Newspaper Page Text
VOL. IV.-NO. 47.
I NEWS GLEANINGS.
fcorgia has 2,500 fish ponds stocked
I carp.
jmmerviile, Ga-> will also have a
on mill-
ississippi has nearly thirty marriage
ciations,
ats sell at twenty-five cents per bush
i Upson caunty, Ga.
large cotton mill is to be erected in
lapoosa county, Alabama.
ugusta, Ga., is to have a library
ding at a cost of $17,500.
rohibition is an accomplished fact in
y-t’.vo counties in Georgia.
museum of Confederate relics is to
istablished in Raleigh, N. C.
ome, Georgia., .is shipping immense
ntities of tan bark to Cincinnati.
ne acre of ground in Harris county,
, produced 135 bushels of oats this
avagnah, Ga., shipped $75,000 worth
urpentine to -foreign ports last Sat
iy-
iey West, Fla., receives about 100
ligrants each month from the West
CB.
'ey West, Fla., has sixty vessels and
r 700 men engaged in the sponge
ness.
factory at Augusta, Ga , has just
•ped an order of 2,000 bales of goods
Lfrica.
large cotton seed oil mill is to be
ited at Bailey’s Mill, Jefferson coun
Florida.
iastern capitalists are buying up all
gold mines in tbe vicinity of Char
e, N. C
he cotton factory at Selma, Ala.,
declared a semi-annual dividend of
jit per cent.
lew Orleans, tlvnks of establishing a
le Garden for the accommodation
nmigrants.
mammoth iron furnace is to be
ted near Covington, Ya., by Euro
i capitalists.
company has been formed to oper
a silver mine recently discovered
Gaylesville, Ga.
ie beautiful Confederate monument
olumbia, S. C., was totally wrecked
ightniug a few days ago.
little boy at Charlotte, N. C , swal
sd a quart and a half of cherries,
s and all, and died in great agony,
he first appearance of cotton as an
cle of commerce was a shipment of
■n bales from Charleston, S. C., in
a North Carolina during the past
r sixty-threa new post-offices have
a established and seventeen discon
led.
<ast Tennessee has a county in which
r of the precincts are named Upper
?-th*ef, Lower Hog-thief, Fair Proifi
and Never Pay.
ichard Paulk, white, of Union coun
8. C., has been sentenced to one year
he penitentiary or to pay a fine of
0 for marrying a negro woman.
ohn Turner, of Savannah, Ga., after
'ing out eight years of a life -service
murder in the penitentiary, has
'en his innocence and been released,
ft Goldsboro, N. C , a man built a
ee ’ usin S n ve cypress for posts. The
. took root and are growing rapidly,
f>'ig the fence slowly but surely sky
tsckson county, Ga., is the only place
the South where clay fit for jug mak
ls found. Two factories are run in
'"iinty, and the jugs are all made
hand.
grapes grown by the stockholders
eorgiaWine Company, located
ut hbert, will this year make 20,000
ns of wine, which is the present
a< the company.
’ s estimated that the South has
season paid to the North $55,000,-
IX *' so - 00 °.000 for corn, $72,-
■f k° r Incats ’ an( f about $25,C00,-
■, Gutter, cheese, oats, apples,
■toes, etc. ’
M 'l'le of Tavans, Fla , eat alliga-
V *8 and tenderloins in preference
"h beef obtainable there. The
prove to’ ft’ ’‘tolEpsents
th. n no the® of a
.... fi<‘—tVAl®
T. "‘tick'’ O
it was J , ( n -\cW ect
■ one
c .lllft the
siW-Bahat
®lje Dalton Slvgns.
matter. There is only one like it in ex
istence, and that is now being placed in
i position at New Orleans.
Vicksburg is still agitated over her
harbor. The receding of the Mississippi
river leaving only a lake of still water
in front of the city where the river once
flowed, has a threatening aspect to the
prosperity of Vicksburg, and her citi
zens are anxiously inquiring what is to
be done to preserve the harbor.
The heirs of Micajah Martin, de
ceased, living in Troup county, Ga., will
bring suit against the city of Atlanta to
to recover 2021 acres of land in the very
heart of the city. The Kimball House
stands on part of the property. Martin
bought the land when it was covered
with brushwood, and never sold or deed
ed it to anyone. The deeds are now in
possession of the heirs.
In Smith county, Virginia, a well dig
ger dug 360 feet in to the earth before
striking water, and then went through
with a plunge into a subterranean’lake.
