and rest
they will never regain. With this
goes stimulants to ward off sleepi
ness, another health wrecker. Then
j when hours for recreation come the
boy is too tired mentally and physi
■ cally to want any exercise.
Fielding Yost once told me, “They
I say we should turn sport back to
j the boys. Well, at Michigan out of
12,000 students, I don’t believe 500,
left alone, would ever keep them
selves in shape. There would be lit
tle sport among the majority—and
worse health.”
The Dope About Diet
One big national trouble is the
quality and quantity of food that is
eaten. Here is a suggestion from
Frank Kavanagh, Cornell’s football
trainer who has always turned in a
fine job.
“At Cornell we use a well-bal
anced diet,” says Doc Kavanagh.
“We avoid all highly seasoned and
all fried foods. The diet is kept
high in proteins. We try to feed
our boys the best meats possible,
such as steaks and roast beef, ail
green vegetables, whole wheat
breads, light desserts and milk.
“An important point,” Doc Kava
nagh continues, “is the time of eat
ing before and after a contest. This
should be watched before all com
petitions at all ages. We feed the
team about four hours before a con
test. This permits time for proper
digestion. I believe teams should
wait from an hour and a half to two
hours before eating again after a
game. There must be time after a
game to let the nervous system re
gain its normal place.”
“Our players eat the noon and
evening meals at the training ta
ble,” says Jim Cox, Harvard trainer.
“They drink punch made from
fresh citrus fruits at noon, and milk
at the evening meal. No pastries or
coffee are served. Ice cream is the
regular dessert at night. No second
helpings are served at noon. No
highly seasoned foods, no condi
ments or spice and no fried foods.
Three hours before each game an
eight-ounce broiled steak, mashed
potatoes, new peas, weak tea with
lemon, dry toast and orange sher
bet are served.”
SsSKEW 'improved
UNIFORM INTERNATIONAL
SUNDAY I
chool Lesson
By HAROLD L. LUNDQUIST. D. D.
Dean of The Moody Bible Institute
of Chicago.
(Released by Western Newspaper Union.)
11 ..-a>
Lesson for October 12
Lesson subjects and Scripture texts se
lected and copyrighted by International
I Council of Religious Education; used by
permission.
CHRIST OUR SAVIOUR
LESSON TEXT—Matthew 20:2,1-28; Luk»
19:1-10.
GOLDEN TEXT—For God so loved the
world, that he gave hts only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth In him should not
perish, but have everlasting life. —John 3:16,
“I believe in God, the Father Al
mighty, . . . and in Jesus Christ
His only Son, our Lord ... I be
lieve in the Holy Ghost.” How often
we have solemnly repeated these
words in the Apostles’ Creed, and
how appropriate it is that our pres
ent three month series of lessons on
great Christian teachings should be
gin last Sunday with a study of God,
the Creator and heavenly Father,
and continue today with Christ the
Saviour, and present next Sunday
the Holy Spirit, the Comforter.
These are profound Christian
truths, but. at the same time they
are so simple as to be grasped by
the youngest child. Today we have
the great privilege of presenting in
our classes our Saviour, the Lord
Jesus Christ. He was
I. The Self-Denying Servant (Malt.
20:25-28).
Scripture clearly teaches that
God’s standards are not the same
as the world’s standards, and that
His methods of operation are just
the opposite of those of the world.
All too often Christians and churches
imitate the world both in principle
and practice, with disastrous re
sults. Consider
1. The False Greatness of the
World (v. 25). “Rulers”—“great
ness”—“exercise authority”—how
altogether up-to-date these words,
sound. They are the big and swell
ing words of the small hearts and
j minds which rule after the manner
of this world. They epitomize the
ambitions of the great majority of
mankind, but they are definitely
non-Christian. We see that as we
go on to consider
2. The Humility of True Great
ness (vv. 26, 27). Service in the
1 spirit of humility and self-sacrifice—
! this is the standard of Christ. Yes,
\ and it is His command to His fol
lowers. To be great for Christ one
must become the servant of others.
This teaching appears all through
Scripture (for example, see Luke
4:11; John 13:13-17; I Pet. 5:5, 6).
How often service in the church is
rendered in a spirit of pride, self
glory, and for the commendation
and reward of men. When that re
ward is not forthcoming or some
real humbling sacrifice is required,
the work is not desired or the work
er becomes offended. Here is one
of the roots of trouble in the church.
Let us put it away as we look upon
3. Christ Our Example (v. 28). He
paid the price of our redemption,
going to the death of Calvary for
us. From the highest glory which
He had with the Father (John 17:5),
He graciously stooped to deepest ig
nominy as He became sin for us
(II Cor. 5:21). Throughout both His
life and His death He perfectly rep
resented that self-denying, self-hum
bling service which He expects of
His followers.
11. The Seeking Saviour (Luke
19:1-10).
