Newspaper Page Text
THE WAYNE TRIUMPH.
VOL. 1.
Change of Schedule.
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GENERAL SUPT'S OFFICE, ]
Atlantic and Gulf Railroad Cos., >
+* Savannah, May 1, 1875. J
ON AND AFTER SUNDAY, MAY 2*
trains on this road will run as follows:
WIGHT EXPRESS —(DAILY).
Leave Savannah at 4:00 p m
Arvive at Jesup 7: i 0 p m
Bainbridge • 7:45 A if
Albany 9:20 a m
Lire Oak 2:55 A x
Jacksonville 9:10 a m
Leave Jacksonville 4:00 p m
Live Oak 10:05 p m
Albany 4:14 p m
Bainbridge 5:15 r u
Jesup 5:25 a m
Arrive at Savannah .8:50 a m
Connect at Live Oak with train arriving at
Tallehassee at 0.15 r m, and leaving Tallehus
•eeat 10.30 a m.
Sleeping car runs through to Jacksonville.
Passengers for Brunswick take this train ar
riving at Brunswick (Sundays excepted) at
10.30 P. m. Leave Brunswick (Sundays ex
cepted) at 2.00 a. m. Arrive at Savannah
{Sundays excepted) at 8.50 a. w.
Passengers from Macon by M. A B. 8.15 a.
m. train connect at Jesup with train for Flori
da (Sundays excepted.)
Passengers from Florrida by this train con
nect at Jesup with train arriving in Macon at
4.40 p. w. (Sundays excepted.)
DAY PASSENGER —[SUNDAYS EXCEPTED]
Leave Savannah 8.00 a u
Arrive at Jesup 10.38 a *
JVbenuville 12.42 p m
Live Oak 4.25 p m
Jacksonville 9.15 p m
Leave Jacksonville 7.40 a u
Live Oak 12,25 p u
Tebcauville 4.10 p u
Jesup 0.35 p if
Arrive at Savannah 9.15 p u
ACCOMMODATION TRAIN —WESTERN DIVISION,
•Leave Dupont [Sundays excepted]...7 05 a m
Arrive at Valdosta 9 00 a m
Quitman 10 15 am
Thomesvillo 2 35 r m
Albany 7 50 p u
Lear* Albany 7 50 a u
Thoniasville 1 45 p m
Quitman 3 48 p m
Valdosta 5 10 p m
Arrive at Dupont 7 10 r m
Connect at Albany wiih Night Tram on the
Southwestern Railroad. Leaving Albany Sun
day, Tuesday and Thursday, and arriving at
Albany Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Mail Steamer leaves Bainbridge for Apa
lachicola every Sunday evening.
Accommodation Train with Passenger Car
attached will leave Savannah Monday, Wed
nesday and Friday at 6 am, running to Du
pont, and arrive at Savannah Tuesday, Thurs
day and Saturday, at 5 15 pm.
H. S. HAINES,
General Superintendent.
MACON A BRUNSWICK R. R. CO., )
Sr PKRINTKNhunt's OKFI(Y, r
Macon, Ga., , 1 875. )
DOWN DAY PASSPV'TLR AND EXPRESS.
l.oave Macon 8:15 a m
Arrive at Jesup 0:25 p m
Leave Jesup 7:45 p m
Arrive at Brunswick 10:30 p m
rp DAY PASSENGER AND EXPRESS.
Leave Brunswick 2:00 a m
Arrive at. Jesup 4:45 A m
Leave Jesup 6:00 a m
Arrive at. Macon 4:40 p m
PA WKINSVII.LB ACCOMMODATION.
Leave Macon 3:15 P m
Arrive at Havvkinsville 7:00 p m
Leave llawkinsville 6:45 a m
Arrive at Macon 10:45 a m
The d<wu day passenger train makes close
connection at Jesup with trains of Atlantic
and Gulf Railroad for all points in Florida,
and Savannah. Up day passenger train con
nects at Jofiup for Savannah,and at Macon for
points North, East, and West.
Through sleeping cars daily-Nc thange be
tween Louisville and Jacksonville, Fla.
