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GWINNETT ATLAS.
PUBLISHED EVERT WEDNESDAY, BY
TYLER M. PEEPLES,
EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR,
RATES OP SUBSCRIPTION’.
Ooe Copy one year 82 00
One Copy six months 31 00
One Copy three months 50
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as that to which they wish it sent.
LEGAL ADVERTISEMENTS.
Sheriff sales, per levy $2 50
Mortgage fi ia sales, per square... 500
Tax Collector's “ “ “ ... 5 00
Letters of administration 3 00
Notice to debtors and creditors... 5 00
Leave to sell land 5 00
Sale of land, per square 5 00
Letters of dismissioo 4 50
Application for homestead....... 2 00
Estray notices 3 00
ftaS”' Sales of land, by administrators,
executors or guardians, are required by
law to be held on the first Tuesday in the
month, between the hours of ten in the
forenoon and three ia the afternoon, at
the Court-house in the Coilnty in which
the property is situated.
Notice of these sales must be given in
h public gasettc 40 days previous to the
nay of sale.
Notice to debtors and creditors of an
estate must also be published 40 days.
Notice for the sale of personal proper
ty must be given in like manner, 10 days
previous to sale day.
Notice that application will be made
to the Court of Ordinary for leave to
sell land must be published for four weeks.
Citations on letters of administration,
guardianship, &c., must be published 30
days; for dismission from administration,
monthly, three months; for dismission
from guardianship, 40 days.
Rules for the foreclosure of mortgages
must be published monthly, four months ;
for establishing lost papers, for the full
space of three months ; for compelling
titles from executors or administrators,
where bond has been given by the de
ceased, the full space of three months.
Sheriff’s sales must be published for
four weeks.
Estray notices, two weeks.
Publications will always be continued
according to these, the legal requirements,
unless otherwise ordered.
NEWSPAPER LAWS.
We would call the special attention of
Post Masters and our subscribers to the
following synopsis of the Newspaper
laws:
1. A Postmaster is required to give no.
tice by letter, (returning a paper does not
answer the law,) when a subscriber does
not take his paper out of the ofllcc, and
state the reasons for its not being taken,
and neglect to do so makes the Postmas
ter responsible to the publishers for t In
payment.
2. Any person who takes a paper from
the Post-Office, whether directed to his
name or another, or whether he h>s sub'
scribed or n t, is responsible for the |siy.
3. If a person orders his paper discon
tinued he must pay all arrearages; or the
publisher may continue to send it until
payment is made, ar.d collect the whole
amount, whether it be taken from the of
fice or not. There ear, he no legal dis
tontinuance until the payment is made.
4. If subscribers order the paper to be
•topped at a certain time, end the pub
lisher continues to send it, the sub crib or
is bound to pay for it if he takes it out
of the Post-Office. The law proceeds
upon the ground that a man must pay
for what he uses.
ft. The courts have decided that refu
sing to take newspapers and periodicals
from the Post-office, or removing and
leaving them uncalled for, is pnma facia
evidence of intentional fraud.
PROFESSIONAL CARPS.
SAM. J. WINN. WM. E. SIMMONS.
WINN & SIMMONS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Lawrenceville, .Georgia.
Practice in Gwinnett and the adjoining
counties. rar 15-ly
NATHAN L HUTCHINS, GARNETT m’mIU.AN,
Lawrenceville, Ga. Clarksville, Ga.
hutchins McMillan,
ATTORNEY'S AT LAW.
Offices at Lawrenceville and Clarksville.
Practice in the counties of the Western
Circuit, and in Milton and Forsyth of the
Bine Ridge. mar 15-ly
J. N. GLENN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LAWRENCEVILLE, GA.
Will promptly attend to all business
entrusted to his care, and also to Land,
Bounty and Pension claims mar lft-6m
TYLER M. PEEPLES,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LAWRENCEVILLE, GA.
Practices in the counties of Gwinnett,
Hall, Jackson and Milton.
Pension claims promptly attended to
mar 15 -6m
DR. TANDY K. MITCHELL,
LAWRENCEVILLE, GA.,
Respectfully tenders a continuation of
his professional services to the citizens
generally. Keeps constantly on hand a
good assortment of drugs and chemicals.
