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About The Solid South. (Conyers, Ga.) 1883-1892 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 21, 1886)
Satur day by th e every AI ;rvri“ Idox, ! proprietors. gCftlPTlON- 25. . $1 65 35 ipy fr ee ‘ ££1S?K>— j of a small town Sasss; men We give a few arry?" »ses: I’ve been trying f° r rhat d out. r. , w fi n with her to get even W.” never have, work. 1 am too lazy to X. V. Sarah told me that five men had proposed^ Ci to ffl an thought eight enough. years ras almost long B. f and melancholy, somebody to make me She makes me very D. Hred of buying ice cream L and going to theaters |b, and wanted a rest, d money. J.” don’t stir me up. e I thought she was one thousand; now I some b she is a thousand among E.” t it was because I was . aow I am afflicted with if cross-eyes daily. Peter.’ e I did not have the ex f | have now. r\ «• i> the same fool question _ that s and neighbors ask ine. C. P.” te I had more money in what to do with. Now [re to do than I have D.” mon B. led a companion of the op [, P. S.—She is still op Bob. n pention it. F. r. ifficultv unlocking the door pnd wanted somebody A.” to embarrassed and gave my lenefit of my name so that ike the benefit of her name a check. Scuoggs.” se it is just my luck. P. J.” ot intend to go to do it, 8 .” Irned le for company, We it all the time. Karl,” exhausted all the figures ritkiuetic to figure out an [o fation your and question. division Between in the md distraction in addition, p is hard to arrive at. Old Man.” ried to get the best wife in !• Simon.” ise I asked her if she’d She said she would. I e’s got me. M. V- W.” [in ped three chapters.—Chap¬ [on. Chapter one. Chapter II.: III.: Made p is a link which binds its |to heaven and causes its r c hase all over the house I 6 paregoric bottle. ;*y [pe. friends, I had a wonder Thirteen of my com “nd a watery grave through l!Z!D S ot ’ a boat.” “And how •u were not drowned with 7, it home.” “Simple enough—I B ^hman, mourning his wife, 1 exclaimed: “Faith an’ she ? ^ woman; she always hit so ft end o’ the mop.” «ween | s sa *d to be a sort of sym extremes. To Ulus “y a , homely 1 turned man’s head ot by J a pretty wo- ig the war there were many ‘ad jokes about substitutes, men who had returned ar were boasting before «£Tr i 0De d “ and >■»">« undergone, on enli ^edthe A who had man stay L bls ls allv ery fine and c - i> n after . j JJ,, d not you came f , come back; the ^ HiD&8 unous . ’ of Newna peachtree n, says iagtwoLT at f “ H Df eAuifn-t DdS \ On the south ,whC rw!\ I fa he ache80f Oorth ^de a Plum ed are he peaches. The .grafted eed and haSnev S Th - . the u ! has borne 18 Secoad for fi it haV tf fesi °fsaie A” v S ® W York ^- sore feet We don’t for cLc° gS m this - ,ts use to office, re feev those Solid Yol. 4. HOW TO BE MISERABLE. In the first place, if you want to make yourself miserable, be selfish: Think all the time of yourself and your things. Don’t care about any¬ thing else. Have no feelings for ~ yourself. Never think any one but of enjoying the satisfaction of see ing others happy, but rather if you see a smiling face, he jealous lest an¬ other should enjoy what you have not. Envy every one who is better off than yourself; think unkindly to¬ wards them and speak lightly of them. Be constantly afraid less some one should encroach on your rights, be watchful against it and if any of them should come near your things snap at them like a mad dog. Con tend earnestly for every thing that is your own that may not be worth a pin. Never yield a point. Be very sensitive, and take everything that is said to you in playfulness in the most serious manner. Be jealous of your friends lest they should not think enough of you, and if at any time they should seem to neglect you, put the worst construction upon their conduct. One of the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of the successful advance of the Prohibition move ment is the fact that poison has been discovered in lemonade, ice cream and soda water. A man will have to drink whisky or run the risk of be¬ reaving his family by climbing to a higher and better world. Ministers who preach long ser mons—in the summer—will be in terested in the comments of their smallest hearers. One of them, when asked w’hat lesson was to be learned from the story of Paul and Eutychus, replied: should learn Please, sir, ministers not to preach too long sermons!” Another, a little 4 year old, com • mented thus:, “Mamma, that minis¬ ter preached me all to hunger!” A person may have an intellectu¬ al forehead, hut that does not nee essarily make him intellectually foi ward. Hats are now manufactured from woodpulp, and some heads will be more heavily timbered than