Now What Excuse Does Prof
Suppose Senior Will Use?
The reason he didn’t have his
(heme, explained Fred Lemmer, Uni
versity of Minnesota senior, was be¬
cause ids typewriter broke down.
There had been other alibis, recalled
I’rof. Edward Weaver. “The next
time,’' lie supposed, "I suppose you’ll
tell me your house burned down.”
Without his theme the next time,
Lemmer said: "Sorry, professor’.
My house burned down.” It did, too,
firemen affirmed,
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FAMOUS WASHINGTON CORRESPONDENT
Most of the efforts of
the bigwigs of the United States
Chamber of Commerce were devoted at
the annual meeting to soft pedaling
the firebrands. Probably 90 per cent
of the business men in attendance
were breathing fire and brimstone pri¬
vately against the New Deal and all
Its works. They were bitter against the
principles underlying the new tax bill,
redheaded about the seizure of private
telegrams by the Black committee,
vociferous against government own¬
ership of utilities and government com¬
petition with private industry, and
alarmed about the trend indicated by
the national labor relations board. In
fact, they didn’t like the New Deal.
Some of them had a few kind words
about the reciprocal trade agreements,
but they were not even united about
that.
But—their leaders did not want the
convention” to resolve itself into an
anti-New Deal camp-meeting. So they
put a quietus on the would-be anti
Roosevelt sliouters. It was not entirely
successful. Every now and then some
fire-eater would get over a short speech
In tune with the real frame of mind of
the business men present. But not too
often.
The answer to which is highly inter¬
esting. With the exception of a few of
the more optimistic, most of the dele¬
gates were afraid President Uoosevelt
would be re-elected, despite what they
believe to be the almost unanimous op¬
position of business. Not necessarily
big business. As a matter of fact, the
United States Chamber of Commerce
is far from being just big business. In¬
deed there has been more than a sus¬
picion, from time to time, that what is
meant when the average man speaks
of big business is just a little snooty
about the chamber. It is even said
that J. P. Morgan does not worry about
what the chamber will do, and is not
even interested.
Hurts Little Business
But the average business man of suf¬
ficient stature to attend a chamber
meeting does not like the things the
New Deal is doing to business, big and
little. In fact, he thinks ft is doing
more to hurt little business than big
business—despite constant repetition of
the idea that the administration's pet
economic idea is the drive against big¬
ness.
Which makes the silencing of the
more violent critics at the meeting all
the more interesting—interesting be¬
cause ofdlie conviction of so many of
them that as the cards are now
stacked, nnosevelt may be re-elected.
That would mean four more yeats of
; the same, as they see it, and they do
not want to put themselves in the posi¬
tion of mire sassing the cat. Maybe
the cat will get tired of playing with
them and let them go before ail the
life Is choked nut.
But—not if they make the cat real
mad.
Some interesting stories of the trou¬
bles some of them had been put to al¬
ready by bureau of internal revenue
men pawing over their old tax returns
were told at this meeting. The stories
had a quieting influence. They played
right Into the hands of the leaders
seeking to hush too violent open criti¬
cism of the administration.
Some of the more optimistic promise
that when the Cleveland and Philadel¬
phia conventions are over, when the
two platforms have boon written and
the candidate of the Republicans Is
named, things may take a different
turn.
But at (lie present moment there is
no diseonnting their pessimism.
Hit Short Sellers
Within a few days the securities
commission Is going to crack down on
short sellers, plugging an obvious—to
the trade—loophole which curiously
enough had entirely escaped the New
Dealers until now. This is to increase
the ma-gin requirements on short
; sales. To buy shares of stock on the
market under the securities commis¬
sion ruling tlie speculator has been re¬
quired to put up 55 per cent of the
value. But to sell the same stock
he has been required to put up only 10
t>er cent.
This is one of the reasons, It is be¬
lieved here, for the heavy decline In
American Telephone recently, which
has caused considerable embarrassment
here, as many fair sized holders of this
stock are very loyal Roosevelt men—
some of them of the “For Roosevelt
Before Chicago" variety so highly es¬
teemed by Jim Farley.
