Newspaper Page Text
SECOND
SECTION
The Atlanta Georgian
AND NEWS
SECOND
SECTION
VOL. X. NO. 129.
ATLANTA, GA., SATURDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1911.
PRTf!P! • In Atlanta: TWO CENTS
0n TrAln . FIVE CENTS
The Art of Being Liked
By DOROTHY DIX
•If the first aid to popularity is to rt-
frain from talking about yourself, the
-est step in the art of being liked is to
Md an interested and sympathetic ear
,1,11c other people discourse endlessly
about themselves and their affairs."
This Is a hard, saying, and probably
,tie reason that more' of us never have
w ,in* cups presented to us by an ad
miring public is because it takes a
courage that is nothing less than sub
lime to keep silence ooncerning'our own
perfectly fascinating selves, the while
„e listen to some deadly dull bore
maunder on about his miserable belong
ings and two-penny achievements and
stupid children. Carnegie hero medals
are distributed for less cause. But the
reward of the patient listener Is an al
most slavish adoration from his fellow
creatures.
Self Is a harp of a thousand strings
upon which we can always play with a
sure hand, and that evokes a music that
will make everybody we meet go up and
fellow us as long as we sing the saga
of their own performances. The Pied
Piper of Hamelln Was a piker compared
to a talented listener.
Therefore, if you wish to be sought
sfter you have only to lead people to
talk about their own affairs. Just ask
.Mr. Man to tell you the details of that
coup he made in the stock market or
how many miles a day he averaged on
the automobile run from here to Chi
cago, or about the pedigree of his dog.
You will see a Joyous light leap into his
eyes, and he will want to take you out
and buy you food and drink, and he will
follow you down the steps, and hold you
by the buttonhole and chant your
praises from Dan to Beersheba.
More. He will be convinced that you
e one of the most intelligent and
level-headed men he ever met, with the
best Judgment and the soundest taste,
and the most brilliant conversational
iwers.
If you are a woman and want to be
popular with other women the short
cut to their > liking is. thru the same
door. Thus,.lead Mrs. Woman to tell
you all about her clubs, and her
clothes, and her children, and her ser
vants, and say nothing at all of your
own any more than' If you were a
hermit in the wilderness, with a few
fig leaves for a gown Instead of an Im
ported Paris frock, and you will find
yourself so overrun with Invitations
for dinners and luncheons that you
could live on them if necessary.
; Of course," I am not denying that to
sacrifice the superlative joy of .bibwing
's own horn—which Is without doubt
the most unalloyed pleasure on earth
—Is a terrific price to pay for popular-
\ . 1 merely state it as a fact that
pularity can be bought at this price,
and you can take It or leave it, as you
like. t- . ,;
Besides the .policy of keeping silent
about yourself because it bores people
to hear about you, and listening to them
talk about ihe.mselveg because It tickles
their vanity to do so, there is a very
nder and human side to this phase of
>e subject.
h Is the friendliness, the humanity,
the recognition of a common' brother-
°d that makes one person take an in
terest In another's affairs.
One of .the most popular people that
I have ever known in my life was a
woman' who waB almost repulsively
ugly in face and figure. Nor had she
any redeeming charm of wit or intelli
gence. Outwardly she was Just a plain,
dull, drab, colorless sort of a woman:
yet she drew every heart to her and
men and women vied with each other
In showing her such attention that even
beauty and hr 11 Haney seldom got. ,
The secret of this woman’s charm
was that she possessed to an extraor
dinary degree the gift of sympathy and
of being interested In other people. She
ha'd tfte art of setting evsry tongue
g-wagging about itself, and-making you
feel that your sorrow or Joy was of
intense and thrilling personal Interest
to her.
If you met her hut for an instant on
the street she asked you sonic question
concerning the subject that was upper
most In your mind, and she listened
with an expression of ecstatic Interest
while you poured out the Iliad of your
woes, or blared forth the paeon of your
success.
And she paid you the compliment of
always remembering Just what your
little specialty was, whether you had
the rheumatism or nervous prostration;
whether you believed yourself an un
appreciated genius or the greatest lit
erary light of the age; whether your
pet theme was the marvel of precocity
your children were, or whether you en
joyed most pitying yourself as a domes
tic martyr.
