About The times. (Gainesville, Ga.) 1972-current | View Entire Issue (March 8, 2024)
FUN+GAMES ®he Sftnes gainesvilletimes.com Weekend Edition - March 8-9, 2024 Jim Massara Life Editor I 770-718-34211 life@gainesvilletimes.com Wedding guests upset over which kids get invited Dear Carolyn: My youngest cousin got engaged. My daughters and nieces (ages 14 to 26) were excited for another family wed ding until we learned from his mother no older children are invited. Not even teenagers. This means pretty much every “kid” on my cousin's side is excluded, while the bride's family has all younger children. She is afraid they won't make the trip if their kids aren't invited. So it's the reverse of the “no children” wed ding where young children aren't invited. I've never heard of this. I told my mother that while I under stand the bride wanting her family at her wedding, the point they are missing is that “family” is on both sides. And also that these older children will not only know they weren't invited to the wedding, but also will remem ber, while the younger children won't ever know or care. My aunt is dis traught over this whole thing. They are paying for half the wedding, but now most of our side of the family won't be able to attend or is choosing not to because their kids are being pur posely snubbed. I don't even want to attend, and neither does my brother, but we will probably go without our spouses mainly for my aunt's sake. Have you ever heard of this, and what is your advice on how to handle it? Should we say some thing to our cousin? — C. I thought I had heard every inclusion or exclusion tactic for a wedding guest list, but this is a new one for me. I tip my hat to the happy couple. I'm not as unsympa thetic to their decision as you are, though. I don't agree with their logic, because they're excluding family who are excited to be there in favor of family who'd be fine with a nap and a sit ter—but having to limit guest lists is simply reality for most couples. Whether it's due to cost, space or hassle issues—or all three— they're focusing on the adults of your generation and above, from both sides of the family. That's a fair target, like it or not. Plus set ting limits is their prerogative, and I respect that. I urge you to respect it, too. But not by showing up grudgingly and stag just to make your aunt happy. Call it a grow-up-and-show-up: Accept that weddings are stress ful and expensive; accept that couples face impossible choices; accept that some of the choices they make under pressure may not be the greatest; accept that some sub-great choices don't make them bad people worth alienating with a huffy reciprocal snub. Think about it for a second. You've taken offense on the grounds that “family” is para mount—but counter-snubbing your cousin and his bride is not exactly the way to claim the high ground on family warm fuzzies. So my advice for handling this is for you to attend graciously and with your plus-one. And urge your kids to release any hard feel ings. And make one calm and kind attempt to talk boycotters from your side of the family off the ledge. Advocate for the couple as follows: •Remind them that event plan ning is stressful and couples aren't perfect. For all you know, the bride did this in the first place to appease boycotters on her side. • Remind them that couples don't always respond to pressures the way bystanders want them to. • Remind the boycotters they have choices, too. They can get offended and blow it all up, or they can assume the exclusions aren't personal and have some grace and show up. Keep family unity alive to fight another day. Or something like that. Chat with Carolyn online at noon each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. CAROLYN HAX Columnist LOS ANGELES TIMES SUNDAY CROSSWORD “CON TEST” BY BRIAN THOMAS & KATE CHIN PARK ACROSS 1 Handy smartphone app for a tourist 4 Most pancakes 9 Ijeoma Oluo’s “So You Want To Talk About 13 Lumps in a stack of folded sweatshirts 18 Make a big fuss 20 Auburn, to Alabama 21 Skerry, e.g. 22 Con current? 24 Bradbury genre 25 Brotherly sort 26 Blackpink genre 27 December quaff 29 River near Shakespeare’s birthplace 30 Argentine grassland 33 Con tour? 37 Con quest? 