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REALLY FAST!
A group of British and American
sailors were swapping yarns about
their ships. “I’m curious about your
carriers,” one British tar said. “How
fast are they?”
One American turned his wad of
gum over. “Well, to tell you the
truth, chum," he replied. “I don’t
know. We’ve never really opened
them up. All they’ve been required
to do so far is to keep up with the
planes.”
Tough Customers
"Well, ma'am,” explained the
merchant seaman who didn’t like to
boast about losing a leg when his
ship was torpedoed, "I was swim
ming towards a lifeboat when a
shark grabbed me by the leg.”
"Gracious! And what did you do?” |
"Oh, I let him have it. I never,
argue with a shark.”
SECOND FRONT
Gob—How did you like Venice? [
Marine—l only was there a few
days. The place was flooded.
Reverse English
Sambo—Niggah, Ah’se gwan to
punch yo nose all evah yo face
and close up dern eyes ob yourn, et
cetera! Does you git me?
Rastus—Ah pits you. But yo don’
mean et cetera. Yo means vice
versa!
Irreplaceable
Mother—l hope that spanking will
teach you not to tie saucepans on
dogs’ tails.
Sonny—But mother it wasn’t our
dog.
Mother—l know that, but it was
my saucepan.
|
Welcome Suitor
Mabel—Well, what did my Dad
say about our getting married?
Abel—Do you want me to leave
out the swear words?
Mabel—Why, of course!
Abel—He didn’t say a thing!
Early Season Dope
May—The football coach says our
team has n very poor line this year. |
June—He’s all wet. I met some [
of the fellows in training. What a
line they can hand out!
Experienced Mechanic
Rastus—How about youall crank
ing mah ole Ford for me?
Sambo—Maybe, but them kind o’
mules don’t back their cars when
they get ready to kick.
Cooking Equipment
Mrs. What beautiful scallops
you’ve made on the pie, Mandy.
How did you do it?
.Mandy—Dot’s easy, mam. Ah jest
used mah false teeth.
Sue You Later
Painter—Gee, it’s pretty lucky I
dropped this pail of paint on you
right in front of the door to the doc
tor’s olllce.
Victim—Ych! But I’m the doctor!
NEXT QUESTION, PLEASE
Quizzer—How can you keep milk
from getting sour?
Quizzee—Keep it in the cow!
Raise the Celling
Stranger—You farmers raise the
grain. What do all the other people
do before we consumers get the
flour?
Farmer—Raise the price!
Hash Dishes
Housewife—And how are you on
fancy dishes?
New Cook—Well, I’m awful care
• ful, ma’am, but sometimes things
will break.
What, No Snakes?
Stranger—Are you sure it’s safe
to swim here? There aren’t any
crocodiles?
Native—Sure. The octopus kept
them away until the sharks came.
Times Have Changed!
Housewife—Here, my good man,
a nickel for a cup of coffee. ,
Tramp—Lady, you get me a cup
of cotfce and I’ll give you a dime!
Nice Figure
Jack—She seems to be a well
reared young lady.
Mack—Looks pretty good from
the front, too.
Hot or Cold?
Teacher—Johnny, what meal do
we eat in the morning?
John—Well, at our house, every
.morning we have oatmeal.
Ladies’ Hats
Mrs.—Don’t you think my new
hat is a perfect fit?
Mr.—Fit? It’s a convulsion!
Phone by Months
Girl—Hello. Hello! Is this May? i
Voice—No, this is Augustl
I
Zke
KAHN
TAILORING
EXPERT
is Coming!
j I
WHEELER TOLBERT
A Special Representative
kXhli
TAILORING W.
OF INDIANAPOLIS
tuill be in our store on
MONDAY & TUESDAY
JAN. 24 & 25
I
with a
Special Showing of the
Newest Suitings and
Coalings Made to Order
You tire cordially invited to
inspect his large showing of
"suit-size” samples ... in the
newest patterns, colors and
weaves. He will be glad to
take your measure for imme
diate or future delivery,
MOORE
Dry Goods Co.
Phone 140 Perry, Ga.
We can’t win the war without the
navy; our soldier can’t win unless
our ships deliver; merchant ships
can’t deliver unless the home front
provides. One important convoy job
is flashing signals as this youth is
doing in the Battle of the Atlantic.
Your equally important job is to
continue buying War Bonds until
victory. [/. s. Treasury Defa
I
Ain’t Love Grand
Joe—Since I met you, I can’t sleep,
I can’t cat, I can’t drink.
Joanne—Why not, my darling?
Joe—Because I’m always broke!
