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About The Augusta daily herald. (Augusta, Ga.) 1908-1914 | View Entire Issue (April 11, 1909)
SUNDAY 1 , AFlklL 11. LITTLE STORIES OF BIG BILL TAFT “ How should this letter be address ed, Mr. Loeb?” a clerk in the white house executive office asked one day last December. “Should I say ‘The Honorable William H. Taft.’ *J i Wil liam H. Taft, ‘William H. Taft, Enquire.’ or President-elect William 11. Taft?” NAME IS WILLIAM, BUT THEY CALL HIM “BILL.” i resident Roosevelt had quietly en tered the room and was standing unob served at the speaker’s shoulder. “Oh, just call him ‘Bill,’ ’’ he sug gested, with the famous “Teddy’’ grin. “He’s big enough to stand it.’’ And it is, beyond doubt, saying much for the natural dignity of the Dig pres ident that he ha 6 been able to arrive at las fifty-first year without suffering the slightest loss of dignity, though known almost all* his life to almost .'.s plain “Bill Taft.’’ Of course, there was a family attempt soon after his advent on September 15, 1857, to launch the great-man-to-be with the goold old-fashioned “Wiliam,” but his son shrank, injo u*e diminutive “Wil lie,” and as such he was known to his boyhood friends in Cincinnati, It ap pealing 1o their sense of humor to apply such a designation to so robust a youth. “Bill” was regarded as the proper thing by his classmates at Yale, and “Bill” he has been ever since. ALWAYS HAS BEEN CLEVER. When Mr. Taft’s name was first men tioned in connection witbr the presi dency. doubt was expressed in some quarters as to whether he could secure the nomination. “Oh, he’ll get it —don’t worry,” an old-timer Ohio politician spoke up, “and there won’t be any hard feeling— he has always been clever enough to get what V»e wanted and generally to cause a smile at the same time. 1 remember I was taking dinner with the family when -Bill w r as a little shaver, maybe 4 years old—it was a very Vnformal family affair, and I w r as the only guest. I .it tie Willie had made away with his helping of roast chicken in quick time, bu. evidently hesitated to ask for a sec ond portion. Presently looking nowhere in particular, he began to crumble a cruet oi bread upon his plate, at the same time whispering softly, ‘Come, bid Packey McFarland TeUf How He Keeps Strong How You Can Do the Same Packey McFarland, the famous pugil ist, Is a specimen of a perfect physical condition. Why he is different from an other man of his weight and build is oeM told in his own words in a letter written by him from San Francisco, Cal., dated April 14, 1908: “While train ing I at times became fatigued and fifad splendid use for Make-Man Tablets, as 1 found them, from personal use, the best tonic 1 have ever used.” Make-Man Tablets are the greatest strength build ers ever placed on the market. They replenish the blood with rich, red blood corpuscles, and thereby build up quick ly and safely muscles and eolid, healthy flesh. There is no tonic known to Medi cal Science for men and women equal to Make-Man Tablets for all nervous and blood diseases. For sale bv all leading druggists, 50c per box, six for $2.50, or will be sent direct by mail on receipt of price. Satisfactory results guaran teed or money refunded. For a limited time we will send you a full size box free if you’ve never tried Make-Man Tablets. Fill out coupon below. GUI OUT FREE COUPON Make-Man Tablet Co., 110 Make-Man Bldg., Dept. 8., Chi cago. r A * 1 hav « never used Make-Man J ablets before. please send me through my druggist (Druggist’s name) (Address) a full size 50c box Make-Man Tab lets; also your valuable booklet. I enclose fc to partially pay mailing expense. My name Address (write plainly. Only one box to each family.) The Grand WEEK OF APRIL 12TH. THE HOUSE OF ‘‘BILLIXEKI." CONTINUOUS PROPER VAUDEVILLE. Extra Special Feature ADELE PURVIS ONRI TRIO Sensational European Novelty. HAOGARTY A LECLAIR Real Irish Entertainers, Presenting "A Bit of Human Nature,” BILL JONES Comedy Character Musical Com edian. Special Added Attraction SANDFORD A DARLINGTON The Kirfgs of Funnydom, In a Lit tie Bit of Everything. Bijou graph—Llfe-slae Pictures that Don’t Flleker. Two Afternoon and night perform ances Dafly. Afternoons, 3.30 to 6.30. Nights, Bto 11. ANY SEAT 10c. CHILDREN AT MATINEES, 6c. 6 REAL ACTS 6 REAL ACTS SURERBA THIS WEEK . Same Prices 6 REAL