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About A Friend of the family. (Savannah, Ga.) 1849-1??? | View Entire Issue (March 30, 1850)
Eutorcd according to Act of Congress, in the year 1850, in the Southern District of Georgia.] MAJOR JONES’ COURTSHIP, OR Adventures of a Clmslmas-Eve: A DOMESTIC COMEDY, J*Y TWO ACTS. By Major Joseph Jones. Scene 111. —A Mood. Enter Crotchett and Dr. Jones in haste. Crotchett.- Whew! Thank Heaven, we’ve escaped from that dweadful Majaw. I’d rather encounter a wild bear than have him hold of me again. I do believe he’s broken every finger I’ve got. Dr. J. —What a terrible look he had out of his eyes ! Crotchett. —Perfectly teruiffic; and that dweadful groan made my heart quake within me. Did y*ou e\cr see such a remarkable phenome non ? I can’t account for it on any pwinciple of natural science. Dr. J. —1 have often heard that such experiments are dangerous with persons of peculiar tempera ments. But I never heard of such a remarkable case of spasmodic convulsions. Crotchett.— Wliy, it was so sudden, and so unaccountable. I had just got him completely under the inllu ence, and was about to make some experiments for the amusement ot the ladies, when suddenly the fel- : low seized me by the wrists with die gripe ofa vice, and—and— you observed how lie looked out of his eyes. Dr. J. —l never saw such a look from nnv human. 1 fear he’s a ma niac for life. (A groan from with out.) Hark! what’s that? 7 Eater Major Jones , looking wildly as . before. Crotchett. —It’s the Majaw ! Ugh ! Let’s fiv! Dr. J.—Ugh! Oh! Run Crotch ett, for your life ! [Exit Crotchett and Dr. J. Major. —(Laughing.) —Ha ! ha ! There the}’ go, like rabits from a woods afire! Well, I never did believe in animal magnetism before. But if it didn’t work well that time, I’m no judge. I reckon that ani mal won’t be try in it on anybody about my size agin, in a burry. The imperent cus, to be pokin his dratted fingers about m3’ Mary’s butiful face, the second time be ever seed her in bis lile ; and then logo and try to make a fool of me right before my r eyes! It it hadn’t been for fear of frightenin the galls too bad, I’d jest let him went ahead with his freenological experiments, and when he touched my organ ot knockdownativeness, I’d give him astrikin illustration of his humbug science, that he wouldn’t forget in a hurry, I’ll be bound. But I didn’t like the way Mary lowed the boini nable fool to be so familiar with her on such a short acquaintance. And thar’s cousin Pete, lie’s tryin to court round Miss Mary too. I must put a stop to this whole business right off. The fact is it aint safe to leave a bird in the nest too long after it’s big enough to fly. I went to see Miss Mary this very evenin, determined to ax her to be Mrs. Jones before I left her, and it made me monstrous mad to be interrupted bv them bominable snipes. But no matter, the coast is clear now, and I’ll go back and explain the magnet ism to ’em, and know my fate be fore I quit the bouse. So courage, Major, have a brave heart— This night I’ll bring Miss Mary to the pint, Or put my nose completely out of jint. [Exit. Scene IV. — Mrs. Stallings’ Parlor. The women discovered.—A lightwood knot blazing on the hearth. Mrs. S. —Poor Joseph, I’m ’fraid his brain is addled. That’s what comes of tryin witchcraft and sich nonsense. I never had no opinion oi these new ologies and isms, as they call ’em, and if anything serious ‘vas to happen to Joseph, I’d never forgive myself for ’lowin that out landish feller to cut his bominable capers in my house. - Mary. —Don’t be uneasy mother. It was all a trick of Joseph’s, you may depend on it, and Mr. Crotchett got the worst of it. I saw the mis chief was in Joseph as soon as he came in the room, arid I was only afraid something worse would hap pen. Caroline. —Yes, sister, and you tried to play the mischief with him. Mary. — I only tried to make him jealous a little. (Aside.) But I’m satisfied now, and will not punish him any* more. Mrs. S ■ —Well, I don’t want no more sich projectin. ’Spose he was never to git his senses agin. Mary. — (Aside.) —I hope he is just beginning to come to his senses. But here he comes. Enter Major. The women are startled. Major. —Don’t be afraid galls. It’s all over. The magnetism is gone and l aint under the influence any longer. Mrs. S. — Then you aint crazy’, Joseph ? Major.