Prescriptions carefully prepared,
mar 15-ly
A. J. SHAFFER,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
LAWRENCEVILLE, GA.
mar 15-Cra
Weekly Gwinnett Atlas.
BY TYXER M PEEPLES ]
Vol. I.
J. Wiliis, Proprietor. R. H. McDonald * C®., Dniraiiti
* Ova. Agent®, Sen Fnmcisco f Cal.,*ud 34 Commerce St., N,Y
-9HLIiIONB Bear Testimony !• their
Wanderful Curative Kfleets.
Vinegar Bittern are not a vile Fancy
Drink, Made of Poor Ruin, Whiskey,
Proof Spirits and Refuse Liquors, doc
tored, spiced and sweetened to please the taste,
called “ Tonics,’* " Appetizers.” ** Restorers,” dtc.,
that lead the tippler on to drunkenness and ruin,
but arc a true Medicine, mado from the Native
Roots and Herbs of California, free from all
Alcoholic Htimu hints. They arc the
tIRKAT BLOOD PTRIFIER and A
LIFE RIVINCj PRINCIPLE, a perfect
Renovator and Invigrorator of the System, carry
ing offall poisonous matter and restoring the blood
to a healthy condition. No person can take these
Bitters according to directions and remain lony
unwell, provided their bones aro not destroyed
by mineral poison or other means, and the vital
organs wasted beyond the point of repair.
They are a tieutic Purgative ns well
as a Tonic, possessing, also, tho peculiar merit
of acting as a powerful agent in relieving Conges
tion or Inflammation of the Liver, and of all the
Visceral Organs.
FOR FEMALE COM PLAINTS, whether
in young or old, married or single, at the dawn of
womanhood or Bt the turn of life, these Tonic B*t
tera have no equal.
For liilluiHinntory and Chronic Rhea*
mntirttii nnd bom, Dyspepsia or In
digestion, Bilious, Remittent nnd
1. '-miltent Fevers, I)isouses of the
Blood, l.Wer, Kidneys and Bladder,
these Hitters have been most successful. Such
Diseases arc caustd by Vitiated Blood,
which is generally produced by derangement of
the Digestive Organs.
DYISPKI’HI A OR INDIGESTION,
Headache, Pain in the Shoulders, Coughs, Tight*
ness of the Chest, Dizziness, Sour Eructations of
the Stomach, Bad Taste in the Mouth, Biliona
Attacks, Palpitation of the Heart, Inflammation of
the Lungs, Pain in then-pious of the Kidneys, and
a hundred other painful symptoms are the off
springs of Dyapepsia.
They invigorate the Stomach and stimulate the
torpid Liver and Bowels, which render them of
unequalled efficacy in cleansing the blood of all im
purities, and imparting new life and vigor to tho
whole system.
FOR SKIN DISEASES, Eruption*,Tetter
Salt Rheum, Blotches, Sjiots, l' .nples. Pustules,
Boils, Carbuncles, Ring-Worms, S< a!d Head, Sore
Bye*. Erysipelas. Itch Scurfs. Dis olorationsof the
Skin, Humors and Disease;.* of the Skin, of what
ever name or nature, are literally dug up and car
ried out of the system in a short time by the use of
these Bitters. One bottle in mch cases will con
vince the most incredulous of their curative effect.
Cleanse th*« Vitiated Blood whenever you find its
Impurities bursting* through the skin in Pimple*,
Eruptions or Sores; cleanse it when you find it
obstructed and sluggish in the veins; cleanse it
when it is foul,and your feelings will tell you when.
Keep the blood imre, ami the health of the system
will follow.
PIN, TAPE* nnd other WORMS, urking
in the system of so many thousands, arc effectually
destroyed nnd removed.
BOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS.
J. WALKED, Proprietor. R. H. MCDONALD A
CO., Druggists ami Gen. Agent*. San Francisco,
Cal., »«•* aod ftl Commerce Street. New York.
NEW MAP OF GEORGIA.
The undersigned, having just issued,
dow offers to the public, a New Map of
the State of Georgia, exhibiting all the
new counties, county towns, villages, post
offices, and the whole network of railroads,
highways, rivers, creeks and water courses
in the State.