ACTS 6 dy, come, bicdvl’ Of c : im. ~e got a second helping, and a generous one.” It whs when-lie was about the same age that Willie one (lay came Hurriedly to the table, having overlooked the per formance of that bane if boyhood—the act of hand-washing. His father re garded ills gravely. “Willie,” he suggested reprovingly, • you never saw my hands as dirty as that.” For a moment Willie squirmed tin com- ; :-f.. • ... y : / N ! s' . ' - fortably, then . a roguish smile dimpled his cheeks. “But, you see, papa, I never saw you when you were a little boy,” he sug gested. WILLIAM TAFT HAS GOOD APPETITE. Dike all healthy youths, William Taft had a good appettte, and the hour preceding the noon recess at school sometimes seemed long. It therefore somewhat tried his patience when one day a visiting official began a little talk a few minutes before the bell should have tapped, and continued to talk for some time thereafter. “I wish he;d cut it short—l’m as hungry as blazes!” William ventured to whisper to a schoolmate, but, unfor tunately' the visitor was possessed of unusually keen ears. “Young man,” he remarked, “over looking the fact that the remark was somewhat rude, and that talking is' an infraction of the school rules, I would suggest that your comparison is silly. What connection can ‘blazes’ have with hunger?” “Why, sir, I think I have read of ‘the devouring element?’ ” "William suugest ed respectfully. “Very good, rnv lad,” the visitor said, and smiled t!fe same yoju've made-a friend smile that Big Bill has been caus ing ever since. TAFT ALWAYS GENEROUS. He was always generous—has even alllowed his friends, in his good nature, to impose upon him. A Yale man of Bill’s class of ’7B says that once he dropped into the later’s room and found him in a dressing gown and as near a fit of sulks as lie ever got. “What you doing?” the visitor de manded cheerfully. “Nothing? Come on to a dance.” “Can’t,” was the laconic reply. “Oh, come on—why not?” “Borrowed out,” Bill explainedfl “They have got everything—l can’t do any thing!” plaintively. “Oh talk sence!” the friend suggested, rudely. “Fact. That raacal Tom has worn my dress suit off somwhere—that let me out of going to any social stunt Then I thought I’d do a little grinding and was about to settle down when 1 remembered that I’d lent my notes to a fellow across the square, and some oth er fellow has my text-book. So I thought I’d just loaf around town—until I discovered that Jack hadn't returned my razor, so I couldn’t shave, and I couldn't go out looking like a fretful porcupine, and. besldep. It occurred to me all of a sudden that Charlie had borrowed my last cent to buy flowers for BETTER THAN SPANKING Spanking does not cure children of bed-wetting There is a constitutional ; cause for this trouble. Mrs. M. Sum mers, Box \V, Notre Dame, Ind., will send free to any mother her successful home treatment, with full instructions. Send no money, but write her today if your children trouDle you in this way. Don’t blame the child, the chances are It can’t ,help it. This treatment also cures adults and aged people troubled with urine difficulties by day or night. REAL ACTS WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT it 13 all a mistake —quite wrong, in facl.” Mr. Taft once sum, with :i twinkle in his eyes. “Why, 1 did. I got a job almost immediately on a Cincin nati paper, as court reporter, at a larg er salary.” "How much did you receive. Judge?" some one with a thirst for exact sta tistics asked. "Six dollars a week.” was the grave reply. TAFT WAS READY TO “MIX IT UP.” Bill Taft did not hesitate upon what he regarded as a suitable occasion to “mix it up,” and citizens of Cincinnati still tell with a chuckle of the occasion when Bill called upon a certain editor who had printed articles reflective upon Bill’s father, the Hon. Alphonso Tuft, some girl. Would you care to take this dressing gown along—it’s all I "have left ?’’ SIX-DOLLAR-A-WEEK REPORTER ONCE. r ‘You see a good many jokes about fresh college graduates not being able to get a job paying over $5 a week, but who, by the way, preceded his son in holding the portfolio of the secretary of war, having been appointed to that office by Presidest Grant. Bill first stated his views of the editor’s course, and then, in the language of an old fel low who was employed by the paper at that time, proceeded to give the offend ing editor “the all-flredest, gosh-blamcd est, up-an’-down and round-an’-roundest lickin’ that I ever saw a man get, an’ I’ve seen an old-time Mississippi river steamboat mate lick as impudent deck hand.” * In 1880 Bill graduated in law from Cincinnati college; was admitted to the bar in the same yar, and was appoint ed assistant prosecuting attorney in HAD TILT WITH NEGRO WITNESS. Like ail young lawyers—Bill was then 25 —he had much to learn of the art of examining witnesses. Upon one ocoa* sion he had an old negro upon the stand, a witness an experienced attorney would have disposed of with two questions, but Bill seemed possessed of the Idea that the old fellow knew more than he admitted, and determined to get It from him. His question it must be admit ted, were both relevant and otherwise. “Have you a profession?” he de manded. “’Deed, sah, dat depends on de pint ob view/’ the witness temporized. “Answer yes or ns! Have you a pro fession ?” “Well, sah. Ah's a sort ob carpenter.” “That Is no profession—carpentering is a trade,’’ Bill informed him with fine distinction. “You say you are ‘a sort of carpenter.* What sort of carpenter?” “Well, sah, yo’ might say er jackleg carpenter," the old man replied un happily. “And what Is ‘a jackleg carpenter?' ” Bill thundered In a tone that Indicated that the whole dark secret would not be revealed. , • “It’s hard to 'splaln, sah," the witness replied, “and’ de beet Ah can do am to say dat dare Is do same difference be tween er jackleg carpenter an’ er sho nuf, fust-class carpenter as between you an’ er shonuf, fust-class lawyer.” "Step down,” Bill directed, frowning darkly. TAFT LIKED LAW PRACTICE. In 1882 Bill resigned an internal reve nue collectornhlp, to which he had been appointed by President Arthur, to prac tice law. and one of hie very first caeei wa, the defense of a man charged with having stolen an umbrella from a stand full which a merchant had placed Just £lde his store door on a rainy day. merchant was placed upon the wit stand, and Bill asked: "How do you identify the umbrella al leged to have been found In the de fendant's possession?" THE AUGUSTA HERS*D Some New Herald Models TWO STYLISH COAT SUITS In one of the exclusive shops on Fifth Avenue, New York, the other afternoon, the fair purchaser wore h stunning coat, of Ottoman silk in the model here illustrated. Effectively designed with collar and cuffs of contrasting color. New flat collar ending at high waist, line giving double breasted effect. Two large (jrouchet buttons. Pointed sides slashed and laced with silk edged with tassels. Pointed back and open seams. “By its general appearance—it 1b one of a special lot 1 have others with which to compare it,” the witness replied. “That proves nolhing.’’ Bill eomment eu airily. “It is a very conventional type; in fact, I have one just like it,” offering an umbrella for comparison. “And does that prove anything?” the witness Insinuated. ”1 have lost more than one umbrella from that stand!” SKINFLINT WOULDN’T FAY BILL HIS FEE. Soon after this Bill was much pleased to be visited at his office by an old fellow', a notorious skinflint, but known to be very wealthy, and who was eiv gaged in almost continuous litigation. He informed Bill that lie would like him to look after his legal Interests thenceforth, and this Bill proceeded to do, with much success. All w'ould have been w’ell but for one small fly in the ointment—the old fellow could not he persuaded to com pensate Bill for his services. Bill did not like to resort to a suit, so tried a little strategy. FYom a young physician, a friend he, borrowed a skeleton and placed It in his office at a time when he was expecting a visit from his import ant but non-paying client. The old man came in, seated himself and was beginning to discuss one of his cases, when 7i7k eyes fell upon the skeleton. “Why, er, whkt is that, Mr. Taft?” he gasped, growing pale. “Oh, that?” Bill answered indifferent ly; “that is a client who wouldn’t pay me my bill. When he died I seized his hones—guess I can sell the thing for a small sum. Now, about that case of yours—” The next day he received a check covering nil services up to date. TAFT MADE RAPID RISE. ■Events moved swiftly for Bill Taft from now on, and Iri rapid succession he was Judge of the superior court of Cin cinnati, solicitor