—(With a side glance at Mary.) —Well. I can't exactly say about that, Mrs. Stallings; for I aint certain that I have been in my* right senses for the last month. But I think 1 feel a little better than 1 did a while ago. Caroline. —But, dear me, Joseph, vou don’t know how frightful you did look! Major. —Oh, I caught that from lookin so hard at Crotchett. Bet it’s all over now, and 1 hope 1 look better. Mrs. S. —Well, good night, chil dren ; and don’t have any more such projects, whatever you do. [Exit Mrs. S. Mary takes a scat near the fire-place. j The Major regards her timidly. Caroline , (to Kesiah.) —Come, sis, let us leave them together. I know our room is more acceptable than our company. [Exit Caroline and Kesiah. The Major looks embarrassed— draws a chair to the opposite side of the frc-placc. —Mary affects to be engaged with her work-basket occasionally steals a glance at the Major , who evinces his embarrassment by wiping the perspiration from his sace —shifting his position—tyring his handkerchief into knots round his Itgs—clearing his O I throat , c^V. —After a considerable pause , the Major speaks — Major. — Miss Mary ! Mary. —Dit 1 you speak? Major. —No —yes —l—l jest said Miss Mary’. (Aside.) How mon i strous killin she does look ! Mary. —Well! Major. — (Aside.) —How fai ritv 1 do feel! What upon ycuth shall I say to her ? Maru. —What did vou say? Major. —Wl l y —I—T hey ’ ve go n e and left us here all alone, he, he ! Mary. —Oh! If you’re afraid, I’ll call ’em back again. (Aside.) Poor fellow, how l do pity him ! Major. —Oh no, Miss Mary, don’t trouble yourself, I thank you. (Aside.) If I could jest git started once, I’d feel better bimeby. I’ll ax her about the Female College. I spose you enjoyed yourself right well down to Macon, Miss Mary’, when you was gwine to school. Mary. —Oh, yes. I passed the time there very agreeably” indeed. Major. —l’m very glad of it. And I reckon you had plenty of beaux, among them town chaps, too. Alary. —Yes, indeed. Major. — (Aside.) — The mischief you did ! Did you like any of'cm very much, Miss Mary? Mary. Oh, yes, very much. Their society was so interesting and instructive. Major.—(Aside)— l’ll warrant them town chaps has got lots of gab. Alary. —There was Matthew Mat ties, Philo Sopbyq and TrigO’Nom etry, who were my constant com panions. They were with me day and night. Alajor. — Why, Miss Mary! You did’nt allow them Irishmen to come in your room o’nights, did you ? j Alary. —lrishmen ! What Irish , men ? Major. —Why, Matthew Matties, and that Mr. O’Nometry. Alary. —Bless your heart, they were nothing but books —books on the sciences. Alajor. —Ob! nothing but books, was they ! (Aside.) How much better I do feel. Ah, Miss Mary, you’re as full of your mischief as ever. But 1 hope you’re as good and and as kind as ever too, Miss Mary, and that you won’t throw away old friends for new ones. (Alary turns aside and laughs.) (Aside) I’ve broke the ice at last. Now, all the cupids and venuses befriend me.—Will you, Miss Mary ? Alary. —Will l what? The Alajor hitches up his chair and spits in the fire. Alajor. —Miss Mary ! Ob, if you only-—Miss Mary. (Looks implo ringly at her.) Alary. —What ails y-ou, Joseph? I hope you’re not going to have another magnetic attack. Alajor.—(Spitting in the fire)— No, Miss M arv. But something worse —the fact is—l feel—l don’t know —Ah ! Miss Mary ! Alary. —Shall I call mother? Alajor.— No,no —don’t call nobody. (Spits.) Miss Marv, I want you to tell me—my dear Miss Mary, I want you to answer me one solemn ques tion ! Mary. —One solemn question.— (Aside.) Ob dear ! how he frightens me ! Alajor —Yes,Miss Mary,a solemn quest ion, that is to make me the hap piest man or the most miserable devil that ever lived on the face of the ycath. (Spits.) Mary. —Dear me, Joseph, what can it be ? Alajor.—(Spits.) (Aside.) Now for it, at the risk of my r life. (Spits) Miss Mary, will you— (Spits) —wont you, Miss Mary— (Spits.) —wont you be —( Spits on the fire and puts it out suddenly.) Alary. —Ob mercy ! (leaves the room unperccived by the Major.) Major. —My Lord, Miss Mary, I didn’t go to do it. Jest tell me whar to go, and I’ll git a light.— (Attempts to blow up the chunk.) Its out goo and. M iss Mary ! Miss Mary ! r-die must be gone herself to got a light. (llesumes his scat.) Now warnt that too cussed bad ! Jest when I was comin to the pint— when the word was on the tipeend of iny tongue —to have the whole business knocked in the head bv sich abominable accident. But that's always the way with me. Ther’s everlastingly somethin a happen in to upset all my calculations. But wait till she comes with a light, and I’ll begin again jest whar 1 left off. Cus the luck, that’s what comes of chewin so much tobacker. When ever I gits agitated, (and I was agi tated you may depend, for I feels hot behind the ears yet,)—-when ever I gits agitated, I spits like all creation. 