It is a correct, transcript from the rec
ords in the Surveyor General’s office, show
ing the surveyed districts, with the num
bers of the lot of land in the corner of
each, and a complete Check Map for all
portions of the State, surveyed in lots of
490 acres. It also exhibits that portion
of Florida bounded on the South.
Size of Map, 5bx67 inches.
Mounted form 810 ; dissected form 810.
Compiled by James R. Butts, 1859.
Revised and published by A. G. Butts,
Macon, Ga., 1870.
Agents wanted in every county.
Orders will be filled by the editor of
the Gwinnett Atlas (who has one of
these maps at his office for inspection), or
by A. G BUTTS,
ap s—ts Macon, Ga.
EUMELAIS GRAPE VINES,
The Best Wine and Table Crape oj
America !
The subscriber is prepared to furnish a
limited supply of this new and very supe
rior Grape at $1 60 each ; 816 per dozen,
812 ft per 100. It is earlier and more
productive than the Hartford ; hardier and
more vigorous than the Concord, equal in
quality to the Delaware. Superior, as a
Red Wine Grape, to the Norton. Com
petent judges, in every section, have pro
nounced it the best Black Grape and the
best Red Wme Grape of America.
Send stamp for a circular.
THREE SUPERIOR
OOUTHERN SEEDLING STRAW-
O BERRIES,
Southern Excelsior,
General Beauregard, and
Stonewall Jackson.
These varieties are vigorous and hardy,
very large, immensely productive, firm,
•weet and superior flavor. They are, be
yond doubt, the best market and garden
strawberries before the public. Sent by
mail at 84 per dozen, or one dozen of each
for 810.
HENRY A. PRICE ,
Eumelan Vineyard and Nursery,
Central Plains, Fluvanna Co., Va.
mar 29-1 y
Lawrenceville, Ga., Wednesday, August 16, 1871.
[communicated.]
Mr. Editor —l gave you, for your
last week’s issue, the beautiful poem
by Richard Nisbet, the lunatic.
That poem, although very beauti
ful, was considered as wanting in
| evangelical sentiment, and caused
the following equally beautiful poem,
which I cull, and send you, from the
same old ‘‘Casket.’’
Your readers ought to preserve
these for a future day. They will be
equally preuy forty years hence as
; they were forty years ago, when they
t were first published. W.
To Richard Nisbet,
ON SEEING HIS ADDRESS TO THE EVENING
STAR.
| “lam the root and offspring of David,
and the bright and Morning Star.”—Rev.
; xxii.,l6.
j Poor maniac I how I pity thee,
j That thou no other star could'st see ;
And think tbut none but this we need
Man’s*devious, lonely steps to lead!
But, ah ! not even reason’s my
Shall ever cheer thee on thy way !
Behold I in yonder Eastern skies,
A milder, lovelier Star arise,
Diffusing light and joy afar :
It is “ the bright and Morning Star.”
This usbers in a glorious day,
And lights the prlgrim on his way.
“ The evening star of reason ” thine,
“ The bright and Morning Star ” be mine;
Reason may “ lead to that cold clay,
Where ends the wanderer’s earthly way
But o’er the grave this Star shall rise,
And point the pilgrim to the skies.
Oh! lovely “ bright and Morning Star,”
Spread thou thy precious beams afar,
And make the light of truth divine
In every human bosom shine;
Conduct the pilgrim on his way,
To realms of an eternal day.
Be thou my guide, where'er I roam,
And lead me to my heavenly home;
Oh! light me to that blessed shore,
Where friends shall meet to part no more,
(lather all i utions from afar,
And be to them a “ Ruling Star.'
A Touching Obituary.
A disconsolate editor thus bewails
the loss of his wife, and apostrophises
her memoty :
Thus my wife died. No more Will
those loving hands pull off my hoots
and part my hair back, as only a true
wife can. No more will those loving
feet replenish the coal hod anil water
pail. No more will she arise amid
the tempestuous storms of winter,
and gladly hie herself away to build
the fire, without disturbing the slum
bers of the man who doted on her so
artlessly. Her memory is embalmed
in my "heart of hearts. I wanted to
embalm her memory much cheaper.
I procured of Eli Mudget, a neigh
bor of mine, a very pretty gravestone.
