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GWIXXETT HERALD.
•-a- i , .-i -mi'"" 1 " -g
--—-— every Tuesday Eve
< 4 -v
0
SUBMI’RIPTKrtLRIATEH:
me Year, - - - #I.BO
Six Mouths, - - 75
Throe “ - - - - 50
All subscriptions must lie paid in
advance, and If not renewed prompt
ly al the expiration will be .discontin
ued.
ADVERTISEMENTS
Of a transient character will be charg
ed #1 for the first insertion, and 50c
for eaeh subsequent insertion.
<STCommunications intended for
personal benefit, will be charged for
lit the refruhu advertised rates.
short and newsy coniniuuiea
ions from any part ot the county so
icited.
General Directory.
CIVIL OoVEHNMk.NT-
N . L Hutchins. Judge Sup. Court.
i> T ain Clerk Sup. Court,
J T Ijimkiu Or inary,
W , P. Cosbv, Sheriff.
W K. Brown, Treasurer.
D. W Andrews, lax Receiver,
J R V truer, Tax Codectorr
R N Maffett, Surveyor.
J, H. Wilson, Coroner.
COUNTY COMMISSIONERS.
•I D and Clerk, N
Bennett, J F, Cloud, J li Hops ins, An
drew Uarner.
BOARD OF EDUCATION,
T. K. Winn. School Commissioner J*.
D. Spence, a T-Patillo,. J. Webb.
J. R. Nowell, T. K. Winn.
JUSTICES
Lawrenctv.lle, J 4d7th diet —W, C
Cole. J- P„ M. L, Adair, N.P, Ist Fri
day.
Berkshire, 405 dist—J, W. Andrews
J* P.. Charles M, Kinney, N. P. 3rd
Saturday.
Beu Smith’s, 316 dist—W. D. Simms
J P, J O Hawthorn, N. P, 3rd Sat
urday .
Bay Creek, 129,idist—W. J. Baggett
J. p„ J. I’. McKlvaney, N.P. lit Sat
urday.
CateC, 4tlßlh dist —J. M, Arnold. J,
P., K, W Na.-h, N. P.2nd Saturday
Caine's 562nd dist— A. Adams, J. P
C B Pool. N P , 3rd Saturday
Duluth 1263 dist.—W F, Brewer? J
P., Marion Roberts, N P., Thnrsday be
fore 4lh Saturday
Harliin’s 478 dist —G. L. Knight
J. P., J. VV. Hamilton, N. P-
Thursday before Ist Saturday.
Hog Mo’fftain, 444 Jist—A. L
Sammons, J. P., W. L. Andrews,
N. P. 4 h Saturday.
Mart nV, 544 dist—Asa Wright,
J. P, J. R. Nowell, N. P. 4tti
Saturday.
Norcrcbs, 406 - W. R. Simpson,
J. P, A. A. Martin, N. P. Friday
before 3rd Saturday.
Rock Bridge, 571 dint—A. J.
e.iiowery. J- P., E. J. Mason, N. P.
Saturday.
vvvunee, 404t1i dist—T. N.
I ton >i, J. P., A G. Harris, N P.
dft y aturday.
ord, 550t1i dis —T. C. Bur
. P., J. M. Posey, N, P. Fri-
Jo afore 3rd Saturday.
MUNICIPAL-
C. Smith, Mayor.
COUNCIL.
. L Moor,-, K D Herriu 8 A Townley
J Browu
ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE OK TRAIN
Arrives from Suwannee. 5 50 p. m
Leaves lor Suwannee, 7 a - m.
ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE OF MAILS.
Jfkferson —Arrives 12 ill, depots
p. m., Monday und Thursday.
Tkaules Stork. Departs 6a in ar
rives $ pm, Monday and Thursday.
Louanvillk. Arrives 10 a m, de
parts 1 p nt. —Daily.