To hear her name sent up over the
telephone was a guarantee of an hour
of blissful delight In descanting upon
yourself, and it was only after this
woman was dead that those oft us who
had known and loved her, and probably
hastened her end by boring her Into
the grave, remembered that she had
never said anything about herself at
all, and that we did not know whether
she had been/ happy or miserable,
whether she had laughed or cried in
secret.
The Wsy of It.
But If it is true that the most en
tertaining conversationalists we ever
met are those who let us do all of the
talking, It is equally true that to be
a good listener one must listen with in
telligence. One must not refrain from
talking because one has nothing to
Say, but because one conveys the im
pression that you say it so-much bet-
teh than- 1 could, and the history of
your life is so much more important
than the simple annals of mine. To
be effective, silence must be lined with
gold, not lead.
The art of listening with an ab
sorbed expression is, however, easily
learned. The difficult thing Is to ac
quire sufficient heroism to give the
floor to somebody else when we feel
perfectly certain that wc are entitled
to the center of the stage, with the
Spot light turned full Upon us. and
a gaping audience waiting breathless
to hear us tell how we did it.
But to those who have the hardihood
to offer up, their own egotism on the
THE RESTLESS WOMAN: A DISTINCT AND
DREADFUL TYPE IN AMERICA
She Never Amounts to Anything, No Matter How Great Are Her Gifts and Oppor-
tunities---She Wastes Her Vital Forces and Has Nothing Left to Give Great Purposes
The Restless tVoman may.be found
here and there, in every part of the
world. But only In America Is she de
veloped to a distinct and dreadful type.
Look about you and you will find
her. Attracted by her physical charms, a
Fortunate are you If you do not’ find young man asked the privilege of call-
her in your own domicile; and • still ing. It was a summer day and a sum-
more fortunate if, being a woman, you
do not recognise, her as yourself.
And, again, fortunate are you If, hav
ing recognized yourself, you set about
the great work of changing your type.
The Restless Woman awakes in the
morning, usually after a poor night bf
broken ■ slumber, to plan enough work
and pleasure, duty and chhrlty to keep
ten women busy.
There is no method in her planning;
and before high noon she is .all un
strung In her effort to decide which
of the nine plans must be abandoned
in order that she can carry out one of
them. Whichever she decides to do,
she Is sure to regret it soon afterward
and bemoan the fact that she 'did not
select one of the other plans, to occupy
her time. I
Never Amounts to Anything.
All day long the Restless Woman is
fussing about the house, or going in
and out, remembering things she has
forgotten, or forgetting things she haft
tried to remember. She takes ten steps
where she need only take one; and the
sound of opening and shutting doors,
and hurried footsteps, and swishing
skirts, follows her everywhere.
When she tries to settle down to read
a book she invariably remembers some
unfinished duty which calls her away;
and she rarely completes a letter with
out interrupting herself three times to
go and do something else.
The Restless Woman was once en
cased in the.fprm of a beautiful young
girl.
By ELLA WHEELER WILCOX
Copyright, 1911, Amerlcan-Journsi-Ex-
sralner.
mer home, snd no sooner was the young
man seated facing the Restlesr Oirl
than sne suggested a stroll in the open
air; she thought the house seemed
close. Forth they sailed; but six
squares had not been traversed when
the Restless Girl suggested an Ice
Cream Parlor; and ere the cream was
consumed she proposed the Roller
Skating-Rink; and after that the Mov
ing Picture Show.
"Never before or since in my life,'
quoth the young man speaking of the
matter afterward, "did I suffer such ir
ritation of spirit as during that call,
would rather spend my life In solitary
confinement than in the society of a
girl that Is afflicted with chronic rest
lessness."
The Restless Woman never amounts
to anything, no matter how great are
her gifts and apportunlties.
Habit la a Vice.
She can not make progress in music,
in art, in literature, In social or char
itable work, while dominated by this
little demon of Restlessness.'
She wastes her vital forces in fool
ish, petty, senseless ways, and has
nothing left to give to a great pur
pose.
She is a most unsatisfactory friend,
for her restless spirit causes her to
break her engagements; and she never
listens with any focused attention while
others are talking. Her mind wanders,
and she shows by her manner that she
wants to get away.
