About The times. (Gainesville, Ga.) 1972-current | View Entire Issue (March 1, 2024)
FUN+GAMES ®he Sftnes gainesvilletimes.com Weekend Edition - March 1-2, 2024 Jim Massara Life Editor I 770-718-34211 life@gainesvilletimes.com Mother-in-law mainly sees world through her rigid diet Dear Carolyn: I've always found my in laws stressful—particularly my mother-in-law. She is con sistently negative, follows an EXTREMELY rigid diet and is critical about everything we eat if it doesn't fit her diet. My husband and I have been doing IVF, part of a grueling mul tiyear saga. He shared this with his parents, and next time we saw them, I got an interrogation, includ ing her proclamation/diagnosis that my infertility could be due to my (normal, nonrigid) diet. She was extra critical of everything she saw me eating after that. I kept my mouth shut because I've been conditioned to make nice with them. My husband frequently says his parents think I don't like them — trust me, I try my hard est — and they are very sensitive. But my husband did not understand my frustration AT ALL, which surprised me: “She means well, what's the big deal? Just ignore her.'' This came up again, so I asked him to let his mom know not to speak to me about my diet, but he thinks that's stepping in for me inappropriately. The idea of being that vulner able with her after what happened is abhorrent to me. I also think it would be a huge mistake, given her extreme sensitivity and conviction that I don't like them, based on ... not visiting enough? I imagine speaking to his parents even less will cause problems, too. I can't imagine eating in front of them again. What to do? — Anonymous It's based on your not liking them. Well, her. Feel any better after reading that? I felt unburdened just typ ing it. Your mother-in-law has astonishing bound ary problems and, I suspect, more than a touch of an eating disorder, and you're in a raw place with infertility treat ments, all complicating your in-law encounters. But the baseline problem still is that you dislike your mother-in-law and don't feel empowered to live that honestly, not even in the pri vacy of your marriage. It's a boot on your chest. And your husband couldn't fix it by telling Mama to back off, even if he wanted to or had a freaking clue. (Dude — self-embedded- head extraction, stat. Your mom just blamed your wife for not con ceiving; do you always sell your wife out like this?) But he did clear your path to step in for yourself appropriately. You'll have no peace until your relationship with your mother-in- law is honest, if only Triscuit-deep. That means standing up for yourself when you'd rather not, poking at sensitivities you don't want to inflame, just as you feel maximally strung out. But it’s either that or the fake- smiles-and-food-harassment status quo, which doesn't sound sustain able for much longer. Two plans to choose from, when you're ready: superficial Plan A or go-for-it Plan B. A. She criticizes your diet. You, immediately: “I know you care, but this is stressful. I won't discuss my diet.'' She reacts. You respond, “Please respect my wishes." She pushes, you say, “Excuse me, I have to go ...” work my spindle or sing with woodland creatures, then leave. B. You tell your mother-in-law: “I must seem standoffish, and I'm sorry for that — but here's why. I don't like to analyze what I eat. Diet is obviously important to you, so I've tried to meet you halfway, but I'm afraid my discomfort shows. In fact, especially now, I would deeply appreciate NOT talk ing about my body. Deal?” If she doesn't cooperate, then use A, which is all you, no one's coop eration required. Either way, once you've drawn your line, ever after: “Hm, next topic!” As in, NEVER talk diet with her again. Chat with Carolyn online at noon each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. CAROLYN HAX Columnist LOS ANGELES TIMES SUNDAY CROSSWORD “ACADEMIC 88 Music industry CLUBS” BY AMY drama series JOHNSON & KATIE starring Taraji P. HALE Henson 89 NAACP_ ACROSS Awards 1 Sorrowful sigh 91 Cold, slushy 5 Crude cartel treat since 1960 92 Nemo’s home 9 Blue, in 93 Mystery writer Barcelona Paretsky 13 Shady plot 94 Victoria’s Secret 18 Actress Sorvino purchase 19 City in Victor 97 Haggler’s Hugo novels concern 21 “Catch ya later!” 