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About A Friend of the family. (Savannah, Ga.) 1849-1??? | View Entire Issue (June 22, 1850)
tii ram jfMffmi. VOLUME 11. OLD TIMES AND NEW. r ALLEN C. SPOONER. *rwa in my easy chair at home, Abs Utat a week ago, / sat and puffed my light cigar, As usual, you must know. I mused upon the Pilgrim flock Whose luck it was to land, L’poo almost the only rock Among the Plymouth sand. Jamy mind’s eye I saw them leave Their weather-beaten bark; Before them spread the wintry wilds, Behind, rolled ocean dark. Alone that little handful stood, While savage foes lurked nigh, [God Their creed and watchword, 44 Trust in And keep your powdor dry.” Imagination’s pencil then That first stern winter painted, While more than half their number died, And stoutest spirits fainted. A tear unbidden filled one eye My smoke had filled the other ; Cue sees stange sights at such a time. Which quite the senses bother. I hew I was alone—but lo ! (Let him who dares deride me,) I/ooked, and drawing up a chair, Down sat a man beside me. His dress was ancient, and his air \V as somewhat strange and foreign, Ha civilly returned my stare, And said 4 Pm Richard Warren.* * You'll find my name among the list Os hero, sage and martyr, Who, in the Mayflower’s cabin, signed The first New England charter. *1 coulJ some curious sights impart— Perhaps some wise suggestions ; But then, Pm bent on seeing sight 9, Aai running o’er with questions.’ •Ask on,’ said I ‘l’ll do my best Togivoyou information, Whether of private inon you ask, Or our renowned nation.’ Says he, * First tell me what is that In your compartment narrow, seems to dry my eyeballs up, And scorch my very marrow. His finger pointed to the grate, Said I, ‘That’s Lehigh coal, Bug from the earth,’ —he shook his head : ‘ltis, upon my soul.* I then took up a bit of stick, One end was black as night, And rubbed it quick across the hearth, Wheulo! a sudden light! My guest drew back, uprolled his eyes, And strove his breath to catch ; ’ Mi hat necromancy’s that ? ’ he cried ; Quoth I, 4 A friction match.’ tpon a pipe j us t overhead, I turned a little screw, forth with instantaneous flash Three streams of lightning flew. Uprose my guest; ‘Now Heaven save me,’ A-loud he shouted, then, hat is that fire ? ’ • ’Tis gas, said I, e call it hydrogen.* Then forth into the fields we strolled, A train came thundering by, B r awu by the snorting iron steed, Swifter than eagles fly. Humbled the wheels,the whistle shrieked, lar streamed the smoky cloud, Echoed tlte hills, the valleys shook, I he flying forest bowed. vn °n his knees, with hands upraised, w °rship, Warren fell ; ‘ Jre at is the Lord our God ! * cried he, He doeth all things well! * seen his chariots of fire, The horseman too, thereof; may I ne’er provoke his ire, Nor at his threatenings scoff.* H-Uo up, ray friend, rise up,’ said I, 4 Your terrors all are vain; That was no chariot of the sky, ’ Twas tho New York mail train.* We stood within a chamber small; Men came the nows to know, [York, Irom Worcester, Springfield and New Texas and Mexico. I £ jame, it went, silent but sure, • Btarec *’ Bm *led, burst out laughing ; hat witchcraft’s thnt 1 * * It’s what Magnetic telegraphing.’ [ we ca n t more we stepped into the street ; Said Warren, 4 what is that hich moves along across the way, A* softly as a cat ? * Dcmiffft la ilittmtiur, Imttce anil M, t(j t nf toperanrt, m /Hlntnsljip, ftlasnnnj anil total 3nttlJignirt 35murmt0. THE •* CARDINAL ” AND THE DEP UTY SHERIFF. What admirer of the sports of the Turf, or connoisseur of horse flesh, is not acquainted with our friend Richelieu, whom the irreverent have dubbed 44 Cardinal.” If their should be any such I assure them, the matter can be easily arranged, by seeking Joe out and offering lo bet on the speed of his Saratoga horse, in match against time, and my word for it, the acquaintance will commence and continue too through life. A good liver and a good fellow is Joe, who still retains all the vigor and elasticity of youth, although the frosts of forty odd win ters hilvelefi their traces upon his head, and a reasonable amount of 44 crow’s feet ” are mingled with the lines of good humor at the corners of his eyes. Aside from the im pediment in his speech, (an agree able kind of stammer,) Joe is one of the most vivacious of compan ions, and tells a stors in a style so peculiar his own, that it would be vain to attempt to repeat it on paper with the same effect. But I will do the best I can with one of Joe’s yarns, andtrust to luck for his ap proval. Joe and I were, one cold night, sitting over glasses of steaming whis key punch, and cosily whiffing away at oursegars, each having ta ken positions of an easy character ; Joe watching the fantastic figures formed by his imagination in the glowing coal fire, and I in a dreamy state of listlessness, giving a sleepy ear to the howling of a