Being hauled to terra firma again, he
and his assistant let down a small boat,
and, as the distance between the top of
the water and the earth wMfe several
feet rode over five miles before finding
an outlet, of the lake, a spring in the
side of a hill. The lake is a great won
der.
There is a weed in the South known
as the wild coffee plant, which has caused
the planter a good deal of trouble and
annoyance, and has consequently been
greatly despised, ft has recently been
discovered that the plant has its use, as
rope can be made from it equal to the
best hemp, and stronger and finer than
jute. The discovery was made by a ne
gro who needed a piece of rope, but
could find none. On looking around
his attention was attracted to'this plant,
and he cut the stalks and treated them
i i the same manner he had been accus
tomed to soe hemp treated in Kentucky,
and the result was a fibre of good length
and of surprising strength, which the
old man soon converted into rope.
Human Progress.
It is said that there is a certain fixed
amount of cruely in every society, ml
that the only difference is the f«nn in
which it is expressed. Where people,
for example, who are kind to animals,
are frequently unkind, or at least not
sympathetic, with those of their own
kind. The venerable Henry Bergh, of
New York, is charged with being willing
to sacrifice the health and comfort of his
own species to that of the quadrupeds he
champions. The philanthropist that
devotes his time to alleviating the wrongs
of mankind is often accused of neglecting
his family and allowing them to suffer,
while the cold, selfish, cross, grasping,
hard moneymaking man of the world,
is at home an affectionate husband and a
tender father. Whether this be true or
not, it is in a degree' confirmed by tbe
apparent advance in humanity already
made at Yale College. There have
been years in the history of that instiu
tion \vhen “hazing” was practiced.
But that has been abandoned of late.
Instead of that Mr. Wm. M. Evarts’ son
has introduced badger hunting—he hav
ing procured a badger for that purpose
—and rat-killing. He has a terrier
• which is “death on rats,” and the other
- day having procured a crateful of the ani
mals from New York, he left them loose
in the college yard. His dog killed
• twenty-seven rats in six minutes, and the
members of the sophomore class aban
doned their recitations to witness the
’ slaughter.
Now this is an advance on “hazing”
( and shows progress.
, A Cat’s Angry Passions.
Mr. H. P. Burkinroad, a merchant ol
Wills Point, Texas, is the owner of an
old cat and young kittens, which he
’ keeps in his store on Fourth street.
- Some time ago a man drove up in front
j of the store and hitched hi<* horses. The
kitten was playing in the street, when it
went near one of the horses and rubbed
against its feet. The horse kicked the
kitten, throwing it some distance on the
s ground. This so angered the old cat
I that she sprang upon the horse’s back
) and frightfully tore its skin with her
t claws. The horse became so frightened
at this unexpected attack that he tried
to break loose. She then stopped until
s the horse became quiet, then she re
newed the attack. This was repeated
several times, until the enraged feline
’ seemed to have wreaked her vengeance
- on her large adversary, then she returned
to the kitchen and licked and otherwise
caressed the little sufferer. — Wl» Point
Chronicle.
g It was a spring night. The fire had
gone out in the furnace, the thermometer
stood at 30° above zero and the lovers
8 were the sole occupants of the parlor,
i Presently her mother came to the head
s of the stairs and in a voice like the
scream of a steam whistle cried:
“Amandy, come up into the sitting room
■ immejitly; I’m afraid you’ll catch your
e death a cold down there.” But Amandy
answered in soft, lute-like tones: “Don’t
e make a fool of yourself, ma. Charley’s
1 keeping me as warm as toast”
DALTON, GEORGIA, “SATURDAY, JULY 8, 1882,
TOPICS OF THE DAY.
There are 10,700 men on the police
force of London.
In five months eight persons have
• been killed by the cable cars in Chicago.
The Sultan is to grant Jewish refu
gees from Russia tracts of land in Syria
and Mesopotamia.
At Mobile, Alabama, female violators
of the law are required to work out their
fines in the chain gang.
A facetious contemporary suggests
that Congress investigate the Western
cyclones while they are at it.
Arabi Bey is applying the Mouroe
doctrine in Egypt by planting dynamite
torpedoes along the Suez Canal.
The person who has attracted consid
erable attention the past year, may now
be spoken of as the late Mr. Guiteau.
■».<»»
Statistics of immigration show that
very few of the foreigners who come to
this country go to the Southern States.
In the State of Mississippi there are
30,000,000 acres of land, of which less
than 5,000,000 acres are under cultiva
tion.
London publishers bribe school teach
ers with theater tickets and champagne
suppers to buy and recommend the buy
ing of their books.
