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About A Friend of the family. (Savannah, Ga.) 1849-1??? | View Entire Issue (July 6, 1850)
A Hoss I’iade. BY NED ALBRO. Well, jest manufacture me inter a double refined stump machine, ami set meagoin’ across fifty aeres of woodland, if ever l run afoul of aich a darn, mean, loafiin’, misera ble, cut-thioated piece of misery as that ere feller I happened to light on toiher day. Now I had a fancy old hoss, a regular sanctified lookin’ beast, what was wuth tew hundred dollars clean cash, ’thout the harness. One day, bein’ kinder short of funds, l tho’t I’d load up my “shop,” (ihat*s what 1 calls my waggin) with clocks, churns, and a few pots of cow grease, lake a trip down the river, sell out the fixins, and see the giraffe on the proceeds. Well, 1 seen him—part on him any way. 1 hadn’t more’ll landed, when a goose-eyed lookin’ customer stepped up to me, and saysb'*— 4 Stranger do you want to trade off that hoss of yourn ? ’’ 4 Why, yes,* says l, 4 1 wouldn’t mind makin a swop, pervidin I got a little boot.’ ‘l’ll gin yc my bay mnre, an X, and stand the gin and molasses.* Now the green varment looked so cussed green bout the gills, and said he had sich a darn pretty sister, 1 did’nt dream of the fellow’s being a sucker, hut thought he was one of the pious rips ; so I let him have my nag—l did, by thunder! 1 kinder hated to fist, 1 swow, for I thought more of that critter than 1 did a load of onions. 1 used to go sparkin the gals with that very dien lical old hoss. 1 remember of go ing to see Sal Edwards, one night; ’twas darker’n pitch, and a rainin likejehu. 1 thought’twant civilized to keep him out in the wet, ’cause be was s > alfired poor he’d leak full, founder, and die on my hands, and they’d run me up for hoss slawter. So I led him in the house, and hitched him to the trammels in the fire-place. Well, while I was a makin love in a most awful tragic manner toSal, he got loose, got in ter the bed-room, and eat up the old woman’s straw bed, bed kivers. and Sal’s bran new straw bonnet, one that Jonn v Foster gin her so he could come around her. Thunder! what a rumpus the old woman kicked up. She vowed she’d have my hoss brought up afore the deha tin society, git old Deacon Wiley to open prayer for Sal and herself, and as for me, she said if l ever cum to see her Sal agin, she’d hoot tne to Tofit, and from there to the lead mines. I know’ll she’d sweeten me a streak if 1 did, so l kept shy. Well tocome toihe trade—l con cluded I’d let the fellor have mv hoss, so I look his mare, pocketed the X, and welickered. The feller said it didn’t cost much to keep the mare. If I happened to gii short of fodder, all I’d have to do was to put a pair of green winder blinds over her eyes, and feed him on shavins, hoops, and sie'n trash —he*d think it was clover. I noted it down on thekiverofa spellin book, and the feller skated. A minit ar ter he‘d gone, I went to put the bits in his jaws, and l hoped 1 may be smoked as brown as a briled monkey, if every one of die mure’s teeth want false, one of her eyes blind, and tother she couldn’t see out of a darned mite! Blast that feller’s pictur ! If he don’t think of hallewyer when he goes to teed the hoss I let him have, then I’m loony. He’sgotth cholera the darnedest An’ when the feller goes to docter in’ him with pikery, l pity his soul ifhe haspens to git it down the horse’s wind-pipe—lie’ll go madder than a cat-fish with the hydrafoby. ‘Sides that, when the hoss comes to to git inter one o’his fits, he’ll eat up the buffalo robe, harness’ or any thing else—don’t make a difFo’ bii terance. Well, to sum all up in ter one teetotal obstruct, he’ll come to the everlastiu’ conclusion that he didn’t iii \he start o’ me much in that hoss trade, for 1 let him have one o Josh Robbings nigger s boot-legs for tabacker, an’ when l left him [ hope l may be abut, it he liad’ut chawed u most up *> the slrai)S J From tiie spirit of ihe Tune*. A Misouri Political Speech. BT J. R. H. OF SHADY HILL, MISSOURI- Mr. P.