December wind, as it fiercely shook the blinds and sashes of our comfortable little crib of a room. After a long pause, Joe broke the silence by saying— -44 I’ll tell you ab-b-bout a d-d-dep uty Sh-sh-sheriff, that had all t-t-the st-starch ta-taken out of him one d-d-d-devilish c-c-cold day, up in Ca-Ca-Canada.” “Do Joe,” said I, “but first let us light a fresh segar, and put more coals on the fire.” This done, Joe commenced his “ twister,” but as it is utterly im possible to give it verbatim et litera tim, you must be satisfied with it second handed, and in his lan guage as near as I can give it, bar ring the impediment. “ Thirty-five years ago this pres ent month,” said Joe, “ I was living in Canada about twelve miles frogi the St. Lawrence, and pearly op posite Ogdeqsburg. I had made arrangements for a visit to New 4 1 mean the thing upon two legs, With feathers on its head ; A monstrous lump below its waist, Large as a feather bed. 4 It has the gift of speech I hear, But sure it can’t be human ? * 4 My amiable friend,’ said I, 4 That’s what we call a woman.* 4 By all the powers itcannot be,* Sighed he, with voice that faltered ; •I loved the women in my day, But O, they’re strangely altered.’ I showed him then anew machine For turning eggs to chickens, A labor-saving hennery, That beat the very dickens. Thereat he strongly grasped my hand, And said, * Tis plain to see This world is so transmogrified, ’Twill never do for me. • \ our telegraphs, your railroad trains, Yourgas lights, friction matches, A our hump-backed women, rocks for coal, Y our th ng that chicken hatches, ‘ Have turned tho world so upsido down, No pence is left within it; * Then whirling round upon his heel, He vanished iu a minute. Forthwith my most veracious pen Wrote down what I had heard. And here, dressed up in doggerel rhyme, You have it, word for word. SAVANNAH, GA., SATURDAY, JUNE 22, 1850. York, and on an intensely cold morning, threw my legs across one of the best blood nags in the Prov idence, intending to ride down to St. Lawrence, and so cross over on the ice. On my way down I stopped at a public house, kept by an old friend of my father’s, to take leave, and, at the same time, forti fy myself against the cold wind, by imbibing a reasonable quantity of good fourth proof. While there., one of the deputy Sheriffs of the county Tode up on a common coun try horse, which was duly shedded, and in a few minutes the landlord, the deputy and I, were taking our brandy and water, 44 as thick as pickpockets,” at my expense. The landlord w’ished me a pleasant jour ney, and gave me one or two trifling commissions to execute on my ar rival. Not so said the deputy.— He commenced speaking of the painful duties which his office en tailed upon him, and regretted very’ much that he sometimes was forced, against his inclination to incommode his best friends, and w’ound up by gravely informingme that he then had in his pocket a capias, issued against me at the suit of a rascally tailor, who had the temerity to bow to me at a ball, and whom I had cut on the spot, I was surprised, of course, and stated that the ac l tion was merely to annoy me. 1 would have paid the amount on the instant, but I very much disliked giving the scoundrel of a tailor any satisfaction whatever. I therefore dotermined to extricate myself by a coup dc maiiii and giving the land lord the wink, after a little circum locution I introduced the subject of politics ; it was like fire and gunpowder, and the landlord and deputy being on opposite sides, rat tled away in perfect broadsides of argumentive eloquence. Taking advantage of this position of affairs I quietly slipped out of the house, went rapidly to the shed, and in less than ten winks had the blanket off’ my horse, and was on his back, ta king the road to St. Lawrence, — But the enemy had discovered my escape, and in less time than it takes me to tell it, the Sheriff’ was on the road, Ia half mile in advance of him, and the landlord standing in the door, hailing the Sheriff’ to “ come back for his change.” The Sheriff was a chuckle-headed Hi bernian, about five feet eight in height, and must have weighed over one hundred and eighty, and, as I said before, indifferently mounted, while I weighed about one hundred and thirty, and backed a blood.” 44 Such a horse as your Saratoga nag ? ” said I. 44 N-n-notbing li-like him. B-b ----blazes, don’t inter-r-rupt me, I sh shant get through t-t-to-night,” and aside from the stutter, Joe continued as follows : “ Then commenced the tug of war, on the poor sheriff. I had the heels of him, but did’nt like to get so far ahead as to be out of sight of him, for fear he might cut me off by going “ across lots.” And so we had it, hip and thigh, for about forty minutes, until I saw the river frozen u stiff as a bridge.” I rode up to the tavern on the shore, has tily threw my reins to the ostler.