His wife was consumptive, and he
had kept it on hand several years in
anticipation of her death ; but she ral
lied that, spring, and his hopes were
blasted. Never shall 1 forget the
man’s grief when I asked him to part
with it. “Take it, Skin nor,” said
he, “ and may you never know
what it is to have your soul racked
with disappointment, as mine oas
been ; ” and he burst into a flood of
tears. His spirit was indeed utterly
broken.
I had the following epistle engrav
ed upon her gravestone:
“To (lie memory of Tabitha, wife
of Moses Skinner, Esq., gentlemanly
editor of the Tromebone. Terms,
three dollars a year, invariably in
advance. A kind mother and ex
emplary wife. Office over Coleman’s
grocery, up two flights of stairs.
Knock hard. We shall miss thee,
mother, we shall miss thee. Job
printing solicited.”
Thus did my lacerated spirit cry
out in agony, even as Rachel weeping
for her children. But one ray of
light penetrated the despair of my
soul. The undertaker took his pay
in job printing, and the sexton owed
me a little account I should not have
gotten any other way. Why should
we pine at the mysterious ways of
Providence and vicinity ? I here
pause to drop a silent tear to the
memory of Tabitha Ripley, that was.
She was an eminently pious woman,
and could fry the best piece of tripe
I ever flung under my veat. Her pick
up dinners were a perfect success, and
she always doted on foreign missions.
Jgr-The editor of tbe Jacksonville
(Ala.) Republican is one of tbe oldest
and most reliable newspaper men in the
South. In a recent number of his paper,
he say* : “ We are gratified in being able,
most candidly and sincerely, to recom
mend this truly valuable and useful medi
cine (I)urby’s Prophylactic Fluid) to our
readers. We have used it in our family
and know how highly it is estimated by
others who have used it”
(“ WHAT IS IT BUT A MAP OF BUSY LIFE ? ”)
Written for the Gwinnett Atlas.
Pen and Ink Sketches~No. 7.
COL. HENRY P. THOMAS.
Col. Thomas was born in Frank
lin county, Ga, on the 25th of
May, 1810. *
He was reared upon his father’s
farm, and when 16 years of age,
was sent to school at Salem, Clark
county, Ga. Afterwards his edu
cation was continued at Frank
lin College.
He graduated at that institution,
along with Howell Cobb, Alexan
der H. Stephens and William H.
Crawford, Jr., in the class of 1832.
After the completion of his col
legiate course, he taught school,
one year, at Ruckersville, in Elbert
county, and among his scholars
was Peter W. Alexander, the cel
ebrated army correspondent in the
late war—whose letters were read
with so much interest by our peo
ple.
In 1835, he commenced the study
of law, under Col. Joscqdi Ligon,
at Watkinsville.
Upon his admission to the bar,
iu 1836, he removed to
ville, with the view of practicing
his profession, and did so, in part
nership with John B. Trippe, who
died lately iu Milledgcville.
On the sth of December, 1837,
he married Miss Ellen E. Bur
roughs, who lived in Columbia
county, in this State, which good
lady yet survives him.
lie was a Lieutenant-C'otonqj of
volunteers in the Creek war of
1836, and served under General
Scott; part of the time was on
General Scott’s staff.
In 1844, Colonel Thomas relin.
quished the practice of the law,
and removed to his plantation on
the head waters of the Apalachee,
where he continued to reside until
the date of his death, which oc
curred at Knoxville, Tenn., on the
29th of November, 1863.
He fell at the head of his brigade,
upon the parapet of Fort Saunders,
atjhe assault upon that strong
hold, pierced by fourteen rifle balls!
He had been wounded early in
the action, in the right arm, but
refused to resign his command.
He was killed while in command
of Cobb’s old brigade—Col. Ruff,
of the 18th Georgia, having been’
killed about five minutes before
Col. Thomas
Col. Thomas held many positions
of honor and trust, having been
Judge of the Court of Ordinary
of his county, and twice mem
ber of the Legislature —once as
Senator, and once as Representa
tive--besides having been a dele
gate to many of the political con
ventions of his party, both iu his
district and State. He was a
member of the Charleston Con
vention, in 1860, and also to its
adjourned sittings at Baltimore,
a month later, and voted for the
nomination of John C. Breeken
ridge, and died defending the po
litical principles he had always
believed to be correct.
