Newspaper Page Text
6
Ruth Randall’s Diary Tells of Vain Struggle to Keep Happiness in Home
PARTING OF WAYS COMES
* AFTER 3 BITTER YEARS
#afe ~financially, but how long will
We remain so”
(Note: The “Cora™ alluded to was Mrs.
mddl'. sister, and the reference nr-nllsi
her tragedy. William Niemann, &
‘Drother of Walter Niemann, to whom Cora
'syas married later, was found shot to
ideath in a Chicago hotel in 1905, He was
‘about to be married to a Chicago society
m in the hotel room with him was
! le Mcleod, a beautiful young woman,
awho was shot below the heart. She had |
Qu"f"’ obsessed with jemiousy at the
ught he was to wed another, Bhe re
covered from her wound and was ac
}g:ted of merder.)
VER WILL LOVE
WANOTHER MAN.
" January 7, 1914—A new year. Norm
Peems to care more for me.
February 4—last night Rmn!dn'
game home with Norman, 9:30, both |
g:‘nk_ They sobered up after black |
ee and Norm started talking of|
Mivorce—for ‘Norman and me. Rey
molds said very soberly and earnestly
p~and with his usual lack of good
. gsense—that he would marry
The poor man really meant f§t
have told Norm that I hate him,
I do most emphatically. I win
mever live to see another man who
would make me really love him,
Efl Blmendorf on “Southern Ttaly,”
prefered the first lecture on
‘”
February 121 cant resist the
hnp(&tlon to write on this day every
nr. Last year how well ] remem
writing so late at night. Norm
I were at the Venice for maca
after seeing Disraell. George
is fine. To see those women
mct with such aparent ease makes
silly enough to think I can. Have
finahed a good, long cry. I ery|
every birthday. Norm has jusr.|
very good and tender with me,
t this morning he was awful Zl
that next year I won% be here
write.
February 241 am sitting 'ln the
Pvln‘ room window. Across the
mtreet I see a little white crepe on a
rr. Lacky child! Nearer to God.
ORM HAS BEEN
WMBNORMALLY KIND.
i February 28-~Norm has been ab
ormal the last few days. Kind! T
gn’t know what to make of him. I
‘to be nice also. Every one t.elln!
I look just as young as before
?.wu married, but I don't think
ghey know so well as I how I work to
gake care of myself. A woman rmust
:;:yl work to hold a husband’'s ad-
Mayer 14—Spring! Norm s stil
on his good behavior. T had my pic
gure taken as an artist's model, but|
don't know yet whether 1 will win.
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The Globe
THE ATLANTA GEORGIAN 088 .. 'A Clean Newspaper for Southerr: Homes '% & & FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 1920.
%y BAIWIE 3, T
We must get romething prelly quick.
April 25-—Jack lLweach phoned and
tried to make advances. 1 was very
chilly. ¥ow vain of men to think all
women, married or not, admire them.
Norm {8 very unhappy, he says. We
live as sister and brother,
May 7—Willard Cotton and Walt
came over Sunday and stayed till 2
a. m. Norm and Walt went to get
liquor and Cotton tried to make love
to me. I told Norm after they left
He sald Cotton was drunk. I cer
tainly gave him no encouragement,
but he seemed to need none. Yes
terday he phoned and repeated his
plea that he should be allowed to
call some afternoon. I called him a
gilly fool and told him to stay away
from married women. All day Mon
day 1 worked at The Fair and got
fired because I refused to work till
6. 1 could not possibly keep my self
respect and work later than my hus
band. ’
CALLS HERSELF
BEAUTIFUL BEGGAR.
It's raining. I wept when T read
of a horse 31 years old that had just
been taken out of the minoes to end
its days in comfort after spending Its
whole life in a hole in the ground. It
{s blind, and I hope it dies soon. Dear
(3od, what an existence, never to see
the sun! But what does it mean to
end one's days in comfort?
Wednesday, May 13—I just looked
out the window and saw a negro go
by driving a red racer. Here am I,
cultured, beautiful, a beggar—while
a man as black as night runs an anto.
