Newspaper Page Text
ET sugar PROFITABLE.
to l»e Tried in Thif
pjfl'UStOH System
Country.
tt c Warmotli, of Lou isiana,
„ the steamship
ved Europe in
• Gov Warmoth, in company
11 ^'Agriculture, (f l ‘Snencer, has of been the traveling Depart
sh i 4 See Ud Germany, industry making of those a
f ebeet sugar
condition. The governments
nlridized the manufacture up to
' the
L e omt at where it- does not pay
it "VS. P S%r* The-price of sugar
nfi to-day » aboat
Ri hundredweight, while the
5 Producing hundredweight. it in Germany Sugar is abom mak
i-ormany is chiefly carried on by
‘Shecompanies, timers who have clubbed divided together,
rfJSXeh-. and the
himself Each farmer
;; to grow at least three and
u f, of beets for each share of
fy he holds, do and so. is The subject result to a is fine that n
to than the mini
st \ r them grow ° more buy the
The mills up
at 22 marks (the equivalent of 22
' uinffS ) ton; they pay a tax to the
i a of 16 marks ton,
government a
X l cost of manufacture making amounts the total to
io marks a ton, ton. A
of production 48 marks per
" of beets produces two hmidred
(frld of sugar, so that the cost of the
E 24 The marks annual (about product «6> a hundred- of Ger
f-ht b'y *ia 900,000 tons of sugar,
about subsidy is the
L e'government given all m
0 f a rebate of the tax on sugar
lr Lum is exported. exportation As this is of really a
on the sugar
I, feed article is actually much Eugland, higher
in Germany than it is in
kl about three-fourths of the product
exported. Still the article, as you
L gee does not pay the cost ot pro
[etion, fix'd and the the manufacturers problem just is now howto pre¬
to solved only
I nee that cost. It can be
I the reduction of the price of beets,
which, however, the farmers, who are
b real mill owners, strenuously ob
pt, and the reduction of tbe ta*. on
(“The methods employed greatly in superior the manu- to
bture of sugar are crushed
is The beets are not as is
a cane, but are cut into thin slips and
bated under a system of diffusion, in
hieh the principle of osmose is applied,
i that system the slips of beet are sub
isfc to repeated drenching of hot wa
r, until a chemieal test of the beet
(’stance shows that every consequently particle of
gat has been extracted, is
ere is no waste of sugar as there in
e grinding of cane. The diffusion
stem can be applied to cane also, but
e cane will have to be cut in slips iu
jad of being ground. I am informed
■ letters I Jiave received that Dr. Lor
g, tbe head of the Department of
;riculture, is now erecting a battery
r the trial of' the diffusion system on
V plantation in Louisiana. ”
An Exciting Time.
iCimiENT ovur the franchise bill
IN ENGLAND.
■ The exciting scenes which followed
lord Salisbury’s address before the
lonservatives at Dumfries, England,
»ou tho abolition of the House of
fords, lllows: are told in the London News as
I While being driven to the station the
mndows of Lord Salisbury’s carriage
■ere smashed with stones. Fortu
ktelv the occupants were not in j ured.
Ibe crowd had previously smashed the
riadows of some of the other carriages
Ised by tbe leading gentlemen who had
pended lury arriving the meeting. at the station On Lord Salis- great
a
rowd was found to have assembled
here. He immediately passed inside
p his saioou, the constables meanwhile
eeping the people back. No sooner _
ad he got inside than a struggle arose
jetween one the different booking-office, parties in the crowd
ad to and the police
draw their staves and clear the
nole station. The turbulence heard
uring the progress of the meeting
lamfesfed itself iu more than mere
roanrng. a considerable number of
eople of the rougher class had gathered
1 , mooting vicinity of the meeting-place.