Yellow Rivkr.-- Arrives I*2 in., de
parts (i a m„Welnesday and Saturday
W. 11. U ARYEY, P. -
OHC ROUES
Baptist- -Hiv J L ll Burielt, pastor
Sei vices every Sunday
Methodist— Kev M D Turner Pastor
Services on the Ist and 2nd Sundays
Sunday School,—A r Pattillo, Supt
ttverry Sunday at d p in
Presbyterian- -ltev .1 P McClelland,
Pastor, Services on 2nd and 4th Sundays
ill each month.
Sunday School. — I K Powell. Supt
Every Sunday ai 0.3 ) a nr
FRATERNAL.
Lawrencevili.e Masonic lajdue. it
I) vV nn, W M., K A llagood, S W„
S I,Winn JW. Meets on Tuesday
oight on or befo c lull moon in each
mouth.
M r Vernon Chapter, No 39, R A
M.—J D Spence. 11 P, a I Pattillo,
Sec. Meet- Finlay night before the
3rd Sunday io each month.
owinnett Sufkriok Court. —N. L.
Hutchins, Judge Convenes on the Ist
Monday in March and September.
tasUtM'lO.
Hliving rriumtlv located iu Gwin
nett County tenders his professions
services ass Physiu’mn to ibe oitisens
Prompt attention to till calls will be
Siven. Ofiftoe and residence at the rest
enceof A Pain on the Hurricane
Shoals road.
arch 24th 18#4 -thm*
NO MORE EYEGLASSES
Mitchell’s
Eye Salve,
A certain, Sa/o, effective remedy for
Sore Weak
Producing Long SiuliledlieH*. and Re
storing Die sight of the old
Cures Tear Drops. Granulaiion,
Stye Turners, lied Eyes, Mat
ted Eye Lashes, and
producing qaick
relief and per
‘ ■ oninenf
cine
Al«n equally efficacious when used
Liu other maladies, such as Ulcers Fe
|rer Sores Tumors, Salt ltheuin.
Burns, Piles or wheiVver in iuttuoia
lion exists, Mitchell s Halve may be
used to advantage.
Su’d by all Druggist 25 cents.
ls.ni a,., cntAi.’T
t~N. T. XV.tsi.tl
Mvs. Js* 11. !CA ]
! 4°f’2
TYLER M. PEEBLES, Propriet r
VOL XIV.
KI) TORI AI, BREVITIES.
An Indiana bride, whose father
gave her $40,000. was permitted
to eat pie wi'h a knilie without
criiicism.
' •
An Ohio editor recently went
up in a ballon. That's just like
an Odo editor; he can't wait 'o
be sent for.
A subscribed advertises for “a
plain girl to cook." He probably
was nfritid he would he hanged if
be cooked a pretty girl.
Florida lias a town named Hur
rah.—Exchat ge. That’s all rioht
Cwiunest County has a town
named You'Bet. and one named
Trip.
Georgia is unfortunate. She
has a judge jusf out of an a.ylum
by courtesy, and seems liable to
have another out of the penitenti
ary by neglec*.
An expere baseball player tried
to catch a ball il rown from the
Washington monument but, was
unable to hold it, So great' was
its velocity that it dented the
ground like a cannon ball,
Georgia has nerves of copjior,
veins of silver and gold and mus
icles of iron, She is roek-ribbed
and decked by nature with every
charm. No wonder Dame For
tune smiles upon her.
One s/iucture in Spain, positive
ly strengthened by theeartquakes,
is the throne of Alfonso. The
Kiug of Spain, afoot, and distrib
uting alms, is a novel scene an I
one apt to make the ruler popu
lar.
There are lorty women acting,
as cashiers of banks in Dakota.
Not one of them has ever speciffat
ed, been short in her accounts, or
manifested ihe slightest hanker
ing for the bracing atmosphere of
Canada
In Vienna resides a Jewish per
man who ii is salil can write 400
Hebrew letters on a grain o!
wheat. He lias also written the
Jewish prayer for the imperial
fa nily on the narrow edge of an
ordinary visiting card.
“Very coid, lasi night, Mr
Townsend,’' observed ibe report' r
“.old! I should say so. Went
home; lit a candle; jumped into
bed; triei to blow candle out;
coulduV do it; blaze frozen: had to
break if off,'’ replied Mr. 'lV,wn.
send.