JOHN A. GRANT,
W. ,T. Jarvis Mast. Trans. Gen. Supt.
B. & A. RAILROAD CO
CHANGE OF SCHEDULE.
SUPERINTENDENT’S OFFICE, )
Brunswick, Ga., Nov. 23, 1874. f
ON and after December Ist, 1874, passenger
trains on this road will run as follows :
Mondays. Wednesdays and Fridays from
Brunswick to Albany.
Tuesdays, Thursday? and Saturdays from
Albany to Brunswick.
PASSENGER TRAINS FROM BRUNSWICK.
Leave Brunswick 8 40 a m
Flaalehurst 9 33 44
Jamaica 9 49 44
Waynesville 10 17 44
Gatilla 10 49 44
Randolph 12 00 p u
Arrive | Junction, AA G Railroad..l2 40 44
Leave j Pinner House 1 10 44
Warepboro 1 45 44
Millwood 2 39 44
Pearson 3 34 44
Kirkland 3 50 44
Willacoochee 4 22 44
Alapaha 5 06 44
Brookfield 542 u
Riverside fl 30 4#
Ty Tv 7 Ofi 14
Isabella 7 42 4 *
Davis 8 22 * 4
Arrive at Junction S G A F HR, Al
bany 8 52 44
Connects with A a G Passenger Train go
irg Westward and Southward, leaving Te
beauville at 1 02 p.m.. for Stations on the A a
G Railroad, and for Thomasville, Bainbridge,
Live Oak, Femandina, Tallehassee, Quincy.
PASSENGER TRAIN FROM ALBANV.
L**ave Junction S O t F R R 8 26 a m
Davis 9 02 44
Isabella 940 44
Ty Ty 10 11 44
Riverside 10 53 44
Brookfield 11 29 44
Alapaha... 12 06 44
Willaeoocbee 12 46 44
Kirkland 1 15 p v
Arrive Pearson (Dinner House) 129 14
Leave Pearson 1 59 44
Millwood 2 33 44
Waresboro 3 17 44
Arrive June. A t G RR, Tebeaurille.3 45 44
Leave Junction 4 15 44
Randolph 4 55 44 ,
Satilla 6 07 44
Waynesville 6 39 44
Jamaica 7 09 44
nz!eburt 7 22 44
Arrive Brunswick 8 15 * 4
Connects at Tebeauville with Passenger
Train for Savannah, whichl&T&at 4.10 p m,
arriving in Savannah at 9 45 p m.
UHAS .L. SCHLATTER,
Genera? Superintendent.
JESSIE’S KEPENTANCE.
BY MBS. BOSA B. DICISBSOS.
‘So you've come again, Charley! ’
Jessie Roberts turned herself round from
the piano at which she was sitting, and
greeted her visitor without arising.
•Yes, like the simpleton I aui,’ was the
half-scornful reply; ‘but I could not help
it. My heart brings rue, rather than niy
•judgment ’
‘No apologies are necessary,’ she said
with a smile and shy glance into his hand
some, brown eyes, ‘for I was expecting
you. Shall I sing to you ? ’ she continued;
‘or have you come expressly for another
chat? ’
‘Expressly for another chat.’ He re
peated her light words sarcastically, but
added in a softer strain, ‘I have come upon
business, Jessie, so it' you can subdue your
high spirits sufficieutty to listen I shall
not detain you loßg.’
‘Business,’ she repeated. ‘Ah, that
sounds refreshing. What can it be ? Shall
I hem another set of handkerchiefs for
you, or paiut your picture, or embroider
another smoking-cap, or write a sonnet to
your moustache ? Which is it, Charley ?
You know the versatility of my talents, so
you needn't be afraid to urge your deniauds
upon them.'
Charley Anderson listened until she had
finished—not patiently or even lutentiy
but he did not interrupt her by word or
look. He was a handsome man with bruwu
eyes and hair and brown, curiitig whiskers,
which set off his glowing complexion ad
mirably. Jessie thought so, too, as he sat
at her side looking straight into the fire,
not moodily, nor sullenly as any other man
would have done under the circnmstauces,
but sorrowfully. Jessie was a beauty, and
alas! something of a coquette, and Char
ley heartily endorsed the former, and tried
with all his might to disbelieve tho latter.