Ker and groaning for a while
jey made attempt!, to carry the barri
ules by assault. Those, however,
coved ineffectual until after Lord Salis
ury had left the place. Then the bar
™ W era broken down, the turmoil
in r further , increasing, and the
more
lone-throwing bee ne pretty general,
RO f- se< i ueilc e Vwi-. i.-it many of the
i n J l< mfflps in the neighborhood
■ mpietelv ;' were
shattered. A crowd gathered
so m front of the King’s Arms Hotel
-a here more stoning was indulged in.
ost of the lower and several of the
gner windows in the hotel were
ecked. While engaged in the per
'manee of his duty one of the con
ables was severely cut about the face,
he mob outside the hotel was com
LjSeci L 0 were al most most entirely demonstrative of young in roughs their
ppression of hostility toward the noble
prqms The carriages containing the
le « for the station shortly before
I I;j J 6Q a c ^ oc .' £ > aQ seemed d were followed equally by
ltle£l • to be
[ 111 their opinions. The roughs,
I wever, smashed the windows, and as a
patter of precaution when his Lordship,
P, l *he Earl by the Marquis of Lothian
of Galloway, entered a
, Him n car riage which had been reserved
it was taken down the line
await the arrival of the mail train,
ito e c1 meantime the crowd cheered and
L , ^ ’ ai)<i mueh excitement pre-
1q t1 “Ust t before 11:30 the mail
Li rmned ' train
into the station, and Lord
L >ilr J s saloon having been attached
Li® toutrai^ amid position loud it departed tor
tea with considerable cheering, accom
hooting.
L.apturtd. —Eigh teen ravens were
Ttunet near Gudley, Cal., a short
r-h Tolf °i oOU a swooped somew hat down curious way. A
„ number on the backs
of sheep that were grazing,
® | he birds’ eagerness to get away
g°* their talons fast
kre • i. ., e beep’s vfoA, where they
‘kers o** until secured by
The Conyers Weekly.
VOL. VII.
A THANKSGIVING TRAGEDY.
James sat down to eat, liis dinner ,
On a bright Thanksgiving Day.
And he murmured, “I will tackle
Everything that comes my way.”
“James,” his mother gently warned him,
“James, you musiit eat too much.—
You will find it dangerous l.nisine-ss,
Eating turkey, quail and such.”
James paid no attention io her,
Save to give a passing frown,
But continued doing business—
Putting all the viands down:
Yen’son, partridge, duck and rabbit,
Lobster, goose, arid chicken pie,
Salads, sauces, entrees vanished
In the twinkling of an eye.
“Come, my son,” exclaimed liis father,
“You l ave eaten quite enough;
Or you’ll catch a dreadful colic,
Filling up on such rich stuff.”
Ah in vain; his heir-apparent
Would net listen unto him,
But continued masticating—
Naughty, foolish, silly Jim !
Bigger, bigger grew his stomach,
Filled with pies and c-akes and meat—
Rounder, fuller, tighter, plumper—
Still he did not cease to eat.
When at last appeared the pudding,
Janies indulged a smothered groan;
“Darling, are you sick ?” his mother
Queried in an anxious tone.
Then the foolish little -fellow
Placed his hand upon his head
And the other on his stomach—
“Gosh !” he feebly, faintly said.
Tapa hastened for the doctor,
Mamma shrieked and tore her hair;
But, before assistance reached him,
James had climbed the golden stair.
For there came a loud explosion,
Bending foolidi James asunder—
Filled too full of toothsome viands,
He had bursted all (o thunder!
And for several weeks they labored
Ere enough, of James was found
To adorn a modest comer
T u the family bnrying-gronnil.
Eugene Field.
Only a Year A.go
“But you have known me so short a
time—only six weeks—how is it possible
that you can love me?”
“How is it possible? Rather ask how
is it possible to avoid loving you ? And
besides, is it really so incomprehensible
Avis? You have known me just the
same length of time, and yet—yet—I
have ventured to liop9 that you—that
you love me, dear. Oh, Avis, is the
sweet hope false ? Have I deceived my
seif? Or will you, indeed, confirm it
by promising to be, some happy clay, nsy
wife?”
He would have caught and clasped the
fair girl in his arms, but she, beeping
him back bv a gesture of her little hand,
while her great dark eyes were fixed
with beseeching earnestness upon his
face, answered:
“It is not what I wish—or even what
vou wish—that must be thought of, Mr.
Roy, but your mother—your mother,
who has been like a mother to me also,
so good, so generous. What would she
say”- voice, tremulous yet stern, inter
A
rupted her—a voice that made her start
and turn in some confusion.