The Restlev Woman Is always dis
satisfied with her life and always be
lieves It is the fault of others that she
does not reach any goal.
The habit uf Restlessness is a VICE.
It eats into the character, and de
stroys the moral fiber, and prevents the
development; of Individuality and Pow-
er, which are factors ip IMMORTAL
ITY.
For the SOUL Is made of CONCEN
TRATION of our divine-powers.
If we wastp these powers in useless
ways, in habits of thinking to no pur
pose, we waste the soul, and fall to
build a place for ourselves In th* Im
mortal Realms which are mental planes
of Existence.
Tho you keep ail the Ten Command
ments, and believe in the orthodox creed
of your church, yet you can not enter
the heaven of which you dream unless
you learn the meaning of the words
concentration, rest, silence, peace, pa
tience, perseverance, will.
Learn to Keep Still,
And you can never make any man or
child happy, as a wife or mother, until
you overcome the vicious and destruc
tive habit of restlessness.
Learn how to keep still.
Learn how to sit down and read a
book, with your mind on what you are
reading. When it starts'to run away,
pull It back as you would rein in
restive steed you were driving.
Learn how to listen—and to show
that you are listening to what your
friend Is saying.
Learn how to decide on a course of
action, and to carry It out. Learn how
to resolve that you will stay at home
for a certain number of hours, and do
certain things, and enjoy them, and do
not permit anything to change your
plans. Learn how to keep your en-
icements. All this means building
character.
It Is good work to undertake this
New Year.
Sin of Parent Against Child
By DOROTHY DIX
HUMAN NUISANCES
altar of popularity, and minister to oth
er people's vanity, grent are the re
wards In the liking of their fellow crea
tures.
f ^ l FOR SWEET SIXTEEN. # .
daintiness and girlish charm are dominant In this little party frock
’f cor n colored crepe de chine. The skirt is gathered and Joined to the
"•mono blouse with a heading of the material. Around tho slightly low
•* « puffing of yellow lace about three inches in width and a narrow
°* the * acc finishes the short sleeve. The skirt has two bands of
**** puffing and Is also trimmed with yellow ribbon caught at Inter-
f *J* *Hk roses In the same shade. This ribbon and the roses also
Iorm the narrow girdle.
Of all the human nuisances who Jijive
made life harder for us, we have no
more poignant memory man that of the
interrupter.
The man or wwnan, and It is as often
one as the other^vho thinks what he or
she thinks about a subject is so much
more important than wnat you are say-
| ing about it, and who proves this by
putting your speech in two. Is the most
common type. Every one has suffered
from this nuisance and every one has at
some time felt an unholy impulse to
kill, because of the speech interrupter.
Another of the species ls # the person
who calls at meal time and whq, having
breakfasted or dined himself, sits at the
table and watches you eat and even
amuses hlmsel* by comments upon your
appetite. If It is robust, he implies his
greater refinement by telling you that it
has always been quite impossible fo^
him to gorge. If your appetite is slight,
he frightens you by a solemnly deliv
ered suggestion that you should lose no
time In seeing a doctor. And, In any
case, he makes you - self-conscious. Eat
ing is not In itself a beautiful function.
It Is so unpootlc as to have offended
Byron, w-ho exclaimed: “I-hate to see a
woman eat.” If we happen to sit oppo
site a mirror while refreshing our Inner
selves, we arc not moved to admiration
by the glimpse* we catch of ourselves In
the act of munching. And w^are never
reassured by the presence of an Inter
ested spectator. He Is likely to cause
an acute attack of stage fright, and he
Is sure to rob us of our appetites.
' There Is an Informal Interrupter who
comes in the back way. invading your -
kitchen at the eleventh hour of the
preparation of a meal, or in the wring
ing out stage of Jhe family wash. She
is of the same family as the guest who
“runs right In without knocking.” But
fhe worst of this maddening type is the
woman who visits you while you ^ress.
Perhaps you are a business woman and
make your plans for the day while you
brush and coll your'hair, while you but
ton yoar shoes, and adapt your stays to
the day’* figure. The interrupter, who
sits down, always In your way, is un
welcome tor one or both of two rea
sons. Either her chatter breaks your
chain of thought or her silences indi
cate that she is making mental criti
cism of your toilet or yourself. Or, If
you are a home woman, and are dress
ing to go out, she make* you miserable,
too, if only because thru her visit you
are late for your engagement, or sho
causes you to forget some essentials of
the toilet. I met a friend entering a*
theater one night. Her face was so palo
I feared she would faint. A beckoning
gesture brought me to her side.