— Sir: —As the daily prints in this city are filled with intermina ble speeches intended for Bun combe, I have concluded to send you the following spicy and patri otic effusion, originally intended for the same market, being an extract from a stump speech recently de livered in Missouri, and leaving it to you if it dosn’t take the shine off’ any thing that has emenated from this great focus of wit and elo quence. j. R. H. “Friends and feller citizens of this conflictious community—what I’m speakin* ot I allude to, I say a crisis has arriv . The whells of our government has stopped, the ma chinery’s deranged, the rudder’s unshipped, the bilor’s busted, h—i’s afloat, and the river’s risin’. Our glorious ship of State that, like a bob-tailed gander’s been floatin’ majestically down the peaceful cur rent of time, has had its harmony disturbed and it’s now driften’ with fearful rapidity towards the shoals and quick sands of disunion, threat enin’ to dash everything to flindrigs and pick itself up in end agone gos lin. Hearken no longer, ye worthy denizends of Hog Hole an Terripiu Neck, and the adjacent regions to that siren voice that whispers in your too credulous ears the delusive sound, peace ! peace ! for peace has done, sloped Hewed to other lands, or div to the depths of the mighty deep, or in the more em phatic language of Tecumseh, when addressin’ the assembled hosts on the plains of Marathury, on the eve ot battle he exclaimed : ‘•(Jo flickerin’through the fogs of other climes. To aid the miser watchiu’ of h ; s d.ines.” “Or of Alexander the Great at the battle of Bunker's Hill, who, in the agency of despair, frantically shrieked, —’Gone glimeriu* thro’ the dreams of other days, a school hoy’s tale, the wonder of an hour.’ “Fellercitizen’s—in our halls of legislations confusion runs riots, and anaachy reigns supreme.— Arouse, then, shake oft the dew drops from your huntin’ shirts, and tall into ranks. Sound toscin ! beat the drum! and blow the toot horn, till the startled echoes, rever hatin’ from hill-top to hill-top, and from gopher-hill to gopher-hill, shall cause the adamantine hills of New- Fngland, the ferruginous deposi’es of Missouri,and the auifarious par ticles ofCaliforny, to prick up their ears, and in whispered accents, in quire of their neighbors: ‘What can the matter he “Feller citizens—l repeat it, to your posts land from the topmost peaks of the Aleghanies, bid defi ance to the universal Yankee nation, bv shoutin’ the terrific watchword, ‘who’s afraid?* in such thunder tones, that quakin’ withterror, they shall forget that niggers is. Don your rusty regimentals burnish up your fire locks, gird on your trusty broadswords, bid farewell to your crusty helpmates, mount your lus ty chargers, and save the naiion or burst your biler! “ Feller citizens—The great bird of American liberty’s slewed aloft, and soarin upon the wings of the wind, is now hoverin’ high o’er the cloud capped summits of the Rocky Mountains, and when he shall have penetrated intothe unknown regions of unlimited space, and then shall have duv down and lit on daddy’s wood pile, I shall be led to exclaim in the grand, the terrific, the sub lime language of Paul the Apostle iu his celebrated epistle to the Abo rigines : * Root little pig or die !’ “Feller ciiizens—'File times is critical—blood’s gwine to be poured out like soap-suds outen a wa&h tub, and every man what’s got a soul as big as the white of a nigger’s eye, ’ll be ready to fight, bleod and die for his country ! ‘Them’s lhe limes! You want men in the council of lhe nation what you can depend on ! Tha’s me ! Fleet tne to Congress, or Governor of the State, and i’ll stick to you through thick and thin, like a lean tick to a nigger’s shin! I am not gwine to make an electioneeriti speech. I’d scorn the act. You know me; I’ve been fotched up among you. Already on the wings of a toploftical imagination, i fancy l see you marchin to the polls in solid phalanx, and with a shout that makes the welkin ring, 4 Wkoorah for Home!’ come down on my oppo nent like a thousand ol brick to a rotton pumpkin. “Feller citizens —I tell you now what I’m goin’ to do ii I’m elected to Congress, and what I’m goin’ to have done if elected Governor of the State. If elected to Congress I’m gwine to vote for a law allowin’ them Northern fellers’ men and wimmin, what loves niggers so well, to marry as many of ’em as they want and are able to pay tor. I’m opposed mentally and morally, c.oustitutioimlly and conscientiously, to extending slavery in any shape, manner or form, under any circum stances whatever further North than the pint of the hub what the axle tree of the North pole turns on, or further South than the 90th degree of South latitude, l’tn gwine to vote for annexing to the United States, Cuba and Canada, all the territory north of 49, and all South of 48 —60, to the southern extremi ty of South America, together with Great Brittain and