99 Club for 22 Jazz singer Cleo philosophy 23 Club for music majors? majors? 104 Middle Eastern 26 Agent title concerned with 106 Short greetings spots 108 How tempura is 27 Heredity units fried 28 Causing 109 Scrooge visitor shudders, 110 Come really maybe close to 29 Key holder, often 112 African 31 Was successful language family in 114 Square 32 YouTube 115 Spanish folk alternative hero 34 Stage name 116 Club for botany intro majors? 35 “How tragic” 36 Club for geology majors? 40 Still in the sack 42 Monogram on some high-end handbags 43 Many corny jokes 44 Go on the lam 46 Biblical name of ancient Syria 48 Christ Superstar” 49 Makes a connection 51 Howled loudly 53 Wasatch Mountains ski town 56 Club for astronomy majors? 59 Standard 60 Standards 62 jockey 63 Rough guess 64 Vague quantity 65 Like extreme measures 68 Reebok rival 71 New citizen, perhaps 73 NFL flag thrower 74 Dull pain 76 Treat 74-Acrosses, maybe 78 Wee 79 Christmas helper 80 Club for paleontology majors? 85 Storage unit 86 station 121 Pass along 11 Abu Dhabi’s fed. 122 British aristocrat 12 Texter’s “I didn’t 123 Changed mean that:)” direction, 13 Rickman of “Die nautically Hard” 124 Uber Eats 14 Time of display Roosevelt’s 125 Many first-time fireside chats voters 15 Club for 126 Some bourbons genealogy 127 Cincinnati majors? ballclub 16 Walk result, 128 Chariot-riding maybe god 17 Brief copy 20 Kind of drum or DOWN guitar 1 “Who to 24 Enter again judge?” 25 “Not my ” 2 Legalese and 30 Moody’s top computerese bond rating 3 Longtime 31 Question of Tottenham motive football rival 32 Wedding 4 GPS tech planner’s 5 Bloom County concern penguin 33 “How tragic” 6 “I Said a Prayer” 34 Freestyle raps singer Tillis 37 “Go faster, 7 Browning’s huskies!” before 38 Genesis figure 8 Show place 39 Like some 9 Smoothie berry neighbors 10 Online pub 41 Highchair wear 45 Safe IRA option 87 Architectural 47 Most lowdown style between 48 Some spreads 1714 and 1830 49 Hardy title 90 Bunch of character honkers 50 Sharp front tooth 94 Stronger, as 52 Systane target mixed drinks 53 “Bizarre Foods” 95 Cash of country host Zimmern 96 Ctrl- -Del 54 Singing nymph 98 Albeit, briefly of the Rhine 100 Dash or slash 55 Club for urban 101 Diary passage planning 102 Mountain lion majors? 103 Big : drug 57 Passing through industry, 58 Three Gorges colloquially structure 104 Tennis great 61 Stockpiles Chris 66 “I’m not eating 105 Fracas that!” 107 Conclude 67 Merriment 111 “Grand” ice 69 Baskin-Robbins cream treat 112 Cause of some 70 Word with ink or nodding egg 113 Shoemaker’s 72 Barb tools 75 Sticky brand 114 Many profs 77 Governor Noem 117 Install, as brick of South Dakota 118 Bedazzle 81 Olympic sword 119 Sam player on 82 Petty squabble “Cheers” 83 Inbox buildup 120 “Breaking Bad” 84 Alert villain Fring 3/3/24 ©2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC. SUNDAY SUDOKU 1 5 6 9 3 3 8 4 3 1 9 8 9 4 3 6 4 2 8 1 4 2 7 6 3 5 4 DIFFICULTY RATING: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS 6 1 2 5 9 7 4 8 3 5 4 8 3 2 6 1 7 9 3 9 7 8 1 4 6 2 5 4 3 1 7 6 8 9 5 2 2 7 9 1 4 5 3 6 8 8 5 6 9 3 2 7 1 4 9 6 4 2 8 1 5 3 7 1 8 5 4 7 3 2 9 6 7 2 3 6 5 9 8 4 1 2/25/24 WEDNESDAY ANSWERS 2-29-24 © 2024 UFS, Dist. by Andrews McMeel for UFS O P O L O N E H E D A C A P A N O Y A N F/ J B A R T N A K E L A I 'K E N E K C 1 H C H L G 'N E R O R E A M A U I O A / H Y A H F O E L A B D C R N A G R 1 C D R L F L E A K U A G L A N 1 M A L E S C 1 H D D K A N J/ A L B J O E R A O O R C D A R T c R Y R J L O T/ C E C H S A R H V A A W W H L T U E L O T E B c D S H R D T E E V D V F R A G R I C U L T O R R U E H R R F A R M E R A S T A R S A O T A H C E S O C 0 A H O T Y 2 9 1 4 8 5 7 6 3 3 4 6 1 7 9 8 2 5 5 7 8 6 3 2 9 4 1 7 5 4 3 2 8 6 1 9 8 6 3 7 9 1 4 5 2 9 1 2 5 6 4 3 7 8 6 3 5 8 1 7 2 9 4 1 2 7 9 4 3 5 8 6 4 8 9 2 5 6 1 3 7 Jumbles: SALSA VENUE SWIVEL STRESS Answer: The cruise ship’s cups, bottles, vases, pitchers, jugs, etc. were the — VESSEL’S VESSELS Answers to Wednesday's Boggld BrainBusters: BEE ANT MOTH FLEA GNAT BEETLE WONDERWORD Answer: Smoothies
