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GWINNETT ATLAS.
PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY, BY
PEEPLES <fc WINN.
TYLER M. PEEPLES, Editor.
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LEOAL ADVERTISEMENTS.
Sheriff sales, per levy $2 50
Mortgage fi fa sales, per square... 500
Tax Collector’s “ “ “ .. . 5 00
Letters of administration 3 00
Notice to debtors and creditors. .. 500
Leave to sell land 5 00
Sale of land, per square 5 00
Letters of dismission 4 50
Application for homestead 2 00
Estray notices , 3 00
Sales of land, by administrators,
executors or guardians, are required by
law to be held on the first Tuesday in the
month, between the hours of ten in the
forenoon and three in the afternoon, at
the Court-house in the county in which
the property is si»uatedi
Notice of these sales must be given in
a public gazette 40 days previous to the
day of sale.
Notice to debtors and Creditors of an
estate must also be published 40 days.
Notice for the sale of personal proper
ty must be given in like manner, 10 tlays
previous to sale day.
Notice that application will be made
to the Court of Ordinary for leave to
sell land must be published for four weeks.
Citations on letters of administration,
guardianship, Ac., must be published 30
days; lor dismission from administration,
monthly, three months; lor dismission
from guardianship, 40 days.
Rules for the foreclosure of mortgages
pßiUMt.be published monthly, four months ;
for establishing lost papers, for the full
space of three months ; tor compelling
titles from executors or administrators,
where bond bus bee -< given by the de
ceased, the full space ot three months.
Sheriff's sales must published for
four Weeks.
Estray notices, two weeks.
Publications will always be c'oirtinned
according to these, the legal requirenru'ifv j,
unless otherwise ordered.
Professional cards.
SAM. J. WINS. WM. B. SIMMONS.
WINN & SIMMONS.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
LAWHP.NCKViI.LE, G KOKfiiA.
Practice in Gwinnett and tin- adjoining
Comities. mar lfr-ly
—— -
Nathan l hutchins, garn'ktt mmim.an.
Lawreneeville, Ga. Clarksville, Ga..
HUTCHINS 4- Me MILL AX,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Offices at Lawreneeville anil Clarksville.
Practice in the counties nl the Western
Circuit, and in Milton uni Forsyth ol the
Blue Ridge. mar 15— 1 y
J. x. GLENN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LAWnENCKVILLK, GA.
Will promptly attend to all business
entrusted to his care, and also to Land,
Bounty and Pension claiitis mar 15-Gm
TYLER - M. PEEPLES,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LAWRSNCEVtLI.B, OA.
Practices in the counties of Gwinnett,
Hall, Jackson and Milton.
Pension claims promptly attended to
mar 15-6 m
DR. TANDY K. MITCHELL,
LAVVRENCEVILLE, GA.,
Respectfully tenders a continuation of
his professional services to the citizens
generally. Keeps constantly on hand a
good assortment of drugs and chemicals.
Prescriptions carefully prepared,
mar 15—ly
~A. J. SHAFFER,
PHYSICIAN And surgeon,
LAWRENCEVTLLE, GA.
mar 15-6 m
DH. T. G. JACOBS,
SURGEON DENTIST,
Being prepared to practice bis profes
sion in all its branches, informs the citi
zens of lawreneeville and vicinity that he
will be at his office in Lawreneeville from
the sth to the 18th of each month. By
prompt attention to business, and reason
able prices, he hopes to secure a liberal
patronage.
ftaS” 1 All work warranted. mar22ly
B. F. ROBERTS,
Attorney at Law,
ILPBARETTA, GEORGIA,
'MI attend to all business entrusted to
bis cVg ; n ihe Blue Ridge circuit; also
i" th'Uounties of Hall and Gwinnett of
the Wkjtern circuit
Corhteted with Col. H. H. Walker
ln Region, Land Warrants arul
Claim against the United States
Government. jnne 14-I‘tn
H/n, IV Holland *t Co.,
AUCTIONEERS and
PRODUCE BROKERS
178 Ray Strew,, Savannah, Ga.
Special attention gVr t . n to sale of Wild
Lands, Meats. Flour, Diy Goods, House
bon] Furniture, Carpets, Ac., Ac.
