The Conyers weekly. (Conyers, Ga.) 18??-1888, December 19, 1884, Image 1
ET sugar PROFITABLE. to l»e Tried in Thif pjfl'UStOH System Country. tt c Warmotli, of Lou isiana, „ the steamship ved Europe in • Gov Warmoth, in company 11 ^'Agriculture, (f l ‘Snencer, has of been the traveling Depart sh i 4 See Ud Germany, industry making of those a f ebeet sugar condition. The governments nlridized the manufacture up to ' the L e omt at where it- does not pay it "VS. P S%r* The-price of sugar nfi to-day » aboat Ri hundredweight, while the 5 Producing hundredweight. it in Germany Sugar is abom mak i-ormany is chiefly carried on by ‘Shecompanies, timers who have clubbed divided together, rfJSXeh-. and the himself Each farmer ;; to grow at least three and u f, of beets for each share of fy he holds, do and so. is The subject result to a is fine that n to than the mini st \ r them grow ° more buy the The mills up at 22 marks (the equivalent of 22 ' uinffS ) ton; they pay a tax to the i a of 16 marks ton, government a X l cost of manufacture making amounts the total to io marks a ton, ton. A of production 48 marks per " of beets produces two hmidred (frld of sugar, so that the cost of the E 24 The marks annual (about product «6> a hundred- of Ger f-ht b'y *ia 900,000 tons of sugar, about subsidy is the L e'government given all m 0 f a rebate of the tax on sugar lr Lum is exported. exportation As this is of really a on the sugar I, feed article is actually much Eugland, higher in Germany than it is in kl about three-fourths of the product exported. Still the article, as you L gee does not pay the cost ot pro [etion, fix'd and the the manufacturers problem just is now howto pre¬ to solved only I nee that cost. It can be I the reduction of the price of beets, which, however, the farmers, who are b real mill owners, strenuously ob pt, and the reduction of tbe ta*. on (“The methods employed greatly in superior the manu- to bture of sugar are crushed is The beets are not as is a cane, but are cut into thin slips and bated under a system of diffusion, in hieh the principle of osmose is applied, i that system the slips of beet are sub isfc to repeated drenching of hot wa r, until a chemieal test of the beet (’stance shows that every consequently particle of gat has been extracted, is ere is no waste of sugar as there in e grinding of cane. The diffusion stem can be applied to cane also, but e cane will have to be cut in slips iu jad of being ground. I am informed ■ letters I Jiave received that Dr. Lor g, tbe head of the Department of ;riculture, is now erecting a battery r the trial of' the diffusion system on V plantation in Louisiana. ” An Exciting Time. iCimiENT ovur the franchise bill IN ENGLAND. ■ The exciting scenes which followed lord Salisbury’s address before the lonservatives at Dumfries, England, »ou tho abolition of the House of fords, lllows: are told in the London News as I While being driven to the station the mndows of Lord Salisbury’s carriage ■ere smashed with stones. Fortu ktelv the occupants were not in j ured. Ibe crowd had previously smashed the riadows of some of the other carriages Ised by tbe leading gentlemen who had pended lury arriving the meeting. at the station On Lord Salis- great a rowd was found to have assembled here. He immediately passed inside p his saioou, the constables meanwhile eeping the people back. No sooner _ ad he got inside than a struggle arose jetween one the different booking-office, parties in the crowd ad to and the police draw their staves and clear the nole station. The turbulence heard uring the progress of the meeting lamfesfed itself iu more than mere roanrng. a considerable number of eople of the rougher class had gathered 1 , mooting vicinity of the meeting-place. Ker and groaning for a while jey made attempt!, to carry the barri ules by assault. Those, however, coved ineffectual until after Lord Salis ury had left the place. Then the bar ™ W era broken down, the turmoil in r further , increasing, and the more lone-throwing bee ne pretty general, RO f- se< i ueilc e Vwi-. i.