“She would say that you are right in
remembering her, Avis, and that sli© is
glad of this proof of your gratitude: for
the rest, Roy Livingstone s mother looks
farther than her own family circle, and
higher than to a poor dependent, how
ever good or fair, when she seeks a bride
for her only sou and a future mistress
for The Laurels. Leavens, Avis. I do
not blame you, child; forget this folly,
^t^ P^S^n
son
pmttycompanion your artist foly. s Joa picture, womd^at forsooth, and my
wmle so doing have stolen her he: -
lost your own. ]I m
this; I should have been a • •
Bu do you hope that I shall • tolerate
such lolly.-' I overhead you
girl, just now, to be your wile.
“YoiKlia.” Tto 5 ou»g mm mmmmS
genUy.jjut with a
unmistakable. “I love her and I wiL
her. ’
“Without my consent? ta Without . your
mother’s blessing ? Is this the affection—
the duty of mv own child?”
He put his arms around her.
“I shall never set you a r defiance,
mother. and least of all for Avis’s sake.
She is too good, too ardently attached to
you to do aught that could wound you.
But will you not Have compassion has for been us,
also, mother? We love. Avis
to vou as a daughter always; let it bo
-t ” “** h “ ?■
training? I love her with a love that
will not change. Unless you give mo
Avis for a wife I shall not marry.
“Absurd!” Mrs. Livingstone3 eyes
flashed scornfully. “When our guests
arrive to-day you will find many far
superior to Avis. A foundling! It is
not her poverty—we are rich enough—
but her birth.”
“We know nothing of it, and I care
nothing. It is herself I love.”
“Listen, Roy.” The lady’s proud hand
face softened as she laid one white
on her son’s shoulder, while his arm stole
around her fondly. “You are.my only
child; all my hopes are bound up in you.
Let us not quarrel about this foolish
girl. She is dear to me. also. Let us
take time to think. Compare the girl
:
CONYERS, ROCKDALE CO., GA„ FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19,1884.
witn others. When our guests are gone,
if you are in the same mind, we will see
what is best for all. Will you promise?”
“To ivait for your consent until our
guests are gone ? Yes, I can promise
that.”
"And, meantime, not to speak of this
to Avis.”
“That’s (harder, mother. But if you
will tell her that you may consent, I will
obey you.” that has
“I will tell her every word
passed between us*” said Mrs. Living¬
stone.
And she meant to keep her promise.
But Avis was not waiting for her, as she
had expected. The girl had gone to her
own room, sending to Mrs. Livingstone
a piteous little message of excuse. Her
head ached. Might she bo-allowed to
keep her own chamber ?
The lady smiled.
“I will set her heart at rest tc-mor
row,” she thought. “There is no time
now.” For her expected guests were
arriving.
And when Roy looked at her inquir
ingly, as he missed the girl—
“She wished to keep her room to¬
night,” she whispered. “All will be
well to morrow.”
But when tomorrow came a sad sur
prise came with i it. Avis had disap
peared. “That grief
I m&v not cause you or
pain—you who have been to me a true
mother—I fly from u temptation that
would prove too strong it I remained.
When I am gone your son will soon for¬
get, me. I pray God that ho may--lor
his sake. But 1 shall not forget, nor
cease to love you’ Farewell, little dearest
friends. Forgive your Avis.”
This was all; and she bad gone
leaving no trace, making no further
sign. ju Roy sought J her, with
vain for even
the help of detectives; having left home
and , , to ,, the .. „ for that ,, ,
come city purpose;
while Ins mother, no leas anxious for the
eu<w for his siie absence. could °to After i&jfSSS&Z a month of weary
ss» retnrned ' r*
“No news,” he said, in Answer to bis
mother’s anxious 1 question^ -Java .oat • all “nor hopp .will of
finding her.
'
bad passed . gentle Avis
A year since
disappeared, ami once made more The a gay Laurels party
of merry guests
bright and eheerfm, foiemost among
them Rose Brandon, the beauty and
heiress, and belle.
A. mre.-tc favorite was s w stately
Mrs. L'.vingstone, ana _ ore not
wanted those who named ier » s the
future mistress o; «e splendid but
gloomy bouse which her beauty and
joyous laughter made so bright,
Even Roy Livingstone’s brow, on
which the clond of disappointment habitual, cleared and
regret had grown
somewhat as his artist-eyes took in her
fresh, proud loveliness, and as he Ha
toned to her animated talk, the smi|e
that had grown so rare stole to his lips
and shone like a light in his eyes, His
mother watching him, smiled, too, well
pleased. “Is fehenot beantnul? she . whispered .. ,
to him. “She would make a lair and
gracious queen tor i he Laurels, hoy.
