Newspaper Page Text
THE GAINESVILLE NEWS. WEDNESDAY JULY 23. 1902
CONDENSED STORIES.
Same old type stand,
Same old case,
Same old reprint
In one’s face.
ame old type,
Same old stick,
Same old job press
You’ve got to kick.
Same, old papers
on the floor,
Same old editor
Scatterin’more.
Same old “rubberneck”
/ Gazing about,
Same old hobo
Who won *t get out.
Same old fussing
The whole day long,
Same old cry of
“Your proof’® set wrong.
Same old bucket —
Always dry,
Same old pump
Standing nigh.
Same: old foreman,
Same old cry,
“Into the hell box
With all that pi. ”
Same old “haug-a-round”
• With all his gall,
Same old puddin 5 head
Who knows it all.
Same old manager
Who’ll always say:
“ustle, ray >» y,
You’ll come some day.”
Same old story
Often told,
Of the office
who’s growing old.
Same old wages,
Nothing to save,
Same old pauper
Down to the grave.
Same old minister
With bock in hand,
•Same old funeral
All over the land.
Same old song,
Of a life well spent,
No cause assigned
For the form so bent.
Same old earth
Where ail are laid,
Same old mourner,
Same old spade.
Same old lamenting,
A sigh and a moan,
The devil at last
Has claimed his own.
—Us Devils
What Senator Platt Has Learned
About Newspaper Making.
Senator Platt of Connecticut says
that he has learned one great truth
about the newspaper business after
many years of reading them.
A number of newspaper men, says
the Washington Post, went in to see
him after a meeting of the commit
tee on Cuba to learn what had been
accomplished toward the Teller in
vestigation. Senator Platt made a
very brief statement regarding the
proposal to call President Havemey-
er and others of the sugar trust,
and it was suggested to him that a
little more detail would be accepta
ble, as a column story on the ,sub
ject would i>e desired by the news
papers.
Mr. Platt smiled quizzically at
the newspaper men a moment and
then told of his great truth.
“The newspapers are not inter
ested in anything that is completed.
You want a column about a subject,
that has not yet developed, but
when I looked in the newspapers
this morning, to see what they said
about the agreement on the Chinese
exclusion bill I could find almost
nothing.”
The newspaper men agreed with
him.
Joked a Future Senator.
Ex-Senator Edward 0. Wolcott
established a law and real estate of
fice with his brother in George
town, Colo., at the outset of his ca
reer, but as the law department of
the concern was unprofitable he de-
Constipatiou
MAkES
Biliousness,.
and Bad Complexions \
io result. Then where's yaar beauty?
MORE COTTON
More Potash
in the Cotton fertilizer Improves the
soil; increases yield—‘larger profits.
Send for our book (free) explaining how to
get these results.
GERMAN KALI WORKS,
93 Nassau St., New York.
me eirrcunai tells a good story
about his accent.' Shortly after his
arrival in this country an old wom
an called at the delegation upon
some matter of minor importance
and was granted an audience with
the affable apostolic delegate. Then
she startled the people of Washing
ton by assuring them that the new
delegate was an Irishman.
“Indeed, then, he is Irish,” she
said, “because I heard him talk.
And, sure, isn’t his name Martin^
Kelly?”
It is quite a joke now among ec
clesiastics to allude to his eminence
as Martin Kelly.—Washington Cor.
New York World.
Eloquence in Blank.
One of the humorous incidents of
the recent French elections is the
joke perpetrated by one of the can
didates in Auvergne, who was op
posing the sitting member.- -He had
distributed thousands of copies of
a blank pamphlet bearing the title
“Speeches by M. Chose In the
Chamber ‘ of Deputies of 1898-
1902.” As a rule deputies’ speeches
are used against them by their op
ponents, but in the present instance
the member for Auvergne never
once opened his mouth during the
whole session. His parliamentary
eloquence was therefore represented
bv a dozen pages of blank paper.
and restore the blood to its natural condition. And when pure blood
, - _ . . carried to the nicer or sore the healing pnxs
fbegins, the discharge ceases and the place ha
S. S. S. is a strictly
over and new skin forms,
table blood purifier containing no mercaiycrj
minerals of any description. j
a: or chronic sore of any kind, write us about it, md
u nothing. Books on Cancer and other diseased
iree. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., Atlanta, 6a.
Two hundred dollars profits per
acre is not a bad showing for far
ming in this region. From ten
acres of land near Wilmington,
says the Messenger, of that city
there has been marketed $2,595
work of Irish potatoes this season.
Net result, $1,895. Georgia soil is
as productive as North Carolina
and the experienc i9 worth trying.
“Ed Wolcott & Bro.,” which had
just been replaced by a new one.
When he arrived at his destination,
the miners gathered around and
looked him over, staring hard at
the sign strapped on the donkey.
“Say, young feller,” - drawled one
of them, “which of you all is Ed ?”
What you buy here is fresh and nice—you can
We have mo old stuff to unload ou our customers,
“It seemed that nothing short
of a miracle could save my little
daughter from an untimely
death,” says City Marshall A.
H. Malcolm, of Cherokee,Kan.
“When two years old she was
taken with stomach and bowel
trouble and despite the efforts
of the best physicians we could
procure, she grew gradually
worse and was pronounced in
curable. A friend advised
Means a great deal, so we always please our trade,
would be glad for you to come in and let us show you what we
doing for others We are perfectly willing to sell You j 1 ^ 5t
Miles* Y
and after giving it a few days
she began to improve and final
ly fully recovered. She is now
past five years of age and the
very picture of health.”
8old by all Druggist*.
Dr. Milss Modtcal Co.. Elkhart, Ind.
A man never loves with Ins rea
son and a woman never reasons
with her love.
HI* Eminence "Martin Kelly."
Cardinal Martinelli learned Eng
lish in Dublin, Ireland, and speaks
it with the soft, 1 mellow brogue pi
th e educated Irishman front that
part of .the Emerald I&la.
Two wrongs never made a right any |
more than two blondes make a brun- j
ette. •/. ■ 1
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