By a recent marriage not fat
from this county two ladies were
made sisters-in law, They were
before ihe daugUters of brothers
with tne same mother, which
made them half sisters and first
cousins.
Dr. Leroy Wenger, a reputable
physician of Rending, was called
upon to attend a dnld of John
Baver. Its afflicton appeared to
be a mysterious one. There was
a prickly sen ation ah over ii s
body. A neighbor declared that
it was bewitched, and that a cer
tain woman, living near by. was
trying to kill it by sticking need
les into iis body. This the pur
rents believi d and tent for “Dr.’’
Hagmm, of Rarding, who has a
reputation throughout this anil
neighboring counties of being
able to drive away witches. He
declared that she rhild was bewitch
ed, and that it was possessed of
the devil besides, //e tieo a hag
to the child’s neck and told ihe
mo her „hat whenever t e chi.d
cried the devil would manifest
himself, when she could drive him
away wiih a briar Hwitch The
child became worse and was at
death’s doer when Di Wenger
was oslied in, I u the bag around
the child’s neck be found a lengthy
Gerrnau manuscript, which was
addressed to “Jesus of Nazareth,
King of ihe Jews.” Is the name
of the//oly Trinity it (.alls upon
all bad spirits to depart: “To
fall bfci'k from his marrow, his
hones and his flosb, that he may
be again delivered and be well
again'’ Dr. Wenger ordered
these articles of heathenism to be
ihrown away and the chi'd is im
proving. Several witch doctors
are doing a good business through
out Easiern Pennsylvania by
practicing on the credulty es the
people.
[For iwntsakMtiplL
ItUmp. C. F. Wnf.l
I«atb A Cu. (limited >1
ImaasSt., W. T. 1
duiinnett fHi gtTaltl
Watting Jta/s
Oh, for the bvgone time,
When the rtays were brighter;
Oh, for the moments lied,
When my beatt was lighter!
The days are dreary now,
The clouds above me hover;
My heart is w orn with pain
And joy’s brief reign is over.
Twits thus I sighed the while
About the period olden;
And yearned again to be
Among the hours golden;
And ol my comrades thought,
And of sweet, gentle faces
That long have passed away,
While strangers till their places.
’Till softly to my heart —
The heart that was so broken—
From rnong ttie stars o’erljead
These chering words were spoken
“All earthly joys must die ;
Heaven’s live.tny love,forever! ’•
I knew the voioe, and now
Long for earth's bonds to sever I
7 HE MUSICAL MAjX
It was Mondiy morning in Red
stun streoi. The boarders were
al. inclined to be cross on Monday
mornings—that was perhaps in
sepai able from the weakness of
humanity. The washboiler was
big, afid the siove was little—
iha' was perhaps the reason that
ttie coffee was cold and the chops
undone. The one servant wa„
overworked—that was perhaps
ihe reaso.i that so manj extra
toils upon Mrs. Moody’s s!enlci
shoulders of a Monday. But
when die breakfast, with its end
less criticisms aud perpetual faul
tliidirigs, had come to an en.t, Mrs.
Moody carried a little tray into
Major Pick’s room.
The major was a little lame aud
a good deal hypochondriacal, and
always breakfasted in his own
room. He was particular, and
cousequtQtly occupied the best
room in the house.
The major was a tall,fin cloaking
man, with an i m poping piesencc
a good deal of bald forehead, and
a great aptitude at Scripture quo
la'ions, and all the neighbors said
what a comfort it must be to
Mrs. Moouy to have such a board
er
They did uni know that the ma
jor was r sort of distant cot sin of
the deceased Mr Moo iy, and did
not consider it necessary to pay
bis board very regularly on that
account. But he gave her a good
deal ol exeel’eut advice, and was
always ready to tell hev when
there was anyihing wrong about
the fable.