With Pleasure
Mary—Now that we re engaged,
you’ll give me a ring some time?
Jerry—Oh, certainly, my dear.
What’s your number?
Pardon Me!
Him—What makes you say my
love is puppy love?
Her—You make runs in my stock
ings just like my dog, Rover.
Wise Man
Mrs. Jones—Does your husband
walk in his sleep?
Mrs. Smith—No. It’s very exag
gerating. He just grim,
HEBE’S HOW
By W. T. M., County Agent
Q. How can I prevent disease
on garden crops?
A. Many surface-borne di
seases can be prevented or con-I
trolled by treating seed before, 1
j planting with some of the stand
ard chemical treatments, such as
semesan, cuprocide or spergon.
hind out what is available and
follow directions for applying.
This treatment may be given be
fore pi nting time and is good
for most garden seed.
Q. Is there a difference in
treatment for disease prevention
tnri inoculation?
A Yes, legumes or nitrogen
gathering plants, such as beans,
peas and soybeans, should be in
oculated with bacterial cultures
if to be planted in soil which hast
id previously grown the crop'
successtsstully. Inocu I a t i o n(
with the right culture in mosti
cases will increase in a marked j
degree the production results, 1
.nd there will be an increase in!
nitrogen nodules on the plant'
tools Usually such legumes!
would not be treated for disease
Q. How can I use skim milk
other than feeding it to pigs and
1 chickens?
A. Skim milk is just what you j
need to make cottage cheese. |
The average yield is IA pounds
of cheese per gallon of milk.
i Cottage cheess, a valuable food,
is excellent to use in alternate
meat dishes, for salads and for
sandwich fillings. The process
| is very simple and requires little
time. The whey is left to feed
j chickens and pigs.
Q How can I increase the
j production of my cows?
A. The following practices, if
allowed, will maintain an in
creased production of milk:
1. Provide abundant pastures.
2. provide plenty of good hay—
-400 pounds a month for small:
j cows and 500 pounds for large,
3 provide abundant silage —at
i least 2)4 tons per cow, 4, feed
good roughage liberally, 6. feed j
balanced rations —u s e protein <
concentrates wisely. 7. feed toj
avoid summer slump—su m m e rj
decline in milk production is'
largely the result of inadequate |
feed, 8. raise calves with less l
milk—start calves on grain and ,
and hay at 2 weeks of age and'
send more milk to market.
CULL NON-LAYING HENS
County Agent W, T. Middle
brooks this week recommended
the elimination of all non-laying
hens from the farm dock as the
best way to obtain more efficient
production.
Pie urged Georgia farm fami
lies to start a culling campaign
this month in order to help solve
the critical feed situation. “Call
it the ‘Lay or Die Campaign,’
because we must stop wasting
vital food on free boarders,” Mr.
Viiddlehrooks continued.
The Extension agent pointed
out that “there are many farm
flocks of 75 to 100 hens now pro
ducing only 20 tj 80 percent as
much as they should, and these !
I loafing birds are taking food,'
away from producing pullets.”
Poultry is now the second
largest consumer of feed grains
and concentrates. Swine pro
duction takes 57 million tons of
these feeds, poultry 28.5 million.
| dairy cattle 21 million and beef
cattle 21 million,
"
wyraKss j
Your money goes into battle every
I time you invest in War Bonds—goes
! up to the German lines in the form of
'tanks, planes, assault boats as pic
! tured here in the Mediterranean
area.
Success of our troops depends upon
the help they get from the home
j front. Bullets fired yesterday won’t
| win tomorrow’s battle. War Bonds
bought last month won’t pay for
our next offensive. Give your dol
far* action; Buy More War Bonds.
U. S. Treasury Department j
WOOD USED IN WAR ITEMS |
The following information,just
received in this office of the For- ]
est Service, is given to the pub-j
1 lie in order to emphasize the ur-1
gent need for greater lumber
production and to secure still!
! greater cooperation from those
engaged in and interested in tun 1
ber and lumber output.
1. PT boat requires about 28,-,
000 bd. feet.
2. Barracks require about 1, •
400 bd. ft. per man.
8. Medium tanks, not crated,
require from 100 to 150 bd. ft.
for blocking, and from 50 to 75
bd. ft. for boxing material which
goes with the tank.
4. 40 mm. anti-aircraft gun
crates require abcut 875 bd. ft.
each, which includes the direc
tor and generator.
1 5. Motorcycle crates require
[ about 90 bd. ft. each.
, 6. Rifle boxes—l 6 bd. ft. per
: box containing 10 rifles.