James Russell Lowell and Dr.
Leonard Woolsey Bacon, according to
the Washington Post, think of running
for Congress next fall.
-
. Mrs. Langtry has begun to under
stand something of American advertis
ing. She took a special train from Ed
inburg to London, at a cost of SSOO.
The famous Dalrymple farm of
Dakota is to be divided, Mr. George
Howe, an oil prince of Pennsylvania,
having bought 30,000 acres of it for SBO,-
000.
The Belgium Government is soon to
adopt pulverized meat for an army
ration. One pound of the article is said
to be as nutritious as six pounds of
fresh beef.
Gambetta, it is said, sufferers con
stant fear of assassination, and his friend
M. Camescasse, Perfect of Police, has
given him a bodyguard to watch his
house night and day.
Col. Ingersoll, two years ago, was
credited with having made $200,000 out
of a silver mine, but if present rep-rts
are correct, he to-day counts himseli out
$50,000 on said silver mine.
Chinese immigrants are arriving into
British Columbia in large numbers, and
the Chinese merchants of San Francisco
predict tbe arrival of 40,000 of their
countrymen before next October.
Sixteen smallpox patients in San
Francisco, while being convoyed in a
boat recently, were all ups t and
drenched with cold salt water. In spite
of their exposure they all immediately
recovered.
The Jews in Russia and Roumania are
emigrating to Palestine in large numbers,
and largo sums are being subscried Io
aid them in this movement. It is said
that the majority are eager to eng ige in
agi iculture.
lon frozen by machinery is now being
used largely in Southern cities, as it is
cheaper than that from the North, ex
cent at seaboard places. The retai
price has fallen from $3 per hundred be
fore the war to $1.50.
If the expression of the press gener
ally may be accepted as an indication,
Anthony Comstock is getting himself in
bad repute by ugly, spiteful work. He
suppresses or tolerates the transmission
of a publication as the fancy strikes j
him.
Uanenhower's plan tor removing to
the United States tbe remains of Lieu
tenant De Long and.comrades involves I
an expenditure of $25,000, anj is not
considered feasible by the Congre. s'.onal
Committee, to whom the matter was re
ferred.
Nature calls a halt in the worrf of un
derground telegraphy. It announces
that the underground wires in Germany
are turning out badly, and that the
credit of several millions of francs re
cently voted for extending the system in
France will probably not be use I.
“There is not in literature,” says the
New York Tunes, “ a nobler or more pa
thetic story ” than the diary of Lieuten
ant DeLong. Stjll.it was a plain a>d
very brief narrative of facts, it is the 1
reader’s appreciation of the surround- i
ings that makes the story I
THKBB mo tmi-I.Y llueo -railiVM* »
schools” in Russia f'-r the instruction of
employes, established because not very
s long ago it was impossible to get Rus
sians with education enough to be en
trusted with the higher places, and even
3 at this day one-half of all the locomo
tive engineers in Russia are Germans.
A fruit grower at Griffin, Georgia,
i has 60,000 peach trees in bearing condi
tion, besides thousands of other kinds of
fiuit trees. The peaches are ripening
’ faster than they can be sent to market,
1 though 300 pickers and packers are
employed, and hundreds of bushels are-
3 cast aside as too ripe for shipment.
The San Francisco Chronicle relates
that while hunting for deserters from a
} ' ship at Guaymas, a few days ago, the
searchers discovered a man covered from
head to foot with long, shaggy hair, of a
reddish color. On their approaching
him he commenced to run, and they
r chased him, following him for a distance
of a mile or more to the beach, where he
jumped f rom rook to rock with the agil
i- itv of a chamois and was soon lost to
• sight behind a jutting point.. They af
terward discovered the cave which lie
inhabits, the floor being covered with
skins, and the indications were that he
’ sul'l ist-'.' entirely on raw fish. Organ
‘ ized effoi ts will be made to capture him.
—e O
Some of the lowa and other papers
are arguing that the cyclones in the
1 West are increasing in number and
fierceness every year. In a certain
sense this is probably true. That is,
there arc years and seasons when they
are more severe end frequent than at
others. Between 1860 and 1873 those
tornadoes were very rare, and between
1873 and 1880 there were only one o;
two of a formidable character. Bu;
during the last three years they have
been intense and numerous. Doubtless
a long interval of quiet will soon succeed
these tempestuous years. But in an
other sense they will always increase in
destructiveness. As the State becomes
populous, they will seem to be more fre
quent, and will actually be more calam
itous.