But the gloom came back to his f c<?
as be answered sad’ v :
“My gneen went luto exile, mother,
a y (;a j 0 g O . I have a constant he^rt, and
cannot transfer my allegiance.”
“Roy!” cried the clear, merry voice
jiose Brandon— “Boy, have yon
g; vpn np painting? Yon used to no so
arab j bons> Only a year ago, I remem
ber> you were enthusiastic about seme
picture that was to bring you fame.
SSirieSr?”. 0 ; * ? ^ T “
w
A kind H «hnl toil on the company;
iDB , lucUTC i y they tol; they * *“■
gerous ground. hvm the i h
ijappy voice took a softer tone as
qnestioneu genriy : picture, .toy ?
-May we see the
He arose without a woi i and leu the
way to tire library, iue gneats all follow
iug lwl ,, T K .... m
. W
,„n Sir., Cnr* *>«•
fair, . sad
friend> Mrs. Grey, a woman
with silver hair. .
M rs. Grey was a great invalid, and ,
unconquerable bad preyed upon
her heart for years and broken down her
fragile body. .She leaned heavily on
Mrs. Livingstone s arm. she asked
“What is this peturer
her. wWu .
of . I T reared ,
“The portrait one child,/and whom
and loved ns my own
we unaccountably lost, owirng to an on
happy misunderstanding. tSbe was a
SSfMLT I ip.rtl
, ^ q/ the many liaintugs on the
0 nlv was concealed by a heavy
ca mirtahr r u Bov drew the orkuson folds
." * “
.
^An exClamatioo fto*n Mn. Grey admira aud
K 03e Branddn and a munaur»/of the
t£ 0 n from all the rest bc.re witness to
loveliiiC-se of the image thi.t was dis
fed. pressed forward, eagerly,
jfrs Grey the for
&er weakness seeming for time
° -rotten girl, fair
Xheportrait ofa grae An 1 as a
lnv-flower; the lovely wis-tf-.t eyes, with
'world <f loving tenderr.sF iu their
ml d;;i"ht depths, looked ouv irem a f-.ce
, xonisile l> s.uty . but • ivory, Hear
and pale; a tender,*dimpling Aptray eruile of upon
- b8 gcarlet lips, » trailing scar-
let blossoms in the blue-black hair, soft
and glossy as the raven’s wing—a simple
robe of white, and on one lovely suowv
arm a curious golden bracelet. This
was all.
Mrs. Grey stood like one entranced,
her agitation visible to all. Her deli¬
cate hands were tightly locked together;
lier breath came in quick gasps.
“How like !” she murmured; “how
strangely like ! In heaven’s name, who
is she
“My adopted daughter,” Mrs. Liv¬
ingstone replied, for Roy had turned
aside in silence* overcome by the sight
of the beauty he had loved and lost.
“Twelve years ago I took her—-then five
years old—from a poor old fisherman
down on the beach, three or four miles
away. He had rescued her from the sea
on the night of a great storm, two years
before, and had cherished and cared for
her tenderly; but finding sickness and
old aae fast robbing him of health and
strength, he sought to find a friend for
his little girl in me.
“Imagination cannot picture anything
lovelier than the child was then. 1
loved her at first sight, and have loved
her always. I adopted, educated her,
and brought her up ns my own. I have
tho clothes she wore when she was
found, but they furnish no clue to. her
parentage, but* on her arm, clasped firm¬
ly above the elbow, was a bracelet; it fits
her slender wrist now; you see she wears
it in the portrait; upon it is a single
word—the old fisherman took it to be
her name, and so called her; we never
changed it. ‘Avis’ was the word, and
‘Avis.’ she is called.”
A cry from Mrs. Grey interrupted
her; she slink upon her knees before the
picture with outstretched arms.
“Avis !” she cried. “My child—it is
my child ! Fourteen years ago the
cruel sea washed her and her father
from my arms. The waves restored
him dead. Out she was seen no more,
Where is ghe-ob, where is she ? And
lUe cloUie »'she won ?”
jfeisr •»»_ Livingstone hastened from the
Weeihil wTth r* wl,h
love and iov the long
bereaV ed mother identified them all.