1 wonder why Mary don’t come. (A laugh from the ad joining room.) Thar’s them ouda ciousgalls, up yet, laughin at me! I’ll bet they've been peepin through the key-hole and laughin all the time. I wonder now if Mary has gone off to bed and left me here all alone. ( The girls are heard laughing again.) Listen at ’em ! Mary aint comill hack here to-night, that’s plain enough. Well ding me if I haint got myself into a pretty fix. I’ll never hear the eend of this busi ness, the longest day” I live. I won der whar’smy hat—for theraint no use in mv stavin here in the dark m/ +S ativ longer. Maybe if she know’d I was gwine, she’d bring a light. (Aloud.) Whar’s my hat? —(Tumbles over a chair.) Cus the chair and the’ hat too. (Laugh from the girls.) I’ll jest git out the best way 1 can with out it. (Strikes his nose against a door that is standing open.) Whew ! d—n the door! I’ve put my nose out of jint, sure enough. (Passes out of the door—a pause of a few seconds— a crash of crockery is heard—cry of fe male voices from the room op-positc—re enter the Major.} I’ve played the devil with the tea things —upsot the tabic and smashed* the cups and sassers all to flinders, VVhar in the name of thunder is the way out? (Finds the door on the opposite side' — passes in—a pause of a Jew seconds —- a loud scream from the females—re-entef the Major.) Heavens and airth! that was the galls bed room ! In the name o’sense aint ther no way out? (Passes out through the door in the flat —a crash, is heard.) Caroline , (from the bed-room.) —My Lord ! there goes mother’s wheei! Barf ing of Jogs heard without . Major (without ) —Get out! —get out! —call off your dogs ? End oj’ Act L A WOMAN OF SPIRIT. The recent separation of Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence out west, has called up the following reminiscences of a somewhat similar event in Bour bon Cos., Kentucky, some years ago. A voung man of family and for tune, named Spires, married a beau tiful girl named Steilh, and probably loved her to madness. After the end of a year, the wife became a mother, and like all young mothers, was proud of her infant’s unfolding beauties. One day as she gazed upon the cherub babe—and who docs not love and worship babes ? we wish we had a regiment of em ! —she said to tier husband— “ Roland, dear, I think I shall take the roan mare this evening, bundle up little Harry, the darl ing,” and here she half suffocated the babe with a mother’s fond kisses —“ and pay a short visit to mother.” “You’d better not!” said Ro land. “And why,” inquired the wife. “ Because I can’t accompany 50U.” “Never mind, old Toby can go with me.” j “ You’d better not go.” “I think I had better go sir! and go I shall; and if you do not like it you may help yourself.” “ Very well, madam ; go, and we I shall see the end ot it.” Immediately after dinner the old roan mare was saddled, led up to the | stile, and Toby, the slave, mounted j on a sorrel Alley, was waiting to at- j tend his mistress. The wife, attired for the ride, soon made her appearance at the stile, ready to depart for her moth er’s residence. “ Roland,” said she, as she cast a half supplicating glance at her hus band, you will not, l am very sure, let me mount my horse without your assistance.” The husband with a frown upon his countenance, handed his lady love to the saddle, but was silent. “ Roland dear,” said the wife, “I have left my whip behind, go and get it, that’s a darling.” The husband complied with the request, and handing it to his wife, rudely and impetuously exclaimed : “ Take it and go ungrateful wo man ! ” The hasty manner in which the whip was handed, frightened the horse, and he started, nearly dis lodging the lady. With an air of indescribable scorn and indignation, she curbed up the animal, and giving her husband a glance that was capable of piercing a fortress of adamant, said— “ Sir, you have dared to lift up } r our hand against a woman ! una bashed coward ! 1 bate—-1 despise —I detest you! This day, this hour, we part to meet no more ! ” And then giving speed to her charger, she dashed down the road and was soon in the embrace of her mother. It was in vain that the husband denied that he had raised his hand against his wife. No apology, no explanation would be listened to, or accepted ; and though the lady was sure he loved her, she never after wards received his embrace, or ad mitted him to her society. “ Alas ! liow slight a cause can move Dissensions betwixt hearts that love.” Fine connexions are apt to plunge you into a sea of extravagance, anti then not to .throw you a rope to save you from drowning. FRIEND OpyTHE FAMILY. E. J. PURSE, CITY PRINTER. PROCEEDINGS OF COUNCIL. Savamah. 