— After giving him directions as to the care of the horse, and where to send him, I took the ice. As I reached the brink of the river the Sheriffbove in sight, just turning the brow of a hill, bout a quarter of a mile off, his horse sweating un der his heavy burden, and smoking like Vesuvius in an attack ofchoi ce, Jp p sort of a dog trot I started for Ogdensburg, having a good five hundred yards start of the Sheriff. And here 1 had about the same ad vantage as I had ashore. The wind was high, and the Sheriff and I had it directly in our teeth ; but he pre sented more surface than I did, and consquently had the most of it.— The ice was very smooth,indeed — what the boys call glib— except in spots where the snow drifted.— These rough spots I avoided for fear of air holes, and kept on the smooth ice. I was going steadily into the wind’s eye, but the Sheriff* had to 44 heatup,” so as to take the wind obliquely, or else he would not have got along at all, and in deed sometimes a gust took him with a slide twenty yards out of his course before he could stop himself. At last I heard a shriek, and looked around. The Sheriff’ had disap peared, with the exception of a quantity of carroty hair, which was just above the surface of the frozen stream. The poor devil had bro ken through the ice. Humanity dictated that I should extricate him, but safety said, “let him extricate himself.” But humanity had the best of it, and back I went to the rescue of the representative of his majesty. “For God’s sake, Misther Richi lieu, help me out! ” cried the poor deputy. 44 Och ! murther ! I’m full of wather intirely, and thecowld is takin’ the life of me.” 44 If I get you out you will arrest me,” said I. 44 Divil arrist,” said he. 44 Now,” I replied, 44 I’ll get you out on one condition, and that is, that you must give me the same start I had when you fell in.” “Howly Virgin ! Yis I*ll do it.” 44 And you will promise not to run afier me until I get to the place where I was ? ” 44 On the honor of a man and a gintleman,” said he, between his chattering teeth. 41 No, that won’t do; you must promise on the honor of a deputy and a Sheriff,” said I. “I promise—och! release me.” 44 By dint of hard labor, the shiv ering devil, stood upon the brink of the hole that came near being his grave, the water slowly dripping from the capacious capes of his great coat, his sleeves, and the bot tom of his pantaloons. Butitdid’nt drip long, for the cold air almost im mediately froze around him an ar mor as strong as iron. I deliberately started for the spot agreed upon. “ Why you did’nt hurry yourself Joe the poor devil might have fro zen to death.” ‘•Oh, I was no f-f-fool—l wanted to s-s-save my wind.” “ Well Joe, did he follow you ? ” “ F-f-follow ! he d-d-did’nt move a P"P*p*peg, and I t-t-think he’s s-s-st-standing t-t-there yet.” Popping the Question. —Sally, don’t I like you ? Law, Jim, I reckon so. But don’t you know it Sally?— Don’t you think I’d tear the eyes out of any tom cat that dare to look cross at you ? I spect you would. Well, the fact of it is Sally, I Oh, now don’t Jim—l feel all overisb. And Sally I want you to — O hush, don’t, I Oh— I want you to-night to get — What, so soon. Oh no, impossi ble. Father and mother would be angry at me. How be mad at you fordoing me such a favor as to m Yes, dear me, I’m so agitated. But there is some mistake, for all I want to have you to do, is to-*-<- rnend my shirt collar . A. Mysterious Prisoner. —A curi ous incident occurred in the Assize Court of Paris, which shows the ex tent of the influence of secret socie ties in France. Five Prisoners stood at the Bar accused of no less than 26 robberies, and two of them, ltenaud and Godmus, stood besides charged with an attempt at murder. The former stabbed a gendarme in the execution of his duty. The latter committed the same act on a person whom he be lieved to be his rival or successor in the good graces of his former mis tress. Godmus said in reply to the reproaches of the girl— “ Yes ! I have two or three more persons here to assassinate in the same manner, and after that you may take my head—you may see what is inside it.” The following is a portion of the examination by the Court:— “Godmus, did you not escape from the convict prison on the 4th of May last, being a festive day ? You were arrested in the midst of a crowd who were looking at the fire works, and you wore the riband of the Legion of Honor?” “I was legally in possession of the riband of the Legion of Honor; it was given me by an exalted per sonage, whose life I had saved in critical circumstances.” “ When you were arrested, were not 300f., in gold, found on you ?” 44 True : and some days after, they put me into prison and stripped me naked. I was again searched, and more gold was found on me.