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The Times, Gainesville, Georgia | gainesvilletimes.com
Thursday, December 13, 2018 5 B
THURSDAY EVENING
C = Charter M = Comcast
DECEMBER 13^2018
7pm I 7:30 8pm I 8:30 I 9pm I 9:30 I 10pm I 10:30 I 11 pm I 11:30
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Last Man St.
Find time to take care of yourself
CAROLYN HAX
tellme@washpost.com
Dear Carolyn:
I am a married
woman with two
elementary-age sons.
I’ve often felt I do way
more to help the three
of them than they do
to help me — which is
understandable with
kids, frustrating with a
husband — but lately
it’s gotten much worse. I’ve been
feeling as though my life would be so
much better if I wasn’t around them.
I feel horrible feeling like this —
what kind of a mother longs for a life
without her kids? I should feel lucky;
there are so many people who dream
for this life. But it dawned on me yes
terday, maybe this is just a midlife
crisis, which is normal and which
people get through.
Is this a normal phase or some
thing else? How do people get
through this without leaving their
family, which I wouldn’t do?
— Midlife Crisis?
Translation: “I’m tired of being
dumped on and taken for granted.
What’s wrong with me?”
How about: Nothing. Nothing is
wrong with you.
Your life is out of balance.
That’s not about midlife or bad
mothering or excessive good luck
or whatever else you’re reaching
for. It’s just about your life taking
more out of you than it gives back.
That’s normal and fixable and best
fixed soon before it causes bigger
problems, like wanting out of your
family entirely because anger is
the only feeling you have left and
because you finally grasp that’s not
sustainable.
So, while you still
recognize yourself,
figure out how to
make that self whole.
Small changes at first,
because you can make
them right away and
see if they offer relief.
They’re also less disrup
tive; you can work your
way up to making bigger changes
only after it’s clear you need to make
them.
Also, organize your life into two
columns: things that restore you and
things that deplete. For anything
on the “deplete” side, think of rem
edies. Like chores: What is a fair
division of labor? Can you discuss
that with your husband? Can you
each take responsibility for things
you’re better at, to make the load
feel lighter?
People who step in for an under-
invested partner get depleted faster,
so his list should include the chores
you can afford to drop completely
— if he doesn’t do them, then no one
does. He does his own laundry, for
example, because not having clean
clothes will force his hand but not
affect you.
Also train your kids to pick up
chores from the “deplete” side. It
takes more work upfront — and
patience — to teach the necessary
skills, but kids can and should con
tribute proportionately to the running
of a household. It’s healthy for them.
Items on the “restore” side go on
your calendar in regular time slots.
Treat them as sacred. Tuesday eve
nings, you see friends. Sundays, you
sleep in. Etc.
If you get pushback — oh my good
ness I hope not — then make it clear
you are in serious burnout territory
and addressing the problem is not
optional.
Please also find yourself a skilled
therapist, if you have the means and
access. Depression is sneaky, and
you could easily have it or be on your
way there. Regardless, solo counsel
ing could yield ideas for your mar
riage. On the “restore” side, either
way.
Chat with Carolyn online at noon each
Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.
DAILY CROSSWORD
ACROSS
1 Guru’s practice
5 Attention-getter
9 Blouse part
13 Scored well
14 Centering point
15 Postpone
16 Nevada town
17 Tinned meat
18 Prefix with
structure
19 Cramped
21 Throngs
23 Almost grads
24 Had occasion
for
26 “Casablanca”