28th March, 1850. Council met. Present His Honor R. Wayne, Mayor, Al dermen Cohen, Lippman, Mallery, Screven, Griffin, Walker, O’Byrne, Purse, Saussy and Posey. The Minutes of the last meeting were read and confirmed. The Information and Fine Dockets were read and confirmed. The City of Savannah vs William B. Hale, violating Fire Ordinance by puttingupa Stoop &c., cor. of Jefferson and Congress streets. Witness, the City Marshall. The defendant appeared and submitted his defence. On motion of Alderman Purse, the above information was referred to the Com mittee on tho Fire Department, with power j to act. Reports read and adopted. Tiie Committee on Dry Culture, to whom j was referred the proposition of tho Trustees of the minor children of Joseph Stiles, [ire sent the following Report: The proposition of the Trustees is to sell | to tile City the right, of wet culture in all that I tract of land lying west of the C ty and south of the Augusta Hoad, commonly known as tho Springfield plantation. Tiiis subject is one of much difficulty, and your committee have bestowed upon it ail the consideration which its importance de mands. They respond very fully to the opin ion expressed by the petitioners, that the dry culture system has exercised a salutary in fluence upon the health of tho City. Expe rience has settled that question: It is no longer an opinion limited to the Medical Fac ulty, but pervades all classes of our citizens. Convinced of its salutary influence, the City Council has never ceased in its efforts to ex tend the benefits of the system to every por tion of the City, and it has succeeded in sur rounding it by n considerable space of dry culture land in every direction, except the south west, where lie tho rico lands which the Trustees propose to sell. Just ice tothnt important portion of the City requires that it should participate in the benefits of the dry culture system. The interest of the City de mands that her domain upon her southern border, where improvements are so rapidly extending, should not be exposed to tin; de leterious influence of the malaria of these rice fields. ■ The value of property will be en hanced by promoting the purity of the air, and thus improving the health of the locality Upon the propriety, nay the necessity of a change of culture, from wet to dry, of these lands, there cannot be a difference of opinion ; but the bost mode of effecting that object is a question attended by difficulties which have caused much anxious reflection on the part of your committee. There are three ways of abolishing rice culture upon the lands in question : Ist, by enforcing the law, which empowers the City Council to prohibit the cultivation of rice within one mile of the City limits. 2nd, by purchasing the right of wet culture. 3rd, by buying tho lands in fee simple. The City Council has exhibited a decided reluctance to adopt the first plan, and to en force the power granted by the Legislature, unaccompanied by compensation, to the pro prietors. Justice to the citizen forbids its adoption by a great, rich, and magnanimous Corporation. This subject has b ‘en treated with such power by the late Chairman of the Dry Culture Committee, F. IS. Bartow, Esq., that your committee will not trespass upon your time by a repetition of his unanswerable arguments. They would, however, take leave to add to the force of that report in it s bearing upon this particular case, by calling attention to tho fact that the proprietors of these lands are minors, and should be dealt with not only justly and equitably, but merci fully. Apart from this consideration there is one objection to tho adoption of the plan which is insuperable. Prohibit the cultiva tion of rice and you will render the land val ueless; because in its present condition, and with the limited means of the proprietors to apply the necessary labor, dry culture cannot be successfully pursued upon it.—The con sequence of a prohibition would be an aban donment of all cultivation, which in the opinion of the committee would be as injuri ous as the cultivation of rico in this particular locality, on account of its difficult drainage. To the second plan, viz : that of purchasing the right of wot culture, which is the one proposed by the petitioners, your committee are equally adverse. The lands in question are bounded north by the canal, east and west by high land, and south by a continua tion of the same swamp, of which these lands form a part. The natural drainage is into the Savannah River, by Musgrove Creek. — By inspecting the accompanying Map of Mc- Kinnon, you will perceive that the draining of this land has been seriously impaired by the Canal and Rail-Road having been built across Musgrove Creek without a culvert at the spot, which left tho proprietors but a single drain and that an artificial one. Now this canal may servo the purpose ol draining the swamp behind the rice fields, but in heavy rains niu9t be wholly inadequate to drain the latter. Without a drain fur the field, sepa rate from that of the swamp, it is impracti cable successfully to pursue dry culture, and it would involve an expense to make the improvement which the Trustees do not tee I authorized to incur. They have accordingly j withdrawn the proposition to sell the right of i wet culture, and have submitted another to i the effect that they will poll the entire Spring- I ’ field Plantation containing OGO u cit . per acre, and this brings us to th e **’ *.