About The times. (Gainesville, Ga.) 1972-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 9, 2018)
2E Sunday, December 9, 2018 The Times, Gainesville, Georgia | gainesvilletimes.com LIFE Lessons for a lifetime found in ‘Earthsea novels BY CHARLES ROZIER I was an awkward and still- too-trusting nerd in middle school when I discovered magic really is hidden among library books, and there I found my first real hero: Ged the Archmage. You too can find him in “A Wizard of Earthsea,” first published in 1968 and considered a classic of fantasy literature. In his story, a young, magical Ged attends the premier school for learning the wizarding arts — the school on Roke Island, and not that other one. There he shows remarkable talents and brash cockiness, but a schoolboy attempt to prove himself more powerful than a peer cracks reality itself, and something dark from the other side slips into his world. This dark shadow follows Ged for the rest of the story into his early adulthood, chasing him as his fear drives him onward from the safety of Roke Island. On the run, he faces down a dragon, outwits a manipulative ancient evil, and recovers part of a ring of power that will give the next king of all the lands legiti macy to rule them. Ged learns more and more about himself with each mistake he makes, and so he eventually becomes Arch mage through the power such lessons provide. He overtakes the shadow, of course. In my story, I am still learning from mistakes — still not an archmage, still pretty awkward, still happily discovering magic in librar ies. Ged was always more proud than I ever was, and rightfully so if you rate our achievements. Yet I feel I’ve made similar kinds of horri fying mistakes and ran from consequences, too. In what was supposed to be his last appearance in “The Farthest Shore,” a middle- aged Ged helps young prince Arren solve a worldwide mystery, but in the end must give up all the power within himself to correct a terrible crime. All over the world people started forgetting the things that used to bring them joy, from their songs to their crafts to their dreams, even the hopeful future they felt when admiring their own children. Dark times. Try to imagine each of your joyful holidays losing its meaning, one by one, as the people around you turn instead to sit and stare into their own dull imaginations, stare away at nothing rather than sing another song with you in celebration of time less, shared truths. What this book showed me scared me. It turns out there’s a hole in the wall between the dead and the living. The hole drains life from the liv ing, and someone made that hole for a reason. Our heroes correct this crime and close that hole — it requires Ged to empty himself of all his power — but not before he spends a lot of time during their adventure showing and telling the prince, who is just hitting his stride as a competent, though insecure, teenager, that life and death form a balance that cannot be broken. He tells Arren: “Life rises out of death, death rises out of life; in being opposite they yearn to each other, they give birth to each other and are forever The‘Earthsea’ novels, by Ursula Le Guin from 1968 to 2001, including ■ ‘A Wizard of Earthsea’ (1968) ■ ‘The Tombs of Atuan’ (1971) ■ ‘The Farthest Shore’ (1972) ■ ‘Tehanu’ (1990) ■ ‘The Other Wind’ (2001) reborn. And with them all is reborn, the flower of the apple tree, the light of the stars. In life is death. In death is rebirth. What then is life without death? Life unchang ing, everlasting, eternal? What is it but death — death without rebirth?” Arren can’t make any sense out of it. How could he as just a teenager? The older I get, the more sense it makes. I too am still learning to understand what scared me so long ago. Over the years I followed the “Earthsea” novels, I watched Ged age before I got there myself. Ged continues to live on in Tehanu, but suf fering in a petulant depression because of his trauma from closing the hole and dealing with his sudden impotence and weaknesses — even as an older man he’s still learn ing new lessons from new mistakes. He ages into a quiet and lov ing family man, ending up in “The Other Wind” as a patient grandfather of a reborn dragon. But he is not the hero in this last story, and there are interesting reasons to explore how that’s the case. To put it simply, though, you