Another Important reason for the
decline of this slock is the proposal to
tax intercorporate dividends. Kxperts
on the subject believe the American
Telephone company would have a very
difficult time simplifying its corporate
structure. If it could absorb the New
Kngland Bell, New York hell, Chesa
peake and Potomac, Southern Pacific,
Anil all the other operating companies
In which if owns practically all the
stock, and put them into one big cor¬
poration. that would avoid much of (lie
tux problem as It stands In Hie hill
passed by the house. Of course It
would be necessary for the company
to include also In sucti a merger the
Western Kteetrlo and other subsidiaries.
But there are serious objections to
doing Ibis. Among other things, it
would make ........ more dlfl^'idt and
delicate the matter of local relations.
Officials of the local operating com
CLEVELAND COURIER
panles are treated with much more
consideration in the territory in which
they operate than they would be if
they were mere employees of the big
company. In fact, the difference here
is difficult to exaggerate. It would
arouse an entirely different feeling to¬
ward the local companies on the part
of the customers, the public generally,
and the city councils and legislatures.
Onerous Alternative
Yet the alternative—paying taxes on
the dividends of the subsidiary com¬
panies—would be very onerous, indeed,
and there is not too much hope that
the senate, in rewriting the tax bill,
will eliminate tills Intercompany divi¬
dend tax. In fact, the idea is very
dear to President Roosevelt's heart. It
might be termed his pet idea No. 2 In
the whole tax measure, No. I being get¬
ting the camel’s nose under the edge of
the tent in the drive against bigness.
What the pro-New Deal stockholders
in Telephone who have been squealing
about the communications commission
probe want to know now is what pub
lie purpose is served by putting the
company to tiie necessity of revamping
its corporate structure. What they hope
for is an amendment, which would put
all utilities In a separate classification,
just as the railroads and banks are
put in a separate classification in the
house tax bill.
The railroads simply must be re¬
lieved of this intercompany tax plan,
they point out, because in many in¬
stances they are prevented by laws
and leases, as well as other difficulties,
from simplifying their corporate struc¬
tures. For example, the Pennsylvania
Railroad company operates the North¬
ern Central Railroad company on a 999
vear lease, bound about by all sorts
of legal restrictions. Yet this subsid¬
iary owns outright the line connecting
Baltimore with Harrisburg and then
going up into New York state. There
are other difficulties in the case o'
the Philadelphia, Baltimore and Wash
ington company, also virtually owned
by the Pennsylvania. These two lines
pay quite a sizable fraction of the
Pennsylvania's entire net income!
Fear Repercussions
Department of Agriculture officials
are just a little nervous over possible
repercussions from President Roose¬
velt’s speech in New York. Especially
the President's laying so much stress
on the community of interests between
the garment workers in New York and
the farmers who produce the food of
the nation. And his statement that if
the people of New York city alone
could buy all the food they wanted, it
would require three million more acres
of good land to supply their needs.
For, as agriculture officials sadly
point out—very privately of course—
1 Americans bought foreign agricultural
i products which, had they been grown
in the United States, would have taken
a lot more than three million addition¬
al acres to produce.
F.rusliing aside such products as cof¬
fee. cocoa beans, tapioca, sago and ar¬
rowroot, imports of all of which in¬
creased, but which are not produced
commercially In the L’nited States,
there were imports of foreign food¬
stuffs which could very easily have
been produced in this country, thus
providing buying power for the
products of American industry, and
achieving the very sort of solidarity on
which tin President laid so much stress.
For instance, in 1935 this country
imported S'?,870.000 bushels of wheat.
43.242.000 bushels of corn. 339.000 tons
of wheat by-product feeds, 320,623.000
pounds of barley malt, 378.000 head of
cattle. 245,851,(NX) pounds of tallow,
22.075.000 pounds of butter, and quan¬
tities of foreign produced fats and
oils greater than ever before in history!