Col. Thomas was a man to show
his faith by his works. He was a
strong advocate for the secession
of the Southern States from the |
Union, after the election of Mr.
Liucoln to the Presidency. When
Georgia and the other Southern
States passed their ordinances of j
secession, and Mr. Lincoln made
war upon us, he raised the first j
company of volunteers from
this county—the old “ Hutchins’
Guards”—and was elected cap
tain; and, like Bartow and a
thousand other gallant Georgians,
“ illustrated Georgia ” on a hun
dred battle-fields. He was in the
seven days’ battles around Rich
mond, in 1862—at Crampton’s
Gap, at Fredericksburg, at Chan
cellorsvilte, at Sharpsbnrg, at
Gettysburg, at Knoxville, aod
wherever the battle raged fiercest,
in behalf, and in defence of his
loved South.
I hope I shall be pardoned, if I
give some personal reminiscences,
which I feel may bring the writer
with too much prominence before
the reader. I would gladly dis
connect myself from them if I
could. I only design to speak of
my friend; to point out incidents i
and reminiscences that I hope and
believe will interest his old friends,
even with any connection I may
have with them.
He came to Lawrencevillc when
a young man—only one year out
of college—-with a classical edu
cation, and his prospects in life of
the most flattering character.
The writer of this unpretending
memorial wu3 just grown up, and
six years his senior. Between his
father and mine was an enmity as
bitter as the grave, growing out
of the celebrated “ Patterson law
suit.’’ We met, were introduced
—1 having a prejudice against his
name; he, probably, against mine.
His open, manly face pleased me.
Wo became friends at once, which
grew, on my part, with my years,
(“ I had no cause toliold his friend
ship doubtful,”) and which Con
tinued until he fell on the bloody
field of Knoxville.
We differed in politics from 1840
to 1860; often meeting upon the
stump at the public places in our
county—be on one side, and I on
the other. But no personal ani
mosity or rupture ever occurred
between us; and it is attributable
solely to liis high, noble manliness,
and to no virtue on my part. He
was a noble, high-toned adversa
ry; never making a political dis
agreement a matter of personal
dislike.
'1 he last time I ever saw him
was at his tent in Fredericksburg,
about the liist of 1803. lie had,
a few days before, passed through
the terrible light of the 13th of
December, in which General Tom.
Cobb was killed, lie was ill good
vein, for the Yankees had met a
terrible defeat.
The writer found it important to
borrow a horse, for half a day, to
enable him to accomplish a pur
pose —important to him—iu a
short, space ol tune, to enable him
to get back to Richmond by the
evening train, from ” Hamilton’s
Crossing.”
I applied to Colonel Thomas for
his, and he was brought up and
saddled for me. I was a little
distrustful of his “ old Ball,” for
the boys had spoke, in my pres
ence, of his running away with
the Colonel, a short time before,
when on “ dress parade.”
When brought up, his appear
ance did not seem to indicate a
great deal of spirit, but showed
signs of having seen some service,
and some privations, common to
all his kind, then and there.
1 asked the Colonel if 1 would
need a spur, to which he replied :
“Yes, two of them; one in the
head and one in the heel, and the
one in the head will be worth two
in the heel! ” Ho furnished me
both, and I found both of much
service in enabling me to accom
plish my undertaking—more es
pecially the one in the head !
Col. Thomas may have had his
faults. All meu have them—some
can sec them glaringly in others,
but not in themselves. No mor
tal man has lived who had them
not, and the best man that ever
lived was not free from them.
Even Abraham, “ the Father of
the Faithful,” lied before God, in
representing his beautiful Sarah
as his sister, instead of his wife!
Jacob cheated liis brother out of
his birth right, and his father-in
law out of his cattle, and was a
swindler! David, " the sweet
singer of Israel,” committed mur
der in the case of Uriah, and then j
took his wifet Paul was an un- j
relenting persecutor of the saints J
[s2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE.
No. 23.
of God, even unto death ! I’eter,
a beloved disciple, demon his Lord
—lied in his throat —profaned the
name of his *Master, whom he
professed to serve, and committed
mayhem, by cutting off the ear ol
the high priest's servant!
