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About The weekly banner. (Conyers, Ga.) 1900-1901 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 27, 1901)
FiRST PAGE FOR SPEECHES. Rivalry AsnoiiB Congressmen Fo* A Good Position In The Ilecord. The effort that is constantly being made to secure the printing of speeches on the front page of The Congressional Record is not generally understood. Senators and representatives naturally desire to have their deliverances iu congress receive as much attention as possible, and there is but one publica¬ tion in which they can monopolize the front page in a display ef their speeches. That one publication is The Record. printed Of course speeches that are j u regular order in the debate, ap¬ , pearing. on the day after they are de¬ livered, are to be found only iu their regular place in The Record. Cut. ia the eases of speeches withheld tor re* | vision there is an opportunity to have them displayed on the first page of the official report of the proceedings. This is merely.-done by an arrangement be tween the,senate and bouse by wbicit this privilege is about equally divided. Senators and representatives who withhold their remarks for revision frequently inquire when they can have the first page of The Record, which Is generally reserved for at least a week ahead. Q he general rule is. “First come, first served." In this way those who want to make their speeches influential will at times arrange 10 have them on the first page of The Record on the morn¬ ing of a day when a vote is to be taken, in order that they may be brought prominently to the attention of their fellow legislators just before tlitv are to take action on the matters of which they treat. it is ia the ua turo of judicious advertisement.— Washington Star. ' _ Lincoln Couldn't Da It. “When i was in Springfield. Abra¬ ham Lincoln and General Baker, who was killed at Leesburg, Vn.. during the civil war, made the race for the Whig nomination for congress.” said Dr. l>. B. Hill. “Both were Wliigs, and both were keen for tho nomination. Both had a strong personal following, and If both ran the Democrat would win in the district. So a primary election wns necessary to settle the contest. Baker won. Both men were at Springfield when the news came. Lincoln was de¬ pressed. The crowd to cheer him up calk'd on him for a speech. Getting up. he said: ‘Gentlemen. I’d like to comply with your request., but I can’t make tv speech now. 1 expected to re¬ ceive the nomination, but 1. failed. If 1 had won, I know Baker would have got up ben* and so charmed you with his eloquence as to make you believe you had done .him a favor by nominat¬ ing uie. But J can’t do it.’ ’-—Argonaut. They fte.l t'l?a« Often, The brad inusleV in a boarding school la Sheffield In very particular about the behavior, of his scholars during meal¬ times. A short time ago the master ob¬ served. cue of tiie boys cleaning bis knife on the tablecloth and immediate¬ ly pounced on him, "is that what you generally do al bot’ie. sir?" he asked sternly.' "Oh. no." replied the boy quietly. “We generally Use clean knives nt liotue.”—Louden Fun. Sispcii-t&tive. ‘'There’s a lucky, man for you!" "How's that?" “W'iiy. he's got a butler so dignified that he even-awes the cook into sub mission.'”—Exchange. The native dress of tho better class ef htpsniese. of .both sexes is a loose V'r.-pper. open nt the chest and at the tv?, lit confined by a girdle. Munster, Germany, has a high school v" VI] has been in existence 1,100 )'e;::s. TSic Prnyor R? Didn’t Mako* t’.i a certain parish hear Dumfries, Pro:'and, a newly made elder was sum SKihetl to tiie sickbed of a parishioner. Being naturally n Pushful man. he was la great anxiety fls to the “prayer he vo: ! ba’e to pit up" and wished to are: j going alfogcther. At length he v-'as persuaded by his wife and start e<l on his errand. On his return his w;r;> greeted him with the query: ‘‘And how did ye get on, William?" "Oh, grand! He was deid." ♦ Hotel Life. ■Tr.: !:son—What time do you wake ui in t::■ ■ morning usually? J.UiSon—Four o’clock. “Great snakes! Why so early?” ‘‘I hoard at a hotel, and that’s the he:"' the man in the next room goes to bod.”