“Blessed be the merciful Heaven that
has kept he* safely, and restored her to
me alter all these years. Anil you, my
friend,” turning to Mrs. Livingstone,
“hew shaii I thank you for your Jove
and eare? Oh, bring her to mo. Let
me clasp her once more m my arms.
Why , lo you hesitate? I am strong
enough, joy does not kill. What is it?”
sbo continued wildly, gazing with grow
j j n g fear n pon the pa'e averted face of
mother and son. “Has harm befallen
m £ y child? Havo I found her only to
Io her? Avis, my daughter ! Where
is she?”
Rose Brandon rushed to her side.
“Be calm,” she cried. is safe
and well. No harm has come' to her,
Listen to mo ’ lean tell yon where to
; ‘
ba( ] ber ”
“Yonit was Roy who-spoke. 1 “You
’
, kflow 4vis
“I j, know her well but I have never
know unt , b this moment, of her con
nection with this family. Whv have
vou ke pt your loss and‘grief a secret, I
Roy? j could have helped you, had
known your troubles long ago.” to
“It is nearly a year since she came
ns, in answer to an advertisement for a
music governess for little Ida. Mother
-was sick when first, she called and con
sequently I received her. She was so
beautiful and innocent mid yet so sad
and friendless, that my whole heart went
out to tier from the first. She told me
the simple story of her adoption here
and of Roy’s love and hers, but without
mentioning a single name, so that I
“ b
g 8be C: , m to us and has
dw If with ns ,-v. r since, quiet and sad,
<. b jld, f but k to and kindly cared
1 tJe t „ t home witb aud
mother when I ourne away. She is there
'
nov/ -
L L , ■ luig.-fom , r-aueht aught her her hands baud' in
Ntthimniii. ' t»ra
. wi.hem uio.. Have hove g ve
“® “g.ck n -.ppmesv and love,
Grey, f v. ill bring .your Daughter to 'ou.
I g<» by the trim u«ni m .ha'It an
hour; before ah and ht
her m your arms, vmu, .
was g no.
, ^
* , !, r ; ;™ wiii.A.r f2r
fille. the lorn .y sehoc.-roomi that after
noo.., out oixasio). j fiishes_ ol ligtit
from a small uit chee. .r. are e
stenaer fagurethat oat before it in a low
SSSfcfV lid.o ber
of Roy. Ancie was he? How fared
he? .Had he forgotten Avis? Alas!
poor Avia cold si not lorget! Hark!
was that
A footstep in ‘he hall outside the
door. Nothing in that to make the eyes
so bright amt the pale cheess flush to
vivid crimson ! Ah, but it nad sounded
like Boy’s footstep. Roy’s foototep
here—what Hie (.learning. What
stiNnge tricks fancy jnayed her o.teu
Sue contd close , , her eyes aud .. bide . her
face in her hands as now—now, partly
for ber shame at her own fondfoilv—
and fancy, oh, suen things. Fancy li”
Laurels tier happy home once more,
and Mrs. Livingstone her kind adopted
mother l FanoyKry s teimar smne and
'
NO. 40.
loving looks; recall the very words he
spoke— his earnest tone—liis sigh.
~ ? That fancy,
What was that, was not
surely? She sat quite still—her face
still covered by her hands—and lis¬
tened ; a sigh had sounded close beside
her, breathed like the very echo of her
dream ; and now a voice—oh, heaven,
what voice !—whispered her name :
“Avis! -Look at me, Avis !”
She turned, she rose, gazed for one
moment in his face as if bewildered;
then, with a cry of love and joy unutter¬
able: “Roy! my beloved !” sprang to the
arms and sank on the breast of her true
lover.
“Yon have found me!” she cried.
“You have found me!”
“Never to lose you again, Avis—never
again!” “And mother ?”
your searched his face
Her great, eyes
timidly, anxiously.
“She will welcome you as I do. We
shall part no more. Yon will learn, dear,
that she never meant to part us. Anil
another waits for you. Oh, come, love,
come to the heart that aches to wel
come you—to tho arms of your own
true mother.”
* *
Onl/ one month later a brilliant
bridal party aroused to joy and mirth
the slumbering echoes of The Laurels.
And who so fair as Avis, the sweet
bride, with her iroop of lovely laughed brides¬
maids, of whom Rose Brandon
and blushed, the merry chief ? Who so
rich, so proud, so happy as Avis now?