ever. “The pretty’ girl must go,” remarks a soured and embittered contempory. The pretty’ girl does go—goes and marries “the other fellow.” Texas editors have no music in their souls. Oneat Dallas who was serenaded with a chorus of sixteen voices said in his paper that “the peaceful night was brokefa by the screams of a gang of hyenas.” “Always aim a little higher than the mark,” says an exchange. What, kiss a girl on the nose? Never! “Lunches thrown in,” is a promi¬ nent motto in some localities. Any¬ body who will take the trouble to watch the lunch counter will admit that they are. An exchange publishes the follow¬ ing lines under a death notice: Alas, ’tis Mother that is gone. The one we least could spare, But her soul it is happier to-day sphere. Than it was in this miserable Her sufferings here, they were long, But her patience was immense, Her love and charity for all, God has given recompense. “By an uufortunate typographical editor error,” explains the contrite of a Dakota paper, “we were made to say last week that our distinguish ed townsman, Prof. Kennedy, was about to rig up a nobby babboon for the comfort and enjoyment of his daughter on her wedding trip over the prairies. What we meant to say w as a nobby balloon. We write this with our left hand, while lying entirely on our spare bed, with one eye closed and the other hand painted, and an inverted chair across our stomach for a writing table. The ex¬ tent of our regret for the blunder may be measured by the difficulties we have surmountted in penning this explanation.” Marrying men to reform them has never been a successful enterprise on the part of women. Girls are worth too much unmarried to sacrifice themselves to beat sense into the head of any’ man on God’s footstool. Such a man does not wean so easily as a calf. He will go home only to sober up, and then not till the other places are closed. A girl will marry such a man, hoping that on next year he will he better; but the next year he will be worse. There are sober boys enough for all the girls; and there is no need for marrying a drunkard. When can you be said to swallow glass ware? When you buy a tumb ler and goblet iV ■ TRUTH, JUSTICE AND PROGRESS FOREVER. CONYERS, GEORGIA, AUGUST 21, 1886. HOW THEY DISSOLVED. John Holmes, although rude in speech and at times vulgar, was the humorous champion of the North. Ever on the watch for some ungarded expression by a Southern Senator, no sooner would one be uttered than he would pounce upon it and place the speaker in a most uncomfortable po situm. John Tyler one day’ thought that he could annoy Mr. Holmes and asked him what had become of that political firm once mentioned in debate by John Randolph as “James Madison, Felix Grundy, John Holmes and the Devil.” Mr. Holmes rose at once, “I will tell the gentleman,” said he, “what has be¬ come of that firm. The first mem¬ ber is dead, the second is gone in to retirement, the third now ad¬ dresses you, and the last has gone over to the nullifiers and is now lec tioneering among the gentleman’s constituents. So the partnership is legally dissolved.” An exchange says: “After you get on your ear and make up your mind to stop your paper to humili¬ ate the editor, just poke your finger in water and then pull it out and look for the hole. Then you will see how badly you are missed The man who thinks a paper cannot survive without his support oughtto go off and stay awhile. When he comes back he will find half his friends didn’t know he was gone; the other half didn’t care a cent, and the world at large did not keep any account ofhis movements whatever. You will probably find some things in the home paper you cannot en¬ dorse. If you were to stop your pa¬ per and call the editor all sorts of ugly names, the paper still would be published, and you would sneak around and borrow a copy. It is much better to keep your vest pull¬ ed down and y r our subscription paid up.” Why are ladies’ eyes like friends separated by distant climes? Be¬ cause they corresspond but never meet. Notwithstanding all the modern improvements of husbandry, the matrimonial harvest is still gather ed by’ the cradle and thrashed by¬ hand. It is a mistake to sup) ose that women have stronger attachments than men. A man is often attached to an old hat; but who ever heard of a woman being attached to an old bonnet.” Col. S. W. Hawkins, of the Cov¬ ington Enterprise, is a candidate for the legislature in Newton county. In a card to the public he says: “In the absence of a better solution of the vexed chain-gang or convict question, I favor a general law by which the respective counties in the state can work their convicts on the public roads. Being a laboring man myself I am opposed to convict la bor coming