‘No,’ he said after awhile in answer to
her queries, .‘that is not the nature of my
business with you, Jessie, It is business
of more importance than that. You know
how long I have loved you, Jessie, and ’
‘Certainly I do, Charley. Ever since 1
was a little girl in pinafores, I believe you
said. You've told me a thousand times at
least, but even such important items as
that will sometimes slip the mind.'
She glanced at tiim archly, but ho did
not smile iu retire fl tt-vil'-s nu haul
to be patient, for he had loved her so long
and so well.
‘Yes, ever since you were a little girl,’ he
continued gravely, ‘I have been your lover.
Until four months ago I was uncertain
whether that attachment was reciprocated
or not, but at that time you confessed that
it was, and consented to an engagement ol
marriage between us. Siuee then that en
gagement has been canceled at your 16-
quest a number of times, but each time
has been renewed at my earnest solicita
tion. Yesterday again it was dis olved,
and, to-night, as you see, lain back again.
I have come, not to kneel to you nor sue
as I hnve in times past, but to talk calm y
with you, and accept your answ r as posi
tive and final. This c rifling renders me
unfit for anything. I cannot concentrate
my thoughts sufficiently to attend to my
business, and, in addition, your promises
are too uncertain to admit of any hopes
being built upon. This night our engage
ment must be renewed never to be can
celed, or hereafter we must walk apart. It
remains with you to determine our future.’
Jessie did not reply. The roses in her
oheeks paled a little, and her white hands
elapsed each other more firmly, but she
did not look into tho brown eyes bent so
steadily upon her.
Charley drew his watch from his pocket
and continued : ‘lt is now eight o’clock
The St. Louis train leaves here at 8:40, and
I have made my arrangements to leave up
on it. . It rests with you whether Igo or
stay. If Igo 1 shall never trust myself to
look upon your face again until you aie
the wife of another man. If I stay, our
engagement must be renewed, and our
marriage eonsumated within a month. You
have twenty minutes in which to decide.'
He leaned over and clasped her hand—
the hand upon which liis betrothal ring
gleamed and sparkled like a star.
‘Decide, Jessie, for time is precious to
me now, and remember, darling, for
what reply my heart is yearning.’
She drew her hand from his—the rul
ing passion was not to be quelled so
easily—and looking saucily into his dark,
sad, eager eyes, said with a light laugh :
‘ Well, Charley, while I am deciding i
you can look over this new music that Mr.
Zane sent me to day. It is beautiful, and
so’—
‘But time is precioos, Jessie,’ he remon- 1
strated, ‘and yon are not thinking of the
case I presented awhile ago. ’
‘Oh yes I am Charley,’ she replied, do- 1
mnrely , any woman can think of two
things at once and not half try.’
He could repress a smile, though Lis :
heart was aching.
1 You have yet ten minutes, .Jessie,’ he
said, again consulting his watch.
She seated herself demurely at his side.
‘What is it I’ra to think about, Char
ley?’ she asked gravely, ‘ Ob, yes,’ she
continued, ‘I recollect now. You said
something about going West, didn’t you?
Or did I misunderstand you'"’
JESUP, GEORGIA, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2, 18T5.
•Youunderstood correctly.?
He tried to be stern and dignified, but
her waywardness had its effect.
She bent her eyes upon the carpet, rest
ed her glowing cheek in her pretty white
hand, and remained apparently lost in
thought But the spirit of mischief dauc
ed like a sprite in her blue eyes.
Charley again consulted his watch, clos
ed it with an energetic snap, and gave a
start which Jessie saw but iguored. He
rose to his feet, and running his hand ner
vously through his brown beard, exclaim
ed in a voice whose emotion be could not
conceal :
‘What have you to say to mo, Jessie?
Shall I go or stay ? ’
She rose also, looked straight into hip
eyes and replied with superb nonchalance:
‘After due deliberation, Charley, I have
decided the momentous question for you.
If I were you, 1 would go West. But re
member, if the Indians catch you, you
must give them my address, so that if they
sea!)) j-ou they can send me a lock of youf
hair.’
He turned from her with a reproachful
glance and left the room without a word.