(The last three items —anti-
aircraft gun crates, motorcycle
j crates, and rifle boxes are used
j in large quantities.)
7. Wood barges require about
200,000 bd. ft. per barge.
8. About 300,000 bd. ft. of
decking is required for a battle
j ship.
9. About 5,000 bd. ft. is re
quired to crate an airplane.
DID YOU KNOW...?
Consumption of fresh aspara
gus, carrots, cauliflower, celery
and lettuce have more than
doubled in the past 20 years, but
we are eating less cabbage, spin
ach and sweet potatoes.
If every hoin e in America
wastes only one slice of bread a
week, the total waste would
amount to two million loaves a
year
The nine Southern States pro
duce less corn than lowa.
Farm operators were working
,an average of 12.8 hours per day
[on June 1, about 8-4 hour longer
i than on June 1, 1940.
j Even before the war, table
manners of British nobility per
jmitted saving of food by tipping
the soup bowl, mopping up gravy
.with bread, and chasing the last
[ pea around the plate.
Legumes and grasses cut for
hay at early stages yield 65 per
cent more protein than the same
crops cut at late stages of ma
turity.
Texas is the largest turkey- 1
producing state, but Eastern tur- 1
keys bring'twice as much peri
head.
Six soldiers eat more food
than 10 average civilians.
Nutritionists say that the noon
meal should provide at least 1-8
of the daily dietary require
ments.
USE PUREBRED SIRES
The quickest and usually the
least expensive way to improve
| livestock is to use purebred sires,
! Extension Service County Agent
W. T. Middlebrooks declared to
day.
“Emphasis on the right kind
of sires does not mean that fe-1
males in a breeding program are
not important,” he continued,
but one cow usually produces
only one offspring a year while a
male may sire 50 or more calves
a year.”
The county agent declared that i
the ability of a dairy cow to pro
duce a large quantity of milk
and butter depends to a very
large extent upon her inheri
tance. The cow with the in
herited ability to produce lots of
milk will be more profitable, year
in and year out, than one of poor
breeding. This holds true un
der any system of feeding and
management.
“A good cow will pay the far-;
mer for the feed she eats, labor, j
[and a little profit because she j
1 produces enough milk to pay the
feed and labor bill and still have
some left for her owner,” Mr.
Middlebrooks continued.
1 The agent stressed the fact,
however, that breeding is not
the only thing of importance.
! Good feed and care are very im
jportant, he said, hut the best
i feed and care can only go as far
as the inherited ability of the;
cow will permit.
m&m bokos*
RATION FREE
SHOE SALE
l liw \ ' O. P. A. Special Release
Leather Sole Shoes to be
sold Ration Free through
* January 29.
Women’s Slippers in Suedes, Kids, Kips,
Gabardines; Black, Brown, Colors; AH
sizes represented. Priced at
$1.98, $2.45, $2.95
Remember, no Ration Coupon needed for these Shoes
on Sale through Jan. 29. Make your selection as
as soon possible as your number may be scarce.
Moore Dry Goods Co.
“More For Your Money At /Moore’s’’
Phone 110 Pe njCa.
PREPARE FOR PLANTING
VICTORY GARDENS
'
We have a stock of Garden Fertilizer, Garden
Seed, Tools, and Plows.
A good supply of Farm Fertilizer. All grades.
Manufacturers advise to buy and take delivery early on
account of extreme scarcity of labor for mixing and
sacking. We experienced a shortage last year, and con
ditions are more acute than ever. Give us your order
and permit immediate delivery.
A number of good young MULES on hand.
Come look them over.
We have a fair stock of Planters, Distributors, Plows,
Weeders, Drag Harrows, and are expecting some
Cultivators soon. Place your order quick as supplies are
short. We also have several good used Tractors, some
with cultivating and planting equipment. Good values.
A good stock of Oats for those who have not planted yet.
If you have something to sell or buy—see us.
Geo. C. Nunn & Son
Phone 31 Perry, Ga.
~ ——
FERTILIZER
For Grain in Stock and also a small
amount of Soda.
Gur CORN SHELLING PLANT
operates Daily. We are in the
market for small or large lots of
Corn. See us for Prices.
DAVIS WAREHOUSE
Phone 87 MAYO DAVIS, Prop’r. Perry, Ga.
FARM HARDWARE
Now is the time to repair Farm Machinery.
We have genuine McCormickDeering
parts at our store.
Plow Points and Pow Equipment of all
kinds. All types of Farm Tools. Let us
supply your needs now.
Andrew Hardware Co.
PHONE 500 PERRY, GA.
SUBSCRIPTIONS
MUST BE PAID IN ADVANCE