“I came in a hurry and snatched oft
my storm suit and got Into these things.
We're going to supper after the play.
Mrs. Brown came in while I was dress
ing. It always makes me nervous to
have a call while I am changing my
dress, and I forgot to take off my damp
petticoat. I'm sure it’s muddy. And,
anyway, I’m certain the thing Is com
ing off.”
The pretty little woman In the dainty
frock was on the verge of hysteria.
Tears trembled In her eyes. Glancing
at the sharp-eyed, sword-tongued Mrs.
Brown, I had no doubt she had noted
the oversight and would inform the
neighborhood that the woman she had
Interrupted at her toilet was not as
neat as she Invariably- looked.
Even the hours of slumber are not
secure against Invasion. The Inter
rupter telephones after we have re
tired. or calls before we have risen.
Perhaps an indistinct murmur Informs
us of sorrow for having disturbed our
rest, but the sorrow Is not as sincere,
or at least is not as deep as, It seems
to us, the situation demands.
The most tantalising interrupters are
those who talk while we work. They
are perhaps honest persons. At least,
they would not steal our pocketbooks.
But they have hot the slightest com
punction about stealing our time and
subtracting from the value of our work
by preventing complete concentration
upon It.
And we all know the person who
talks while we read, or who chirrups
hile wo are writing letters. Their
voices seem to come to us from the far
dlstnncc, but If we do not reply at
once, or If we reply'In a preoccupied
way, Ihe ^ voice becomes suddenly,
sharply near.
There Is no cure tor the Interrupter.
He belongs to the small data of In
curable diseases. But he may be In a
measure checked. Give him a dose of
his own bitter medicine. Interrupt him.
Nuisance may curtail nuisance. Or let
him know that you conalder the Inva
sion of personal privacy a crime. Tell
him that no one has s right "to Inter
rupt any one, unless that one be one
of the three privileged classes—bill col
lectors, employers or one's husband or
wife. THE END.
In a speech before the National As
sociation for the Study and Education
of Exceptional Children the other night
Dr. Eaton said;
"The weakest spot In America today
Is the home. This weakness Is due to
the sins of American parents toward
their children. These sins are both of
omission and commission. The pro
found elementary realities of life are
not taught In American homes today.
A simple, sane, moral conception of life
should be taught. The child's moral
gristle should be hardened into a bone.”
These are worda of profound wisdom
whlcjt every father and mother In the
land should lay to heart. Th4 greatest
crime of modern civilization Is the way
In which the average child Is being
brought up.
He or she Is being reared a pagan
and a hoodlum, with neither the fear of
God nor man before his or her eyes,
with no respect for authority, no regard
for law. no Idea of obedience, no recog
nition of the rights of others, no con
ception of duty, no vestige of self-con
trol.
The grossest material philosophy
goes to no other such end as it Is em
bodied in the iHodern child, whose sole
theory of life Is to take the best It can
get for Itself without regard for the
feelings or the rights of others, and to
get this best by trampling rough shod
over everybody who stands In Us way.
The Reason Why.
To any thoughtful person who re
gards this system of educating youth
It Is no wonder that our prisons are
filled with boy criminals, or that on
every corner of the streets we see that
most tragic of figures—a little, unde
veloped, unformed girl, still a child In
years, who has taken the easiest way
to the finery and gayety she craves; or
that our divorce courts are crowded
with the matrimonial quarrels of men
and women who lack the courage to
and women wno lack the courage to unwaveringly before her, l» never the
endure disappointment, and keep the girl who goes wrong. I Sho has that In
the sort of a woman who changes hus
bands as often as she does fashions?
Nine-tenths of, all the crime and sin
and misery of the world can bo laid
right at the door of the wrongdoer’s
parents, and. for myself, I confess that
when I hear about the pathetic old
father or the heartbroken old mother
of the murderer or tho thief, or the
g|rl who has gone astray, I haven’t
got' many tears to shed. I feel like
saying to the parent: "You are the
real sinner. It’s your fault that this
criminal stands before the bar of Jus
tice. If you had done your duty this
man or woman would be living a good,
useful life, a blessing. Instead of a
curse, to humanity.”