“Bo kind of him to take such an
ioteres. in m !’’ said the little wid
ow, fervently.
ibe major had orusbed tlie two
wbisps of hair crosswise over the
peak of bis bald bead this morn
ing, cologne 1 bis pocket hundker
chief, and trimmed his filbert-shap
ed finger nails to perfection, and
be was waiting in the big easy
chair for bis breakfast full five
iniiHites before it arrived.
“You’re late this morning, Mrs.
Moody,” he observed, reproachful
ly.
“I ..m a little late,” apologefical
ly confessed Mrs. Moody. “Bui
Sarah .Jaue was behindhand.
There’s a regular Scotch mist in
the air and the kicben chimney
would not draw. Try a new boil
ed egg, major. And the rasher of
bacon is good, I know, for I cook
ed it myself.”
“Humph! humph!” said the ma
jor. “You ough to be a little par
ficulur with youi braukfasts, Mrs.
Moody. Aiey are the initial meal
of the day you know. This coffee
is not us good as usual. It isu’t
real Java, Mrs. Moody, it tastes
like Maracaibo.”
‘I paid Java price for it,” said
Mrs. Moody, meekly; “and the
groeer warranted it.”
‘ You can never depend upon
what these tradespeople say,’
grunted die major, with his mouth
full of <gg and bacon. “By-the
way, ir it possible, Mr* Moody,
shat you have taken that opera
man in*o your third-story hall
bed-room ? I heard it, but I
couldn’t tiling any mind lo believe
it.”
“lie isn’t a singer, major,’plead
ed the trembling Mrs. Moody,
“Lnd he doesn’t play the llute or
the cornet. I took particular
pains to inquire all about that
He’s engaged in writing a musical
book something whicj is to
be quite wonderful— and in the
OUB OWN SECTION WE LAUOII FOH ITS ADVANCEMENT
LAWRENCEVILLE, GA. FEBRUARY 3 1885.
meantime he supports hi ins If by
playing Die third vie fin in the the
atre; for he is very peer and "
“Poor!" snorted the major, set
ting down the cup of despised Mas
acai >0: “it? your circumstances.
Mrs. Moody, you've no business
lakiDg poor boarders.”
“Tea, / know it, major, but be
has just been sick, and tie looks
so pale and wretched "
‘ Thf re it is again! ’cried Major
Peck. A woman is so easily taken
in. I tell you, Mrti Moody, the
man it an impostor, and so you’ll
find it ’’
“Dear dear!" said Mrs. Moody,
the startled lears coming into her
faded blue eyes.
“And if you will uo 1 take my
advice," said the major, waxing
momentarily more irritable, “you
must expect to abide the conie
quencas. This toast is charred—
absolutely burned -to a crisp
Take ii away, Mrs. Moody—do
take it away! My breakfast, is
spoiled!’’
“But what am I to do about the
new boarder?’ said Mrs Moody,
despairingly
“Do!” shouied the major,
“Turn him oui of doors! That’s
the only thing to do. Take away
this toast, I say! It’s a perfect,
outrage on civilization!"
To Mrs. Moony the major’s di r
turn was beyond appeal; and after
she had had her usual morning al
terea.icn with the butcher, she
crept timidly up to the thud-story
ball bedroom to interview the
musical man.
Mr. Morion was writing on the
corner of his wash-eianf, with the
his shabby great-coat on, and a
pocket handkerchief tied nruund
his neck. His pale, grave count
enance softened the landlady's
hear, at, once, as he coutteously,
rose up and bowed.
“You have come for the week’a
board in advance,' said he. “Par
don me, hut out manager never
pays until Saturday eight. It in
not pleasant iq confess one’s pov -
erty, tint ”
“Oh. never mind.” said Mis.
Moody, all in a flutter. ’I 1
only came to see if there was plen
ty of fresh towels. And if you
find it cold writing lure, sir, l'\u
sure your’e very welcome to
bring your work down to the
parlor, where there is a good
fire.”
Mr. Morion smiled and bow.
ed.
‘•Yes,’’ he admitted, “it is cold
without a fire, in November, and 1
pftnno* afford the ex'ra expense
of coal at present.” (He
glanced, at his blue fingers and
shivered a little.) “If it is not too
great a liberty. I will avail myself
of your kind offer.”