in close and direct com¬ petition with free and honest work¬ ingmen of this state. Humanity ap¬ peals for some kind of a change in the chain-gang system, and a change must be made so soon as the present lease expires.” Dr. J. H. McLean, the famous pill maker, and ex-member of con¬ gress, is dead. He was a resident of St. Louis, but died at Dansville, New York, in a sanitarium to which he had gone seeking health. Dr. McLean was born at Ayrshire, Scot¬ land, 1829, but his parents removed to America in 1830. After an event¬ ful youth in which he was business manager of coal mines, druggist, trader and physician, the energetic McLean settled down to making infallible liver pills and rolling up over a million dollars thereby. He published and contributed to the Spirit of the Age, a monthly found that lived several years. He also ed the “Morning Call,” a daily newspaper that died in two months. He owned $300,000 worth of real es¬ tate in St. Louis, and was president of the Mannfactiirer’8 Saving hank. The doctor leaves a wife and two adopted children. His only child, a daughter, five years old, recently died and the shock hastened his own death. College professor: “What was the principal requirement among the an¬ cient Romans for a funeral with pub¬ lic honors?” Student: “A corpse?” A man breathes twenty times a minute, except when he is about to put the important question to his best girl. Then he breathes twenty times a second. Dr. Felton and T. Warren Akin have declared themselves indepen¬ dent candidates for the legislature from Bartow. * STEWART FOE CONGRESS. The democracy of the fifth con¬ gressional district has spoken, and its verdict is that Judge J. D. Stew art be the district’s representative in the next congress. In so decid ing, it honors a worthy citizen, a sterling man and an upright judge, who will wear, with credit to himself and liis constituents, the victory’ which he has so brilliantly won. Judge Stewart has the esteem and confidence of the people of the whole district, and has many warm friends throughout the state, who will watch his congressional career with deep in¬ terest, and with the firm conviction that he is, iD every way, worthy of the honorable and responsible trust to which he will be elected. But in choosing Judge Stewart, the district defeats for re-election its present representative, Hon. N. J. Hammond, whose brilliant services on the floor of the national house for the past eight years have justly’ en¬ titled him to the rank of leadership with his party colleagues. Mr. Ham mond has, at all times, exercised a conscientious devotion to his duty’, and, by his ability, skill and perse¬ verance, has not only done much good and obtained great benefits for his immediate constituents, but by force of these same qualities, and through his valuable experience, he extended usefulness beyond national the limns of his district. On questions, his opinions were sought and were highly valued as second on the judiciary’ committee of this house and the prospective chairman of the next, he had Dot a superior as an earnest, influential, faithful, cner getic and conscientious representa tive he was one, among many, who achiever! national distinction. Atlanta loses the representative, but with the absolute confidence that in the hands of the new member, her interests will he as safely’ guarded as though he were one of her own sons. —Constitution. The analysis which Mr. Blaine makes of tiie character of the late Mr. Tiiden in his book, “Twenty Years in Congress,” is rather This in teresting at this time. is what he says: “Adroit, ingenious and wary, skillful to plan and strong to execute, cautious in judgment and vigorous in action, taciturn and mysterious as a rule, and yet singu larly open and frank on occasions, resting on the old traditions yet leading in new pathways, surprising in the force of his blows and yet leaving a sense of reserved power, Mr. Tiiden unquestionably ranks among the greatest masters of po litical management that our day has seen.” No bald headed man is taken into the United States army as a recruit. This rule has been adopted to con ciliate the friendly Indians. Noth ing exasperates an Indian so much as to kill a United States soldier and then be deprived of the satisfaction of scalping him. A rustic youngster, being asked out to tea with a friend, was ad monished to praise the eatables. Presently the butter was passed to him, when he remarked: “Very nice butter—what there is of it,” and, observing a smile, he added: “and plenty of it—such as it is.” An agricultural society daughters, offers premiums to farmers’ “girls under twenty-one years of age,” who shall exhibit the best lots of butter, not less than ten pounds. “This is all