-New York Weekly. In every home there is trouble Sun- 4a.v m truing in finding t he man’s clean uncL; v, ear.—Atchison Globe. T ■ life of an Australian native Wm • f ftceeds 50 years. L a man says something affection- 6 *( '••• -tits wife in public, she forgive* r ;; !' r ail tiie mean things he has 2* -a private ia ten years.—Atchison a An Irish lecturer, upon being Intro c his audience, said. “Ladies ami -: h-nsen. before I liegin to speak -h ta say.a feu words.” F- rimiert! statistics a German ! !V - : t has deduci’d that property rights ail kinds are respected more • slag!-,- by the married than by the The '• -.rlnaw river, in Michigan is Sfl !,«i ‘ Lug. and on Us banks have hi-,.;, L ’need 18.000,000,0 t J0 feet of p:uc in Is 1 1 tvho lives for himself alone v • : o neglected by the world at U. O U M-.ago News. ii ~vr I -eAtf* t / M C _A.. II a 4 TLi bawwawiBW I be i mm b fc — w p , i I \ I I / ( taS 'WW’Si ! M / ' f n - A •wwsi 9 PKMt n Mil \n h. am ) --M fk-jv * \ ( * f* priv-rf | $ ip n ,< my KTiri -t J»». a '* h. fo.vx IWWM ' = V iJlWK t\ J L* \ »*/«*» » V. '**>*.; , V A pNSAAflUf jw.-* mmm " V £ rV £t.? im 1 I l y barm* i | ft*,* Ouem M .-v. r am* v i ? i n > \ » f&svm' It?; s L. * | ■* KA M ^ I 1 v fegk ( »' "* pffUK*** nnvd i AXVM. s 8 ipyt; imn* *» ' f s M ia V v ? > ihq; K. * O i h t i I--- 4. Q V * G i. worn t*uv i iMiarm VII! * I i ^ ! I h ti bsnfRk * r»- Cl- *1 \' r pil(l ft 1 1 * 1 'ST W •»- >• v i.r-y.li it# * tm ' mm ! 0 Ft'S tom ’■fcdE^ , ^ | j % juv m i *' Ik * tfi e f Of sell, trade £ jL 11 11 vl J.! "S YOU » O'** fijSKii o V, or a y r ' L , phased Hill fetly O i m * *• itamm WI ***** >e to talk h ^ 9 . \\ * || til yc u you de either, 8ee me X ' ][1 ^VO/Vq ” i V *V«- La mV n \ / y 9 Q old stand. p, V. iC ; KING Paiito a s a Baaas™ 0=1 T ■- i opairing. ■ . ■ rJ g ■ BWwisrvV" When you com§ to town again bring along that old wagon or buggy and liavo vn ■A.,*.-5. a v> make a new one out of it for you at a very smai i cost to your purse. I can do you a nice job of painting or rep-king as nice as you coul d desire and I thank the people tor past patronage and am better prepared now than ever to p’ease you. Try me and be pleas ed- Geo, M, Langford. ■ MW ML—. * See T w- M ■ MT- iM" B, ? BAWER FOR fj TfVQ > V/iJ CAPITAL MONUMENT CO. D A V1 V, S & N E RI, M AN AG E118 ' G14 EM T:E COURT. BELL.’PHONE 2239. I iTLANT A, GA. MONUMENTS. Granite and MarBie Work of Every Description. Mail orders giv 3 ii prompt, attention L PATE iflfc ar £ i ill il ■—■mi in III ________ sending sketch and description . . 1 Our fee returned if we fail. Any one pateW- any invention will promptly receive our opinion free concerning the ability of same, “How to obtain a patent” sent upon request. Patet# ’ secured through us advertised for sale at our expense. Patents taken out through receive special notice without charge, V. us , Tiie Patent Record, an illustrated and widely circulated journal, consult*, by Manufacturers and Investors, Send for sample copy FREE. Address, VICTOR dL EVMNS & GO., {Patent Attorneys,) <B-~ £i fans Building? as WASHINGTON, O. 50 YEARS’ EXPERIENCE i T 11 JTf.ads fiflfiSKS Designs r .... Ccpyrishts Si c. Anrone sending a sketch and d-rscrtfttt.w maj q-.tlckly iiiTentlon ascertain ©nr ©|.ici«m free Conrai,nv-k whoUier m Unnsstrictirconadontla!. le probaV.j ©ntemabte. Handbook ateiua on , sent free. Oldest scene? brooch for Jlunn seeming H Lo, patents. rccolvs Patents taken t ' ia the tpreial notice, trithout ebarae , Scientific flffljrtcan. SUStmSB Gntert@fim<g ifflfe«faHK<g. <3 Efil t an : spared to give proirpt sail: ctory attention to all wic i need my services 3 i; r o f Unde-tfiking goeds c< -Icie. I H r -’s furnished without trn charge. V. h LM A N ]). Office Afmand Hardware Co's City Church Directory. Baptist. Tiie Bajitists hold services on the 1st and 8rd Sunday by the pastor Rov. Mr. Grahan*. Sunday School at 9:30 a- m. Prayer meeting on Wednesday night in each week. METHODIST. Tho Methodists have services eve y Sunday in each numtli by the pastor. Rev, Mr. Troutman, .'