— And, what you will think more strange, I have at this minute my pockets full of gold. (On saying this the prisoner, to the amazement of the Court, drew from his pocket and exhibited a handful of gold pie ces.) Yes, (he continued,) I have gold, and I shall always have plen ty of it. Don’t think it is false. I was arrested on the 4th of May, and the pieces I now show you bear the new effigy of the Republic, and are dated the month of November fol lowing.” 44 What conclusion do you draw from that ?” “I conclude from that, that I had no necessity to rob in order to have plenty of money. lam the agent of a political party, though I can not either read or write. But as it is well known I am a man of reso lution, the political party 1 speak of, thought it a good thing to enlist me. I went about selling pamphlets and journals, and under this character I concealed that of an active agent of the political party I belong to.” “Did you not, during your im prisonment, change many times the whole of your clothing and no one could find the trace of the gar ments you had thrown away?” 44 To be sure. I got rid of these garments in the very same manner I caused the gold to enter whenev er I had occasion for it.” As may be supposed, the audi tory were astonished at these ad missions, and still more at the in controvertible proofs the prisoner gave of the mysterious means he possessed, while in his cell, of pro curing clothes and money in abun dance, whenever he thought prop er. The Girls in Minesota . —The St. Paul Chronicle noticing the state ment of a Western editor, that the girls of his district occasionally ride a tame wolf to meeting, says:— * That’s nothing. Many of our belles of Northern Minesota, drive four of the ‘varmints* in hand, attached to a train, making winter journeys of five hundred rpiles across the plains. Consumption Contagious. —Con- sumption is contagious . 1 mean by this, that it can be taken by one per son from another* The ancient Ro mans so believed, and hence burnt the beds, clothes, furniture and books of those who had died from this disease. Rarely, if a husband or wife has this disease, and the healthy companion continues to lodge with the sick one, does the healthy one escape the disease.— Many cases of this kind I have known. The same is true of a sis ter, who takes the nursing of, and sleeps with a consumptive sister. I know it seems hard to the sick that a companion, or a near friend should be afraid (as it is termed) to lodge with them. But it is “ the first law r of nature to preserve one’* self.” If the sick must suffer unless the healthy were thus exposed, the case would be very different. But such is not the fact. They can have all proper and necessary at tention, without the health of a friend being thus endangered.— This breathing the air, as it issues from a decayed, or decaying lung, and receiving the perspiration from a consumptive body, is at the risk of health and life. Who has, not seen a whole family of sisters, liv ing together, and nursingeach other successfully follow one another with fearful strides, to the same dark and final resting-place; while the one or two, who had earlier removed from the paternal mansion, had es caped ? Such instances are not rare. I have now in vivid recollec tion a family of five sisters, who all died of consumption in a few y-ears, w'hile one, who was married, and had removed from the paternal do micil, still lives. My only brother died of consumption. His wife nursed him, and lodged with him till two days before his decease; and though she was of a healthy family, and wdiere there was no hereditary predisposition, yet she took the disease, lingered for about a year, and died. Several y r ears since, I knew a y T oung lady, who w'hile taking tho care of a consumptive sister, as she inhaled her breath, one day, when the sick sister was coughing, was conscious that she had taken the dis ease. She was immediately sick ened at the stomach, and in three months after the death of her sister she also died of the same disease. Mind your Dotes.—X Kentucky member of Congress wrote to his wife on his arrival at Washington city, that he had 4 formed a com munication with a very agreeable Mess , and expected to spend the winter very pleasantly.* Unfortu nately to the surprise and mortifica tion of the good lady to whom he was writing, he inadvertently dotted the e in the word Mess. 4 In a Horn —The origin of this saying is thus answered j 4 In olden times before glasses were intro duced, it was the custom to drink out of horns. William tho Con queror had one that held a quart* When he drank out of it, he usually pledged his guests 4 in a horn,* and no one could leave the table with out doing the same thing, Hence the origin. 44 My boy,” said a wag to a sharp featured little fellow, 44 can you in form me who it was that struck Mr. William Patterson ?’* “Yes, sir,” said the urchin, with a sausy twitching of the muscle* of the lip. “It was the man in the green spectacles vot owns the black dog.*’—The wag was fairly bagged by his own game. NUMBER 1(1