-it many of the i n J l< mfflps in the neighborhood ■ mpietelv ;' were shattered. A crowd gathered so m front of the King’s Arms Hotel -a here more stoning was indulged in. ost of the lower and several of the gner windows in the hotel were ecked. While engaged in the per 'manee of his duty one of the con ables was severely cut about the face, he mob outside the hotel was com LjSeci L 0 were al most most entirely demonstrative of young in roughs their ppression of hostility toward the noble prqms The carriages containing the le « for the station shortly before I I;j J 6Q a c ^ oc .' £ > aQ seemed d were followed equally by ltle£l • to be [ 111 their opinions. The roughs, I wever, smashed the windows, and as a patter of precaution when his Lordship, P, l *he Earl by the Marquis of Lothian of Galloway, entered a , Him n car riage which had been reserved it was taken down the line await the arrival of the mail train, ito e c1 meantime the crowd cheered and L , ^ ’ ai)<i mueh excitement pre- 1q t1 “Ust t before 11:30 the mail Li rmned ' train into the station, and Lord L >ilr J s saloon having been attached Li® toutrai^ amid position loud it departed tor tea with considerable cheering, accom hooting. L.apturtd. —Eigh teen ravens were Ttunet near Gudley, Cal., a short r-h Tolf °i oOU a swooped somew hat down curious way. A „ number on the backs of sheep that were grazing, ® | he birds’ eagerness to get away g°* their talons fast kre • i. ., e beep’s vfoA, where they ‘kers o** until secured by The Conyers Weekly. VOL. VII. A THANKSGIVING TRAGEDY. James sat down to eat, liis dinner , On a bright Thanksgiving Day. And he murmured, “I will tackle Everything that comes my way.” “James,” his mother gently warned him, “James, you musiit eat too much.— You will find it dangerous l.nisine-ss, Eating turkey, quail and such.” James paid no attention io her, Save to give a passing frown, But continued doing business— Putting all the viands down: Yen’son, partridge, duck and rabbit, Lobster, goose, arid chicken pie, Salads, sauces, entrees vanished In the twinkling of an eye. “Come, my son,” exclaimed liis father, “You l ave eaten quite enough; Or you’ll catch a dreadful colic, Filling up on such rich stuff.” Ah in vain; his heir-apparent Would net listen unto him, But continued masticating— Naughty, foolish, silly Jim ! Bigger, bigger grew his stomach, Filled with pies and c-akes and meat— Rounder, fuller, tighter, plumper— Still he did not cease to eat. When at last appeared the pudding, Janies indulged a smothered groan; “Darling, are you sick ?” his mother Queried in an anxious tone. Then the foolish little -fellow Placed his hand upon his head And the other on his stomach— “Gosh !” he feebly, faintly said. Tapa hastened for the doctor, Mamma shrieked and tore her hair; But, before assistance reached him, James had climbed the golden stair. For there came a loud explosion, Bending foolidi James asunder— Filled too full of toothsome viands, He had bursted all (o thunder! And for several weeks they labored Ere enough, of James was found To adorn a modest comer T u the family bnrying-gronnil. Eugene Field. Only a Year A.go “But you have known me so short a time—only six weeks—how is it possible that you can love me?” “How is it possible? Rather ask how is it possible to avoid loving you ? And besides, is it really so incomprehensible Avis? You have known me just the same length of time, and yet—yet—I have ventured to liop9 that you—that you love me, dear. Oh, Avis, is the sweet hope false ? Have I deceived my seif? Or will you, indeed, confirm it by promising to be, some happy clay, nsy wife?” He would have caught and clasped the fair girl in his arms, but she, beeping him back bv a gesture of her little hand, while her great dark eyes were fixed with beseeching earnestness upon his face, answered: “It is not what I wish—or even what vou wish—that must be thought of, Mr. Roy, but your mother—your mother, who has been like a mother to me also, so good, so generous. What would she say”- voice, tremulous yet stern, inter A rupted her—a voice that made her start and