Avis, the foundling, found, indeed, at
last, and by her own true mother;
Avis, the lost, restored to all who loved
and mourned her; Avis, the joyful
bride ef the generous, noble lover who,
in the days of her poverty and nameless¬
ness—in spite of time, and absence, and
silence, and desertion—loved her faith¬
fully and truly to the last.
Advice to Young Sportsmen,
<■ “ “ “ *•
muzzle of a gun that is dangerous, there
suMsaafir*
Nevcl : P ut yom hfmd °!® r the muzz 0
^le^ouTgun t Xtoit isToS. with 0 “
breach-loading gun re¬
bounding i mmmer s. A muzzle-loading
«* rm U j 8 both inconvenient and dangerous b
.
HflD £ ne rless gnn8 aro beautiful and
convenieilt weapons, but they are not fit
for , to use, especially boys who are
iustbeginning to shoot,
“ hunting in with
if you aro company
others, he careful and courteous, always
refraining from shooting at birds that
flushed nearer to your companions
than to you, and do not allow your gun
under any circumstances, to point at, or
in the direction of any human being,
Open your gun at the breech and take
out both shells beforo climbing over a
fence, getting into a wagon, going into
a house, or banding the gun to a person
not used to fire-arms.
Never drag a gun toward you muzzle
foremost. with
Treat an unloaded gun the same
care that you would use in handling a
loaded one. “I did not know it was
loaded,” has caused many terrible acoi
dents,
When out hunting, observe every
thing, so as to remember the minutest
details of visiblo nature. Knowledge
thus gathered is invaluable,
Boys, when hunting "together, should
be very cautions in thick covert; as
there, one maybe quite near another
and not see him.— St, Nicholas for Co
iober.
Ilie Ruling' I’assion.
A GAMBLER STOCKS THE CARDS ONCE TOO
OFTEN AND NOW ’VfiAIiS PLASTER.
It is not often men reform after they
c^XeTA i
scheme of practical reform. Ho had as
a single man been fond of poker. In
deed, as a measure of economy, being
tired of supporting several institutions
in town on a limited income, he made a
big bluff' at matrimony. Ho thought he
could master the gambling and* propensity bhmhing
k v teaching his young
lered int« it with »U her he«rt and soui.
THte stakes were beans, coffee beans
plaiD innocent apd healthful articles of
after-dinner rt freshmen gambling t.
But> ^ tbe spirit grew
upon her and one fatal game upset the
of their lovely home. He had
been honest with her. He had con
cealed his deep knowledge of the game. his
But there came a time when he saw
c]iaJJC0 md t<K>k it Re stocked the
cards Re gave her four kings and he
himself took four aces. Her eves glia
She grabbed half of her pile and
5»' '“L,d“a Sr tt“e*nU„£
£, .Mu i! JL & «.e
same place, seized the canister, ana, re
turning in wild excitemeiit, turned it up
on tbe table. Against her four ksng3
were four little spots. There wai a pause
for a moment
He ha: had his hair cut and wears a
piece of piaster where the tin can struck
him, aud tho lady in waiting finds co8V>;
Ivans vet aH over the house .—Chronicle
Undertones.
i
“Well, well, my dear ?” id bus
band to iiLs seoidn just j
l>oen surpas-ing 1 xhibirioB
oi temper, “f’v ariar and j
brimstone, and ' think
ot one and the ffy*er of
TEE JOKER’S BUDGET.
WHAT WE F1NO IN THE HUMOR¬
OUS COLUMNS TO MAKE US SMILE.
Tli» Rivals—He was Very A nary—A Clear
Count—A Military Man—'l'lie Decaying
Year, Etc., Etc.
STRIKING CONTRASTS.
Parmer John—“Wall, wall! Edication
is a great thing, arter all. Here is this
book that artist chap left here. Ef I’d
a known what it says I’d made my for¬
tune years ago, and it ain’t too late
yet.” painting pic¬
Mrs. John—“Is it about
tures?”
“No; it’s about colors. It says, ‘Light
blue when contrasted with very dark
blue appears white. »
“Why, John, I can’t see what differ¬
ence that makes. It’s no use to us.”
“It ain’t! Well, you see, I’ll double
the sales of my milk in a week. ”
“How under the canopy can you do
that, John ?”
“I’ll paint our milk wagon very dark
blue, ”—Philadelphia Call.
GENEROUS AT LEAST.