41 Hardly any 42 Squeaky toy? 43 With 52-Across, some midriff baring attire 44 “Star Trek: TNG” counselor Deanna 45 Leg bone 47 System connecting OAK and SFO 50 Patella spots 52 See 43-Across 54 Con sorts? 57 Plays chords, in a way 59 Aristotle’s teacher 61 Fictional Amelia who, when asked to remove spots from a dress, cut out all the polka dots 62 Maui’s Road to 63 Iranian money 64 Chart-topper 65 “Shucks!” 66 “Black-ish” dad 68 Con note? 73 Tic-tac-toe side 74 Slitherers in the sea 76 Freedom Rider’s ride 77 Scuffle 78 As concerns 80 Code names 82 “See what I did there?” 84 Drives too fast 86 Con text? 88 Half of quatorze 90 Spousal term of endearment 92 Toss, slangily 93 Performed miserably 95 Put pen to paper 97 “Aida” river 98 Classic film about a football- kicking mule 100 Swing about 101 Configure? 103 Con script? 108 False move 109 Capital of Italia 110 Lacking freshness 111 “... I thought” 113 Saint-Saens’s “ Macabre” 117 Conscious 119 Con form? 124 Seeds, weeds, and feeds 125 Asteroids publisher 126 “Wait, what happened?” 127 Come up 128 Nave-y bases? 129 “Divine Comedy” poet 130 Greek vowel DOWN 1 Tennis great Steffi 2 Skating team 3 iPhone speaker 4 Reorganize a hard drive, familiarly 5 Cocktail sphere 6 “Yakety horn-heavy novelty hit 7 Algonquian- speaking people 8 Manicure sound 9 Salt garnish locale 10 Letters after Madison or before Maria 11 Source of hemp 12 John who completed an EGOT in 2024 13 That fella’s 14 Name on a Wienermobile 15 Tapenade fruit 16 Crusoe’s creator 17 Stay 19 Major drama 20 Two bars and two dots, on a staff 23 Actor Hardy 28 Macroeconomics abbr. 31 Actor born Laurence Tureaud 32 Components 34 Proclamation 35 Hasbro’s “game of unspeakable fun” 36 Turn 37 “Cathy” cry 38 Vessels in a pharaoh’s tomb 39 Follow the rules 40 1960s nonconformist 46 HS exam with a cellular energetics section 48 Dadcore jeans specification 49 Lacking freshness 51 Olympic gold medalist Lee 53 Tear it up 55 Unleash 56 Spunk 58 Many an Argentine red 60 Up in the air 63 Campground sights, briefly 64 Rte. 66, e.g. 66 The “D” of CODA 67 Baton-passing event 69 Boots 70 Novelist Leon 71 Like the Resident Evil games 72 Had more than an inkling 75 Rails against failure? 79 Put back 81 Crunch cousin 82 Actor Elliott 83 Jaded feeling 84 Big name in Apple history 85 Ward of “Gone Girl" 87 “See you then!" 89 As per routine 91 “ outta here!” 94 Skywalker mentor 96 GameCube successor 99 Cheap ticket spec 102 Final application 103 Persona non 104 Scull mover 105 Bahia Fort visitor, perhaps 106 Yosemite peak free soloed in “Free Solo,” informally 107 Miracle- 112 Came out with 114 Vertex, in graph theory 115 Clubs, but not cabarets 116 Jazz singer Jones 118 Kampala-to- Nairobi dir. 120 Unedited, as footage 121 OBs, e.g. 122 Racket 123 Chicago winter hrs. 3/10/24 ©2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC. SUNDAY SUDOKU 8 5 6 8 6 9 3 41 1 6 3 5 1 5 8 3 9 2 9 7 8 6 3 5 1 8 5 2 4 DIFFICULTY RATING: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS 2 1 5 8 6 9 4 3 7 6 3 9 7 5 4 2 1 8 7 8 4 3 1 2 9 6 5 9 4 8 2 7 6 3 5 1 1 5 6 9 4 3 7 8 2 3 2 7 1 8 5 6 9 4 5 9 3 4 2 8 1 7 6 4 6 1 5 9 7 8 2 3 8 7 2 6 3 1 5 4 9 3/3/24 WEDNESDAY ANSWERS P A L M O L E A S L A Y T Y P H E C R I M R A N A J A r] M A N E H E M O M A N D O B O E P U R M E T A E A T S G L O W G A G A s I O N H E S S L A I R L U R E ■ T E N L E S T L A C E D M 0 R E A V I A S E N D 3-7-24 ) 2024 UFS, Dist. by Andrews McMeel for UFS D E T O N Q U I C I S S A L C U I U R Y R A L P M E X E L U D E G M O S A L x A E J J A I L G I D E A L A E D I D E S N A A T I N C T B O L D X M I T I T N O M E R P U S L C P C E T N A T R O P M I u A 0 L O S T I I V E T O E A p N D A C S C V U I M N B J L R I A R I E N O Q N O I T E J E M T S L N I M P O R T A N T M E O U O T T A B A L A N I M E S N O B I S Y M B O L I C M Y S A M M A I C N E L E C X E R O P A I L D I S T I N T O S O M A F S 4 9 2 6 1 5 7 8 3 7 6 8 3 2 4 9 5 1 3 5 1 9 8 7 2 4 6 1 3 5 2 9 8 6 7 4 8 4 6 1 7 3 5 2 9 2 7 9 5 4 6 3 1 8 5 8 4 7 6 9 1 3 2 6 1 3 4 5 2 8 9 7 9 2 7 8 3 1 4 6 5 Jumbles: FURRY LAUGH EXTENT ACCESS Answer: The dinosaur that knew lots of synonyms was a - “THESAURUS” REX Answers to Wednesday's Boggld BrainBusters: PEAR LIME LEMON MANGO ORANGE WONDERWORD Answer: Loyalty