hero
28 Retiree’s kitty
29 Less mature
33 Cowpokes’ pals
38 Contrite
39 Provo’s state
40 Pitchers Dizzy
and Daffy
43 Diminish
44 Kind of relief
46 Permits
48 Napoleon, e.g.
51 Loud thud
52 Nail shaper
53 Lightened up
57 Waterlily leaf
60 Durable wood
62 Ads
64 Excuse
66 Long spear
68 Traveler Marco
69 Column type
70 Big pitcher
71 Sundance Kid’s
wife
72 Cattail
73 Burrows
74 Dorm room
item
PREVIOUS PUZZLE SOLVED
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12-13-18 © 2018 UFS, Dist. by Andrews McMeel for UFS
11
DOWN
32
Hearty loaves
Tale
33
Eggplant color
Tuna habitat
34
Scintilla
Class
35
Gangplank
Dote on
36
Shoplifter
Grabbed the
37
— Mineo of films
phone
41
Pen points
Short flight
42
Dashes away
Mild cheese
45
Movie reviewer
Part of ROM
47
Arab chief
Ginza money
49
Pamplona
Switch positions
shout
Deborah of old
50
Gathered grain
films
54
Strode along
Bullpen stats
55
Steal the scene
Track and field
56
Blockheads
event
57
Certain poker
Norse Zeus
holding
Personal
58
— vera lotion
history
59
Enjoy a repast
Meet defiantly
61
Emu relative
Recognized
63
Steep
Pate de foie —
65
Contractor’s
Ocean-going
figure
bird
67
Cask
57
58
59
64
65
69
72
BRIDGE
LOWENTHAL REMEMBERED
North-South vulnerable, North deals
NORTH
A A 10 6 5
<?AK97
O Q 7 5
*72
WEST
* Q 4 2
Q 10 6 5 3
O A964
*J
EAST
* 83
0>J8
O K 10 8 2
*Q 1096 4
SOUTH
* K J 9 7
<?42
OJ3
* A K 8 5 3
The bidding:
NORTH EAST SOUTH
WEST
10 Pass 2*
Pass
2V Pass 2A
4* All pass
Pass
Opening lead: Two of *
The late John Lowenthal
was an
expert player but an eccentric opening
leader. His partners described his
opening lead style like this: the lead
of an honor denied a touching honor,
the lead of a low card promised an
honor sequence somewhere in the
suit, and the lead of trump indicated
a desire to ruff something.
West in today’s deal was young
Danish star Signe Buus Thomsen.
She is way too young to have met
Lowenthal, but her choice of opening
lead reminded us of our late friend.
The auction did call for a trump
lead, but who would lead away from
three to the queen of trumps except
Lowenthal? Signe Buus Thomsen,
that’s who! The trump lead was the
only lead to defeat the contract.
Declarer won the opening lead in
hand with the nine, cashed dummy’s
ace and king of hearts, and ruffed
a heart in his hand. It looked like a
crossruff would easily get him to 10
tricks. He tried to cash the ace and
king of clubs, but Thomsen ruffed
the king of clubs and led the queen
of spades, forcing South to break the
diamond suit on his own, losing three
tricks there, and the contract failed.
Nice lead!
(Bob Jones welcomes readers'
responses sent in care of this
newspaper or to Tribune Content
Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove
Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001.
E-mail: teaeditors@tribpub.com)
Unscramble these Jumbles,
one letter to each square,
to form four ordinary words.
THAT SCRAMBLED WORD GAME
By David L. Hoyt and Jeff Knurek
WRAPN
r- N
LASIA
2 S
T
BRGIEG
^ y v
SLEUUF
©2018 Tribune Content Agency, LLC
All Rights Reserved.
K kL a
WHEN THE SPIES
SECURELY PLACED
THE HIDDEN LISTENING
„ DEVICE, IT WAS —
Now arrange the circled letters
to form the surprise answer, as
suggested by the above cartoon.
vv
Yesterday’s
(Answers tomorrow)
Jumbles: GRANT PLAID POORLY BRUNCH
Answer: The book about Henry Ford and his car
company was an — “AUTO”-BIOGRAPHY
SUDOKU
DIFFICULTY RATING:
8
1
8
8
9
1
8
8
HOW TO PLAY
Each row, column and
set of 3-by-3 boxes must
contain the numbers
1 -9 without repetition
12/13
© 2018 Dist. by Andrews McMcel Syndication for UFS
PREVIOUS SOLUTION
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