•'uiidnv Folio- I ev-.ry Sunday morn ing at 9;80 o’clock, Pnivfermeet ng every TiWbiy nt^hh, Am! the Epwonh League meets every Sun lay afternoon. rm-wnYTEuiAN. The PresnyteriaiiB hold services ■>1) the 2in! and 4th Sunday in each month. Sunday school at 9;80 a. m. Pruyermeeting every Thurs !ay night. 5LL I Bible Christians, The Bible Christians have the 2nd Sunday in each month to hold services. Rev. Mr. lla.rmon is the pastor. Sunday school at 10 o’¬ clock a. m. I'l’nyernU'dlihff c* 11 Wednesday night in each week. r . V . V-AqciWvtys, : DENTIST. m CONYERS - G BORGIA. Work guuantecd. Prices reasonable. Teekliext Dieted with 5ut pain or bad affects, by use of iutrous ox de gas. (Laughing-gas) Over 00,000 administrations with¬ out a single dangerous symtom. OHice over post office. F. T.- Hopkins, D. D. £ THE GEORGIA RAILROAD For information as to Routes, Schedulesai\d rates, both passERgEf and preight, write t * either of the undersigned . You will receive prompt reply and reliable information C.O.McMillin, A. G. .Tacks; n. T. P. A. a. r. a AUAUSTA, GA . S. E. Magill, C. J). Cox Gen’l Agt. Gen’l Agt,. ATLANTA, ATHENS, .V. W. Hardwick, W. C. McMillin Gen'i Aszt. C. F. A P. A. MACON. MACON M. R. Hudson, \Y. \V. McGovern. T, F. & P. A. Gen’l Agt ATLANTA, AUGUSTA CAS5TOHIA. B*arr me LkiJfind You Have Always te# tl%DHture at A TVild (tide. U iea , 1 ' Vi,s V0 “«S <?r than , 1 * 1U • ever ne again.’’ said the professor with a throe story born! and eyeglasses of the telescopic order. "1 was the victim or , such intense mental abstraction . that 1 removed myself entirely from the world of practical affairs, f was in the boundless realms of thought and paid but fleeting attention to the active fir’d of hitman action. It was neces sary to notify me when I should attend my classes, eat my meals and even wbon I should retire. “I was at one time requested to lee tore in a New England village 'and agreed to do so. The theme was one that had received m.v best thoughts, and the mere prospect of delivering it was a physical pleasure. When I ar rived at the depot my thoughts were concentrated upon the prepared ad¬ dress. I realized (hat my train was an hour late and that I must hurry, but beyond the mere fact of hurrying 1 did not grasp a detail. “ ‘Drive fasti’ I shouted to the driver of a dingy looking vehicle as I sprang in and handed liitn a $5 bill. ‘Spare neither horse nor whip.’ “Away wo went with a plunge. The carriage rolled like a ship in the trough of the sea. Street lights seemed a torchlight profession moving rapidly by the other way. Constables shouted, dogs barked, small boys chased us and business ceased that people might stand on the sidewalks and gaze. Up one street and down another we dashed ma liy. We tool, corners on two wheels, grazed telegraph poles and knocked over such movables as ash barrels and dry goods boxes. •‘After half an hour of this bewilder¬ ing experience I stuck my head out of the window and shouted, ‘Are we near¬ ly there?' “ ‘Where did yez want to go. sir?’ came the edifying answer.”