turn in some confusion. “She would say that you are right in remembering her, Avis, and that sli© is glad of this proof of your gratitude: for the rest, Roy Livingstone s mother looks farther than her own family circle, and higher than to a poor dependent, how ever good or fair, when she seeks a bride for her only sou and a future mistress for The Laurels. Leavens, Avis. I do not blame you, child; forget this folly, ^t^ P^S^n son pmttycompanion your artist foly. s Joa picture, womd^at forsooth, and my wmle so doing have stolen her he: - lost your own. ]I m this; I should have been a • • Bu do you hope that I shall • tolerate such lolly.-' I overhead you girl, just now, to be your wile. “YoiKlia.” Tto 5 ou»g mm mmmmS genUy.jjut with a unmistakable. “I love her and I wiL her. ’ “Without my consent? ta Without . your mother’s blessing ? Is this the affection— the duty of mv own child?” He put his arms around her. “I shall never set you a r defiance, mother. and least of all for Avis’s sake. She is too good, too ardently attached to you to do aught that could wound you. But will you not Have compassion has for been us, also, mother? We love. Avis to vou as a daughter always; let it bo -t ” “** h “ ?■ training? I love her with a love that will not change. Unless you give mo Avis for a wife I shall not marry. “Absurd!” Mrs. Livingstone3 eyes flashed scornfully. “When our guests arrive to-day you will find many far superior to Avis. A foundling! It is not her poverty—we are rich enough— but her birth.” “We know nothing of it, and I care nothing. It is herself I love.” “Listen, Roy.” The lady’s proud hand face softened as she laid one white on her son’s shoulder, while his arm stole around her fondly. “You are.my only child; all my hopes are bound up in you. Let us not quarrel about this foolish girl. She is dear to me. also. Let us take time to think. Compare the girl : CONYERS, ROCKDALE CO., GA„ FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19,1884. witn others. When our guests are gone, if you are in the same mind, we will see what is best for all. Will you promise?” “To ivait for your consent until our guests are gone ? Yes, I can promise that.” "And, meantime, not to speak of this to Avis.” “That’s (harder, mother. But if you will tell her that you may consent, I will obey you.” that has “I will tell her every word passed between us*” said Mrs. Living¬ stone. And she meant to keep her promise. But Avis was not waiting for her, as she had expected. The girl had gone to her own room, sending to Mrs. Livingstone a piteous little message of excuse. Her head ached. Might she bo-allowed to keep her own chamber ? The lady smiled. “I will set her heart at rest tc-mor row,” she thought. “There is no time now.” For her expected guests were arriving. And when Roy looked at her inquir ingly, as he missed the girl— “She wished to keep her room to¬ night,” she whispered. “All will be well to morrow.” But when tomorrow came a sad sur prise came with i it. Avis had disap peared. “That grief I m&v not cause you or pain—you who have been to me a true mother—I fly from u temptation that would prove too strong it I remained. When I am gone your son will soon for¬ get, me. I pray God that ho may--lor his sake. But 1 shall not forget, nor cease to love you’ Farewell, little dearest friends. Forgive your Avis.” This was all; and she bad gone leaving no trace, making no further sign. ju Roy sought J her, with vain for even the help of detectives; having left home and , , to ,, the .. „ for that ,, , come city purpose; while Ins mother, no leas anxious for the eu<w for his siie absence. could °to After i&jfSSS&Z a month of weary ss» retnrned ' r* “No news,” he said, in Answer to bis mother’s anxious 1 question^ -Java .oat • all “nor hopp .will of finding her. ' bad passed . gentle Avis A year since disappeared, ami once made more The a gay Laurels party of merry guests bright and eheerfm, foiemost among them Rose Brandon, the beauty and heiress, and belle. A. mre.