And A/rs. Moody felt compare
tive[y happy when she saw the
mubical man dilligently writing, ai
her south window, in die soft at
mosphere of the glowing antlira -
cite.
Bui Mis. Racquet aud her daugli
ttr.Jthe gtnteelsst boarders in the
house look vehement exceptions
o l liia Dew plan.
“I’m not particular, said the
former, with a toss of her head ;
“Bui this is really a little 100
much ! A man who plays in t lie
orchestra of a third rate thea
tre !”
“But he is very r
m’am, I assure you,” said Mrs.
Moody, aegrly
“How am I to know that?"
said Mrs. Raceqret taitly, “I
declare, I was moritiedto dea'h
when Mrs. Lawyer Leakington
came to call and f mnd him per
ched up in the corner ! And Me
lissa and I thali find it nescessary
tc change our bourding house* if
this sort thing is to continue.”
“Mr. Morton is gentleman !,
said Mrs. Moody, roused in into
lempotry spirit. He has an
equal right with yourself in the
parlor !”
Mrs. Racquet and Miss Mets-u
gave warning at once.
Mrs. Moody did not care. Miss
Jenkins, the district set o ill <btell
er, turned up her nose and left
the house.
‘•She wasn’t over critical,'' she
st.id ; “but there were somethings
which do one could stand !”
One by one the boarders drop
ped away, and Major Peck grew
indignant.
“Mrs M'tody,’ he said, “I won
der a! von after all my advice and
• t
council !"
“You wouldn't me trim
this poor,man out of doora now
ot all times, when he’s ill with
malaria ' fever ?" said the wid
ow.
“Yes 1 ttjpuld said the major
stoutly. • *
Bui, for Time, shv disregarded
his advice
The musical man was indeed—
so ill that ht? would undoulvedly
have died, without his landia ly’s
n«fWng aud unremited
afteptron.. But the major never
wont near his felow boardei.
“If Mrs Moody had laken my
advice,” lie#tnid “she never would
havj got herself into th*s dilemma
Notv let Ins’ n.aunage the best
way that she esm !”
The iintsjeAl mail, howev#i’,.did
not die. H? position in
the orchestra, 5f cqwfse. He was
was without meet his
doctor's bill; but Doctor Hayden
was a betj6»l and declar
ed /hat he atfdd ¥ftaii until JtK 1
profit from !tjgj^t mil l vol
ume should rolrtn. A
It was the first of February,
When at las s Mr. Morton was able
once more to.creep down stairs to
the sunny pvffor window, where,
by way of wQteqgie, Mrs. Moody
had placed a pot of blue hya
ciDtbs.
“How can I ever thank yon for
all your care ?” he said earnest
ly-
The little- wdoy bunt into
tears.
I—/ don’t mind it said she. “as
long longues you are well once
once oncer If yon had died ”
An D.hei e she stopped short
and grew'crinison.’
“Is it- so ' tan?' the musical,
man, in that soft deep tenor of his
“Is there any nne'who really cares
whethei’Jiive or die
It would tie difficult to describe
exactly how it happened. Middle
aged love-making is never exactly
lfke the ecstacies of youth, Bu
tt transpired, somehow, that Mor
ton laid his heart at Mrs. Moodx's
feet, and she confessed ihat she
had learned to love him during
that time when she and Death
to id together over his pillow
“You are my guardian angel !’’
he said.
“A poor one enough,” she mur
mured, “Oh I wish, for your sake
Paul that I were younger and pret
tier !”
“You are beautiful in my sighs!”
he returned, with emphasis.
“Your eyes were the firs' that
beamed hope and cheer upon me
your heart waR Ihe first that
softened to my woes. Sweet
heart, the flower which blooms ut
noontide may surely be as sweet
as the morning violet!”
They were si ill talking thus
when Mrs. caught sight of a letter
on ihe table.
“Oh, I forgot!’’ she cried. “The
postman ! And if was a lettter for
you, Paul, A foreign letter.”
■A foreign letter, eh f That is
. something which does not often
greet my eyes,” said he. “And
it has a black seal too.”