—Washing¬ ton Star. The Darte and the Artist. rails is laughing over bow an artist got even with a dude who. having sat for ids picture, was so dissatisfied with the result that lie refused to pay for it. The Count de X. recently had a crayon picture of himself made, which he afterward pretended to find fault with. blance Tit does not bear the slightest resem¬ to me." be said, "and I will not take it.” The artist protested, but all to no avail. “All right, monsieur." lie remarked finally, “if it is not at ail like you, of course 1 can't reasonably ex¬ pect to get paid for It." After the count had gone tiie painter added to the portrait a magnificent pair of ass’ ears and exhibited it to the gaze of the curious public. It had not been long so exposed when the count broke Into the artist’s studio in a lowering rage and, finding that threats availed him nothing, at last offered to buy it at a considerable advance upon the original price. “It was not strange that you failed to recognize your resemblance to the picture at first." said the painter, de¬ termined to be revenged for the slight pui upon his work. “But i knew you would notice the likeness as soon ns j added those cars." tie w«a lie was a big. r. may workingmen, and when a spare. : .■:■ iiltle man en¬ tered the train tdr, stumbled and sat upon him he said in reply to the little inan’s apologies: "Don’t trouble, sir; it’s nil right. There’s no ’arm done.” When we saw the big mail a week later, we were shocked at the change in ldm. lie seemed to have shrunk to half his former bulk. "Why. wlnilever's the matter?" we exclaimed. "You remember that little man wot Eat on me in the train last week, sir?" “Yes.” “Well, it's all through ’im I'm wastln away like this’." “Preserve us!" we cried. “How? Why?" hands The shrunken giant wrung his in despair. groaned, “1 found out nox't day," he “that ’(> was Dip coroner. An V sat on me! i’m slniperstislms. an it’s lookin ahead I am. Oh. Lor’!"—London Mail. How Slip Spilled the Question. The question of precedence at dinner and at social functions at Washington Is a weighty one in official circles, but once upon n time there wns a western senator whose wife thought very lignt ly on this subject. She svns in Wash Ington for a good time, and siie re¬ solved to have' It. without bothering about precedence. • This fearless little woman gave a dinner on one occasion, and when it wa s time to get her guests from the drawing room into the dining room she said: "There is some precedence abcut all this, but 1 don't know what it is. Just shoo out to dinner, every one of-you, and sit down anywhere you please." This stroke of western diplomacy worked perfectly.—Exchange. A Good Runner. “Hello, hello! Is this the gas com¬ pany's office?'’ “Yes; what is it?” "When do the entries for the next race open?” the “We don't know anything about tacos. This is the gas office.” 1 “Correct; but I thought you could tell me.” “Why what do von want to know ‘ for? „ "Oh. nothing particular. I have a gas meter I would like to enter, that’s all”—Tit-Bits ’fritjmph of Tlirlft. "The old man seems mighty pleased With himself,” said Mr. Grindner’s coachman. “Sure.” said the cook. “He’s been saving all his burned matches for six mouths, and this morning be found he bad enough for me to start the kitchen gre with.”—Indianapolis Press. T!! ° "Dd the Gasnini5.tr fTp. At a Unvyci iV.i'.iH r in T'- alo one . of tin* l est a,os was of Squire Murray, wie, w.>l-t M .<{ 55 pounds and who hern in Ireland, was in the whisky business lier» ; i p, ?,] |,< a court or, the Terrace. The courtroom bench was bice a : j : , i :v ! nn the" .{_ ‘ floor" t}/ 3 war sivr feet from with a cj;:', v .-i,. . .. ... t .,,g ceiling, tvliuining.j ' ■‘'•'■■••a - were ail .,> n> Mr. r-r ■ d and Judge i; out a ease before i! firry. .• • :; u > ,, ,.. 0 ‘’Do • .. wi- h to emu he naked. i leav.* it r;: with year honor.” said Mr. Lookwo .vers with a :: ’•> j-r.uro j>;nl friendly face (tn the 1 1 1 c!t to ; 1 !!■:■ wise. “idi sum up.” said dad; V Beckwith. A ! ‘ : 'y wedf rrj-.fled Squire Murray. \,b;le you re at it S'H «!!:> down in Murray Bros.' and have a drink with Lockwood. 1 tt i'll be back before yon finish.” The squire r: 1 Mr. Lockwood, went out. The s-tpi’iv wan in roarch of the spirit of the law at the root of the law. Mr. Lockwood thinks they had a drink. On the stairs, half way back tc the courtroom, with the echo of Beckwith'S voice sounding in their ears, the squire stopped. “Lockwccd,” said he, “you’ve won your care.” Then they went in hoard Beck¬ with finish slimming up.