Ho paused in the hall to draw on his over
coat and gloves, but she did not call him
back. She arranged her musijsi
closed piano, and went singing softly qp
to her chamber. Before disrobing, slje
drew from her bosom a locket containing
his picture, and, gazing into the dark eyes
raised so tenderly to meet her own, she ex
claimed in a voice whose every accent ws
love :
T shall not be so bard on you again,
Charley dear. I’ll capitulate tho very next
time you ask me.’
•Where is father?’ asked Jessie as she
and her mother sat at the breakfast table
the next morning. • There was a tevribfo
accident on the St. Louis road last night,’
was the reply, ‘and your father and several
other physicians were telegraphed for.’
‘An accident! ’ exclaimed Jessie in an
guish, the remembrance of her uukindneas
to Charley flashing like lightning upon
her mind. ‘When? where? how did it
happen ?’
‘The messenger was so excited that I
could gather no particulars. There was
a collision, however, and many of the pas
sengers were killed and wounded.’
‘Oh, mother,’ sobbed Jessie, ‘Cbsr.ay
Anderson was on that train. I drove , ’-a
away by my folly and wickedness. -ijk-,
how X loved him, mother ; ami übw Ur ho
should bo dead or wounded, I can never,
never he happy again.’
■Perhaps he is among the snved,’ said
Mrs. Roberts, consolingly. *We will at
least hope so until we hear to the contrary.
Your father is coming now ; perhaps he
can tell us something of Charley.’
‘Oh, father?’ exclaimed Jessie, the tears
streaming from her eyes as she met him at
the door, ‘ can you tell me anything of
Churl y ? ’
‘Why bless my soul! ’ exclaimed tho old
doctor, ‘l’ve nothing to do with Charley.’
‘But, father, he was on the train that was
wrecked,’ she exclaimed in explanation.
‘Have you seen or heard of him ? ’
•Well, well, my little girl, that alters the
case. But, Jessie,’ and he gathered her to
his heart as if she was a child ‘if < barley
was aboard that ill-fated train he is buried
among the debris. lam going back in a
few hours and will make enquires for him.’
A few hours! What a lifetime of misery
could be compressed into a few hours Jes
sie thought, as her aimless feet wandered
into the cold, darkened parlor whence hut
last nig it he whom she now mourned had
gone forth so strong and yet so helpless,
so brave and yet snch a coward
•Oh, mother,’ she exclaimed, as a soft
step entered the room and sought her
side, ‘if Charley would but come back to
me alive and well, I would marry him to
morrow--to-day if he would but ask me
agnin.’
‘A pair of strong arms encircled her—a
brown beard rested against her cheek.
‘I am here, my darling,’ a well-known
voice exclaimed, ‘and I shall bold yon to
your words.’
Jessie rallied in a moment.
‘But yon were not on the train,’ she ex
claimed.
‘No,’ he answered gravely, ‘I was not. A
kind providence was watching over me and
keeping me from harm. I reached the de
pot but a moment too late. As soon as I
heard of the accident i came here expect
ing to find you in ‘sackcloth and ashes,’
and lo! I am not disappointed. ’ He looked
saucily into her eyes. ‘Bnt, stay, I will
dispatch your father for the license and
the minister, and will summon the neces
sary witnesses and we will be married
immediately. I'm afraid to trust you again,
Jessie, and you know you said you would
marry me to-day if I would ask you.’
‘But you have not asked me yet, that I
remember.'
‘I will, however.’ He put his hand be
neath her chin and raised her face to his.
‘Jessie, will you be be my wife? ’
‘Of course I will,' she answered. ‘l've
intended to all the time ’
‘And I shall claim the privilege of nam
ing the day,’ he replied, ‘or force you to
surrender now.'
So he allowed her bnt a month in which to
gather together all of those wonderful
things which constitute a trou—eau, but
Jessie declares yet that he took the ad
vantage of her by frightening her into a
capitulation.
The Issue of Fractional Currency.
The announcement that Secretary
fristow has stopped the issue of tcn-cent
fractional currency Is without founda
tion. Since last March there has been
ho issue of fifty-cent. fractional curren
cy, the object being to rid the market
(of the counterfeits of that denomination.