Cash advances made when required.
r sag l«-3 m
Weekly Gwinnett Atlas.
T. M. PEEPLES; PROPRIETOR ]
Yol. I.
J. Walk**, Proprietor. R. H. McDonald & Co., Dru|tri*U
A Oon. Agents, Sun Francisco,C»l ,aml 34 Couiuiorce St„ N.Y
MILLIONS Bfiir Tmlimony te their
Wttu«terf«tt i'iirKtiic Kffeen*.
Vinegar Bittern are net a rile Fancy
Drink, Made of Poor limn, Whiskey,
Proof Spirits ririil Refuse Liquors, doc
tored, spiced and sweetened to frlc&fle the taste;
tailed Tonics,’* “ Appetizers.” ** Restorers,” icc.,
that lead the tippler on to drunkenness and ruin,
but are a true Medicine, mado from the Native
Roots and Herbs of California, free from all
Alcoholic Stimulants. They are the
(iIIKAT BhOOII I’lltlilKlt nud A
LIFE GIVING PRINCIPLE, a perfect
Renovator and Inviirorator of tlie System, carry
ing off all poisonous matter and restoring tin; blood
to a healthy condition. No person can take these
Bitters according to directions and remain long
unwell, provided their bones arc not destroyed
by mineral poison or other means, and the vital
organs wasted beyond the point of repair.
They nre n Gentle Pit ram live ns well
as a Tonic, possessina:, also, the peculiar merit
of acting as a powerful auent in relieving Conges
tion Or Inflammation of the Liver, aud of all tho
Visceral Organs.
FOR FEMALE COMPLAINTS, whether
in young or old. married or single, at the dawn of
womanhood or at the turn of life, these Tonic Bit
ters have uo equal.
For liillatiimatovy and Chronic Rheu
matism and Gout* Dyspepsia or In
digestion, Oil ions, Kimiittent and
Intermittent Fevers, Diseases of thd
Blood* Liver, Kidneys mid Bladder,
Hitters live been most successful. Such
Da,ien»eM are caused by Vitiated Blood,
w bLh is generally produced by derangement of
thetpigcMtive Organs.
dyspepsia or indigestion,
Pain in the Shoulde.s. Coughs, Tipht
neaildf the Chest, Dizziness, Sour EructAttottn of
theAstoinach, Bad Taste In tho Month, Bilious
Attacks, Palpitation of the Heart, Inflammation of
thfe Lungs, Pain in ther* gions of the Kidneys; arid
h/hundred other painful symptoms me the off
erings of Dyspepsia.
They invigorate the Stomach ami stimulate the
torpid Liver and Bowels, which render them of
unequalled efficacy in cleansing the blood of all im
purities, and imparting ne.w life and vigor to the
whole system.
FOR SKIN DISEASES, Erupt ions,Tetter
Salt Rheum, Blotches, Sjx>ts, Pimples. Pustules,
Boils, Carbuncles, Ring-Worms, 8< a.’d Head, Sore
Eycs,Erysipelas. Itch, Scurfs, Pis ol orations of tlie
Skin. Humors and Diseases of the Skin, of what
ever name or nature, are literally dug up and car
ried out of the system in a short time by the use of
these Bitters. One bottle in si.eh cases will con :
vince the most incredulous of tbtilr curative effect.
Cleanse the Vitiated Blood Whenever you find its
impurities bursting through tho skin in Pimples,
Eruptions or Sores; cleanse it when you find it
obstructed and sluggish in the veins; cleanse it
when it is foul,and your feelings will tell you when.
Keep the blood pure, and the health of the sj stem
will follow.
PIN, TAPE, and other WORMS, urking
in the system of so inatiy thoimndft, are effectually
destroyed and removed.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS.
J. WALKER, Proprietor. R. H. MCDONALD dt
CO., Druggists and Gen. Agents. San Francisco,
Cal., w»4 Mid -A Commerce Street, New York.
A. if- It. Air-Line It. It*
On ami after Thursday, July 6, trains
will run upon this road daily, as follows,
Sundays excepted:
Down Passenger and Freight.