right,” says local papers, “save the atrocious in¬ sinuation that some girls are over twenty-one years of age.” There is some satisfaction in not being a man of distinction. When you die all the cheap composers will not seize upon the occasion to rush out upon a much-afflicted public their machine made music in the guise of a “Funeral March” to your memory. Politics in Tennessee has assum¬ ed a peculiar phase. Bob and Alfred Taylor are brothers, and each has received the nomination for Govern er. Bob is the Democratic nominee, w.rile Alfred is the Republican. The Taylor family is bound to be successful, as the race now stands. Even the prisoners in the Atlanta jail have whiskey. A distillery was discovered in a cell recently. The moonshiners in jail used corn bread and an oil lamp for the purpose. The spirit ran through the spout of a coffee pot. Enough tolerably g~joA whiske\- was thus manufactured to supply the inmates. On Saturday Athens voted $35, 000 in bonds in aid of the Techno¬ logical Scboolin that place. No. 31. A LITTLE POLITICAL. These three paragraphs Monday’s are Atlanta ex tracted from Journal: Ernest M. Word, of Delvalb, the choice of that county, for senator of the Thirty-fourth district is a young man of strong intellectual force, moral power, and indomitable pluck. Honest, conscientious and firm, he will do his whole duty to his constituents and the state. II' elected president of the senate, for which he will be pressed, he will make a dignified, impartial and able presiding officer. The honesty, fidelity and integ¬ rity of Hon. N. J. Hammond, who has served this district in congress for the past eight years, during the campaign just closed, was never questioned. It was admitted that he was an earnest and influential member. While the verdict has been in favor of his competitor, it carries w r ith it no reflection upon Mr. Hammond. The people wanted a change, and thought that Judge J. D. Stewart would meet all their requirements of a representative. Spald Judge J. D. Stewart, of ing county, who will be the choice of the democracy of the Fifth Con¬ gressional district for congress, is a gentleman of the most spotless in¬ tegrity and sterling character. In every relation of life and position in society he has challenged the admi ration and received the esteem and confidence of the people. The peo¬ ple have unlimited faith in him that he will make them as good a repre sentative in congress as ever repre sented any people in the halls of congress. The Journal does not hesitate to declare its firm belief that Judge J. D. Stewart will be found in every way worthy of the honor con¬ ferred upon him. Whenever a statesman dies a good deal is said about the chances of nobody's filling the dead man’s shoes. There is very little difficulty in that. There are plenty of men with feet big cnoiurh. It is the great man’s hat that is hard to fill President Cleveland on Saturday appointed Captain W. T. Newman, of Atlanta, to the position ot United Stales District Judge, to succed the late Judge McKay. Captain New nan’s appointment is one of the very best that could have been made and will give universal satisfaction. The salary is $3,500 a year, and he holds office for life or during good be havior. Dalton is so prosperous under prohibition rule that it would be quite a difficult thing to reinstate King Alcohol. Caterpillars are proving dcstruct ive to cotton in Dougherty county. Several bar rooms in Darien will godly in January’for want of bus¬ iness. Augusta has formed a bycicle club, and it is interesting to see Congressman Barnes ride one. Athens voted for issuing $35,000 in bonds to the school of Technology bj’ a vote of 1,320 for to 47 against. Saturday’s primaries in the Fifth District resulted in the selection of Stewart delegates, thereby defeat¬ ing Colonel Nat Hammond for con gress. While Mr. Stewart will make a good representative, Mr. Hammond’s defeat can be looked upon as a national mishap.—Augus ta News. The supreme court of New Hamp shire has got squarely down to bus¬ iness on the rights of the Salvation Army. It has rendered a decision denying the rights of the Salvation¬ ists to beat their drums in the streets of any city, town or village of the state, not because the drum beating is of itself contrary to the law or destructive of the public peace, but because by this method of public worship they interfere with the peaceable services of other public worshippers. This is sense as well as justice. Interesting Experiences. Hiram Cameron, Furniture Dealer of Columbus, Ga., tells his experi ence, thus “For three years have tried every remedy on the market for Stomach and Kidney Disorders, hut got no relief, until I used Electrict Bitters. Took five bottles and am now cured, aud think Electric Bitters the Best Blood Purifier in the world.” —Major A. B. Reed, of West Liberty, Ky., used Electrict Bitters for anold standing Kidney affection and says: “Nothing has ever done me so ranch good as Electric Bitters.”