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CLEVELAND COURIER.
OUR COMIC SECTION
Events in the Lives of Little Men
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FINNEY OF THE FORCE Groomed for a Big Event
THE FEATHERHEADS Felix Hadn’t Meant to Say That
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SALESMANSHIP
The new salesman, although very
enthusiastic, couid not he described as
altogether convincing.
“This,” he said, “is one of the finest
blankets produced today, in material
and in construction it is far above any¬
thing present on the market. For the
price there is nothing to touch it."
“What is the price?’’ his customer
inquired.
“Just a minute and i wilt inquire,”
was the reply.—Veterans’ Service
Magazine.
EXPERIENCE NEEDED
She—You say Tom, who has Just
feturned front Africa, is going to open
a beauty parlor? Why?
He—Well the tales he tells of his
experiences makes their hair curl nat¬
urally.
Monotonous Repetition
Life Is a gloomy grand parade
Of bills sent by the «core,
And even when you have them paid
You merely get some more.
Ample Proof
He had been the victim of a tar and j
feathers party.
“Did you recognize any of the
men?" he was asked.
“Well, they were all masked," be
said, “but I know that one of them
was Jenks, the barber.”
“What I”
“Yes; when they had finished with
the feathers he asked me if 1 would
like a singe.”
WHY HE MARRIED HER
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She—What would folks say If they !
saw me in tights at that amateur
performance? ;
He—Probably 1 married :
say yoa for
your money. i
Useless Effort j
Vou paint, powder I
may you may |
The face as you will,
Will rut the show hack the of age the still. neck j
His Part
“How gracefully Jacobs eats corn
o ft the cob.” “He ought to. He's
piccolo player.”—Capper’s Meekly.
Woman’* Good Service
Jane Burke, better known as
lamity Jane,” American army
and mail carrier, was born in
ton. Mo., 1852, and died in Deadwood,
S. D„ August 1, 1903. She was an
Indian scout anil was an aide to
eral Custer and General Miles.
several years she was the
ment mail carrier between Deadwood,
S. D., and Custer, Mont
Marrying Center
Nearly GOO couples from a dozen
states traveled by train and motor
year to be married in a little
house out in the country
Nashua, Iowa, and far from any large
city. They came to the “Little Brown
church,” which was built in 1862, and
which became famous as the original
of the song, “The Little Brown Church
'n the Vale.”— Indianapolis News.
Small Church, Big Organ
Mr. Carnegie’s first gift of an organ
to a church was made to the little
Swederiborglan church in Allegheny
(Pa.) of which his mother was a mem¬
ber and winch lie attended as a boy.
When it was installed, the pipes were
so tall it was a current joke that the
organ that Mr. Carnegie had given
was so big that It had blown the roof
off. V
Treat in Store
Clare Sheridan, the sculptor of half
Arnerican and half-English blood, is
coming back to lecture again. She
said the other day to a London cor¬
respondent :
“My other American lectures failed
because thpy were too heavy. My new
lectures will be light and airy—full of
epigrams, you know. My lectures on
love, for example, will begin:
“ ‘Love making consists in a man
running after you till you land him.”
MOTHER!
Clean Child's Bowels with
"California Fig Syrup”
Even if cross, feverish, bilious, con¬
or full of cold, children love
pleasant taste of “California Fig
A teaspoonful never fails tc
the liver and bowels.
Ask your druggist for genuine
Fig Syrup” which has di¬
for babies and children of ail
printed on bottle. Mother! You
say “California” or you may get
imitation fig syrup.
Bear Wrecked Auto
The Alaska Weekly prints this story
its correspondent at Miller Creek,
“JL D. Cowden, miner, re
to Ids parked truck at Glacier
saw a (tear climb through the
door. He watched from a thicket
saw the bear take a position on
seat. One huge paw accWentally
on the ignition and a big
foot pushed the self starter
with a roar the car started down
grade, hear and baggage. The
took a flying nose dive through
side curtains and the truck came
rest in a willow thicket where it is
a pile of dilapidated wreckage.”
Champion in Her Class
Wife—There’s one tiling about my
she's outspoken.
Husband—Not by anyone 1 know.
Even a peaceful man is ever ready
strike a bargain.
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Masqultoes 0' .,\, \( ~‘ '.
Easner! I Qmcker! I (9,1) ,
\ way Flit to is rid the your new, rooms easier, of quicker mos- ‘ /(
quitoes—for comfort and health.
The handy Hit sprayer floats in :5 '
vapor that does not fall in drops, Q 4i xf\'
from which no mosquitoes escape! \1‘,
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All diHr moneyback. More for \ Fl IT
your money in the quart size. “The yellow ‘
. can wixhthc \ * 1'
black band” 8 V/
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VX/TIEN damp days, sudden
» ' changes in weather, or expos¬
ure to a draft makes joints ache,
there is always quick relief in
Bayer Aspirin. It makes short work
of headaches or any little pain. Just
as effective "in the more serious
suffering from neuralgia, neuritis,
rheumatism or lumbago. No ache
or pain is ever too deep-seated for
Bayer Aspirin to relieve, and it does
not affect the heart. All druggists,
with proven directions for various
uses which many relief people of have pain. found
invaluable in the
iSPIRIN
Aspirin is the trade mark of Bayer Manufacture
of Monoaceticacideater of Salicylicacid
For over 5 0 Malaria
years it has been
the household Chills
remedy fo r all
forms of -M 1 ** and
It is a Reliable, Fever
General Invig¬ Dengue
orating Tonic.
OILS 24 ENDED HOURS IN
Ko matter how iaxie sod stub
bom, Csrboil instantly stops I
pfin, ripens ajtd he*ls worst boil 1
of Get carbuncle Car boil today often from overnight druggist [ f
and be free in 24 hours, fipur- i
lock-Need Co., Nashville, Term
Health Giviii”
All Winter Long
Marvelous Climate —■ Good Hotels —TourisI
C amp#—Splendid Roads—*Gorgeous Mountain
Vie*s. The wonderful desert resort of the West
W|S . Writs Creo A. Chat fey
CALIF Spring^ ORNIA
W. N. U„ ATLANTA, NO. 35 1929.
Shark’s Confidence in
Pilot Fish Cost Life
A pilot fish failed miserably in its
duty and came to grief the other
morning, when according to the fisher¬
men, it piloted a 300-pound shark into
the seine on the fishing schooner Al
den. off South Shoal lightship, Nan¬
tucket shoals. Pilot fish and shark, to¬
i gether with a catch of mackerel, were
hauled aboard the schooner. The
i shark was killed and the pilot fish was
brought to tile fish pier and probably
sent to the museum of compara¬
tive zoology at Harvard.
Fishermen at the pier said that they
j could not remember ever having heard
of such a catch being brought in here,
and expressed belief that the shark
and the pilot were following the mack¬
erel from southern waters. The speci¬
men brought in is eighteen inches long,
weighs about two pounds and is of an
amber color, transversely banded with
darker stripes. The pilot fish is so
named because it is often seen swim¬
ming with a shark, and sailors are of
the belief that it is the shark’s con¬
stant companion.—Boston Transcript.
American “Royalty”
On account of their great wealth
and the generous benefactions, the
du Pont family has been called “the
royal family of the United States.”
There are 74 individuals of this name
in \\ Ilmington, Del., all of whom, eith¬
er by their present holdings or ex¬
pectations, are millionaires.
No one has “three or four offers
he is considering” except the kind of
men who don't need them.