Monday afternoon Mrs. Nelson and I
were sitting here visiting when the
bell rang and I opened the door te
Alvin M. Johnson, who was in such
a dilapidated condition that he had
been barred from his own flat. We
took him in, soothed him as one dees
a child (or a drunken man) and soon
he slept.
June 10—About two weeks ago
Norm packed a suit case and, almost
left. 1t was not a furious or violent
quarrel, but just quiet and all the
more deadly. Well, I made a fuss
and he stayed. If he had not I won
der how far 1 would have sunk by
this time,
TERRIBLE LONGING
FOR A BABY.
He reckoneth without his hostess
love knoweth no laws
Johnson is married. I am glad.
God help the girl who falls in with
a man llke that! Sometimes my
Jonging for a baby becomes so ter
rible I almost decide to have one.
1 don't want one mow. I am not
———————————
satisfied with myseif or my Norm.
1 wish to improve befere I have a
child to depend upon me and then
1 am not worthy t¢ be a mother.
Ahearn rhoned yesterday; made ad
vances, but | gave him no chance
He i 5 as bad as W. Cotton. Men,
wa strong and flne you snould be,
ut-—
JUNE 80.-—~Mother and her two
daughters and their respective hus
bands went to the Green Mill Gar
dens, where the eldest son-in-law
paid for food and drink. I do wishl
Norm and 1 had money, Last Thurs
day evening went to mother’s where |
she informed me of the lmpossibmty’
of keeping my spotless reputation if |
I continue to go about in public wiih ’
my neck so exposed.
Mother speaks of my neck being
too low, and my husband of my ekirts
being too high. Heaven bhelp me.
Cora asked if Norm would be ef
fended if Wallle offered him two old
suits. He would feel offended !f they
were not offered. Norm worked Sun
day for a while and brought me home
some candy and carnations, bless his
heart, 1
NORM GOES BACK. ]
TO FOLKS.
JULY 15.—~Norm has borrowed B‘.’s‘
on his pay, to be paid back $5, twice
a month, lLord knows how we wili
do it. I will simply have to get a
job, we are €0 hard up.
SPPTEMBEER 26.—saturday night.
Diary, dear, I am miserable. Norm
has left to live with his folks. I'll
just put a few curls up. I must look
pretty. I would feet lots better if 1
had a dog here to keep me company,
and, believe me, I almost had one.
I saw It alone on the street when I
was walking to the “L” with Norm.
We Jjust nodded good -by—didn't
even shake hands. What a funny
world, Norm will give me about S6O
a month. At ni?ht it will seem mighty
strange to be alone. God bless me and
keep me a little good—just a little
good!
My fond affection thou hast seen;
Then judge of my regret
To think more happy thou hadst
been
If we had never met.
HE RETURNS TO
LIVE WITH WIFE.
OCTOBER 8.-—Thursday evening,
8:10. Norm is back. I thought he
would come home, but not quite as
soon.
| learned to smoke Saturday
night without any trouble, cough
ing ar anything. Why, it's the eas
iest thing in the world, I'm a fiend
now. Aravella came over Monday
night. She and T dined at the Broad
way. When we returned, about 8:30,
we found at the door a cake, two
evening papers and two sheets of
‘music, one of which Norm had writ
ten on saying he loved me.
About 9 he phoned and came di
rectly over here. His voice was so
changed 1 hardly knew it, and when
he came I saw he had been suffer
ing keenly. His eyes were, oh! So
sad, and something, it seemed the
very life, mad gone out of him.
SHE RECEIVES AN
ANONYMOUS THREAT.
NOVEMBER 4-—Some old cat was
on the wire this morning while I
talked to Mrs, Harmer. She made a
Money
Back
on
Request
Attt
noise all the time, and when I sald
I'd tell the manager she said I would
not dare, as she knew too much
about me. I phoned Norm to tell
him about her. Is it any wonder 1
hate women and men?
I am unhappy, though Norm is
back again and says he loves me.