This sounds hard, but every word of
it Is true, for, except in the case of the
Insane, congenltlve Idiots, there Is not
a crime committed in which tho par
ents are not the alders and abettors of
it; there Is not a crime committed that
they could not have prevented had they
done their duty by their children.
When you let your tittle boy fly into
blind rages in which ho beats the fur
niture, and bites, and Kicks everybody
about him, you are raising up a poten
tial murderer. When you let your little
boy have another piece of pie because
he cries for It, altho you know that It
will mako him sick, you have started
him on the way to being a drunkard
and Indulging bis appetite at any cost.
When you let your little boy give up
every little task because it's hard, and
because he wants to play' Instead of
work, you foredoom him right then and
there to being one of the failures in life.
Given a normal child,- and its future
Ilea In the parents' hands. The boy
that Is taught obedience and self-con -
trol, respect for authority and regard
for the rights of others, never grows up
to be a drunken hoodlum. The boy that
Is brought up In the knowledge of the
dignity of labor, and wno is held re
sponsible for the performance of cer
tain duties, and who Is taught that
there Is no shame greater than that of n
man not being able to stand on his own
feet, does not degenerate Into an Idler
and & loafer. The girt who is taught
modesty of behavior, and has high
Ideals of sweetness and purity held
unwaveringly before Jier, is never the
obllgatlons they had assumed.
Sad as these cases are, common as
they are, when you see how the average
family Is reared the marvel Is not that
there are so many such instances, but
that they are so few.
How can you expect a boy who haB
never been taught obedience at home
to have any respect for law and au
thority outside of the home? How can
you expect a boy who has never had
any regard for the rights of others
Instilled Into him, to keep hla hand
out of the cash drawer of hie employer
when he gets the opportunity to steal?
How can you expect a boy who has
never been forced to control himself
to resist temptation when It comoa
his way?
How can you expect a girl who haa
been taught by example. If not by
precept, that fine clothes are the ends
of life to a woman, not to get them tfny
way she can? How can you expect a
girl who has hod nothing In her cul
tivated except vanity and extrava
gance and selfishness, to be anything
but a curse to the husband who gets
her? How can you expect a girl who
has been Indulged in her every whim
all of her life to become anything but
her own heart that beats all the chap
erons In the wbrld.
Not New Faots.
These are not new facth. There’s no
father or mother so dull as not to know
them better than any one can tell him
or her. Yet, every day on tho street
cars wo see well dressed boys, whose
appearance shows they come from good
families, whose behavior Is that of
hoodlums, and who are being permitted
to grow up Into being toughs. We see
these samo boys defacing, the property
in apartment houses and making life
hideous for the other tenants.
Wc hoar their parents’ mournful la
ment that they can not control Johnnlo
or Willie. We are accosted on the
streets by beautiful and elegantly
gowned little girls who beg for money
for soda water, and call after us epi
thets of the sluma when we refuse tn
hand over a dime, and we wonder what
these children's parents are thinking
about.
And the pity of It all Is that these
parents are making criminals of their
children thru love. They are so tender
to their precious darlings they can not
bear to deny them anything evon for
the child's ultimate good. Thfly, them
selves, are so weak and flabby they
lack the strength to harden the muscles
of the child’s morals so that It will he
enabled to withstand the strain of life.
To every father and mother that
reads these words I commend Dr.
Eaton's advice.
HIS MAJESTY, THE BABY
If it were not for the love babies
bring with them Into this world, how
many, of tile little red things would be
kept over night?
Alter tile baby has arrived its father
has to fall down in a fit and kick tho
chandelier to attract his wife's atten
tion and sympathy, tho previous to its
arrival, if ho complained of an aching
coni she was ready with a remedy. The
first baby Is a more serious rival than
any man knew in hts courtship days.
After tt comes, Its father feels very
much as an old doll looks when its own
er gets a new one for Christmas, and-tf
he starts off to work In the morning
without kissing the baby's mother good
bye. she doesn't notice that he has neg
lected to observe a very Important cus.
tom. Should he want to kiss her, he
must wait till she rids her mouth of
pins.