her possessions, and Europe’ Asia and Africa. I’m in favor of buildin’ a rail-road and ship canal from the village of St. Louis situated, as the most of you are aware, in this State in the vicini ty of Alton, in Illinois, to San Fran cisco, by cullin’ a tunnil plain through the bowels of the earth, straight as a die. I’m gwine to vote for a bill given’ O’Reify the privilege of bildin’ a telegraph line to the Moon, and grantin’ him the exclusive monopoly of the same for ten years, with the exception of 100 shares each which Old Zac and the man in the Moon shall he allowed to take. As we’re gettin’ crowded tor mom, l shall go for lettin’ down ’he falls of Niagara a button hole or two, for the purpose of drainin’ the lakes and makin’ ’em fit to live in, so that our cramped population which now almost amounts to 3J on an averag- in each town-ship can have elbow room. “I’m in favor of pnssin a bill vo tin’ the Mississippi and Missouri riv ers nuisances, dangerous to life and property, from the immense lum ber of accidents that’s constantly happenin’ on ’em and to have ’em filied up immediately, with all their branches, except Salt River the navigation of which I’m in favor of leaving unobstructed for the benefit of defeated politicians. I’m gwine to vote for a bill grantin’ premiums for encouragin’ the growth of hemp as from present appearances there’ll soon be a great demand for that ar ticle by the government of the Uni ted States, for the benefit of numer ous individuals, both in public and private life, who are plotting treason against the Union. 1 tell you what ii is boys 1 know Old Zack, and it would just do him good to swing up a few thousand of them traitors, a bought as high as the feller what Scripter tells about. And 1 tell you now, I’m gwine to vote as strong as pizen for movin’ the Seat of Gov ernment of the United Slates from Washington to our own quiet and venerable Vide Poche. “If l elected Governor, I’m gwine O to have the walls of the Penitentia ry and the county piisons lev* led with the ground, and, all law's for confinin’ men in the same, for crimes and misdemeanors, repeal ed, as the trouble of reprievin’ con victed criminals is a great anti un necessary tax on the time of the Govemer, that might be much more agreeably employed iu playin’ brag and poker, and in loungin’ about the bur-rooms and street corners talkin’ > politics. “I’m gw’ine to have the seat of government of the State moved from Jefferson City, either to Nigger Heel or Pin Hook, or else to the j mouth of the Bee Gum Fork or Shave Tail. I’m gwine to have a law passed to keep milk from turn in'sour in thunder storms, and to keep vvimmin from standin’on their heads at camp meetins. And I’m gwine to have an-otherone passed to cause hickories to peel all the year round and another one, still, forexsulsion from our borders of prairie wolves and abolitionist, the extermination of prairie flies and galinippers, and annihilation of fleas bed bugs and muskeeters. “Them’s my sentiments ! Three cheers, for Home ! There that’ll do. Come now let’s liquor*” The Oldest City of the United States. At length we emerged upon a shrubby plain, and finally came in sight of this oldest cit v of the United States (St. Augustine,) seated among the trees on a sandy swell of land, where it has stood for three hundred years. I was struck with its ancient and homely aspect, even at a distance ; and could not help likening it to pictures which 1 had seen of Dutch towns, though it wanted a windmill or two to make the resemblance complete. YVe drove into green square, in the midst of which was a monument erected to commemorate the Spanish constitution of 1812, and thence through the narrow streets of the city to our hotel. 1 have called the streets narrow*. In few places are they wide enough to allow two carriages to pass abreast. 