He doesn’t act it, and won't kiss me.
| n‘lllpp-so as long as he won’t others
wall,
That telephone woman has my
goat. I'll bet she goes to church on
Sunday. Two weeks ago this Satur
day I posed and got $5.
December 13.-—1 am nearly insane
thinking of all we owe and that I—
talented me—can’t do a thing to earn
money. 1 wonder what ten Yyears
from now will show. Norm will get
ahead, I'm sure. I've helped him all
I ean, I think. Our apartment is so
pretty. Norm has been going to
leave, but is still here, thank heaven.
SHE POSES FOR A
CORSET COMPANY.
December 18.-—~Have ben posing for
a corset company. Earned $4 yester
day. We are about $75 behind. Norm
has been betting on the ponies and
luckily won the five times he bet—
enough to square sis debts at the of
fice. My bracelet I saw just a year
ago is still at Fields’. I'd love to
have it, but all the money I get goes
for the house and I can’t save enough
for the bracelet till I work a little
longer. I am glad Ica nget it to do.
Monday, January 4, 1915.—The New
Year is becoming a very commopn
thing with me. So far I have cried
every day, and when the whistles
blew at 12 1 was walking and get
ting ready for bed. Great time we
had. Christmas Norm gave me a
bracelet I'd wanted for a year, candy,
cigarettes an dcreme de yvette. I
gave him a book, “Paths to Power.”
Two families at a table make a lot
for me to handle.
Norm’s Aunt Mary didn't fall dead
when she saw me smoke; even mam
ma s used to it, though the first
time she fwalked out of the room.
Now she would rather se me smoke
than see Norman get drunk. Savage
was here New Years BEve and Snei
der came over.
CRIED WITH SURGE
OF DEAR OLD LOVE.
I have heard of reasons manifold
Why love must needs be blind,
Bt this, the best of all, I hold—
His eyes are in Ris mind.
When 12 o'clock whistle blew Norm
and 1 were alone, but not near each
other, He came into the room and
got me, and I cried with a surge of
the dear old love. Then revulsion.
The injustice of everything is all I
can thing of. I don't believe I can
live and bear it much longer,
Tast night we walked to Wilson
avenue and back, and all the way
talked of but one thing—our ideas
of each other, the one moral stand
ard, which is the only one for me,
and the night I saw Norm in Acker
man’s. He gaid he spent about S3O
on his companion, and I asked him
why he didn't spend that much on
me.
If my imagination were not se
vivid and T could not picture what
took place so well I would not feel
80 badly., But when I shut my eyes
1 see his act as though I had really
been present. Oh, God; it is awful.
Norm went the limit that night,
but I did not, thank God. He says
he was drunk and governed by cir
cumstances,
SHE FEELS A BRIEF
DESIRE TO KILL.
I am sorry that T am not worth
as much money as that woman. For
the first time in my life I have had
;the desire to kill-—to plunge a dag
ger in her heart. She's innocent; she
\didn't know he was married and even
so she is not to blame. He is all
wrong. I wonder if what T feel is
jealousy? I think not; it is simply
repugnance for the whole human race
' —their ideas, their injustice.
This is man's world, ruled by men
because they made it. Women sim
ply fit in for man's convenience. It
si remarkable to me that none have
rebelled from wearing the yoke of
obedience—that mone think as I do.
I am al logic. Norm says 1 am
not. Why can not a woman do all
a man does? Because she is sup
ported by him. llf she rebels she is
put out of her home and her chil
dren taken away from her. She loves
them more than her independence.
My darling God, a woman is a
tool, a coward; and, dear God, some
times I do believe thes puppets of
women who bow down to their lords
and masters ought to be treated just
as they are. But how can they
stand up for their rights? They have
ponae, or only those men give them,
ADMIRES CONQUERING
QUALITIES OF PEN. |
1 take off my hat to men. They
mave certainly put it all over the
wwemen. They are to be admired for
their conquering qualities—yes, for
sabduing something that is already
gabdued, that already has the heart
aed life taken out of it.