-tc favorite was s w stately Mrs. L'.vingstone, ana _ ore not wanted those who named ier » s the future mistress o; «e splendid but gloomy bouse which her beauty and joyous laughter made so bright, Even Roy Livingstone’s brow, on which the clond of disappointment habitual, cleared and regret had grown somewhat as his artist-eyes took in her fresh, proud loveliness, and as he Ha toned to her animated talk, the smi|e that had grown so rare stole to his lips and shone like a light in his eyes, His mother watching him, smiled, too, well pleased. “Is fehenot beantnul? she . whispered .. , to him. “She would make a lair and gracious queen tor i he Laurels, hoy. But the gloom came back to his f c<? as be answered sad’ v : “My gneen went luto exile, mother, a y (;a j 0 g O . I have a constant he^rt, and cannot transfer my allegiance.” “Roy!” cried the clear, merry voice jiose Brandon— “Boy, have yon g; vpn np painting? Yon used to no so arab j bons> Only a year ago, I remem ber> you were enthusiastic about seme picture that was to bring you fame. SSirieSr?”. 0 ; * ? ^ T “ w A kind H «hnl toil on the company; iDB , lucUTC i y they tol; they * *“■ gerous ground. hvm the i h ijappy voice took a softer tone as qnestioneu genriy : picture, .toy ? -May we see the He arose without a woi i and leu the way to tire library, iue gneats all follow iug lwl ,, T K .... m . W ,„n Sir., Cnr* *>«• fair, . sad friend> Mrs. Grey, a woman with silver hair. . M rs. Grey was a great invalid, and , unconquerable bad preyed upon her heart for years and broken down her fragile body. .She leaned heavily on Mrs. Livingstone s arm. she asked “What is this peturer her. wWu . of . I T reared , “The portrait one child,/and whom and loved ns my own we unaccountably lost, owirng to an on happy misunderstanding. tSbe was a SSfMLT I ip.rtl , ^ q/ the many liaintugs on the 0 nlv was concealed by a heavy ca mirtahr r u Bov drew the orkuson folds ." * “ . ^An exClamatioo fto*n Mn. Grey admira aud K 03e Branddn and a munaur»/of the t£ 0 n from all the rest bc.re witness to loveliiiC-se of the image thi.t was dis fed. pressed forward, eagerly, jfrs Grey the for &er weakness seeming for time ° -rotten girl, fair Xheportrait ofa grae An 1 as a lnv-flower; the lovely wis-tf-.t eyes, with 'world <f loving tenderr.sF iu their ml d;;i"ht depths, looked ouv irem a f-.ce , xonisile l> s.uty . but • ivory, Hear and pale; a tender,*dimpling Aptray eruile of upon - b8 gcarlet lips, » trailing scar- let blossoms in the blue-black hair, soft and glossy as the raven’s wing—a simple robe of white, and on one lovely suowv arm a curious golden bracelet. This was all. Mrs. Grey stood like one entranced, her agitation visible to all. Her deli¬ cate hands were tightly locked together; lier breath came in quick gasps. “How like !” she murmured; “how strangely like ! In heaven’s name, who is she “My adopted daughter,” Mrs. Liv¬ ingstone replied, for Roy had turned aside in silence* overcome by the sight of the beauty he had loved and lost. “Twelve years ago I took her—-then five years old—from a poor old fisherman down on the beach, three or four miles away. He had rescued her from the sea on the night of a great storm, two years before, and had cherished and cared for her tenderly; but finding sickness and old aae fast robbing him of health and strength, he sought to find a friend for his little girl in me. “Imagination cannot picture anything lovelier than the child was then. 1 loved her at first sight, and have loved her always. I adopted, educated her, and brought her up ns my own. I have tho clothes she wore when she was found, but they furnish no clue to. her parentage, but* on her arm, clasped firm¬ ly above the elbow, was a bracelet; it fits her slender wrist now; you see she wears it in the portrait; upon it is a single word—the old fisherman took it to be her name, and so called her; we never changed it. ‘Avis’ was the word, and ‘Avis.’ she is called.” A cry from Mrs. Grey interrupted her; she slink upon her knees before the picture with outstretched arms. “Avis !” she cried. “My child—it is my child ! Fourteen years ago the cruel sea washed her and her father from my arms. The