1 was tld they were not originally intended for carriages, and that in the time when the town belonged to Spain, many of them were floored wish an artificial stone, composed of shells and mortar, which in this climate takes and keeps the hardness of rock, and that no other vehicle than a baridbur rovv was allowed to pass over them, in some places you see remnants of this ancient pavement, but for the most part it has been ground into dust under the wheels of the carts and carriages introduced by the new inhabitants. The old houses, built of a kind of stone which is seem ingly a pure concretion of small shells, overhanging the streets with their wooden balconies, and the gardens between the houses are fenced on the side of the street with high waits of stone. Peeping over these walls you see the branches of the pomegranate and of the orange tree, now fragrant with flowers, and rising yet higher, the leaning boughs of the fig. with its broad, luxuriant leaves. Occasionally you pass the ruins of houses—walls of stone, with arches anti stair cases made ol the same material, which once belonged to stately dwellings. You meet in the streets men of swarthy complexion and foreign physiogno my, and you hear them speaking to each other in a strange language. You are told that these are the re mains of those who inhahi ed the country under the Spanish domin ion, and that the dialect you have heard is that ofthe island of Minor ca.—Bryant's Letters. Noble and Witty Reply. —ln 15>6 Phillip 11, sent the young Con stable de Castile to Rome, to con gratulateSextus the Fifth on his ad vancement. The Pope imprudent ly said— “ Are there so few men in Spain that your king sends me one with out a beard if” “Sir,” said the fierce Spaniard, ‘ifhis Majesty possessed the least idea that vou imagined merit lav in a beard, he would doubtless have deputed a goat to you, not a gentle man. ‘A pretty saint that Mr. Anthony must be,’ said widow Wilkins, the other day 4 Yes, a pretty saint to be inventing dances for the young people to engage in. Saint Antho ny’s dance ! well that beats me! But, then why old Deacon Moody should allow any of his darters to get ihis dance, is realiy surprising— ’specially Permely, who belongs to the church, and never attend* and a ball or dancing school in ail her born days.” Extract of a Letter , jter Cambria , dated Liverpool, June 8. It is my opinion prices have seen the highest points in this market tor some time to come. Fair uplands were plentiful at 7fd and to-day all qualities below are drooping; and unless you send us a stimulant by the next steamer, we will, in all probability, decline. The largest holders and receivers will not hold at these prices, and if your weather is reported good or even moderately so, speculators will take the alarm, and then down goes prices. Trade is generally healthy, but spinners are now stocked, and have the power to resist any further advance. Many here are acting on the reports of the next crop not exceeding 2,000,000 to 2,100,000 bales; but until something more positive is known as to the probable amount to be received, 7d for Fair, laid down, is quite enough for Fair Up lands. Remember 1847 ; your crop then went 200,000 bales over the generality of estima*es, and you had 300,000 bales in the country, and by referring to your circulars and others of equal weight, the prospects for that crop being over 2,000,000 were very unpropitious until October. My idea of 7d being safe, may be considered high, hut if your reports keep telling of bad weather, floods, and rains, and God knows what, prices cannot de cline below that figure —speculators will not permit it; of course barring revolutions on the continent.— Charleston Mercury . Singular Antipathies. Henrv 111, could not remain in a room where there was a cat. The Duke d’Fpernon fainted at the sight of a leveret. The Marshal d’Alhret became ill at the sight of a young wild boar—or pig at table. Vladislas, king of Poland, fled from the sight of apples. Erasmus could not endure the smell offish, it gave him at once a fever. Scaliger trembled violently at the view of water-cresses. Ticho Brake could scarce sustain himself at the si<ht of a hare or fox. Chancellor Ba con fell in a swoon, whenever there was an eclipse of the moon. Bayle had convulsions upon hearing wa ter issue from a spout. Lamothe le Vayer could not endure the sound of any instrument. All these examples serve to prove that while there are involuntary propensities towards certain things, in like manner there are also re pugnances which may pass for in vincible. Nothing is more common than to see persons of sirength of charac ter on other points, yet completely overcome—or painfully agitated by the sight of certain insects, or by hearing certain sounds. Some of these impressions may be vanished bv a strong effort of will, and by braving them until their eff ct is weakened or destroyed. Economy. —A correspondent of ihe Bay State Democrat tells this good story in illustration of a com mendable virtue : A miserly man would often say to his children, ‘Now, my dears, which of you will have a c-nt and go to bed withuui any supper?’ ‘We all will, father,* was the re plv. The next morning he would sav— ‘Will you all give a cent to have warm cakes for breakfast ?’ ‘Yes, yes,’ they would reply with one voice. Thus he would get his money back again, and cheat them outofa meal worth double the amount. ‘Heads take a shave, tails take a drink,* said the editor of the --on Sunday morning last tossing up his last bit to decide. Down come the dime on the side walk, heads up. •No go ! no go !* said he it slip ped. Up went the dime again, and down it come, a tail. ‘There, by Jupiter, I’ll have to drink.” said he, “well, fair play’s a jewel, here goes for a drink.’ ANTWERP, Mat Dear Friend :—Here \ thousands of miles from my own ‘ tive soil, revelling amid the “ curiosities and gems of art Antwerp may well boast of, fii|- the stranger with wonder and tonishment at the rarities meeti n the eye upon all sides. * I was wise when 1 decided upr> n coming, and will be well repaid I have seen so much 1 hardly know how to curtail it within the limits of a sheet of paper. I have kept a journal since the day I left Charles, ton, in which I shall give a pl a j n description of the numerous sight, which comes before me. l am j lighted with Antwerp ! It conlaic| seventy-six thousand inhabitants • the city is built in the form of a i moon, strongly walled on all sides. The ramparts with their heavy can , nons, whic fortify the city, SWm inpetietrable, some of them ih original built by Bonaparl. The town is guarded by military send, nels, stationed at the different gates allowing no vehicle, haggage.oreven a small basket to come in without examination. The appearance of the city is pleasing—well painted, and for cleanliness, unsurpassed by an American City. The streets are narrow, very winding (not a straight one have I seen) and puzzling ta the stranger. The language spoken by the higher classes is French,tho* in speaking to servants they address them in Flemish. I regret much nor knowing French, hut they tell me Americans cannot be understood who have knowledge of it, as the pronunciation is not correct. lam studying it. and like it well, lain pleasantly situated with a Scotch lady, who has resided in Antwerp fifty years, and where American la dies board—the latter none here— I am the only one, looking upon me as a “ rare avis. 1 ’ I have made a few acquaintances, and find them much like Southerners, free and hospitable. Each day I visit some curiosity, and as yet have not seen half the attraction* ; the splendid chur.:bes, public buildings, fashion able resorts, would fill a volume.— The Cathedral built in 1444,ninety years erecting, 1 can ill describe; it is only surpassed by Rome for splen dor ; the spire is said to be une qualled in beauty : 466 feet high, w'hich you ascend by 620 steps.— It is built of stone, the inside is of colored marble r its largest bell weighs 16,000 pounds, requiring sixteen men to ring it. As you en ter you are filled with awe at the vastness of the noble edifice—the magnificent marble sculpfures of groups of Saints and Prophets f the splendid alters with their exquisitely chased chandeliers and candlesticks of solid silver, of great magnitude, dazzling the eye with their richness; and the latter ranging from three feet to eight or nine in height, and no alter with less than eight; some having twelve or fifteen, whilst one has more than two dozen. 1 cannot begin to tell you the elegance of them. At each altar there is a large silver cross, in height proportioned with the candlesticks, upon which is the Saviour, of solid gold ; the Virgin Mary is inexpressible, with her gold and silver dress with pre cious stones —it being the month of May she is represented standing in a grotto of roses in a sculptured marble enclosure with the infant Savior in her aims, with his crown of gold and silver; in her hand she bears a gold cross 5 feet long; the oak, carvings of foliage,animals and men are beyond description. It contains over three hundred paint ings of great age, execuied by cele brated artists : Rubens* is consid ered the master pieces. There are many other churches of great splen dor which I must leave for a future description. I cannot, how*ever, fail to mention the representation of Mount Calvary, built upon the out side of one : On the summit is the Crucifixion of ourSavior,underneath is a model of his tomb, said to b® an exact copy of that which exist* in Jerusalem. Our Savior lies in it large as life, wrapped in silk and