Dwar God! Why can’t these things
we made clear to me? Why can
ne? women do as man does, or rather
an do as woman does? How can
the world go on? Oh, dear God,
tell me. Let some one explain.
WMust I take all for granted just
be=auge they say “It is"? Should
1 not ask, “Why, why is it so?” lls
ther no answer, no reason? Is it
right? Dear God, do you think—
AVOID REGRETS
LET US DO YOUR
CLEANING AND DYEING
MATTHEWS DRY CLEANING CO.
Phene Us Today—We Deliver
39 P'tree Arcade Phene Main 1240
————————————————
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able ballroom dancing, day
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5. LANE’S
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Yotz o
1T RRR 1)
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‘doest you think it fair? lls there
any answer but the one, “Man makes
it s 0?" Doesn’'t a woman count for
anything? Is she nothing? What
{s there a woman can do that man
cannot do? Bear a child is all that
I can think of.
SHE EXPRESSES A
LONGING FOR DEATH.
Thank God, I want to go. I want
and long to go home, to drop out
‘of this earth where there is no place
for me.
On! that I could believe like other
women believe, accept things as
they are and simply be ruled by the
world’s standard of right and wrong,
as exemplified in a husband I must
belp to support.
Whatever made me different? It
must be my fairness or my foolish
ness. I am sure people would look
askance at me if they know how
I feel. Norm says I go out with
men while he goes only with *“the
boys.”
Why do I? Because 1 can not go
into a case without a man as my
husband always is with the boys. Is
not that ridiculous? It compels me
to have a man when I don't really
want one.
I would love to be a mother some
time, but could I bring up two chil
dren, a girl and a boy, and tell each
that one standard holds good for
both and be as fair as I can?
I am more at peace now. I for
give Norm, but I can’'t forget, so I
suppose it is not complete forgive
ness. Oh, if I were not so bitter—
if I did not have a mind of my own.
1f I could only take things as I find
them.
Norm said early this morning,
when it was becoming light, he
awoke to find me sitting up in bed
with my arms over his shoulders,
staring wildly at him and ecrying.
My eyes were wide open and yet I
was asleep. I have no recollection
as the incident. He tucked me I
bed. I did not move again.
SHE LEARNS HE
LOVES OTHER WOMEN.
Men have died from time to time
And_worms have eaten
Them—
But not for love.
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6.—Bi
chloride of mercury, eyanide of po
tassium-—either will kill a dog.
Last night Norm informed me that
he knows a girl who looks at life
differently than most women. She
is fair and square, a good girl, and
‘he met her in a perfectly respectable
way. | asked him if he would marry
her if he could and he said “Yes.”
And again, later, | asked if he was
sure he would. And he said “No,”
and would not promise to. .He was
not drunk, but just had a little beer
in him.
I have always said to myself
“There i{s no other woman.” How
little T know of Norm. God knows
when he sees her. It must be at
noon and at night, for he is little
late to dinner.
Just read my diary and found that
I am jealous. I am tired of living
and fighting and arguing. Norm has
asked innumerable times for a sepa
ration and 1 will give it to him now
that he lis Interested in some other
woman. I hope she is good.
Tast night T almost suffocated
when I learned there is a woman
he really cares for. I could hardly
breathe.
Oh, T am not jealous, but I really
care for Norm enough to step aside
if he has any one to take my place
or rather the place I have lost.
I insist on marriage between them
Thev will have the chance.
SUICIDE IS NOT
COWARDLY TO HER.
I should like to see her. He said
T should in three or four days. Dear
God, If any one needed me, was
dependent on me; if I even had work
te do, T would never think of death.
But T have always thought of that
gince I've been ten or twelve,
To go the limit? To jump In the
lake? Which is the worse? I prefer
‘the lake.
Norm said, “Let’'s try once more.”
I promised. He was very kind this
morning. I sat at the table and tears
dropped on my pink kimono.