He broke i* open and read it,
while unoueious Mrs. Moody trim
med the dead blooms off her bya
cinth plant with a daiuiy pair of
scissors.
‘•Mollie,” he said, snddedly,
“read this Henceforward I have
no secrets from you.”
it was simple enough and ye
how marvelous ! An accident in
a Swiss railway train an apopletic
fit carrying off a rich banker
in Loudon, and the two lives
which intervened bei ween Paul
Morton and a fortune had been re
moved, almost the same day.
The musical man, disinherited
bj his family, because of his devo
tion to art —jeered by his reia
becaiise he reolutly remained true
vo music—was rich at last.
Mrs Moody grew pale.
“You—you won’t care ,for me
now,” sue said. “Oh, Paul I am
sorry, and yet I ought to be
glaJ.”
“On she eontrary,”ibe said ten
derly ; “I care for you moretnan
ever. My jewel! lan place you iu
a fit setting at last."
Of course all this made a great
seiisalton in Redr tone street
There tveib plenty to declare that
that ihey had known all along
Paul Morton was burn aristocrat
There were plenty to assert that
Mis Moody was a scheming plot
ter. But neither of the pur car
ed a straw what people said.
Mrs Moody sold out the lease and
good will of tl e estaolisliuteut in
Redstone street, and went to En
gland with her husband, the hap
piest of forty year old brides.
While Major Peck polished his
eye glasses with the corner of a
silk hanket’chief. aud mtmuered
■ boughtfully :
“No one will ever suit mo with
an omelette as Mrs. Moody did.
And I’ve got to settle up my
board bill regularly now, or I snail
get a notice to quit It’s a terri
ble nuisance—’enable ! 1 always
meant to many that woman my
self. Bui the unusual man some
how got ahead of me.
The Drunkard .Maniac
Not very long ago at the Bus
san town of N'a a, a, a skilled ar
than named Hhemidl wamleic I
from home on disasleroUf# eeiand
called “on the drink,” leaving his
wife and infant alone without sus
teuMice. /’he mother herself be
ing without the proper nourish,
meat could not long supply flit
infant wish what us small necessi
ties required, and itl last it died
of hunger. The bouse seemed
desolately silent when that smull
voice was bus ed, and soon in
that horrible calmness and gloom
came the muttering voice of the
husband. No more money, and
therefore the old story, to go
bl uttering home and bawl for
supper.
“Where’s my supper - Ito you
hear? Isay, where’s my hu/j
per?’ '‘i
The haggard woman, -prompfed
probably by febril excitement,rose
like u spectre from Ihe bed, which
wain had thrust her and putting
■the einacipaled body of the baby
ou dish, set it befo e her husband
wiib the frightful expression ;
“There is uothing but this.’ The
woman returned to her bed. 'Selim
idt, sat before the corpse, siaring
a 1 it speechlessly, with glassy
eyes. Hours passed, and the
neighbors came in, but still motion
less aud absolutely silent, the
wretched man stared on; nor did
lie do anything but stare, for rea
son had fled, ard he is now a hope
less lnufaic as the Samara Asylum.
True, such horrors do not hap
pen to every tuau who drinks, but
all are in the same slipperv path,
and what has happened to thous
and may happsn to ylut. Linger
not where the wine glitter), nor
were it passed the festai bowl. Its
sequel is too often a broken.
Ignorant foreigner—”l thought
yen called this a republic.”
Washington office holder—“it
is Why do yon ask?”
“I met a” man at the capito!
to to day who said he was a
king,’
“Oh, 1 guess not, You must
have misunderstood him. What
did he say? ’
“Hetaidhe owned a state and
die people all p>‘id fealty to him,
He invited me down to see him.
aud offered me the freemdom of
the ‘whole ranch,’ whatever that
may be. ’
“That does sound big, but i
guess he isn’t a king exactly,”
“//e is very well informed too,
He knows the Prince of \\ ales
and has danced with the Princess
Beatrice. He said the queen wan
ed him to marry the Princess, and
he calls Bismarck “Old Bis,”
“Oh, I koow who he is now ”
“Who is he?”