As tar as possible the twenty-five, fif
teen and tcn-cent notes have been fur
nished. but the extent io which lialf
! dollar notes are circulated exceeds that
iof the other three issues, being over
| one-lialf of the entire amount of frac
tional currency in circulation. When
the redemption of the paper begins, or
as the hnrd.money man of the treasury,
Dr. Lluderman, director of the mints,
expresses it, when they are ready to
cremate the fractional currency, Hie
plan will undoubtedly be to withdraw
all the notes under fifty cents and re
place them with subsidary coin. Mr
Linderman, who lias traveled exten
sively in Hie West, says that the demand
for silver coin is very great. Not so
much for its intiitisic value, but on ac
count of its serviceableness, the frac
tional currency in circulation in the
West being literally shreds an 1 rags.
Those living near large cities where
new note can be readily obtained can
not appreciate the want of something
belter than paper currency. The gov
ernment, however, lias made nearly
two millions by the loss and destruc
tion of fractional notes since the first
issue was made.—Baltimore Sun.
A Little Girl’s Reproof.
An army officer, on returning home
from camp-life, went to visit a relative,
and, like some who imitate their asso
ciates, lie indulged in profane language.
A little girl walked out with him to his
horse, and as he was talking to her In
great glee, she gently said, —
“I don't like to hear my cousin
swear.”
He replied, “I know, my dear, it is
wrong."
In tlie same mild tone she rejoined,
“Well, then, if you know it is wrong,
why do you do it? ”
The captain confessed to a friend,
ou relating the story. Hint, lie never felt
a reproof so much as the one given by
that little ciiitii. He had good reason
to feel it, for lie deserved It. The old
1 verse says:
‘‘Maintain your rank, vulgarity dbpiae;
To swear in neither brave, polite nor wise.”
Recovery for Lightning-stroke.
In his valuable work on “The Main
tenance of Health,” I)r. Fotliergill has
the following on resuscitation after
lightning stroke : ‘Persons struck by
lightning are not always dead when
they appear to be so There are few
recoveries from this state, because no
means are tried to restore the sufferer.
In the tropics there are many instances
of persons, struck down by lightning,
recovering after a heavy thunder-show
er; and It would appear that cold affu
sion to the body has a decided action
in such eases. The injured can not be
hnrmed by the free use of cold water,
and if only an occasional recovery took
place it would be well worth the pains
bestowed. The persons so injured
should have cold water poured or even
dashed freely over them.”
Suicide of a Lady on a Railroad
Track.
A lady, between twenty-five and thir
ty years of age, arrived In Lebanon,
Pa, Monday evening, and registered at
the Lebanon V illey House, at the de
pot, as Miss Lula Greene, of Philadel
phia. At noon yesterday she started
to walk down the Lebanon Valley Rail
road. When about two miles from
town she met a freight train. She
wrapped her shawl around her and de
liberately threw herself on the track.
Her head was severed from the body.
The intelligent jury has at last at
traded the attention of the magazines.
Scribner’s says: “The simple truth is.
that the jury system is outlived and
might to be outlawed, it, does not help
tlie cause of law and justice, end ought
to be kicked out of Hie way. It is op
pressive to tlie juror, it is anomalous
in our system of government, it makes
the uncertainty of law still more tin- !
certain. It is expensive, and It is utterly
unnecessary. There Is nothing sacred
about it. To be tried by a man's peerg
it not half so good a thing us to be
tried by a man's intellectual and moral
superiors. ’’
- ♦ -y * ■■■———- -
The ignorance of foreigners Is some
thing superb. Dumas lias written an
American novel, in which a coon chases j
a couple of young United States lovers ;
up a tree, and then tries to get them by !
gnawing through the trunk. Dumas says ,
the Virginia coon is as large as a year- i
ling calf.
‘Sekretz,’ say* Josh Billings, 'is a bad
investment—if you pass it you loze the
principal; and If you keep it, yon loze
the interest.'
New York’s New Horse Disease.