ARRIVE LfcAVK
Gainesville 6:00 am
Flowery Branch .6:41 a m 6143 a M
Buford (breakfast).. .. 7:06 a m 7:29 am j
Duluth 8:10 am 8:15 am
Norcross 8:34 am 8:39 am
Goodwin’s 9:13 am 9:15 am
Atlanta 10:00 a m
Up Passenger and Freight.
ARRIVE LEAVE
Atlanta 3:00 pm
Goodwin’S 3:45 p m 3:47 p m
Norcross. 4:21 p m 4:26 p m
Duluth 4:45 pm 4:50 p m
Bulord (supper) 5:31 p m 5:54 p m
Flowery Brauch 6:17 p m 6:19 p m
Gainesville 7:00 p m
B. Y. SAGE, Eng. anti Snpt.
EUMELAN GRAPE VINES,
The Best Wine and Table Grape oj
America !
The subscriber is prepared to furnish a
limited supply of this ikw and very supe
rior Grape at $1 60 eaCh ; #l6 per dozen,
#125 per 100. It is earlier and more
productive than the Hartford j hardier and
more vigorous than the Concord, equal in
quality to the Delaware Superior, as a
Red Wine Grape, to the Norton. Com
petent judges, in every section, haVe pro
nounced it tue best Black Grape and the
beat Red Wine Grape of America.
Send stamp for a circular.
THREE SUPERIOR
SOUTHERN SEEDLING STRAW
BERRIES,
Southern Excelsior,
General Beauregard, and
Stone Wall Jackson,
These varieties are vigorous and hardy,
very large, immensely productive, firm,
sweet and snperior flavor. They are, be
yond doubt, the best market and garden
strawberries before the public. Sent by
mail at #4 per dozen, or one dozen of eacb
for 810.
HENRY A. PRICE ,
Eumelan Vineyard and Nursery,
Central Plains, Fluvanna Co., Va.
tuar 29-1 y
Lawrenceville, G-a., Wednesday, August 23, 1871.
For the Gwinnett Atlas.
LINES
To Miss F. 8., Conyers, La.
Hark I tbe voice of Jesus calling,
“ Who will gj ami werk to-day?
Fields are white, and harvests waiting,
Who will bear the sheaves riway ?’’
Loud aud long the Master calleth ;
Rich rewards He offers free;
Who will answer, gladly saying,
“ Here am I: send me, send me ”?
If you cannot cross tbe ocean,
And the heathen lands explore,
You can find the heathen nearer—
You can help them at your dooh
If you cannot give your thousands,
You can give the widow’s mite;
Aod the least you gire to Jesus
Will be precious in His sight.
If you cannot speak like angels—
If you cannot preach like Puul—
You can tell tbe InVe of Jestis—
You can say He died for all.
If you cannot rouse tbe wicked
With tbe judgment’s dread hliirhls,
You can lead the little children
To the Saviour’s waiting artos!
Let note hear you idly saying,
“ There is nothing I can do,”
While the souls of men are dying,
And the Master calls for you.
Take the lask He gives yon, gladly ;
Let His work your pleasure be :
Answer quickly, when He calleth,
“ Here am I: send me, send me.”
Written for the Gwinnett Atlas.
The Parents’ Jewel.
It was a lovely day in May<
when all nature seemed to invite
one without to inhale the balmy
air, that a young girl of sixteen,
yielding’ to the delicious influence
of the season, selected a favorite
author, and sought the shady, and
quiet retreat of a small summer
house, where she could commune,
undisturbed, with the volume which
she had brought with her to pc
ruse.
t usie Crayton Wits the idol of
the household —the object on
wh m the fond hope- of both
parents were bestowed. With
what zealous eyes had they
watched her early childho d, atld
how- untiringly labored to improve
her young mind, with proper and
useful impressions, which might
never he erased, but which might
prove a shield of defense in the
hour of temptation, should that
hour ever come.
It was a pleasant duty for Mrs
Crayton—the sacred task of teach
ing her daughter, and of pointing
out to her the path of duty, in
which 6he should walk.