waves restored him dead. Out she was seen no more, Where is ghe-ob, where is she ? And lUe cloUie »'she won ?” jfeisr •»»_ Livingstone hastened from the Weeihil wTth r* wl,h love and iov the long bereaV ed mother identified them all. “Blessed be the merciful Heaven that has kept he* safely, and restored her to me alter all these years. Anil you, my friend,” turning to Mrs. Livingstone, “hew shaii I thank you for your Jove and eare? Oh, bring her to mo. Let me clasp her once more m my arms. Why , lo you hesitate? I am strong enough, joy does not kill. What is it?” sbo continued wildly, gazing with grow j j n g fear n pon the pa'e averted face of mother and son. “Has harm befallen m £ y child? Havo I found her only to Io her? Avis, my daughter ! Where is she?” Rose Brandon rushed to her side. “Be calm,” she cried. is safe and well. No harm has come' to her, Listen to mo ’ lean tell yon where to ; ‘ ba( ] ber ” “Yonit was Roy who-spoke. 1 “You ’ , kflow 4vis “I j, know her well but I have never know unt , b this moment, of her con nection with this family. Whv have vou ke pt your loss and‘grief a secret, I Roy? j could have helped you, had known your troubles long ago.” to “It is nearly a year since she came ns, in answer to an advertisement for a music governess for little Ida. Mother -was sick when first, she called and con sequently I received her. She was so beautiful and innocent mid yet so sad and friendless, that my whole heart went out to tier from the first. She told me the simple story of her adoption here and of Roy’s love and hers, but without mentioning a single name, so that I “ b g 8be C: , m to us and has dw If with ns ,-v. r since, quiet and sad, <. b jld, f but k to and kindly cared 1 tJe t „ t home witb aud mother when I ourne away. She is there ' nov/ - L L , ■ luig.-fom , r-aueht aught her her hands baud' in Ntthimniii. ' t»ra . wi.hem uio.. Have hove g ve “® “g.ck n -.ppmesv and love, Grey, f v. ill bring .your Daughter to 'ou. I g<» by the trim u«ni m .ha'It an hour; before ah and ht her m your arms, vmu, . was g no. , ^ * , !, r ; ;™ wiii.A.r f2r fille. the lorn .y sehoc.-roomi that after noo.., out oixasio). j fiishes_ ol ligtit from a small uit chee. .r. are e stenaer fagurethat oat before it in a low SSSfcfV lid.o ber of Roy. Ancie was he? How fared he? .Had he forgotten Avis? Alas! poor Avia cold si not lorget! Hark! was that A footstep in ‘he hall outside the door. Nothing in that to make the eyes so bright amt the pale cheess flush to vivid crimson ! Ah, but it nad sounded like Boy’s footstep. Roy’s foototep here—what Hie (.learning. What stiNnge tricks fancy jnayed her o.teu Sue contd close , , her eyes aud .. bide . her face in her hands as now—now, partly for ber shame at her own fondfoilv— and fancy, oh, suen things. Fancy li” Laurels tier happy home once more, and Mrs. Livingstone her kind adopted mother l FanoyKry s teimar smne and ' NO. 40. loving looks; recall the very words he spoke— his earnest tone—liis sigh. ~ ? That fancy, What was that, was not surely? She sat quite still—her face still covered by her hands—and lis¬ tened ; a sigh had sounded close beside her, breathed like the very echo of her dream ; and now a voice—oh, heaven, what voice !—whispered her name : “Avis! -Look at me, Avis !” She turned, she rose, gazed for one moment in his face as if bewildered; then, with a cry of love and joy unutter¬ able: “Roy! my beloved !” sprang to the arms and sank on the breast of her true lover. “Yon have found me!” she cried. “You have found me!” “Never to lose you again, Avis—never again!” “And mother ?” your searched his face Her great, eyes timidly, anxiously. “She will welcome you as I do. We shall part no more. Yon will learn, dear, that she never meant to part us. Anil another waits for you. Oh, come, love, come to the heart that aches to wel come you—to tho arms of your own true mother.” * * Onl/ one month later a brilliant bridal party aroused to joy and mirth the slumbering echoes of The Laurels. And who so fair as Avis, the sweet bride, with her iroop of lovely laughed brides¬ maids, of whom Rose Brandon and blushed, the merry chief ? Who so rich, so proud, so happy as Avis now? Avis, the foundling, found, indeed, at last, and by her own true mother; Avis, the lost, restored to all who loved and mourned her; Avis, the joyful bride ef the generous, noble lover who, in the days of her poverty and nameless¬ ness—in spite of time, and absence, and silence, and desertion—loved her faith¬ fully and truly to the last. Advice to Young Sportsmen, <■ “ “ “ *• muzzle of a gun that is dangerous, there suMsaafir* Nevcl : P ut yom hfmd °!