Yes. I promised; and here I sit In
the sun parlor with a striped apron
and a pair of shoes on, writing. If
1 had not promised I would have
been happy now—beyond recovery to
pain and sorrow and despair.
They say it is only a coward who
commits suicide. There once was a
race in Julius Caesar’'s time—the Ro
mans—a race who thought it an hon
orable death. I think it is not cow
ardly, although 1 have not enough‘
nerve to do it. w
I lack either courage or despalr, ‘
Self pity is disgusting, and how I
do pity myself.
Just now I don't feel so despondent.\
January 11—Last night the Whites
were over. Norm had lighted a cig
arette on a tray between us. I took
a puff. When I put it down he moved
the tray over to the other side, Self
satisfied, smug, commanding men
drive me wild. And to think they can
sit around peacefully smoking or
doing anything they want, while I
must sit as “a lady.” No, I must
not smoke. Why, O God, are things
like this?
When I think of the dirty menial
work my husband lets me do, I hate
myself and hate my husband. If he
thought anything of my feelings or
my personal appearance, he would see
that I did work suited to me. I don't
feel hurt. Man marries a doll and
makes her a dishwasher. Wish I
lived in a hotel
1 hate funny ideas. One is that 1
don't see how my husband can loek
up to me and respect me, then let
me clean his bathtub. How revolt
ing is all this to me. Every time )
sweep and clean and make beds for
other men I vow it will be the last.
Fool—l keep on, I do a servant's work
by day. I'm supposed to be an artist,
pianist, gentlewoman in the evening.
January 18—Just did my week’s
Dalsarte. Washing is more than
Sherman's war. Norm brought me
some beautiful violets. Poor kid, he
needs shoes and his eves hurt very
much and he needs a suit. I simply
must get money. The Bssanay Com
pany has not phoned yet. Curses.
Mrs, White, next door, gets my goat,
She is a gossip, a typical flat-build
ing tenant. Peddler at my back doer
every few minutes. Thank you, Lord,
I can’'t hear the buzzer.
January 21-—Gladys was here. What
if I told her the man she is engaged
to expressed a wish to see me some
afternoon?
Men are rotten to the ccre. Have
done no posing. Rent due. House
bills still unpaid. Our roomefr does
not pay. Oh, gloom.
January 22—Dearest God, put my
mind at rest. I shall go mad, think-
:
women are treated. Oh, God, explain.’
Why is it so? ‘
SITS AT DESK AND |
WEARS HIS TROUSENS.
January 27, Midnight—l have just
slipped from the bed. I can’t sleep.
Norm just came after me and asled
if he could do anything. Either 1
shall go mad in a thought I have or
shall change my mind when I find an
answer to the question I ask. Why
should I be made to suffer for what
Norm has done? Before we were
‘married he lied to me about himself
lsimpl,v because he knew I would be
lieve him. Now that I am awake and
lknow what he is, I suffer. Oh, God,
|the pain. 1 loved Norm with the
tenderest love in the world, almost a
!mother’s love and then to have my
| little God broken, Norm is here by my
side.
8:10 A. M.—Norm is very kind
now. I went to sleep on his shoul
der last night. lam sitting here at
the desk, wearing Norm’s old trous
ers and a shirt of his. They are fine
to work in.
Monday night, February 15—Norm
has gone out without a word to me.
[ was preparing for the night. Saw
Eva, the baby. God bless them and
help the little girl to be a good
woman. 1 was, and woke up. Is
that what mothers wish for their
daughters? But then all of them
have not views like mine. Pity me,
dear God, for believing as I do. It
has brought me much pain.
Why, oh, God above, are things so
unfair—or why do I think they are
unfair? Why can not I believe as
other women and be happy? God,
You are a Man!
NEVER HAD ANY
GREAT HAPPINESS.
Poor little diary, I never come to
you but to pour out my troubles. I
never come to write down wonderful
happiness I have had. I never have
any. Yes, a few moments when
Norm is kind, and then all the world
geems good.
Fool, fool, fool! If I had only re
mained a fool. If, instead of sitting
here wondering where Norm is, I
say to myself that I don't care if
he ever comes home, and I don't so
help me God I don’t! I don't!