Sncli pure and eminent charac
ters as Ilaunali Moore, Mrs. Sher
wood and others were models for
her imitation.
Day after day, and year after
year, had the loving mother en
deavored to impart to her daugh
ter more attractive graces and
sweeter charms, than Could be re
ceiVed from the gay World of
fashion. Nor were her efforts
fruitless.
Among the many beautiful girls
of M , Susie Crayton was
♦he chief object of admiration, i
who won every heart which came
within the sphere of her influence.
Hers was not a mere external
beauty, with a pretty face, fine
eyes, and a set of white, pearly
teeth —a warm heart, full of noble
and generous impulses, and gush
ing in love; and kindly deeds to
her fellott beings—a heart attuned
to sympathy, with a mind polished
and filled with valuable informa
tion ; these were Susie’s accom
plishments, which reudefed her
beautitul, and the object of so
much regard. She was also a
sweet performer on the harp, and
her touch gave forth a geutle
melody, which went directly to
the hearts of her listeners, like
the soft notes of the Julian lyre.
Susie Craytou was the child of
wealth, and every desire of her
heart had always been gratified,
i Life to her was a perpetual scene
lof sunshine, and she heard no
(“ WHAT IS IT BUT A MAP OF BUSY LIFE ? ”)
sounds, save the sweet notes of
birds, as they warbled their goti
tie strains of melody through the
groves and the green meadows.
To Susie all nature was but a
bright panorama, embellished by
the pencil of tbe great Artist,
with majestic mouritains—with
loveiy streams, chanting music ad
they hurried on their way to be
lost in the great Ocean. In sitch
a beautiful world, so full oF the
melody of birds, of ihe delicious
perfume of flowerS, with kind
friends to cheer us by their smiles,
how Can one be unhappy,
sad, arid despondent! As if the
sun never shone to gladden our
llbitrtS; as if there were no flow
ers to refresh us by their fra
grance; no grand mountains, noi
peaceful Valleys, nor luxuriant
forests, nor splendid landscapes
to vary the monotony of the scene!
How can one be gloomy, when all
around is so joyous, and a thou
sand tongues were offering up
thanksgivings to the Bountiful
Benefactor ! Pious reflections were
there, which filled tlie mind of the
gentle girl, and which influenced
all her actions. She had never
known sorrow from her own ex
perience, yet she knew how to con
sole—and who could tell how many
were the children of poverty, into
whose hearts she had sent sun
shine. But the scene changes—
fortune is fickle!
Only two years have winged
their flight, but what changes
have taken place in the quiet little
village of M ?
Mr. Crayton is dead; died a
bankrupt, and left his family in a
destitute condition.
His fine residence, with all his
real estate, was seized for debt,
and Mrs. Crayton and her daugh
ter; with heavy hearts, took leave
Of their dear and much loved
home—once so happy and bright,
in days of prosperity—for an
liiimble and obscure cottage, in a
lonely part of tlid village.
The voices and merry laugll of
friends are never heard now, with
in the walls of that little and ob
scure cottage on the hill; and the
hearts < f a sad and afflicted Widow
and orphan daughter are never
made glad now, as in days of
yore, by social converse. All—
all have fled with the glittering
pomp, purchased by wealth.
The birds sing as sweetly as j
ever they did in the groves and i
meadows; the sun shines as bright,
and the voice of nature is not
mute—and to the orphan girl that
voice Still speaks to her sorrowing
heart, but in gentle accents—
whispering the solemn words of j
Inspiration, “vanity, vanity; all j
is vanity. Alas! She had turned
a deaf ear to its whisperings,
only to wake too soon, and to find
that everything was indeed illu
sive and full of deceit! That thp ;
dearest friends were only friends i
iu prosperity, who cared no more
for a poor orphan girl, now home
less, and bowed down by sorrow
and poverty.
Ah! It was a bitter lesson—
this first lesson Horn the experi
ence of life, which the tender girl
had how to learn. ‘‘ But it is
well she murmured.” that I should
learn it, and that I should drink
the bitter cup its dregs. It
might have proved my ruin; but
the bright and gaudy colors to the
picture of life, which so allured
me, and so charmed my senses by
its brilliant and empty baubles,
have all melted away, and left me
j alone with the reality.