Just to give an idea of the increase,
1935 butler imports exceeded those of
the previous year by 1,948 per cent—
exceeded Hie five-year average by 1,413
per cent! ^^
Blame AAA Program
Part of all this flood of food and
feed imports, of course, was due to the
drouth. But by far tiie major portion
wag due to the AAA program. It was
right down the very alley tiie President
was talking about—keeping prices up.
Department of Agriculture officials, in
their private explanations, say that
while the drouth upset their plans,
there is also the inescapable fact that
they overdid curtailment even had
there been no drouth.
On one point the agriculture officials
are adamant. They do not admit that
they overdid the cotton curtailment
part of the program, but there are
plenty of outside experts who admit it
for them.
As a matter of fact, there are sena¬
tors and representatives from the cot
tori producing states who are extreme¬
ly worried about tiie whole cotton sit¬
uation. They are not talking about It
In public, for it would riot ire popular
back home.
In the year just past Secretary of
Commerce Daniel C. Roper, himself a
South Carolinian, lias had some ap
parent justification for his contention
during Hie last three years that Brazil
Is not really a menace. For Brazil has
had a crop failure. But farmers do not
discontinue growing a crop out of
which they have been making money
for several years Just because they nave
one crop failure.
Copyright —WNU Service.
Uncommon
Sense B i Jolm BUkt
__® Bell Syndicate—WNU Service
When today we speak of a pioneer
we have in mind a man with a long
rifle and a coon skin
New cap who makes kls
Pioaeers livelihood by discov¬
ering new rivers and
brings hack from his wanderings the
skins of beavers and badgers and
muskrats.
Today the pioneers have disup
pea red from the backwoods. One of
trie reasons for this Is that there aren’t
any more backwoods, another Is that
pelts are scarce south of the Canadian
line, anfj jt hardly pays to gather
them.
The pioneers of today tire scientists
and engineers and chemists.
They explore, not the woods, but fields
which for many years were never
opened.
| it is they who build ships that fly
! through the nir at hundreds of miles
an hour, arid who are building iocorno
j lives that speed almost a quarter as
| fast It as Is they that. who create useful fabrics
j which a few years ago were wholly
unknown, but which now have become
necessities to the practice of many of
i the modern arts.
* * •
Many of these pioneers are physi¬
cians and surgeons, who by their skill
can save lives which a few years ago
would certainly have been lost, and
who can restore to strength and activ¬
ity victims of injuries whose cases
would in 1920 have been given up as
hopeless.
| schools livery year colleges and technical
| are turning out men who will
[ become pioneers in industry of ail
kinds, and whose labors may work
; revolutions in many directions.
There will come a time. I am c-on
j vinced, when these men will, by com
! piete utilization of the water powers
j of ttie country, do away with coal as
used as fuel—though they may contin¬
ually utilize tite coal for dyes and other
‘ products needed chemistry.
by
Klemental gases never known be
j fore are widely employed.
Helium, long unknown, now bears
! dirigibles through the air, and will
prove indispensable in time of war.
Here is u /lioneermg which need not
destroy trees or sueep wild creatures out
j of its uoy, which has discovered and de¬
veloped forces heretofore utterly un¬
known, and which rapidly, by leaps and
bounds, is supplying to mankind treas¬
ures of the earth never before suspected.
! What it may accomplish in the fu
i ture we today have not even a guess.
But certainly it will carry on its
program of research and continue as
the days go by to lighten Hie world's
! burdens, and to supply man with a
; leisure which lie can employ vastly to
his own advantage.
I am beginning to wonder what the
people of tliis country do with Hie
tiioe that they save.
Time and Travel across tiie
Distance American continent.
and if you keep an
eye out of tiie car window you will
constantly see gangs of men hard at
work reducing curves, building tun¬
nels and in other ways shortening Hie
time required to move trains from one
place to another.
The streamlined type of train has
further decreased tiie time of travel
from coast to const.