MAN AND HIS HUTTONS.
Ills IHethod nt Sewing Them on. and tbe
Ditlirulties Encountered.
[Now York Graphic.]
Did you ever see a man in the solitude
and privacy of his study attempt to sew
on a button by himself ? It is, in all its
details, one of the most interesting per
formances in the world. First he hunts
for a button. Generally, to secure it, he
robs Peter to pay Paul, and cuts from
another garment. This button may be
much larger or much smaller than the
| size he is wearing. Next he hunts a
i needle. Probably he goes out and buys
' a paper of needles. He always chooses
j the largest needles, having an impression
that large needles will sew stronger than
small needles. As to thread, he gets the
coarsest he can find, and this he doubles.
He would thread his needle. He takes
his big needle in one hand and his coarse
black thread in the other. He bites off
the thread to a desired length. Then he
I hies to twist it to a fine point. Gener
ally in this he succeeds in making two,
and sometimes three, fine points out of
one end. Os course he can’t get all
’ these fine points through the needle’s
1 eye at once. He tries hard to make that
j needle and thread get od friendly terms
. with each other, but they won’t. They
i don’t want to get acquainted. They do
I not wish to have anything to do with
i each other. Sometimes it is the needle
■ that kicks; sometimes the thread. Some
: times he imagines he has really threaded
his needle. It is an ocular delusion.
The thread has missed the needle’s eye
by half an inch. It is harder work than
sawing wood. At last the needle is
threaded. Now he tries to sew the but
ton on without taking his trousers off.
This proves a failure. He twists him
self into an uncomfortable position, and ’
so would sew. But he can’t sew so.
He runs the needle into himself, and the i
contrary thread always insisting in foul
ing or in doubling around the next but
ton. Then one part of the doubled
thread won’t work harmoniously with the
other part. One part draws through the
button’s eye first and leaves the other
part behind. Then it gets hitched up,
and the embassador swears. Or the
needle breaks. And then he swears,
jHe may not swear audibly. But the re
! cording angel knows what is going on
i inside of him, and debits him with every
j item. He sews hard. He has forgotten
I all about the necessity for a thimble.
, He jams liis thumb down on the needle’s
head and it punctures his thumb or runs
under the nail. By and by he sews the
button’s eye full of thread. His big <
needle won’t pass through any more.
He must stop. He ends by winding the
thread as many times as it will go under
the button. And perhaps he leaves off ’
with two or three inches of thread stick
ing outside. A woman can, through i
many outward indications, tell when a 1
man has been trying to sew on a but- i
ton. He doesn’t know the shibboleth of i
needle and thread, and it catches some- 1
where every , time. At last the button <
is sewed and nd i s oroud of his work. <
The c ,ty of being cheertm, says r.
contenMfHH-arv, is one which is at nil
timesjn>inding upon us. We >.ave no
i righfcP to be morose or sullen, or acciir, ,
1 tomr ourselves to look on the dark -side
of tilings. HeuHti of the Holemuity |
I »<i ■>’ •?>'>!•< on < life can excuse us for 1
jiving wuy *<> w .'<c-ur>id unhappy I
r <
THAT I.ITri.E COAT.
XT MKB. J. V. H. KOONS.
There was a man, ’tis sad to tell,
Lived in our famous city,
Whom none that ever knew him well
Could either lore or pity.
He was no bigger than a mouse—
I do not stretch the story;
He had a tiny, old-time house,
Illumined with his glory.
He had a ooat, this little man,
He tit exactly in It,
No longer than a half a span,
Nor wider than a minute;
Tliread-bare and old and dirty blue,
Yet all who ventured near him
He’d squeeze into that coat—’tis true—
Till folks were taught to tear him.
It was the coat his father wore,
Yea, father’s father s father;
And yet he'd worry, tease and bore,
Annoy, vex and bother
All that he met about that coat
And its eternal fitness
For high and low of every note
Who could its virtue witness.
Now don’t you wish he could have seen
The folly of this passion,
And let his neighlxjrs choose Ix-tween
His and some other fashion ?
fag? -
Curious Sce»<».
A most respectable jury—every one of
them a £SO freeholder—was impaneled
at Clonmel, Ireland, to try a most im
portant question. During the course of
the trial the learned Judge had to retire
for half an hour, promising to be back
on the expiration of that time. The
Judge then retired, and so did the jurors.