— Sold at fifty cents bottles by Dr. W. H. Lee. 30 B ~^OF ALL KIND DONEES NEATLY AND PE0MPTLY. ADVERTISING RATES MADE KNOWN ON DEMAND. Pay for advertisements is always due after the first insertion, unless otherwise contracted for. Guaranteed positions 20 per cent extra. Entered postoffice as second-class mail matter. STATUEE OF GREAT MEN. A young man of New York re¬ cently asked the Sun the following question: discussion night I “In a the other claimed that the majority’ of the world’s great men were of large stat¬ ure. Am I right?” The men who are commonly ac countedgreat may be of small or large stature. Samuel J. Tiiden, the fore¬ most American citizen of our period, and a man of extraordinary intel¬ lectual breadth and capacity, was short, slight, and throughout his life delicate in health, though with a strong vitality and much nervous force. Mr. Gladstone is a tall man, so, also, is Bismarck, but Disraeli was of middle height only, and Na¬ poleon Bonaparte was short, while Wellington was not tall. Jefferson was tail, thin and angular, but Al¬ exander Hamilton was slight and considerably under middle stature. Franklin was short and fat, and I’e ter Cooper was only about five feet six. Commodore Vanderbilt was tall and commanding, but Jay Gould is short and unimpressive in his physical appearance. Grant was short and also was McClellan. Farragnt was a rather small man, but Robert E. Lee was of a com¬ manding stature, as was aiso Charle¬ magne, but Hannibal was very small and Julius Caesar was not above medium height. whom These, we suppose, are men you would call great, but you see some of them were short, and only a few were remarkable for their stat¬ ure. It might, perhaps, he said generally that such men are more apt to be under than above the av cragc height; for what you call greatness largely depends application, on capac¬ and ity for continuous on the whole, the most enduring men and the best proportioned are if apt to he those of medium stature, not those somewhat under the medium. The Chicago News gives this crit? icism of Rev. Sam Jones and his so called slang style of preaching: “What we remarked of the Rev. Sam Jones several months ago is becoming the general opinion now, as we see it expressed in Mr. di¬ vers exchanges. We said that Jones was a common scold, and a slangy one, and predicted that he could not long retain his hold on public popularity. There is noth¬ ing more tedious than slang—there is nothing that wears out sooner slang- or drops further. Mr. Jones is a wbanger; his rambunctious speeches do not please us—-they simply make us feel sorry for Mr. Jones and for the cause he represents. We do not believe that the Christian religion should be dragged down to the gut¬ ter; the habitues ot the gutter, we think, should rather be raised to the dignity and purity that of relig¬ ion. We approve of no methods that are calculated to abate to the extent of one jot or one tittle that reverence and that awe in which di¬ vinity and the worship of divinity have always been invested. And it speaks well for the religions senti¬ ment of the people of our of disapprov¬ country, we think, that the seal al has been put upon the coarse methods of the Georgia evangelist.” An amusing incident occurred efc the meeting in Lexington Sunday. An old colored sister and her daughter attended the big meeting at St. James, and all at once the whole multitude, for there were at least 3 or 4 hundred, began shouting. This old sister ran to her daughter Nel¬ lie, and said: “Here, daughter, hold my bonnet; I want to shout.” Nellie quickly responded: “I ain’t gwine to do it. I want to shout too.” So they, being strangers in the community, had to give up their de¬ sire to shout, because they would not hold each other’s bonnets and had no one else to do so^ The body of an Egytian king was taken from its tomb recently, where it had reposed 3,000 years, and ex¬ amined. An inseription in an an cient language was found upon his breast, which some affirm states that he was a civil service reformer. “What would our wives say if they knew where we were?” said the captain of a schooner, when they were beating about in a thick tog. fearful of going on shore. “Humph! I shouldn’t rnind that.” replied the mate, “if we only knew where we were ourselves.” The substitution of the whipping post for the chain gang as a punish¬ ment for the lower grades of crime would greatly improve the punitive Spart* system of this State, says the lshinaclite.