Meanwhile men have become air
minded, and the journey from New
York to San Francisco or Los Angeles,
which used to require months in the
old ox cart times can be made in a few
hours.
Transcontinental journeys have be¬
come a matter of a few days.
But what does tiie man who, after
leaving New York, suddenly finds him
self set down across the bay in San
Francisco do with the time lie has
saved?
As a rule, nothing important.
He talks to ids friends about the
amazing speed with which he covered
Hie continent; perhaps lie sells a hill
of goods, then goes out to see Hie
seals, or takes a trip up to the top
of Mount Tatnalpais.
But has he gained anything by the
rapidity of his journey? 1 doubt it.
It seems to me that if we would
eliminate ail the mad rush to get to
places in tiie least possible time, we :
would gain much more pleasure and
instruction.
* * •
1 do not think we ought to devote
quite as much time to a transatlantic
journey as Columbus did on his, but
I do believe that if we took time out
now and then to look around, and get
acquainted with the people we meet
in distant sections of the country it
would he better for us ail.
A child can make a trip to his local
Main street and buck, and get all manner
of interest and instruction out of it.
Men and women who travel merely
for pleasure have no end of fun.
But it has been uiy experience in
cross-continental travel that most of
those who engage in it are far more
interested in just “getting there” than
they are by what they see and hear
ind experience ob their way.
I do not advocate tiie “back In your
■ uvn hack yard” method of siiending a
life time.
But pven that is better riian dashing
madly here and there so that we aft
ward ran brag of the brief time we
onsumed.
5 *
Divided Skirt and Shorts Combination
That Equips the Young Lady for
__
I’ATTEHV Ml. 1ST.-,-II
Y'ou know yourself that half the
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w hen a model such as illustrated is
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The divided skirt is suitable for
golf, tennis, bicycling, riding and hik¬
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comfort, buttons on tiie side arid sup¬
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g . rm TAKE YOU-’2 CHANGE EV‘S IN / 1 1
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Hollywood's latest rage! CAROLE LOMBARD
FRED MAC MURRAY
Big, de luxe photographs PAT O BRIEN
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fashioned into unique GEORGE RAFT
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TRIPLE SEALED TO The Quaker Oats Co.
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GUARD FRESHNESS
*
__
raglno sleeve and dainty feminine
how.
Instead of tiie divided skirt, you
may have shorts if you prefer, for
the pattern is perforated at Just the
proper length. Notice the small
sketch.
Barbara Bell I’attern No. 1875-B vt
available in sizes 1”, 14, "6, 18 and
20. Corresponding bust measurements
30, 32, 34. 36 and 38. Size 16 <Mf
requires 4*4 yards of 35 ineh fabric.
For shorts only. 3*4 yards is required.
Send 15 cents for tiie pattern.
Send your order to Tiie Sewing
Circle Pattern Dept, 367 \Y. Adams
St.. Chicago, III.
<C Bel) Syndicate — W.Vg Service.
The New Order
Joshaway Crabtree says: “They
used to call gold-diggers ‘Fort r
niners. Today they are perfect
‘Thirty-sixes.’ ”
Then It Started
“You're getting tired of me. Yew
never call me ‘dear’ as other me*
do.”
“A-alii Do they5"
He Forgot
3 lie Spectator—I can't understand
anyone missing a putt us short a*
that.
The Goifer—Let me remind
that the hole is only four and a quar¬
ter Inches across, and there is the
whole bloomin’ world outside it.—
exchange.
Mother Knows
“Mamma,” said little Mary Lou, If
there are any men up in heaven why
is it that we never see pictures at
angels with whiskers?”
“Well," replied her mother, thought¬
fully. ”1 guess it's because most mer
get there only by a close shave.”
Piling Up
Johnny—J'm glad I won’t be Vvrinx
a thousand years from now.
Bobbie—Why?
Johnny—Just think of all the bLw
tory there'll be to study by that
time.
Q '//_// THE UNIFORM ////// :"/'})/////(l;/
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