Never again will 1 yield to the
deceitful charm!
It was a lovely night, as Mrs.
I Crayton and her daughter sat iu
I the little verandah of their hum
ble home.
The moon was full, clothing
every object in a robe of silvery
light, while the mournful notes of
the whippoorwill sounded clear
and shrill upoti the night air.
As they sat and looked out upon
the scene before them, both were
silent alii busy with the thoughts
df the past.
“Dear mother!’’ eiclaimeu
Susie, as if divining the theme of
her mother's thoughts. “This will
not always be our home. You
know I Can teach; and in a few
years tfe Will be able to leave
M and to purchase a little
home where we can once more be
contented. I have already spokert
for a situation in a school, and
will know the result in a few days.
So be cheerful, dear mother, and
do not give way to despondency
and to gloom! ”
“ My precious child ! ” was the
response. “ How can I let you
go away, to toil and struggle for
me?—you who have never known
sdrroW nor grief, nor any carel—
How 1 have prayed to our Heaven
ly Father, that He might spare
you those bitter trials; y et, if it
must be, I trust lie will sustain
you through the ordeal, and ena
ble you to triumph.”
‘ Have you forgotten, dear
mother,” said Susie, “your early
lessons to your daughter—never
to be ashamed of work, ashamed
of the poor, nor ashamed to do
good? Thanks to you, my dear
mother, • 1 have none of these
small vices! ’ If wealth tills me
with pride so as to make me scorn
the poor, then I have no desire to
bo wealthier than 1 am now.—
Poverty is no disgrace, dear moth
er. There are many noble spirits,
pining away in solitude —shut out
by this cruel barrier—who would
become, if allowed a chance, bright
and useful ornaments to society.
Oh! when will the world cease to
persecute the pc’e’r —cease adding
fresh grief to their already over
flowing cups of bitterness?”
“ My dear daughter,” ejaculated
Mrs. Crayton, “ you are, indeed, a
JeWel—So noble, and so different
from y filing ladies of yotrr owe
age. You are correct in your
views; a bright path lies before
you—if not one of worldly honor
—one in which you will have the
approving smiles of conscience,
and the sweet satisfaction that
you are doing your duty, dud at
the same time ministering to the
wants of the needy.”
A iew days after this conversa
tion between Mrs. Crayton and her
daughter, a gentleman Ctllled at tlifi
little cottage on the hill. He de
sired to see Miss Susie Crayton a
few minutes alone.
The gentleman proved to be
Mr. Browning, one of the trustees
of the school, of which she had j
applied for teacher. “He had j
the pleasure,” he said, of inform
ing Miss Crayton that she had
been unanimously elected teacher,
with a salary of 700 dollars; and j
they desired tha‘, she would enter !
upon her duties one week from
that time, lie further stated, that
Mrs. Browning was in delicate
health, and would be glad to se
cure the services of Mrs. Crayton
no a kind of superintendent in the
household, with a salary of 500
dollars. Such was the purport of j
Mr. Browning’s mission to that
humble cottage on the hill.
Once more did the hearts of the
widow and her daughter throb
with bright anticipations for the
future. Grateful emotions, too,
filled their hearts towards their
kind benefactors.
Six years have passed, and Mrs,
Crayton is now the wealthy Mrs.
Browning, and Susie has become
the wile of a prominent member
of Congress. But she is the same
gentle Susie still —the same prince
less Jewel, doing good and speak
ing words of consolation and
sympathy wherever she can find
! a heart depressed by sorrow.
[s2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE
No. 24.
The Parents’ Jewel is now the
jewel ot the household. In every
walk of life she followed bloSely
the teachings of go >d and wise
parents, until she has become a
bright and shining light to socie
ty, whose praises are on eVe'rj'
tongue. The seeds sown in youth
germinated well, and have brought
forth many golden fruits, that Cun
never wither through all time.