A phenomenon In the disease of horses
made its appearance iu this city on
Wednesday last It is not the epizoot,
although like it In many respects re
spects. It is of milder form, and tem
porary in its attacks. The symtoms arc
of a mild cough, accompanied at times
by inflamation of the tliroat, frequent
sneezing, and occasionally a discharge
at the nose. With few exceptions its
victims all eat well and work without
interruption. Every car and stage line
has felt its influence, and it is safe to
say that not one hundred horses in tlie
city have escaped. The race horses at
Boston and elsewhere arc suffering
from it, and the Messrs. Johnson Broth
ers, proprietors of Fleetwood Park,
have withdrawn their purses on ac
count of it. All the stock at their park
have been attacked by it. Fifteen hun
dred out of two thousand horses hi the
Thiid avenue stables were coughing
aud sneezing on Friday last, Ten thou
sand horses among the stage and car
lines alone are sufftring front it. On
Saturday last tlie truck horses iu Hobo
ken were unable to work on account of
it. Superintendent Bidgood, of the
Sixth avenue line of cars, Rays: “It
came like a Hash of lightning, striking
every ho v se in the city, and as quickly
passed away, leaving its effects behind
it.’’ All seem to think it is short lived,
the horses having improved since Sat
urday.— [N. Y. Sun, Hist.
The Two Men and the Boar.
Two men hail to go through a wood.
One of them was short and stout, ami one
was tall and slim.
“I could not run fust orclimb well" said
the stout one; “if a foe, man or boast, came
on me I should hnve to stand my ground.’’
„Hnvc no fear," said the slim man. “I
can run fast and climb well, but still it is
my rulo to stand my ground—l would
fight for you to the last. I fear no mnu or
beast, not I. Hark, what is that noise. ?’>
"I am sure," said the short man, ‘‘that
it is tlie growl of a bear ; I know ttiero are
boar in those woods.”
The bear was soon in sight. The tall
man ran a short distance and bid in a tree.
The short man fell fiat on his fare on tlie
ground and held his breath. The bear
came to him, smelt him and thought he
was dead. Bo lie left him, nnd with a
gruff growl or two went on his way.
When tlie bear was out of sight the short
man arose from tho ground, and the tall
manes mo down from the tree.
“Wbat did tho benst say to you, my
friend ?" said tho tall man to the short
one. ‘‘l saw him put his mouth close to
your ear.”
“He told me," said the short man, “to
pnt no trust in one who brags in the way
you do, for those who boast so much arc
not brave.”
The Test of Love.
ne was such a nice looking young
man, and, it being Sunday evening,
too, the waiter girls at the hotel decided
among themselves that he would not
touch the dish of raw onions placed at
Ids left hand. He did hesitate, but only
for a moment. Piece after piece was
lifted to his mouth and disposed of, and
as he lifted the last one, shook the vin
egar off, earefuliy wrapped it iri his silk
haukerctilef, they heard him solllo
quize:
“I believe that Gertrude loves me.
She acts as If she dhl, and actions speak
louder than words. To-night I shall
test her love. Jl lam the cherished of
her heart she sill not refuse to taste ol
this oc. lon, so that my breath shall not
be perceivable. If she is cold and fickle
I will rush from her fatther's mansion
and never love again!”
-—mrnrnmm •• y -am-
Mr. George Hillard, of Boston, gives us
words of gold in the following extract: *'l
confess," says he, “that increasing years
brings with them an increasing respect
for men who do not succeed in life, as ;
those words nro commonly used. Heaven !
has been said to be a place for those who
do not succeed upon earth , and it is
surely true that celestial graces do not
best thrive and bloom in the blaze ot
worldly prosperity. 11l success sometimes
arises from a superabundance of qualities
in themselves good—from a conscience
too sensitive, a taste too fastidious, a self
forgetfulness too romantic, a modesty too
retiring. I do not go so far as to say
with a living poet that ths world knows
nothing of its greatest men, buttherc are
forms of greatness, or at least of excel
lence, which ‘ die snd make no sign ;’
there are martyrs that miss the palm but
Dot the stake ; heroes without the lau
ral, and ronquerers without the crown.”
A Detroiter was called as a witness '
in a ease before one of the Justices yes
terday. and when the oatli was admin- ,
istered he raised botli hands and said : j
I shall spoke nodding* what ain’t drew
if I never hope to die so quick as a min- '
ute!” He was So earnest and solemn
that the lawyers iet him alone.—[De
troit Free Pres*.