In some time after, one of the jurors re
turned, and stated in open court, to an
astonished audience, that he had been
to a christening, dritnk the child’s health,
a speedy uprise to its mother, and that
her son might be a much better man
than its papa. This caused so much
surprise that those who heard it re
mained silent. He asked a learned coun
sel to give ;him the song called “The
Low-backed Car.” At this request the
learned gentleman shook his head. The
juror then said, “You won’t, won’t you?
Then I’ll do it myself; ” and *so he did,
in excellent style, and concluded amid
the bravos of a crowded court. He then
made a speech on the duties of a pater
nal Government, and acquitted himself
with equal credit, and was vociferously :
applauded. He then demanded that the
Judge should be sent for; and, this de- >
mand not being acceded to by the crier,
he stood up and called the learned Judge
to come into court, on a fine of £SO.
This he did three different times, and in
the usual way. He then declared that
as the Judge did not come he wouldn’t
wait—he should go back to the christen
ing ; and he accordingly left the jury
box, and finally the court. In about
half an hour he returned, and, not see- ;
ing the Judge on the bench, he com- '
menced singing “Rory O’More,” after
which he stepped into tbe jury-box, re- i
Burning his seat among his fellows, '
who appeared quite “glum” at his an- '
tics; but he, seeming not to mind the wry :
faces of his brethren, began to humasong.
He then tried what he could do at the '
Kent bugle, and succeeded to admira
tion ; but, just as he had concluded a ;
splendid solo, the learned Judge made
his appearance at the corner of the
bench, where he stood listening, in mute
astonishment, to the music of the :
special juror, who was equally astound
ed when he heard the cry of “ Hats off!
Be pleased to keep silence I” In the
meantime something was said to the
Judge, who good-naturedly adjourned
the court for the further hearing of the
case until the following morning.
“ Honor Am a Curus Thing.”
Trustee Pullback, of the Lime Kiln
Club, wanted to know if honor com
pelled a colored man to accept a chai- i
lenge to fight a duel. If not, what would
honor compel him to do in case an ene
my halted at his gate and dared him to
come out of his hou e and get mashed?
“Honor am a curus thing, Brudder
Pullback,” replied the President. “In
case you are a bettor shot dun your ine
my it am honorable to meet him on de
field an’ kill him. If you think he will
be sartin to kill you it am honorable to
excuse yourself on de ground of havin’ a
game leg. If I made an inemy an’ he
cums along to my cabin an’ spits on his
hands and hops up an’ down an’ calls on
me to come out an’ be pulverized, Ize
gwiue to consider befo’ Igo out. If I’m
ttHKhuNU tiii dat I km wallop him, Ize
feel in honor bound to rush out
1 niiTriko his nose. If he looms up like
a sideliill, an’ if he ’pears to hev lots of
science, Ize gwine to send my ole wom
an out dar to tell him dat if he doan’ fly
out er dat she’ll get de hull purleeee
force an’ put him whor de ctfives can’t
bite him.”
The Fall.
Here is a boy’s composition on fall
This is fall, because it falls on this sea
son of the year. Leaves fall, too, as
well as thermometers and the price of
straw hats. Old topers, who sign the
pledge in summer, are liable to fall when
fall cider-making opens, for straws show
which way the cider goes. Husking
corn is one of the pleasures of fall, but
pleasure isn’t good for boys, I don’t
think. Old men want a little fun ; let
them husk. A husky old man can go
through a good deal of corn, sometimes.
Digging taters is another of our fall
amusements. The way I like to dig ta
ters is to wait until they are baked
nicely, and taen dig them out of. their
skins. Most winter schools open in the
fall. The best winter school I went to
didn’t open until spring, and the first
day it o]»ened the teacher took sick, and ’
the school house was locked u]> for the 1
season. Once in a while we ha ve a very
Severe fall, but nothing like the fall of
A<lam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
Summer is misnamed.
pride, for doesn’t pride go Lofore _
u tali? __ j t kn own
TERMS; SI.OO A YEAR.
HUMORS OF Till DAY.
“Yes, Pre got a horrid cold,” said
Mrs. Jenkinson. “ I’ve dosed and dosed
uad I don't get one bit better. ’Pon
my word I believe I’ve taken no less
thiMa thirty-nine articles, and begin to
feel like an Episcopalian.”
They were discussing religious ques
tions. Said Brown, “I tell you that if
tbe other animals ,do not exist after
death, neither does man. There is no
difference between man and beast.” “If
anybody could convince me of that it
would be you, Brown,” replied Deacon
Jones, demurely.
“She’s a dear, good girl,” said a St.