Uncle Samuel.
m• • m
Caution To Liquor Sellers. —
A few days ago; at North Adams,
Mass.; tlie StUtb UottstaMe seized
ajar df rum and arrested the par
ty in whose possession it was
found, for selling intoxicating li
quor. At the examination before
the District Judge he swore and
testified that lie had seized tlie
liquor, aud made a detailed state
ment of the facts. lion, bhepnrd
Thayer, attorney for the prisoner,
asked liitil it he knew it was liquor.
He replied, “ Yes, it was rum.”—
lie was then asked how he knetv
it was rum, and lie replied that
he drank s. me of it. The pri
soner, who was a woman, was
then culled as a witness in her
own behalf, when the following
questions and answers were put
and received :
Q. Did you have any liquor in
your house when the State Con
stable called there?
A. Yes— I had some iu ajar.
1 1 llow long have you had it?
A. About six months.
Q. Did you have it to sell?
A. Oh, no. 1 don’t sell liquor.
Q. What did you have this rum
for?
A. I kept it to wash the baby.
Q. Had you ever washed the
baby in this rum?
A 0, yes, olten! I used to turn
somoout in a dish, wash the baby
in it, and then turn it back in the
jar again.
Q Do you mean to say that tills
was the same liquor of which the
State Constable drank?
A. The very same.
There was great laughter in the
court, and the State Constable de
clared lie would seize no more
liquor that was kept in a jar. He
is about the only man in North
Adams that will take offence if
yon ask him to take a drink.
Death or Da. O’Keefe.— Th*
sad intelligence of Inis event
reached the city yesterday, crea
ting a general expression of sor
row Dr. O’Keefe had a host of
Warm friends, to whom his untime
ly death is a grievous dispensa
tion of Providence. But upon
the widow and large family, left
to b ittle alone the exigencies of
life, falls the stroke of fate with
agonizing effect; and to them wo
tender oiir most heart felt condo
lence. •
Dr. O'Keefe was a physician of
line ability, ranking, without ques.
tion, among our first. He was a
prominent and active member of !
our city government, during a j
period, in which great progress ,
was made in essential reforms
and improvements. He was the
leader of the public school move
ment, and ever took ttu active,
vigilant part in advancing the in
terests’of the city.
But he is gone—an energetic,
useful citizen, and an affectionate
husband and father. The physi
cians of the city and many other
citizens will testify their respect j
this morning by following his re- j
mains to the grave. — At. Consti- \
tution, 10 th.
X-*T The Wytbeville (Va.) I)is
patch relates the following incident;
*• Not far from us a young lady at
tempted to leave the parental man
sion, at dead of night, by lowering
herself from her chamber by means ,
of a pulley and a rope fastened to a
window. She had just reached the
ground, where her lover awaited her,
when her enraged sire appeared,
seized the young man, fastened the
hook to his pants, and raised him
skywards, leaving him dangling in
the air until morning. The elope
ment is postponed indefinitely.”
se&~ A fafl of black rain occurred
last month near Worcester, England.
It poured down like ink for a
quarter of an hour, covering sheep
and other animals in the fields with
an adhesive substance as black as
•oot. No explanation lias been given.
—
Let those of our readers in search
of a cosmetic give Darby’s Prophylactic
j Fluid u fair trial, lor it* virtues for this
' purpose are much extolled on every elds.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
stack 3 mo’s. 6 mo’s. 12 rao’a,
i square » 4 „U ; * 6 OU "dIOO'I
'•i eq'rs ti 00 10 00 15 00
3 sqr's 800 | 14 00 20 00
l d cel. I” I*o I 2o 00 ! 3.7 CO
V t 00 j 35 no j t;,l on
O■ f i.. j, )•> 00 I 15 (l } :--o ( »
The money for advertisements is due
on the first insertion.
A square is the spare of nr,e inch ill
depth of the column, irrespective of Ihe
mini her of lines. ,
Marriages and deaths, not exceeding
six lines, published tree. For a man ad
vert i.sing hit* wife; ami all other personal
matter, double rates wifi be feharged.
WIT AND HUMOR.