general of the United States, United States circuit Judge, dean of law in the University of Cincinnati, president of the United States, Philip pine commiasion, first civil governor of the Philippine Inlands, and secretary of war. No man ever had such a training for the presidency, or knew such a va riety of people, or probably had so many amusing little adventures, for “Big Bill’s” good nature has always made a Joke of the little annoyances that upH*t people of smaller caliber. While United Rtates circuit Judge, a washout on the railway once marooned him in a small OMo town, to the “hotel” of which he proceeded in search of breakfast, there being no dining car at tached to his w-aiting train. The land lord himself waited upon the table. “I'll have,” Mr. Taft sold, his appe tite sharpened by a. fast, “some broiled steak, scrambled eggs, smelts, broiled kidneys, hot rolls, buck wheat cakes, breakfast bacon, and, of eourse, you will first bring some grape fruit or oranges—and coffee ” “Do you really cn Inflate to get all that, stranger?” the landlord asked curiously. “flurely. Why not?” Bill naked. JarntHy. “Isn’t this a hotel?" “Wall, yes, it is a hotel,” the respon sible party replied, “an’ I’ll git you your breakfast- codfish#-balls, doughnuts an’ < offee this mornln'. “He turned away, but paused to re mark solemnly: “An’, say. stranger, es w* did have all that you wouldn't get It.” “Why not?” the astonished guest de landed. “ ’Cause I’d cat It myself,” was the concluflve and emphatic reply, a long ing expression spreading over his Mice. GASTRONOMIC ADVENTURES. Another little gastronomic adventure occurred in a southern town, where Mr. Taft wan apparently the only guest at the hotel Ills first meal was breakfast, and two liinber-backed darkles vied with each other as to which should capture complishcd, the victor rushed off, soon the big man. When this had beon ac relurning with a huge waiter filled with dishes. “But I say, Sam,” Mr. Taft protested, gently, as the contents of the tray was being transferred to his table, “haven’t you any breakfast, food?” Sum rolled his eyes wildly. “ Deed an’ wo is, sah!” ho exclaimed. “We got fried ham, fried chicken, fried steak, fried tish, fried sweet potatoes, reed birds, frog-lalgs, hot cakes, corn bread, w'afflcs, biscuits, Ilghtbread, eggs, honey, coffee, an’ milk. Ah dun brung all dat, sah, an of dat ain't, ’nough breakfast food, ’deed Ah don't know what. Ah gwlne do, sah, 'knse ain’t nigh hog-killing time yet.” There have been a thousand Jokes con cerning Mr. Taft’s size, but probably the best of the lot was gotten off by a man who is not generally regarded «s a hu morist —Kllhu Root. When Mr. Taft went to the Philippines all civil govern or, he wan In rather poor health and his friends doubted whether the climate would agree with him. A short time after his arrival, however, Root, then secretary of war, received the following cablegra rn: ’Rode twenty miles up mountain on horseback yesterday. Feel flue. Taft.” Secretary Root smiled, reached for a telegraph blank, and wrote: “How Is horse? Root. * TAFT’S RETORTS ALWAYS READY. Though beaming with good humor, Mr. Taft always bus ready a keen retort, If he thinks It needed, and during the campaign he was forced, once or twice, to “corne back.” He was speaking in a little Indiana town when some one In the audience Interrupted rudely: “Oil, cut that out and talk sence!” “But I wanted you to understand me, rny friend,” she big man responded, and the Interrupter was effectively “shut up.” Mr. Taft believes 4n the old-fashioned womanly woman, so when a young lady “OLD HOMESTEAD" Bread is better-different-be cause we make it so. Different—better materials—Better bakers—white men, artists who study bread making the same as your lawyer studies law. With as mttch intensity as your physician studies medicine. Result is cleanliness, purity, goodness and health. Are you using our bread ? Practically every good physician in Augusta does. Hollingsworth & Co., Bakers of bread and cake. weenie thus man hits Was Assisted By Them When He Was Thrown From His Horse in Wash ington. Mr. W. K. Nelson, one of llie mem bers of Camp 436 U. C. V., has re ceived a letter from Mr. Telamon Cuyler, of Wayside, Ga., a gentleman who was on the staff of Gen. Howard during the inaugural parade. Mr. Cuy ler was unfortunately thrown from his horse