Col. Thomas w as not a religious
man —did not claim to be —but
was infinitely better than thou
sands who profess to be sucli!
Hu was generous, high-toned,
chivalrous; and manly in the high
est sense of that term!
“ Let liis faults be writ in water ;
Ilia good deeds live in brass ! ”
w.
News Items.
It is announced, says the Chica
go Times, that the Ku-Klux com
mittee propose to ask the Presi
dent to declare martial law in three
counties in South Carolina To
declare martial law in three conn
ties, is just as unconstitutional,
and just as outrageous, as though
it included every inch of territory
in the Union. Nevcrthe ess, mar
tial law in three counties in a sin
gle Southern State will not secure
Mr. Grant’s election. As his nom
ination nnd election were the main,
if not the entire, object sought by
appointing the Ku-Klux commit
tee, is not tho narrowing of mar
tial law down to three counties
a very impotent recommendation
fur the furtherance of the Presi
dential campaign of Mr. Grant?—
At. Constitution,
Gen. McCook, the Democratic
candidate for Governor of Ohio,
has entered Upon the canvass in
that State with vigor and energy.
The Republican press admit that
his audiences aro large, and that
the enthusiasm is great, and it is
very perceptible that his speeches
are having a decided effect.
Mrs. Alexander Hamilton the wife
of Colonel Alexander Hamilton, and
a niece of President Monroe, died, at
New Brunswick, Ne*» Jersey, on Fri
day night.
The Persian minister at London
denies emphatically the reports of
ravages committed hy famine,
plague and cholera in Persia.
Kev. Phillips brooks, of Philadel
phia, lias sensibly declined an honor
ary degree of D. !). It is getting
to he too common.
R. B. McGee, a prominent citi
zen of Tennessee, haa been arrest
ed in New York for passing coun
terfeit money.
Great Men Quarreling about
Bacon and Greens.— Mr. Jefferson,
having invited Patrick Henry to
dine at one of liis aristocratic feasts,
the chef d’aeuvre of his celebrated
French cook, was mortified to find
that the Governor declined to pal take
of each and every one of the elegant
and elaborate creations of the ac
complished French art. At last,
having run through the eartp, the
President begged that Gov. Henry
would say what he would have.
“ I will thank you, sir, for some
bacon and greens,” was the easy reply.
Mr. Jefferson could hardly restrain liis
surprise at so novel a demand, and
begged that the Governor would ex
cuse him on account of liis long
absence from Virginia, for forgetting
there was such r. dish still in demand
among civilized peoplo as “ bacon
and greens.” Mr. Henry never forgot
the reproof, and when lie returned
to Virginia, he denounced Mr. Jeffer
son as a traitor to his “nateml vit
tals.” On the oilier hand, Mr. Jef
ferson left on record liis opinion of
Patrick Henry “ as a man of low
tastes and vulgar associations.”—
New Orleans Times.
Editorial Wit.— We clip the
following from the New York Com
mercial Advertiser, of Friday :
The New Orleans Republican is
sarcastic. Hear it: One of the live
liest newspaper parugraphisU in the
country is Alec. Stephens, of the
Atlanta Sun lie had a squib in his
last issue which was only five columns
long. But Alec is a sharp paragrnph
ist in spite of this sarcasm. Witness
—the Louisville Journal, alluding to
the report that the little man had
gained nine pounds since he was last
weighed, remarked that he must have
had one of his editorials in his pock
et; whereupon Alec keenly retorted :
“If the Journal editor should put
one of his editorials in his pocket,
he’d go up like a balloon.” We have
not had the Journal editor’s reply
yet, but we rather think he won’t
“ go n Alec any better.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
space | 3 mo’s. | 0 mo’s. 12 mo's.
i square ¥ 4 do £ 0 GO $ It) 09
-■••‘id rs « l«l 10 00 15 00
• ! aqr » 800 11 00 20 00
>4 ti l. 12 00 20 00 I 31(0
.. col. 20 00 35 00 i 00 O.i
O-c I. 4i 00 75 j 'Oil Oil
The money tor advertisements Is flue
on the first insertion.
A square is the space of one inch in
depth of the column, irrespective of the
number of lines.