A married lady had been staying for
some time at the seaside and she was
joined by a friend from the city who in a
burst of confidence told her that her
husband was having a high old time
while site was away.
“Oh, well,” she said, “I am not there,
of course, and I suppose it’s all right.
But how did you know ?”
“I left San Francisco this morning
and Charley did not come home until 3
o’clock. He told me he had been out
with your husband all night.”
The listener smiled and when she got
homo read over very quietly a letter
from her husband, dated from Chicago
and just received. tell gossip She was generous. Charley
She did not the that
must have forgotten to fix up his lie
with discretion .—San Francisco Chron¬
icle,
THE DECAYING YEAH.
Tho farmer the is busy thrashing.
I hear muffled blows,
And also the fellow yelling
Who gets the flail on the toes.
I hoar the partridge drumming
Among the beeches dense,
And I see the chipmunk muning
Along the old rail-fence.
And out in the russet stubble
The quail doth sweetly pipe,
And upon the breakfast-table
The old slap-jack is ripe.— Puck.
AFTER THIS ELECTIONS.
“Woll, I thought it was going just as
it did.”
“Ah, did you? So did I.”
“Indeed; what made you think so?”
“Well, “Oh, I I dunno; dunno why either.” did you?”
“Good-day.” .”—Poston
“Good-day Post.
WHAT HE ESCAPED.
“Where have you been for the last
three months ?”
“I’ve been in Europe. I was Nobody in Mar¬
seilles, and had the cholera.
knows what I suffered. ”•
“Well, you were in lack. That ac¬
counts fo» your looking so w elL Sup¬
pose you had remained here, and gone
• through all this Presidential racket, as I
have had to do. Yon would be in your
grave now. You don’t know what suf¬
fering is.”— Texas Siftings.
WnAT MADE HIM MAD.
They were alone. He was stretched
on the sofa looking into the grate, won¬
dering why coal was not sold for $5 a
ton instead of $6.50. She was reading
the morning paper. A conversation—a
dialogue—occurred:
“Hubby, dear?”
“What is it, pet?” jersey
“You needn’t buy me that we
were looking at. I wouldn’t wear one
for the world. Here is au article that
says the pleuro-pneumonia has broken
out amoDg the Jerseys and many have
died.”
He took the tongs and pulled Without down
the motto, “What Is Home a
Mother,” from the wall and stuck it in
the lire. It was tho last pleasant even¬
ing of their lives .—Chicago Herald.
A COUNT.
“For heaven’s sake, what are you do¬
ing, Mr. Schueidervrow ?” exclaimed
the leader of the orchestra to the sec¬
ond violin; “you’re not keeping time at
all; count the beats, man, count the
beats.”
Mr. Schneidervro w dropped his bow,
looked over the audience of deadheads
and exclaimed in despair :
“It vas impossible 1”
He had misunderstood the leader’s
meaning .—Boston Transcript.
A MILITARY ITEM.
Mrs. Sniverly is the wife of the cap¬
tain of a New York militia company.
She attended a review not long since at
which her husband was the commanding
officer. Mrs. Sniverly laughed all the
way home, and when, after she got
home, she was asked what was the cause •
of her merriment she replied: in the
“It was the funniest thing
world to see my husband, who never dares
to open Iris mouth at home, ordering all
those men about, and they doing just
what he told them to do. Why don’t he
try that game on me ?”
HOW nAIRS MOVE.
“James, you wretch ! How did that
hair get c»n your coat ? It’s a red one,
too! Tell me, now !”
“Soothe yourself, my love, soothe
yourself. I suppose it got on in the
street-car— canght on as 1 leaned back,
you know.” of
“But. how did it get on the breast
your coat? Oh, 5T ' It couldn't get
O
“Pshaw ! That comes from not hav
J ‘-f n Gapiilary attr»c
f gnriace v
‘ p )v dear, ea-.illary attraction.”-Nf.
’
1 n ‘
"• y
preferred to be DOM*
“Why, Mary, have yon come back to
be a hired girl again f I thought you
left us tc get married and have a house
of your own.”
“So I did, mum.” back
“Well, what have you come
for?” - ' John’s done
“Well, ye see, muni, hired girl,
party well, an’ we kep* a too.
an’ I'm kind o’ tired av the way of Jito.
1 1 bought I’d like to come back at’ be
hose aginiur a whiie.”- -St.