—Buffalo Ex¬ press. Itsctitcrtic"! Punctuation. Speaking tf W. II. (“Coin") Harvey, a Chicago man raid: "An amusing lucid of t-’r place while Harvey v.a:; rd.Uor of Or.In. a pa¬ per which he published in Chicago. Harvey, in talking to <:: ? tf his part¬ ners. took except; n to the want of punctuation in the paper. •. '.ere isn't enough jnmetnation.’ i:e c.guplah’.ed, ‘and Coin clucr.rbt leak r:;;T:t wUhoat it. There ought to Ive a con:i::a em-e in r-:o often, then r-o often a co’.cti. ami all the rest. Don’t you think so:' he wound up appealingly. *“i do. indeed.’ km:-.'!.? trthe partner, who wr.a not v. H lly devoid ef humor. ‘That’s n great idea ■ yours. Harvey. If I were ?m.‘ he ••.uggcHtcd, T’d draw up a yule to tied eiM-et.' "Harvey thought jt ever, .and the thought commended Itself. The next clay, therefore, a ml:* reac’laR some¬ what as foilovs wns prated ih the of¬ fice of Coin - ‘iicrenftcr it is ;he rule of this office that articles appearing in the columns of this jure r 1 be punctu¬ ated ii.s follows: Every wer-l-t shall carry a comma: ( very three Sires a semicolon: every f lint s : «• i ;n; ev¬ ery five lines a period; c::eb\> ■ m, , anil Quest loti marks may b:* tisod ; iieret.) fore. The employees of this peper will please observe this order.’ Xt .v York Tribune. A Failure (n Ccopertcs. A certain man who v::ui cnco a prominent Kentucky politician was more a demagogue than a statesman. He was, according to Short Stories, in the habit of boa: ting that his father wns a cooper in an obscure town in the state—that he was "one of tho people" and didn't belong to the "kid gloved aristocrat's;.” The “genera!V‘ great failing being his fondness for liquor, it will surprise no one to be told that the more he drank the moye loudly he declaimed Ids political sentiments and the prouder o i being the son of a cooper be became. During a political campaign, whore his opponent was the southern orator. Tom Marshall, he had been unusually noisy and offensive iu his boasting regarding his obscure origin. In replying, Mar¬ shall said, looking hard at the general: “Fellow citizens, my opponent’s father may have been a very good cooper. 1 don't deny that; but I do say, gentlemen, that he put a mighty poor bead into that whisky barrel.” Heal Nit-o RatliSiijj. It may be doubted if a tub bath in Jamaica is a luxury. The bathhouses make a brave show in a row of low brick buildings in the rear of the ho¬ tels, each little house with a big stono tank for a bathtub. 1 went out to see the baths on my first day in Kingston and was surpris¬ ed to see a sign nailed against the wall bearing the words: "Gentlemen Are Requested Not to Use Soap In the Baths.” “Why are gentlemen requested not to use soap in the baths?" I asked the ho¬ tel clerk, a dignified young woman of dark complexion. “Because it soils the watc-r and makes it unpleasant for the next bather,” she said. “But do your guests ail bathe iu the same water?” i asked. “Oh. yes," she replied. “You see, the tanks are so large and the pipes are small. It takes all night to fill the tanks, and the water has to last all day.” A Woman's No, “Learn to say. ’no.’ my daughter,” ad¬ vised the wise mamma. “But why?" inquired the coy debu¬ tante. “Because it is more fun to beep the men guessing for a while.’-’ Thus we see that woman’s no" means “guess” in stead cf “yes. as the proverb would have us believe.— Baltimore American. or ms Ahoaflaoce, “Your neighbor has just given me an old coat, raid the tiainp. Can jou give something.'’’ “Yes.” replied the clergyman. “1 will go through the collection box aqd find some buttons to match the coat.”— Philadelphia Record. From Manila to Australia is “like go Ing down a river, for one is out of sight of land only two days.” Tho voyage lasts ‘21 days, but the course is through the south sea islands, which accounts for its resembiance to river uavi^atioa,