Marriages and deaths, not exceeding
six line's, published Iree. For a man ad
vertising liis wife, and all other personal
matter, double rates will be charged.
WIT AND HUMOR.
An Indian called at a tavern in
the fall of the year for a dram. The
landlord a-ked him two coppers for
it. The next spring, happening at
the same house, lie called for another,
and had to pay tlireo coppers for it;
“llow is this, landlord I ” says he!
“Last fall yon asked me two coppers
for a glass of rum, and now you ask
three.” “Cli,” says the landlord, “it
costs me a good deal to keep rum
over winter. It is as expensive to
keep a hogshead of rum over winter
as a horse.” “ All,” says the Indian,
“ I can’t see through that. He won’t
eat so much hay ; may be he drink
ns much water.”
A newly fledged Philadelphia doc
tor recently settled in Havana, Illi
nois, and tho first case he had was a
boy who, while shdling popcorn, got
a kernel in his windpipe. The doc
tor examined the patient carefully,
looked at the patient’s tongue, and
then told tho father of the boy to
build up a fire. When that was
done, tho doctor told them to take
the twiy and hold him over the firo
until the kernel got hot enough to
“ pop out.” The old man went up
stairs and got the shot gull, but while
lie was loading it the doctor escaped.
“ Now, young people,” said a pro
fossor of natural history to his class—
“ now, then, as to liens: a hen has
the capacity of laying just 600 eggs,
and no more; and she finishes the
job in just about five years. Now,
what is to he done with her after
that?” “Cut off her head and soli
her for a spring chicken!” exclaimed
an urchin whore father dealt in
poultry
A drawing-master, worrying his
pupil with contemptuous •remarks
upon his Isck of ability, ended by
asking l “ Now, sir, if you were going
to draw me, what part of me would
you commence first? The boy, with
a meaning look into his master’s
face, answered Very quietly : “ Your
neck, sir.”
An Indiana paper says; “If t.he
party who plays the accordeon in
this vicinity at night, will only
change his tune occasionally, or sit
where we can scald him when the
engine has steam on, he will hear
of something to his advantage.”
The editor of a Western paper, in
his last issue, says : “ We cannot ex
ist any longer on fine-wood, maple'
sugar and sheep skin*. We bid our
patrons good bye, and offer for sale
two hundred bushels seed potatoes,
slightly frost bitten.”
A man with a moderate appetite
dined at a hotel, and after eating the
whole of a pig, was asked if lie would
not have some podding. He said lie
did not care much about pudding, hut
if they had another little hog he’d'
thank them for it.
“ W liat is your consolation in life
and uoHlh ? ’’ miked a Sunday-school
superintendent of a young lady in
the 'Bible class, who blushed and
said ; “ I’d rather be excused from*
speaking his name,”
“ Arn dose bells ringin’ f«r fire?”
inquired Simon of Tiber us. “No,
indeed,” answered Tibe. “ Dey bab
got plenty ob fife, an’ do beli* am
ringin for water.”
. “ Is your brother-in-law really such
a lazy man?” “Lazy!” was the
: reply. “ Why, he is so lazy that he
has an artist employed by the month
to draw his breath by r efavon ! ’’
A philosopher who married a
mlgar. hut amiable girl, **sed to call
her, “ Brown Sugar,” 1 -.cause, he
saiil, “ She was sweet but unrefine 1.”
The fell w who parts his hair in
the middle wants to g, t married—or
at least we expect so, from the way
i he eyes the young ladies at church.
A Wisconsin man applied for a
divorce on the ground that his wife
had become w.-ak, and “ couldn't
work on the farm as she used to.”
It is not known whether Treas
urer Spinner will return from Europe
soon. His signature is doing as
well as could be xpected.
There is a lad of our acquaintance
who regards hunger and the chasten
ing rod as about the same tiling:
both mako the bey holler.
A contemporary accuses Vinnie
Beam o f being a “designing” woman.
Nornense ! There never was a more
artless young denture.
The man who did not believe in
advertising has gone into partnership
with the sheriff, ami the latter new
does the advertising.
A Connecticut editor unkindly al
ludes to a rivk! editor’s head aa the
Polar regions, because it is a great
white Lure place.