® r the muzz 0 ^le^ouTgun t Xtoit isToS. with 0 “ breach-loading gun re¬ bounding i mmmer s. A muzzle-loading «* rm U j 8 both inconvenient and dangerous b . HflD £ ne rless gnn8 aro beautiful and convenieilt weapons, but they are not fit for , to use, especially boys who are iustbeginning to shoot, “ hunting in with if you aro company others, he careful and courteous, always refraining from shooting at birds that flushed nearer to your companions than to you, and do not allow your gun under any circumstances, to point at, or in the direction of any human being, Open your gun at the breech and take out both shells beforo climbing over a fence, getting into a wagon, going into a house, or banding the gun to a person not used to fire-arms. Never drag a gun toward you muzzle foremost. with Treat an unloaded gun the same care that you would use in handling a loaded one. “I did not know it was loaded,” has caused many terrible acoi dents, When out hunting, observe every thing, so as to remember the minutest details of visiblo nature. Knowledge thus gathered is invaluable, Boys, when hunting "together, should be very cautions in thick covert; as there, one maybe quite near another and not see him.— St, Nicholas for Co iober. Ilie Ruling' I’assion. A GAMBLER STOCKS THE CARDS ONCE TOO OFTEN AND NOW ’VfiAIiS PLASTER. It is not often men reform after they c^XeTA i scheme of practical reform. Ho had as a single man been fond of poker. In deed, as a measure of economy, being tired of supporting several institutions in town on a limited income, he made a big bluff' at matrimony. Ho thought he could master the gambling and* propensity bhmhing k v teaching his young lered int« it with »U her he«rt and soui. THte stakes were beans, coffee beans plaiD innocent apd healthful articles of after-dinner rt freshmen gambling t. But> ^ tbe spirit grew upon her and one fatal game upset the of their lovely home. He had been honest with her. He had con cealed his deep knowledge of the game. his But there came a time when he saw c]iaJJC0 md t<K>k it Re stocked the cards Re gave her four kings and he himself took four aces. Her eves glia She grabbed half of her pile and 5»' '“L,d“a Sr tt“e*nU„£ £, .Mu i! JL & «.e same place, seized the canister, ana, re turning in wild excitemeiit, turned it up on tbe table. Against her four ksng3 were four little spots. There wai a pause for a moment He ha: had his hair cut and wears a piece of piaster where the tin can struck him, aud tho lady in waiting finds co8V>; Ivans vet aH over the house .—Chronicle Undertones. i “Well, well, my dear ?” id bus band to iiLs seoidn just j l>oen surpas-ing 1 xhibirioB oi temper, “f’v ariar and j brimstone, and ' think ot one and the ffy*er of TEE JOKER’S BUDGET. WHAT WE F1NO IN THE HUMOR¬ OUS COLUMNS TO MAKE US SMILE. Tli» Rivals—He was Very A nary—A Clear Count—A Military Man—'l'lie Decaying Year, Etc., Etc. STRIKING CONTRASTS. Parmer John—“Wall, wall! Edication is a great thing, arter all. Here is this book that artist chap left here. Ef I’d a known what it says I’d made my for¬ tune years ago, and it ain’t too late yet.” painting pic¬ Mrs. John—“Is it about tures?” “No; it’s about colors. It says, ‘Light blue when contrasted with very dark blue appears white. » “Why, John, I can’t see what differ¬ ence that makes. It’s no use to us.” “It ain’t! Well, you see, I’ll double the sales of my milk in a week. ” “How under the canopy can you do that, John ?” “I’ll paint our milk wagon very dark blue, ”—Philadelphia Call. GENEROUS AT LEAST. A married