A mighty pain to love it is,
An 'tis a pain pain to miss
But of all pains the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain.
February 23—Mother asked me to
dine with her this evening, and
Norm objects strongly. He says she
is ag bad as I am. Last Friday
I tried to choke Norm out when he
insisted that he was better than the
woman he spent that night with. I
know what it is now to want to Kkill
Oh, God, it was terrible. He didn’t
hold me or try in any way to check
me. He is on his vacation now,
looking for a job. I got him a place
through Mr, Harmon at $25, but he
wouldn't go. Said he was a friend
of mine,
[ March 4—We had an understand
| ing tonight that on May 15 we &hall
separate. I told him I positively
will not give up smoking and pos
tng. He thinks to be womanly I
must. He-is out of work too often.
Norm's 24th birthday. Gave him
shoes and $3 to have his teeth fixed,
but he wouldn’t do it. He kept the
imoney and said he would pay me
back.
It seems every birthday | hope
will be the last. Why, God, dost
thou not take me who wishes to go
to thee! Take me bhefore | sink into
the mire. When Norm and | sep
arate in May it will be the last of
me. If | loved Hugh, we would
marry and settle down, but | HATE
| ALL MEN!
x HE ORDERS HER OUT OF HOUSE
: The faith of woman is sublime—
| and ridiculous.
: March 10—Last week I posed
‘| When I came home Norm hii me
.| He left for good and then came back
| in a few minutes. So he will stay
e e e e —— e e
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——————————————————— e
and I shall stay until I see my way
clear to go for good.
Last night, dear God, I had &
wonderful dream. 1 woke from a
sound sleep and looked out of the
window and saw two mighty figures,
with outstretched arms, carrying a
child on straw, walking north in the
middle of the street, and people
were hurrying out with the dawn
and crying, “Christ is come. The
Saviour is here.” For only an in
stant did I feel fear, and then an
inexpressible joy overwhelmed me
and I waked Norm, who didn’t un
derstand at first. The next thing I
knew I was in the street, kneeling
and kissing my God's hand, and the
hand made me rise, and I was Kkissed
and comforted. He wore a cheap,
gray, tailored suit and His face was
young, and was not like those I
have seen. That is all I remember
except a gathering of people later,
when He was seated.
March 22—We are a house divided,
and the quicker it falls the better
for me. | will leave in one way or
another. | hope it is ‘“another.”
That would mean peace, rest, quiet.
Norm says look at the good side.}
Yes, that's what his mother did.
Yesterday morning I went in when |
he was sleeping. The last few morn
ings I have awakened with t.he‘
dawn. ! |
Norm drew me over to him, say
ing he was lonesome, and asked me
when his “little girl” was coming
back. . |
We kissed for the first time lin
weeks. ‘
This afternoon it is all off again.
He just came in the den with me
and sat down, saying I could have
everything around here, that it is
mine, anyway. All he is taking is
his personal belongings.
March 25—Sheffler said he could
get me class work next week. Why
shouldn’t I take it, I can’t allow my
self to be sensitive. I'm too shabby
to go out, and I must get away from
Norm. I must,
April 6—Norm asked me where T'd
been and I said “posing.” He called
me a liar and I looked up at him
with a devilish smile, whereupon he
threw a glass of milk on my blue
silk. If he had bought the dress it
would have been bad enough.
I got up to change it. He fol
lowed e into the closet, where he
saw hanging my new dress. {He
tore it, yes, literally tore it, from
the hanger and ordered me out. I
proceeded to dress and even had my
hat on when he told me that I
couldn’t go out, I'd meet some man.
Where 1 wished to go was to his
father with the dress. I haven't done
it yet, but I will,
MAY 29—Norm gave me $45 for
a new dress,
JUNE 21—Norm say 8 he never
loved me. When I could stand it
no longer I arose and went to the
gsun parlor and smoked. Doing
something, mereiy getting up and
smoking, calmed me immediately.