There is much that is precious
and beautiful to be said about our
Lord, but perhaps nothing which
brings Him so close to needy hu
manity as the fact that He had
“come to seek and to save that
which was lost” (v. 10). He was
1. Ever Interested in Sinners (vv.
1-7). Jesus was on this occasion
coming up to Jerusalem for the last
time. The cross was ahead. He
was much taken up with His coming
death and greatly straitened in
spirit (see Mark 10:32 and Luke
12:50). He was passing through the
great and wicked city of Jericho,
yet in the midst of His deep sorrow
and out of the vast multitude of that
city He reached out to touch one
sinner.
Zacchaeus was a man despised
for his calling of tax collector, and
hated for his dishonesty. He was
an outcast from his own people and
a stranger to God’s grace, but Jesus
was interested in him. Are we ready
thus to go to seek and save the
lost? Are we better (or busier) than
our Lord?
2. Always Able to Save Sinners
(vv. 8-10). Zacchaeus was a rich
man, but he was a sinner. It is not
easy for a rich man to be saved,
but it can be done (sec Matt. 19:
23-26). Read the preceding verses of
that chapter (w. 16-22) and you
learn of another rich man who was
not saved, the rich young ruler. He
was a far better man than Zac
chaeus —honest, upright, honored in
his community. How was it that
the wicked and despised rich man
was saved and the good and respect
ed rich man was lost?
The answer is that the former ad
mitted that he was a sinner and
thus made it possible for Christ to
save him, while the latter loved him
self and his gold more than Christ
and shut the door against His re
! deeming love.
PATTEPNSJL I
S£ WING^CIRCLE
/j
<-y I4SQB~<J
“IT’S to be another jumper
year,” says every fashion
prophet who knows a thing about
school smartness. Pattern No.
1450-B sounds a new note in jump
ers—it has a jacket, too. The
jacket is long sleeved, waist
length, collarless—of a peasant
feeling which keys it perfectly for
the youthful, wide-skirted jumper.
The latter is cut with a square
neckline, low enough in front and
in back to allow a great part of
pretty blouses or soft sweaters to
be clearly visible. The jacket
makes this outfit warm enough to
carry you right through the early
autumn, and the whole outfit is so
“Mail call sounds as sweet as
pay call when the folks back home
send a carton of cigarettes or a
tin of, tobacco.” This is the con
census among men in all branches
of the service who have ranked
tobacco first in the gift line. Actual
sales records from service stores—
in the Army, Navy, Marine Corps,
and Coast Guard—showing the fa
vorite cigarette is Camel. The
popular smoking tobacco is Prince
Albert. Local dealers have been
featuring cartons of Camels and
pound tins of Prince Albert as most
welcome gifts from the folks back
home to the boys in the service.
—Adv.
Anger’s Effect
Anger makes dull men witty,
but it keeps them poor.—Bacon.
' 1 "' 1 r ■' " ——
AAAJin THE CIGARETTE OF
UHIvBIL costliertobaccos
slim you can wear it under t
winter coat easily. The jumper
closes with a placket in the sid«
which may be closed with snaps,
hooks and eyes, buttons or a
zipper.
Corduroy in bright vibrant col
ors is the first choice for a fabric
for this jumper and jacket. Wool
tweeds, gabardine, scotch plaids,
flannel and velveteen are other
suitable materials.
• • •
Barbara Bell Pattern No. 1450-B Is de
signed for sizes IX, 13, 15, 17 and 19. Cor
responding bust measurements 29. 31, 33,
35 and 37. Size 13 (31) jumper requires
3>/« yards 38-lnch material; Jacket, 3
yards. Send your order to:
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT.
Room 1324
311 W. Wackcr Dr. Chicago
Enclose 15 cents In coins for
Pattern No Size
Name
Address
View of Life
Life is a fragment, a moment
between two eternities, influenced
by all that has preceded, and to
influence all that follows. The only
way to illumine it is by extent of
view.—William Ellery Channing.
® CHOICE OF -v
MILLIDNS *
Links in the Chain
The diminutive links in the chain
of habit are generally too small to
be felt, till they are too strong to
be broken.
INDIGESTION
what Doctors do for It
Doctors know that hths trapped in the stomach or
Ruliet may act like n hair-triK^eron the heart. They
not iraa free with the faßteat-actina: medicine* known
the Tautest act like the medicine* in HelLans
Tablets. Try Dell-ana today. If the FIRST DOBW
doesn't prove Roll-ana hotter, return bottle to ns and
receive UOURLF money back. 25c. at all drutf stores.
Choice Vice
So for a good old gentlemanly
vice I think I must take up with
avarice.—Byron.
Rascals Alone
Men who are rascals severally
are highly worthy people in th*
mass.—Montesquieu.
"Cap-Bru>h"Appllcator I
JUST A go MUCH FARTHER
DASH IN FEATHERS 7?V 4E