* tion of the third mode of abolish,^ 081 ' 1 ture, viz : that of a purchase in This your Committee believe plan. Make the existing canal wid' 6 '*' 1 deeper, and dig another to gj Ve s ** 80( ! drainage for the field,are all the necessary to fit the land for farms nT*'* dens for which purposes it may bo ,T geously sold, and the city thus be ted. The Committee would riot recoil the purchase of the entire tract, the Rice land, which contains acres, and that portion of high lar„j . cent to the Ogechee Road, which vicinity to the city, may be desirable p j * ty for a variety of purposes. The Committee offer the following rc lions and recommend their passage CB ° lu ’ Resolved, That the Dry Culture C mil tee be authorized to coinmuni Cntf> the Trustees relative to the purchase “ ‘ portions of the Springfield Plantation^ have recommended in their reiam „, r ,,r i. aud fu report to Council. 0 Resolved. That the Dry Culture c un mittee ascertain what will be the cost of the necessary improvements to fit Rico lands of the Springfield plantation dry culture, and for this purpose they Ik powered to employ the City Surveyor. JAMES P. SCREVEN J. R. SAUSSY, JOHN F. POSEY. The Street and Lane Committee f o re relative to a sewer parallel to the canal thro’Alderman Purse, Chairman, reported verbally that the work was ordered nnd i a progress. The committee appointed to make arrangements for the removal of the p (IW( ] Magazine, report that they have selectedr W(l lots, GO by 130, at the eastern terminus of Broughton street as the most suitable pl, tco fur the same, and recommend that a bomb proof building, 30 by 40 feet, be erected a,,, drr the direction of the Committee on p u (,. lie Buildings. tugs. PURSE, > K. D. WALKER, Petitions. The petition ofF. Rober for permission to put up a temporary establishment far I tt Cream on the the south side of the Square lately built by Mr. Hodgson, Ac., was read, and on motion of Alderman Sermon, secon. j ded by Aid. Purse, referred to the Commit, toe on Public Sales and City Lots, to report thereon. The petition of Matthew Hall McAllister Esq., relative to the continuation of Liberty Street through his Lots Nos. 3 and 4, by tho Street nnd Lane Committee and City Sur veyor in 1844, was read and on motion of Al derman Mallery, referred to the Coiniaiitc# on Streets and L ines. Communications, Spc. A communication from Wm. P. Bowit, Esq., relative to the trees planted .in Plant*! Bank Square, was read, and on motion of Ah German Purse, seconded by Alderman Colw was laid on the table for the present. Joseph Ft*lr, City Treasurer, submitted hi Report upon the Returns of City O/Ticersfor February, 185 a . Aid. Cohen stated that the City TreaFnrcr reported “ that the draft of Scarlet, Execu tor of the late Peter Massie, being the bal ance of the legacy to the city for $5,400,bai been paid, and that tho dividend on stock in vestment, amounting to SB4, has also been drawn,”—whereupon the following Resolu tion, offered by Aid. Purse, seconded by Aid. Cohen, was read and adopted,-to wit: Resolved , That His Honor the Mayor b® authorized to invest the above amounts. Resolutions Read and Adopted. By Alderman Purse, seconded by Aider man Cohen— Resolved , That the application of Jobs Love for relief lrom double lax on one thn lot No. 46, Carpenter’s Tithing, Deck’ Ward, be granted upon payment of singb tax and costs. By Alderman Purse seconded by Air men Walker— Resolved , That W. B. Hodgson, he requested to sign a lease as tenant the Mayor and Aldermen, for that p° !tion ° the South Common enclosed by I* ll " 85 Public Park, nnd that the Clerk ot have the necessary papers executed. By Aldermen Screven, seconded k v ‘ derman Walker— ( Resolved , That the dry culture c° ntrßC _ whose lands lieve been reported in b” ° r be required to place them in proper con previousto the next inspection; aiulth^ 1 neglect or refusal to comply with tin s rP< l ’ sition, the Mayor be authorizod to 1 suit upon the contracts which may h ave violated. Amount of Accounts passed s'-‘2W Council adjourned. EDWARD G. WILSON, A delicate girl of 15 years [ hibiting herself in Pennsyh^ ° i 3 . k’ She weighs only 450 pounds as she increases at the rate pound a week, she stands a t chance of being fat yet. : —„ o fthc There is a living speciro en pork species at Detroit which ‘ u ® j 1060 pounds. His girt is ? inch, and measures from n ° tail, G feet 9 inches. The public domain of 1 | States embraces cres.