lady had been staying for some time at the seaside and she was joined by a friend from the city who in a burst of confidence told her that her husband was having a high old time while site was away. “Oh, well,” she said, “I am not there, of course, and I suppose it’s all right. But how did you know ?” “I left San Francisco this morning and Charley did not come home until 3 o’clock. He told me he had been out with your husband all night.” The listener smiled and when she got homo read over very quietly a letter from her husband, dated from Chicago and just received. tell gossip She was generous. Charley She did not the that must have forgotten to fix up his lie with discretion .—San Francisco Chron¬ icle, THE DECAYING YEAH. Tho farmer the is busy thrashing. I hear muffled blows, And also the fellow yelling Who gets the flail on the toes. I hoar the partridge drumming Among the beeches dense, And I see the chipmunk muning Along the old rail-fence. And out in the russet stubble The quail doth sweetly pipe, And upon the breakfast-table The old slap-jack is ripe.— Puck. AFTER THIS ELECTIONS. “Woll, I thought it was going just as it did.” “Ah, did you? So did I.” “Indeed; what made you think so?” “Well, “Oh, I I dunno; dunno why either.” did you?” “Good-day.” .”—Poston “Good-day Post. WHAT HE ESCAPED. “Where have you been for the last three months ?” “I’ve been in Europe. I was Nobody in Mar¬ seilles, and had the cholera. knows what I suffered. ”• “Well, you were in lack. That ac¬ counts fo» your looking so w elL Sup¬ pose you had remained here, and gone • through all this Presidential racket, as I have had to do. Yon would be in your grave now. You don’t know what suf¬ fering is.”— Texas Siftings. WnAT MADE HIM MAD. They were alone. He was stretched on the sofa looking into the grate, won¬ dering why coal was not sold for $5 a ton instead of $6.50. She was reading the morning paper. A conversation—a dialogue—occurred: “Hubby, dear?” “What is it, pet?” jersey “You needn’t buy me that we were looking at. I wouldn’t wear one for the world. Here is au article that says the pleuro-pneumonia has broken out amoDg the Jerseys and many have died.” He took the tongs and pulled Without down the motto, “What Is Home a Mother,” from the wall and stuck it in the lire. It was tho last pleasant even¬ ing of their lives .—Chicago Herald. A COUNT. “For heaven’s sake, what are you do¬ ing, Mr. Schueidervrow ?” exclaimed the leader of the orchestra to the sec¬ ond violin; “you’re not keeping time at all; count the beats, man, count the beats.” Mr. Schneidervro w dropped his bow, looked over the audience of deadheads and exclaimed in despair : “It vas impossible 1” He had misunderstood the leader’s meaning .—Boston Transcript. A MILITARY ITEM. Mrs. Sniverly is the wife of the cap¬ tain of a New York militia company. She attended a review not long since at which her husband was the commanding officer. Mrs. Sniverly laughed all the way home, and when, after she got home, she was asked what was the cause • of her merriment she replied: in the “It was the funniest thing world to see my husband, who never dares to open Iris mouth at home, ordering all those men about, and they doing just what he told them to do. Why don’t he try that game on me ?” HOW nAIRS MOVE. “James, you wretch ! How did that hair get c»n your coat ? It’s a red one, too! Tell me, now !” “Soothe yourself, my love, soothe yourself. I suppose it got on in the street-car— canght on as 1 leaned back, you know.” of “But. how did it get on the breast your coat? Oh, 5T ' It couldn't get O “Pshaw ! That comes from not hav J ‘-f n Gapiilary attr»c f gnriace v ‘ p )v dear, ea-.illary attraction.”-Nf. ’ 1 n ‘ "• y preferred to be DOM* “Why, Mary, have yon come back to be a hired girl again f I thought you left us tc get married and have a house of your own.” “So I did, mum.” back “Well, what have you come for?” - ' John’s done “Well, ye see, muni, hired girl, party well, an’ we kep* a too. an’ I'm kind o’ tired av the way of Jito. 1 1 bought I’d like to come back at’ be hose aginiur a whiie.”- -St.