When | am angry at Norm | could
kill him. But when we are happy to
gether (alas! it is so seldom) I am
in Heaven.
SHE GETS A JOB
AS MOVIE ACTRESS.
SUNDAY, JUNE 26.—Mrs, Carroll,
United Photoplays, hired me for Mon
day. Went to Highland Park with
whole company. My part not con
spicuous.
I haven’t missed Norm for nearly
two weeks. If he had any money
‘he’d never be home at night. He is
'so small and mean.
. JULY 18 (SUNDAY).—Swimming
iwith Whites. Mr, W. never wants to
do anything; has the views of most
men—wants to keep women down.
Friday morning Norman so far for
got himself as to call me Susan.
Haven't kissed him for weeks. Us
ually | go to him and try to muke
up, but never again. I feel that Norm
is unclean. Oh, if he had only told
me about himself before we married.
He had all the chance in the world
when I confessed with much tre
pedation about Katie Harvey. He
took it all in, but never & word
about himeelf. God, what a cheat! 4 &
Do men ever stop to think of _'aflgl_
heartaches they cause on account of
their acts before marriage, and some~
times after? Sometimes when 1 bave
held Norm’'s hand to my lips I won
der at all the evil that hand has done,
Dear God, dost thou not ever un
derstand and realize that it means as
much to women as to men to love
what is pure?
JULY 24—Home from posing,
Norm sore. He is putting his books
in packing® cases Now. I have a
weight on my chest. I suffocate, A
Oh, mother, mother, make my bed
To lay me down in sorrow,
My love has died for me today, 3
I'll die for him tomorrow. i
JULY 27.—Norm leaves tonight.
His things are packed. He says I
am not half so glad to have him go
as he is to leave. He won't have to
save money for rent. I am not mourn=-
ing the loss of Norm as he is—oh,
'no! It is what I thought he was
when I married him that I live and
long for. I am desolte—utterly brok
en in Bpirit and faith.
10 P. M.—Well. I'li be damned if
Norm hasn’t told me he'll stick by
~his marriage VOWS, no matter what
‘I do. Can you beat it? Just r?‘
he came in here and kissed me gbo:
night. I had the grace to invite him
to our room. He declined.
AUGUST s.—Norman was late for
' work yesterday and they sent him
lhome. The day before I earned $2
in an hour, and yesterday Norm loses
‘32.50 on his way. He is not one bit
grateful and sometimes I feel I
| keeping the money ror myself. Re
‘ZI story by V. T. Vandewater about
one moral standard, the first story
that ever brought out all my ideas.
How can a man have honor without
virtue? It seems a woman can not.
AUGUST 26.—Have been posing
steadily last two weeks. Have made
$12.50. We needed it. Canning
peaches—ten quarts. Norm and lon
semi-friendly terms.
AUGUST 31.—Mamma over, I told
her the last time I saw her that I
would smcke when she or any one
else was here. She said all right, and
finally came. Norm came home and
went out the back way, leaving me
alone for dinner. It is very humil
iating for me to have to make ex
cuses for him. He is ahsamed to
have any one here because I will
smoke. To think that the WwWoi
should be supposed to have no
sire for that, and if she does should
have to sneak around and do it. Oh,
God! No! How low! Why can nct
we have freedom as men have it?
Mamma says Hazel has an awful
reputation. How foolish! Qne never
heard surreptitious whispers about
the reputation of a man.
If only women would refuse to
marry men who had not lived as
women do there would be a change.
I don’'t see how children can respect
their fathers or their mothers for
contenting {hemselves with half por
tions. I have read an article by
Bertha Hale in which it mentions
that indignation over the dual moral
standard, and yet not one of those
women would dare. Oh, God! | will
dare anything—anything! One man
has wrecked all the happy illusions |
had!
T Smaina sy Wt
(Ruth Randall’s Diary totals 35,000
words. This is the second chapter
as presented by the Rev. W, H. glr
wardine. Another instaliment will be
printed in Saturday’s Georgian.
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