The first accident Insurance taken
out for the baby is a safety pin, anil tho
the house was run pretty well without
safety pins before the baby fame, after
Its arrival they arc used for everything,
even on father's clothes.
The women, who love all kinds ct
babies, compare the kind that keeps Its
mouth open with a little bird, and the
men, who love without poetic senti
ment. look at the open mouth and won
der if it Is going to have good sense.
V/hsn Baby Sings.
The sweetest and tenderest of lullaby
songs ore sung on the stage, and if a
baby happens to be In the audience that
needs putting to sleep the audience
protests with a roar. Baby soon learns
that lullaby songs are not sung accord.
Ing to fashion unless siing loud enough
to wake up every baoy In the block.
There are many reasons why It Is a
good thing to have a baby in the house.
By FRANCES L. CARSIDE
Its presence broadens one's sympathies
increases one's capacity for love, and
takes the attention of the mosquitoes
from the grown folks.
The men like to say a woman can't
run. There is-a notable exception to this
rule. When the baby cries, its mother
can outrun any male sprinter the world
ever knew.
Sometimes the baby comes into the
world with a serious handicap—a moth
er whose breasts are filled with indig
nation at the wrongs of her sex.
Here of late babies are so improved
that they wake 'up laughing, and when
a baby cries its father voluntarily looks
at Itsmother to see If she heard It.
Even a colicky baby Is more desirable
to have next door than a graphophone,
for tlie reason that if its parents keep It
.It may grow to be a useful citizen, but
r graphophone will never be anything
but a graphophone.
Would you be as good as the baby If
a lot of glanta got around you with the
Idea that to amuse you they must pinch
your cheeks and pinch you In the ribs,
and ever so often your mother took you
to a place downtown where a man
looked at you thru aome sort of a ma
chine after first scaring you to death by
ringing a bell, or having an Imitation
bird sing, that he might make a picture
of you that has no more expression
than a lump of dongb?
Always a Baby.
If the baby Is treated right, the floors
always look as if they had been swept
n-lth a hasty glance, and If the baby is
the first of a number, it is grown up at
ten. and If it Is the last U la still con
sidered a baby at *S.
If it gets a toy balloon, Its possession
means two weeps—a weep to get It and
a weep a few minutes later when It
blows up—and all thru life Its Joys are
attended this way.
When the baby cries, its mother
doesn't scold. She looks It over toy of
fending pins and waist bands that
pinch, and this excuse for tears and
temper attends no one over the age of
five. There la always some one to pull
the baby back from the fire to keep tt
from burning Itself. There la always
some one tempting It to play with fire
when it Is grown.
A man never knows how small hla
house Is until the baby screams, nor
how large until the baby la dead.
Ask a baby what Its name Is, and Its
mother will wipe Ita nose and say:
"Tell the gentleman.” Every time aome
one looks at It Its mother Is'reminded
that it is time to wring ita nose. There
fore don't look at the baby.
The father comes home In great ex
citement to tell hia wife his rich uncle
has failed. "Is that no?" she will say.
"Do you know, I think the baby la look
ing more like you." He tells her of a
change In the map of the world, and
she replies, "The baby hasn't cried once
today," and his delight In an election la
met with a eulogy on baby's new food.
All these things and more come to
pass when there arrives In • home Hia
Majesty the Rahv
Wilt Child.
From Punch.
The Rector- "Now. Molly, would you
rather be beautiful or good?”
Molly—"I'd rather be beautiful and re
pent."
At Hie Mercy.
From The New York Evening Mall.
Householder—"Here. Drop that coat and
clear out!"
Burglar—"You be quiet, or t'D wake
your wife and give her this letter I found
In your pocket."
GRAY ZiBELiNE AND FuS
Gray zlbeline was the material used for this flniah etreet suit This
was effectively trimmed with black baby lamb. > 1—
closes with a single button and haa the strop belt
which haa been ao popular for the longer coats this year, Ther. r.
revere, the front and cuffs being finished with a band of fur. Th.< skirt hai
a tablier front with a curving band of fur running from either sid.- .
the back. Gray soft felf hat with black novelty win at the .-id--.