“Tom Ochiltree, I knew lie
wasn’t a king,’’
“What is he?”
“He’» only a liar.”
Notice post* d bya Dead wood
husband in postoffice: “My wife
Sarah nas Sho; my ranch When I
didn’t Doo a thing Too bur, an - /
want it distinctly Understood hat
any man That takes hnr in an'
keers for hur On my account V\ il
get bisself, you bet, pumped so
Ful of lead that Sum tenderfoot
will locate him fur a Mineral ciame.
A word to ihe wise is sufficient
an’ orter work on fools P
Smith.”
Ji DIN T. WILSON. .In , Publisher.
Ua morons Items.
7’lie man who does not believe
in newspapers is Ihe man who has
fai ed to work his little rackei
through their columns.
Aunt—“lt seems you only vi«it
me when you want money.’’
Nephew—-‘But my dear aunt, I
surely ootYdn’l call more frequent
ly-"
Fluid Extract of auoulyptsngio*
hnlus is highly reccommended in
whooping cough. Shake well
and take one syllable after each
meal.
Lawbooks erenow used in court
rooms simply as ornaments. The
successful lawyer abuses ilte wit
nesses, cries before the jury, his
case is won. 4
A t’hicAgo nmn had to he hanged
before lie could be convinced that
’here was any law in this country
to punish a man for killing It is
wife’s poor relations.
“Oh, yes,” said the Kentucky
man. “We keep a cow and also a
well. We can’t make the puncher
without milk, and a c iw eaut’t get
along Withom water,”
Th" art of never forgetting i s
taught, hya London professor. How
nice ibis must lie for those young
men who never can remember to
repay borrowed rnone y.
■ “Juke you've eaten ten biscuits
for breakfast,” said Farmer Jones
to his voracious hired man. ill
right Farmer,” was Jakes re
joinder. 1 You count and I will
eat."
A member of Legislature who
atended a service at ih« Episcopal
Church was asked how le liked it
audrepl.el : Party well I tiz
tud fell tvitli them every lime.”
“There is nothing irupossil le
j for a determir.ed spirit," says a
philosopher. Evidently to reach
!up lie hind li s shoulder to get
hold of a broken suspender 1 .
If wo mail excused for profaui
' ihe baby ushered into this world
toothless and almost bawl d com
mences to raisey II with a man’s
calulations from the very start,
; and genorly keeps it tip, 100.
A Mormon editor of Salt Lake
City, had the following in a reeen
mi ruber :
“The unkuowr. woman who wps
killed at this place about three
months ago by the ears proves to
be one of the wiveN of she editor of
this paper.
A British and Yankee skipper
were Kuidag side by side, and in
the niufiial chaff’ the English cap.
tain hoisted the Union Jack and
cried out •
“There’s a leg of mutton for
you. The Yankee unfurled the
Stars and Stripes and shouted
bark “And there is she grid iron
which broiled it.”
“What is you Join to be Tom
my, when you dis a man ?’’ “I du
no wh«t. is you doin to be ?” “Why
I'm doin’ to be a livery stableman
so I can ride ill p horse and buggy
every day ” “Oh, I know what
I’m doin’to do! I’a doin’ to b<
a preaoher so can dit chickens to
eat all time an’ poun cake, too.’
“No, Mn'an. 1” exclaimed the
provoked young man to the young
lady, who on the refusal of her fav
orite had asked him to accompany
her to a party ; “I don’t play se
cond fiddle to any one !’’
No one asked you to play so
coned fiddle,” replied the grrl, aridi
a smile; “I only asked you to be
my beau.”
“Yes, my daughter, I wish you
whuuld do your best to captivate
the heart of our coachman, ’
“And slope wiih him, pap#'?”
“Yes. my dear.’’
“Ah! I see, dear, good papa; you
want all the papeis to say that I
am a fascinating beauty aud a
reigning belle.”
“ IFell, of course, that will help
a little, but that's not the main
poirr,’
“ A hat is the main point, pa
<ta? ’
“Well, yon see, the papers will
say you are the daughter of a mill
ionaire.”