learn that each of us, when pursuing the earnest and authentic expres sion of our core and center, will become hero at the right moment. We do it together. One of those heroes is the woman who wrote Ged’s story: Ursula Le Guin. Le Guin died in January of this year, leaving behind a lot of literature, ideas and heroes. Le Guin helped me to under stand parts of myself that I would come to know only through age and experience. She helped me embrace my awkwardness. She wrote about races and classes and sexes and religions in chal lenging, refreshing ways that were neither traditional nor feminist nor revolutionary nor liberal nor conservative, but reveal our humanity in each of these states. I return to her writings, return to my roots, where early lessons sprout up from the rich, dark soil of her words and mature into a towering, old forest above. Sheltering underneath such a canopy, I enjoy finding wisdom in the patterns all around us and accept the humbling responsibility to mold myself into those pat terns rather than bend them to fit me. Can’t remember the words? That’s okay! Let me help out by suggesting what worked for me. Find them for yourself by discover ing what’s inside your local libraries. Spending your time in the forests inside each new book, you’ll find magic still hides among the dappled lights and susurrus shadows playing among the leaves. Charles Rozier works at Blackshear Place Library and occasionally teaches philosophy in the local area. LOS ANGELES TIMES SUNDAY CROSSWORD “CULINARY SCHOOL”By PAUL COULTER ACROSS 1 8 for O, e.g. 5 Quibbles 10 “M*A*S*H” actor 14 Like bachelor parties 18 Excel 20 Autumn color 21 Tea party host 23 Pie company exec? 25 Bad brunch review? 26 Find new quarters for 27 Winter fall 29 Film units 30 Michelangelo masterpiece 31 MSN competitor 32 Cooking fat 34 Guadalajara girls 37 Neighborhood with meat purveyors? 43 Air freshener scent 46 Performed, in Shakespeare 48 How surprise party guests should arrive 49 Blanched 50 Yours, in Tours 51 Doc bloc 52 Keisters 54 “Momo” author Michael 55 ATM code you rotate regularly? 59 FICA benefit 60 Unit in Ohm’s Law 62 Costa del 63 Female antelope 64 Mellow 66 Looked lecherously 67 Suffix meaning “living substance’’ 69 Not yet on the sched. 70 Coast 72 Like many churches 75 Light 78 Adaptable truck, for short 79 “Bravo!” 82 Barbershop parts 83 Batman and the Boy Wonder, e.g. 84 Thief at a fertility clinic? 87 AA and AAA, e.g. 88 Takes from a 124 Firm employees: 15 Bind, in a way 58 Words indicating 88 Easy paces deck Abbr. 16 Asian sea a delay 89 Misers 90 “Do Ya” rock gp. 125 Bone on a menu 17 Mil. bigwigs 60 Thomas 93 Saddle-holding 91 “I see” 126 Some NCOs 19 Arousing associate bands 92 Starry-eyed 127 Time at the inn 22 As a result of 61 Euripides 94 Tiny messenger agreement, this tragedy 96 Keats, in a often DOWN 24 Chinese 65 “Criminal Minds” Shelley title 93 Area below the 1 Cleopatra killer currency agcy. 97 Economizes abdomen 2 Choreographer 28 -rock 67 Some 99 AT&T and 95 Leslie of “Gigi” Twyla 33 Modern address Olympians, Verizon 97 Holders of 3 Japanese- 35 Commonly used nowadays 100 Dept, of Justice roasts American saws 68 Leaf’s central bigwigs 98 Nasty group of 4 Without delay, 36 Gullible sort vein 102 Opp. of legato, directors? as payment 38 Cut out 71 Two-time Tony in music 101 Like Dennis the 5 Intimidates 39 “You lose a winner Patti 106 Still Menace 6 Advil target lot of time, 72 Zeno, notably 107 Baffled 103 Part of Q.E.D. 7 MLB scoreboard people”: Marian 73 Concealed 108 Humane org. 104 Bit of baby talk abbr. Anderson 74 Bullion unit 109 On the disabled 105 Leg bone 8 Homes built 40 Dog tag datum 76 Natural fertilizer list, say 108 Old will? indoors 41 Close-knit group 77 Hungarian wine 110 Without : 111 Work (out) 9 Traitors 42 Injured, in a way region riskily 114 Inflexible 10 Crazily 43 Drummer Ulrich 79 “I wasn’t 112 Farm females 116 Stadium for a 11 Like a flimsy 44 “Am late?” expecting you” 113 “Not to mention boxing match? excuse 45 Hang loosely 80 “ we forget” ...” 118 Journalists 12 Backstage 47 Place for an 81 God with a 114 Came down covering a spicy theater workers honoree quiver 115 “Vaya con ” story? 