POETRY.
LIBERTY OF THE PRESS.
Around her waist I pot my arms—
It felt a> aoft as cake ;
Oh dear, says he, what liberty
You printers always take!
Why yes, my “Zeb," my charming gal,
(I squecred her some, I guess),
Can you say aught, ray love, against
The freedom of the press?
I kissed her some—l did by gum—
She colored like a beet;
Upon my living soul she looked
Almost good enough to cat I
I gavo another buss, and then
Says she, I do confess
I rather kinder sorter tike
The freedom of the Press!
OUR SCISSORISMS COLUMN.
Wise and Otherwise
Deods are fruits, words aro but
leaves.
Virtue is bcaaty, and vice deformity
of Hie soul.
Magnilicont promises are always to
lie suspected.
An acre of performance is worth •
wot id of promise.
A girl's first season she is all Faith,
tlie second all Hope, tlie third all Char
ity. After that the Deluge.
It is a wise provision of uaturc that
men without brains never feel the need
of them.
The hardest tiling in the world is to
make n devotee out of a man who thin ks
himself a philosopher.
An Ohio hoy swallowed four or five
ot the wheels of an eight-day clock,
nnd lie has kept the whole family ‘run
ning’ ever since tlie event.
A Kentucky editor tells another that
if Ills head were ns red as Ins nose hw
would remind one of a bow-legged oar .
rot surmounted by a cockade.
\Ye do not insist that lie was drunk
but wo never would have suspected
him of trying for an hour to soak the
stamp off a postal card to put it on an
envelope, as lie did yesterday mornlnir.
Near Camden, Arkansas, there Is o
colored labor organization which lash
es any of its members who dare to pick
cotton for less than “a dollar a hundred
and board.”
Cicero said: “Tho pursuit-, of all
things should bo calm nnd tranquil."
ft Is plain that lie never savr a ftsatler
county girl searching for a flea wtHh
her right paw, which Is mightier-thun a
Bogardus kicker run by a Keel*/, om
tor.
A Massachusetts man is carrying fa*
vor with Hie fair sex by s tract in which
he seeks to show tiiat there are two
heavens, one for men and one for wo
men. The latter are to pass into their
heaven without discrimination, but tlie
men arc to he sifted before admission.
A Wyoming jury, composed-ot seven
men and five woman, were shut up for
two duys and nights and yet tliny could
not agree. It is said that if they had re.
mained out for seventeen years there
would have been no verdict, as tho five
women talked the seven men deaf the
first six hours.—Brooklyn Argus.
A cockney tourist met a Scotch lassie
going barefoot toward Glasgow. “Las
sie,’’ said lie, “I should like to know if
all tlie people in these parts go bare
foot?” “Part of ’em do, and the rear of
'em mind their own business,” was the
rather settling reply.
“Jessie, wiiat was Toe’s arm doing
round your waist when you were at tho
front gate last night?” asked a preco
cious boy of his sister. “HU arm
wasn't round my waist; I won a belt
from him, and he was taking my meas
ure,” replied the indignant young lady.
A youngster being required to write
a composition upon some portion of the
human body selected that which unites
the head to the body, and expounded a*
follows: “A tliroat is convenient to
have, especially to roosters and minis
ters. Tlie former eats corn aud crow*
with it; the latter preaches through
his’n, and then ties it up. This is pret
ty much all 1 can think of about necks."
Yesterday morning a long-haired
thickly bearded stranger entered a
Griswold street barber shop, and In r®,
sponse to tlie inquiry if he would like
to be shaved he replied: “Yes, sir, you
miserable, contemptible, skulking high
way pirate, I would.” He removed hie
hat, drew a navy revolver, cooked it,
and sitting down in a chair witli the
revolver in his hand, he continued:
“Now, go ahead? It you ask me to
have my hair cut, or say that I have
dandruff, or cut my chin, or ask me to
buy your hair restorer. I’ll shoot yo
dead In your trackst” That barber
didn't say one word while shaving that
man.—[Detroit Free preee-
NO. 11.