“Well?” 1 1
“Well, that will enlarge my
credit. See' 1 Now run ont to
the stable, that’s a good little
girL”
a WI.YXEIT If ERA
OUR.^
JO It DK P. 4 ftTM ENT
IS COMPLETE.
ALL ORDERS FOR
s'/' v • wf:
NEATLY AND
PROMPTLY EXECU-
I ED
Kntcrr'l iiflbe Post flfhot* atLiw-
WlPf'Vlir**, (ill., lif* WfOOUll }|4s llutil
mutter.
NO 45
Items for the Far mars.
A top dress of.siable manure in
winter is a great benefit to lawns
and grass plots
A slop hole at the back door
will make enough doctoi s hills to
drain die farm.
That sheep are the best adapted
of all live stock to assist in renov
n run d iwn farm and increasing
fertility of land U genuerly ad
jyit ed.
There is no certaij rule about
the use of plaster on. In some
situations a Bushel will yield a
ton ; in others it does not. do more
good than so much road dust. It
should be tried in all localilies
where fertilizers are needed.
Peach amt plain stones, if kept
in a cellar during the winter, must
be exposed to freezing before
sproig. The best >vay is to,spread
them on a bed and cover them
with u few inches of earth or tan -
bark and allow them toianiaiu out
all winter.
The Journal of Chemistry slates
that the ant is an active and effi
cient destroyer of the canktr
worms, which feed upon the leaves
and bear them to their nests in
the ground. It is claimed
that they also attack the Army
worm
Tuere is no grass superior to
the Bermuda as pastenigo for
sheep, where climate ard clevatiob
admit of its successful cultivation
From upper middle (leorgiß io
to the Northern limit> of the
S ate, for instance, the cultivated
glasses are successful grown and
afford excellent pasturage through
ought the ) ear.
A Penny lvauia farmer who had
tried various Methods yf keeping
apples, ob aiued ihe best results
by wrapping eacji apple in paper
placing inti barrel and lie i ling it.
He bored holes iu the top and bof
tom, so us to allow a free cireula- ■
tion of air, and laid the barrel up
pon itß side in ts jool a place as
was sufe iront the frost
It will not pay to collect leaves
to be used as manure alone but
there is a profit in gathering them
for other purposes. They are
well adapted to the wants of many
kinds of fruit frees and vines as
an enliviner of the soil. When
composted wile ear.h are excel
lent for young plants, and also
make very good b»d ting for the
sock.
A man entered a photograph
er's and said:
“I want a cabinet picture of my
-elf.”
The ai' l ts' p'acedhim iu position
and Ncrewed up his machine to the
proper focus,
“Now look bright and cheerful,’
he said, “And keep your eye fast
ened on that hole in the wall.”
Instead of looking brignt and
cheerful the man concaved han
sel forward, dropped his jaw ai d
assumed a look of infinite weari
ness.
‘ What is the inader with yon?”
exclaimed the photographer.
“Brace up, I say, aud look pleas
ant. ’
“If fhis position costs anything
extra.” was the answer, “I am
willing to pay for it 1 My wife is
up in the conmry visiting friends,
and 'his picture goes to her, I
know what lam about, Pull the
blankets off. Mr, artist and begin
counting
“Have you got any more tender
steaks like ttiai I bought the oth
er day?” ask»d a man of /lie butch
er.
“Oh yes; plenty. Yon found it
to be good meat, eh?”
( “Yes, suits my purpose. lam
! very much aunoyed by doge at
my houae. I have ch iked one to
j death aud t have my eye ou anoth
er one, Le’ me have a half pound
please.”
Benjamin Freukliu was married
at the uge of 21. He discovered
lightning soon after.
■■■ ■
I ouisvillc, according to the
Evening Time of that city, is ep;
joying the rare nove'ty of an epi
demic of itch.
An experience of sixty y’ars in
dis cold world has convinced me
dat de man who steps between
disputants am mo sartin to git
pulverized dan either one of de
principals,