Louis young man in reference to a
Chicago fair one; “ I assure you,
father, she is all soul.” “Yes,” replied
his stern parent, the old prejuduce
against the Garden City embittering
his words; “I saw her footprints in
the sand by the lakeside. You are right;
she is all sole.”
A bibulous parson was introduced to
a lady who had been represented to him
as quite a talented artist. He greeted
her by saying : “I understand madam,
that vou paint ?” She started, blushed
deeply, and, recovering herself after a
few seconds, said, with as much acidity
of tone and style as she could command :
“ Well, if I do paint, I don’t make any
mistake and put it on my nose.”
A good old lady, speaking in prayer
meeting and giving expression to the joy
and confidence she felt, said : “ I feel as
; if I was ready, this minute, to fall into
I the arms of Beelzebub.” “Abraham!
You mean Abraham !” hastily corrected
a brother sitting near. “ Well, Abra
ham, then,” was the response ; “ it don’t
make any difference. They’re both good
men.”
“No, my daughter,”said a New Haven
matron, “I cannot consent to your longer
i keeping company with y«ung Jaykins.
i He had the insurance to call me a dow
i ageress, right to my face, the other
■ evening.” Why, ma, that isn’t anything
I bad at all.” “It is lucky for tho
! young man that it is not. Had
, he assumed to insulate me I would have
pitched him over the baningsters.” “Oh,
dear, ma, I wish you wouldn’t mix met
aphors so,” and both women rushed for
the dictionary to substantiate their lan
guage,
“I’m shaving myself most of the
time now,” said the young man proudly,
as he adjusted his head to the back
of the chair. The barber gazed thought
j fully at the gash in the left cheek, noted
I the irregular Maltese cross in the chin,
i observed the finely executed out-line
map of the Hell Gate excavations on
i tne left side, hovered over the piece of
ear that was held in place with court
; plaster, and pityingly scanned the prize
I collection of pimples and blotches which
i ornamented tho neck. “Yes, I notice
you are,” he said musingly, as he softly
; strapped his razor.
On Monday of last week Fogg handed
a letter to the office boy, telling him to
drop it into the mail. This was early in
the morning. In passing the boy’s
desk in the afternoon Fogg saw the
letter. “ I say, Johnny,” said he, “any
time this week will do for that letter, you
know.” Next day Fogg saw the letter
still lying on the boy’s desk. Fierce he
broke forth. He wanted to know what
j in the substantive that adjective letter
i was doing there. Why in the substan
tive it hadn’t been mailed? “I didn’t
I know you was in a hurry about it,” said
the boy, “you told me any time this
; week would do. ”
Deaf aud Dumb Barliers.
A man dressed in a thin summer
woolen suit and a dilapidated straw hat
entered our sanctum.
“Sir,” he said, “you see before you
a reminder of the summer’s sun, so to
speak. I am not from tho tropics,
neither am I dressed for enjoying all the
comforts of a trip in search of the North .
pole. Excuse me, no North pole for <.
me,” and his teeth chattered, while a
quiver of icy chilliness seemed to run
across his whole frame.
“ Are you cold?’’ we asked. “
walk up by the stove and get warm.” «j
--“No, sir, no I warm as the sportivtql
African who swings his juvenile upon
the equatorial line. I am needy, busted,
broke, sir. You see before you a specu
lator whose cart is keeled over and 4
broken, with the horses on a run so far (
ahead a greased streak of lightning can
not overtake ’em. Four months since I
started a barber shop. Now, thinks I,
I’ll strike a new beat. So I just goes
and hires four deaf and dumb tonsonal
■ artists and then put up notices that cus
tomers coming to my shop would have
u quiet shave by deaf and dumb barbers
and no questions asked. The thing took
on the start, but, when the confounded
barbers pulled their slates and began
writing out the usual questions, blow
me if I didn’t discover that I was a ru
ined man. Yes, sir, barbers is barbers ;
and, when I closed my shop, busted up
and started on a tramp, I just says to
myself it’s no use. If dead men could
be learned to handle the razor over a
man’s face, the blamed things would
have spiritual mejiums asking their vic
tims the same old line of questions—Ah,
thank yer, sir; ta-ta. With this dime
I’ll send t* counter-irritant down my
throat that’ll knock the thinness out of
this aummer suit and give my stomach a
cleaner shave than any barber ca ®-
And as the shattered vase retired, the
perfume of the roses remained m the
factum until an open window re .hired
the natural tone of the atmospheie.
JI hife/iall J'iiiun.
T .,n P #
„u wo h-pw M’atwr* A.
oat of