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HUMORING AN ASPIRATION
'‘Crimson Gulch manages to be a
pretty orderly community,” said the
1 traveling salesman.
“We’ve got a new system,’’ an
swered Cactus Joe. “When we see a
young feller with racketeer symptoms
I we buy him a ticket to Chicago find
I tell him to write his old friends
I about how he made good in the big
: town.”
Absent Treatment
“Where did you learn your trade?”
asked Will Rogers while undergoing
: torture in a barber's chair.
“I learned my trade at a well
known correspondence school," an
swered the barber.
“Well. I'm not complaining,’’
drawled Will, "but I want it clearly
understood that hereafter you’ll shave
f me by correspondence.” — Boston
< Transcript.
Appreciative
Rich Lumberman (at the opera) —
By jinks, Mame, that's music, such
as I calls music.
City Niece—l hardly thought you
would appreciate it. uncle.
Lumberman—Why, by jinks, Mame,
It sounds jest like my three sawmills
on Beaver creek all runnin’ at once.
| —Brooklyn Eagle.
A Setback
“All your lingers bound 1p! What
have you done?”
“I bought my wife a potato peefc,
and when she said she couldn't M^se
it work I had to show her how Sim
ple it was.”—Munich Fliegende Blat
ter.
CONSOLATION
' b $
J
|i va
“What are you crying about?”
“My husband is suing me for a di
vorce."
“Don’t cry—you eaa get married
again.”
Good Reason!
Motorist—l had the right-of-way
when this man ran into me, yet you
■ say I was to blame.
Local Policeman — Ton certainly
were.
“Why?”
"Because his father Is mayor, his
brother Is chief constable, and I’m
engaged to his sister." — Toronto
Globe.
Two of a Kind
First Convict What are you In
for?
Second Ditto—Breaking Into the
i office of the Wise Investment com
pany. And you?
First Convict—l was the chair
man of the company.—Philadelphia
Public Ledger.
Didn’t Know the Half
“Carlyle made a strong book about
‘Heroes and Hero Worship.’”
“And he knew nothing about
movie heroes."—Louisville Courier-
Journal.
C. O. D.
Grocer —I brought over the gro
ceries, sir.
Jones —How much do I owe youT
Grocer—Not a cent If you don’t
pay cash I’ll take them back again.