Janesr ;l le, Win., is noted for its
smart bovs. The latest story is told
ol a youth of six summers, who was
taken to task by his aunt for some
supposed offence, whi 1 lie persist
ently denied. “ Now, Johnnv,” said
she, “ I know you are not telling nte
the truth; I see it in yotireie.” Pull
ing down the lower lid of the organ
wfiich had well nigh betravtd his ve
racity, Johnny exultantly replied;
“You can't leil anything about it,
hunt; that eyS Wall always a lit le
streaked.”
Tlie newest (Jiiicagonese method
of getting ho honest living, according
to a local authority. “ i« to go round
at night with an tfCcbtiiplh e and plav
To'in erit (fhdisr the windows of iras
cible bachelors. They throw hoots
and boot-jacks, and hair brushes, and
crockery rind—and things at you,
and you pick them up and sell them
ffrr old rags. YVe got part of a bed
rdotn Set worth if<7 50 last night, and
to night we are going back to get
the rest of it.”
“Good morning, Mr. SitJitu. On
the sick list to day ?” Ye», sir; got
the ague.” “Do you ever shake?”
“Yes, shake fearfully.” “When do
you shake again ?” “Can’t say when ;
shake every day. Why do you ask?”
“Oh, nothing in particular; onty /
thought if you shook so had, I’d like
to stand by and see if you wouldn’t
shake the five dollars out of your
pocket which you have owed me so
long.”
(In one of the late terrible hot
days, a little boy of three years and
a half, who was perspiring very freely,
tan in (0 his mother, saying, “Oh,
ffiamma, l’s leaking all oter!” Tlie
same little fellow, on another occa
sion, had the misfortune to cut his
finger. It hied profusely, and he
went to his grandfather, crying bit
terly, and asking him to “tie it up;
the juice is all coming out!”
At a Sabbath-school concert in a
tfrtfwtied and popular church, the
pastor, who prided himself upon the
quickness and cleverness of his little
ones, said: “Boys, when I heard
your beautiful s»mg to night, I had
to wort hSfd to keep my fefit still ;■
now, what do you think was tlie
trouble with them ?” “Ohilhlainth !”
shouted a little chap of six, or there
abouts.
Two mothers were boasting of the
achievements of their respective ‘only 1
children. Said one : “My son blew
out the candle when he was only
seven months old !” “Ah !” replied'
the other: the bov that, blows out
ihe candle at seven months wii-1 never
set the world on fire!”
At a Sunday school in Ripon a
teacher asked a little boy if he knew
what “sowing lares” meant. —
“ Cousth I does,” said he, pulling
the seat of his little trowsers round
in- front. There’s a tear my
sewed , f Beared it sliding down the
hill.”
At a recent Sabbath-schtfol con ■
cert a little boy stood up to say his
“ piece,” and, forgetting the words of
the teJM, hesitated a moment ; then,
with all the assmai ce possible, Skid i
t Blessed are the shoemakers !”
A widower iu Terre Haute, Ind.,
offers to many any young, amiable,
beautiful and accomplished girl, who
will take care of his house, keep his
children clean, and let him alone
A man recently died at PittshiVfg,
ami in his will, after stating that ho
never forgot a favor, left #IOOO to an
individual who, ten years before, ran
away with his wife.
The young lady who unrig, “ I wish
somebody went I come,” Iris had her
desire gratified. Eleven country
cousins have Tr?'rvcd and intend to
stay all summer.
In Nashville, a lawyer smashed a
bottle of ink over the judge’s head,
whereon his Honor promptly kno ked
him down with Siarkie on Evidence.
An ol>l lady being asked to sirb
-1 scribe for a n«wfpa|>er, de lined on
1 the ground that when she wanted
new* she manufactured it lieraelf.
Of the 1,001 young ladies who
fainted last year, 908 fell in the arms
of gentlemen, two fell on the floor,
and one into a water buck<Sf.
Mrs. Abbott, of Janesville, threw
; herself into a river last week. Her
husband was in the Abbott of getting
drunk.
A man in Kansas, on whose shoul
der a lady laid a lash, didn’t sue for
1 damages, because it was an eye-lash.
A barber who was sued ty a young
mart for cutting off bis moustache,
put in the plea that he didn’t see it.
In Chicago you can thrash your
mother-in-law for $75. ./