and his leg was very badly injured during the parade. Some of the Augusta Veterans were passing and had Mr. Cuyler sent to the hospital. The following is a letter of thanks that he has soul to them: Wayside, Jones Co., Ga. Mr. YV K. Nelson, Dear Sir: 1 wish to tel! you how very much ! appreciate the kindness of yourself and comrades in sending me to the hospital. When 1 was injured on March 4th In Washington City. 1 was cared for there and then came to At lanta. Please assure your comrades that 1 was most anxious to show m.v respect for thorn —ray father's cont panlons-ln-arms that, day and 1 regret that they did not march in the after noon parade. My leg yet keeps me in the housu. but there will be no permanent injury 1 am with much respect, Yours sincerely, TELAMON CUYLER. MR. JAMES U. JACKSON TO RETURN SUNDAY Meetiug of Fair Associa tion Will Be Called Fol lowing His Return. Mr. James U. Jackson is expected to return Sunday morning from New York. His visit was on personal bus iness. although it Is altogether prob able that he will come back with en couraging reports about the develop ment of the Railway Company’s power plant on the canal. In a few days a meeting of the di rectors of the Gcorgla-Caroltna Fair Association will be called, as it. was only postponed until Mr. Jackson’* return. ('apt. Frank E. Beane, secretary of the association, states that ho expects the premium list, to he out, by April 16. They are now In the hands of the printer. The booklet will conslßt of about 76 pages, attractively hound and neatly printed. It contains a list of all prises to be awarded, the con dition of entry Into every department of the fair, a list, of the officers and directors of the association, lists of the various committees, and valuable Information for prospective exhibitors A meeting of the executive commit, tee of the Savannah Valley Assoclat ed Farmers’ Clubs will be hold In Au gusta on April 26, for the purpose of dividing and apportioning the space for exhibitors in the agricultural and horticultural departments of the fair. Other Important, matters will be gono over. on the golf links at Augusta remarked In a, shocked tone: "Oh, Mr. Taft! Isn't It disgraceful the wny Mrs. Blank Is flirting with Mr. Brown! But perhaps you do not disap prove of flirting?* "I do disapprove of a woman’s flirt ing.” was the H*ri4un reply. “Oh! You disapprove of only a wom an's flirting—how about the flirting mu n?” “Wall, Umt’s aomethlng elßc,” Mr. Taft begnn, his eycn twinkling. “I man has excusoH “Oh. I entirely disagree!” the girl re joined warmly. “Whaf excuse has a man that a woman ha a not?” “The hast—the extreme attractiveness of woman,” Bill explained, with n bow. Mr. Taft’s good nnturod thoughtful nesss waa never hotter illustrated than at the Inn ugu rat lon. The fleventh New York raiment had Intended to partici pate In the parade, but « blizzard de layed their train and they arrived too late, bitterly disappointed. f *Te|l the to parade on the Rth. I’ll review them,” the president said. 80, on March 5, the Seventh New York, all alone, marched proudly through the court of honor and past the reviewing stand, before the chief executive, who, though the busiest man In the world ♦hat day. had time for that. “Now, wasn't that Just like Big Bill?” a mllltlnman naked fondly. It was moat typical in fact. PAGE SEVEN LYNHURST NEWS The farmers in this section are well up with their work. Corn is com ing up and some cotton has been planted Winter lingers long in the lap of Spring and the weather is cold enough for fire. Mrs. F. H. Ganot and Miss Minnie Hay are visiting relatives in Beau fort and will not return till after Easter. Miss Bertha Winter of Hephzibah was here on Sunday. She visited here several years ago and her many friends were glad to see her. Mr. Jack Owens of Allendale waa here one day last week. Fishing seaspn is on now, but there are more fishermen than fish. THE MAN WHO WON. “I despise that fellow over there/’ said Mr. Ponsonby. “And why?” “Well, he was my defeated rival for the hand o! Mrs. Ponsonby.” “i see; and you can’t forget, it.” “Confound the luck, he won’t let me forget it! Why, every time ha sees me h<‘ grins!”—Exchange. Gains 30 Pounds in 30 Days Remarkable Result, of the New Tissue Builder Protone,Many Cases of Run Down Men and Women. 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