13 An MRI may 53 Collection of 85 Hardly haute 117 Bit of heckling 121 Wood reveal a torn heir pieces? cuisine 119 “Andy Capp” preservatives one 54 Blunt blade 86 Large South cartoonist 122 Farm refrain 14 “Fiddler on the 56 Do-nothing American Smythe 123 Spock’s father Roof” setting 57 Wikipedia policy rodents 120 blue 12/9/18 xwordeditor@aol.com ©2018 Tribune Content Agency, LLC. SOLUTION, 4E I Sponsored by: ^ NORTH GEORGIA LA S~\ -4~ ZA I M nunmucun™ H /\QOpl mei Met Cremation's ™ 770-540-2078 ' S& From the Humane Society of Northeast Georgia 845 Ridge Road, Gainesville | Hours: 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Saturday, 1 -5 p.m. Sunday. Phone: 770-532-6617 | website: www.hsnega.com Meet Ash Ash is a 3-year-old Retriever mix. She is sugar and spice and everything nice! Ash is loving pup who deserves a lov ing home. ID number: 40104249 Meet Oats Oats is a 4-month-old kitten. Oats’ only wish to Santa is that he finds a forever family for the holi days! ID number: 39664352 From the Hall County Animal Shelter 1688 Barber Road, Gainesville | Hours: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday Phone: 678-450-1587 | website: www.hallcounty.org/276/Animal-Services Meet Adam Adam is a 5-month- old male domestic shorthair cat. ID number: 40190443 Meet Sebastian Sebastian is a 3-year-old male hound mix. ID number: 39674346 Check out these pets’ pictures in color at www.gainesvilletimes.com Establishing holiday traditions with your new family Question: About a year ago I married a man with a lovely little four-year-old girl. Since his ex and he share equal custody, I am with this child for a week at a time every other week. It has worked out well and we adore each other. My husband and I wanted to take her to take pictures with Santa, and told her we would go this Saturday when she is with us. When her mother heard about it, she hit the ceiling. She said I had no right to take the child anywhere, and called my husband and really laid into him. Both of us are taking the child! What am I not seeing? What’s good ex-etiquette? Answer: First, asking, “What am I not seeing?” is another way of asking if you’re contributing DR. JANN BLACKSTONE dr.jann@exetiquette.com to the communication break down — and good for you for stepping away and trying to see things from her perspective. (Ex-etiquette for parents rule No. 7, “Use empathy when prob lem solving.”) Truth is, there’s not much she can do if the child is scheduled to be with dad, but her anger is an indicator that she doesn’t like it one little bit that you’re devel oping a close relationship with her daughter. Plus, doing things that they may have done in the past as a family really hurts and she’s probably reacting on pure emotion. Here’s a little more empathy ... the every-other-week custody agreement is especially difficult for a parent who is used to being the primary care giver. In this case, mom gets divorced, her ex remarries, all of a sudden, she doesn’t see her child for a week at a time and another woman is taking care of her baby. It would not be surprising if mom feels guilty for being divorced and worries that she can’t be the mother that she wants to be. She has no control over the situation or what her child does when she’s not in her care. Add that her daughter loves you and you have one really scared mom. Rarely do we put our best foot forward when feel ing vulnerable and insecure. By the same token, you and your husband are probably rejoicing in finding each other. It’s your first Christmas together and possibly the hap piest time of your life. You’re probably looking to establish holiday traditions with your new family and taking Santa pictures seems like a logical choice. As you add children to the mix, it will probably become a ritual each year — a ritual that must include your bonus daugh ter because she is an active member of your family as well as an active member of mom’s family. The thing both homes must remember is life after a break up does not have to be a tug of war. You can both be on the same side — the child’s side. Although mom may feel neglected and you may feel mis understood, if you both use the child’s best interest as the crite ria for decision making, it won’t matter with whom she takes Santa pictures — only that she gets to do it — possibly twice — and, that’s good ex-etiquette. Dr. Jann Blackstone is the author of “Ex-etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After Divorce or Separation.” She can be contacted at dr.jann@exetiquette.com.
