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housekeeper.
How blest is the farmer’s simple life !
How pure the joy it yields !
Far from the world’s tempestuous strife,
Free ’mid the scented fields.— Ecciitl.
Flowers.
“Aunt Charity, discourses as follows in the
Tennessee Slate Agriculturist, in relation to the
cultivation of flowers:
Young ladies cultivate flowers ! you will find
your interest will he so great in them, that you
will bo up with the lark, to see what progress
your buds have made through the night; the
morning air will brace and invigorate you ; you
will find intruders in the shapo of sprigs of grass;
which your bump of order will not tolerate ; pul
ling them out will he good exercise ; air and ex
ercise will promote, health and cheerfulness; :
your cheeks will rival your rose from nature’s’
own pure hue.
Mothers, cultivate flowers, that your children j
may emulate your good example that home may he
the sweetest spot to them; our first mother was
placed in a garden as the most appropriate place
for one who was to he the partner of him who was
formed after the image of his Maker ; that her
first lessons might he taught from nature’s most
beautiful leaves of instruction. If we feel troubled
and careworn, for troubles will come, does not a
walk among the flowers calm and soothe us by
leading our thoughts to more pleasing things, to
the m&nilold kindness of our heavenly Father in
Modeling the earth With so many jewels! Out im
aginations can scarce keep pare with the varie
ties of color and texture, ali his linndy work. Are
we not taught this is not our abiding place, hy
the flowers ? in autumn they Aide, wither and
die ; in spring they hud forth with renewed splen
dor and beauty, blossom and send forth their
richest perfume as incense meet lor the Creator
of all good; shall we be more ungrateful than
the simple violet, and not semi the incense of our
prafse fur all his mercies?
He gave flowers as ministers of his love to us,
we use them ns emblems of love and esteem to
our fellow creatures; who would reduce all things
to mere utility ? Our Creator has set us a
better example ; flowers are of the earth, her
children, and she nurtures them with her tears ;
do they not richly repay her kindness? Are we
hot told that Solomon in all his glory, was not
clad like one of the simple Millies of (he field;’
they are associated with all that is beautiful, ele
gant lovely ; they deck the bride, the May
Queen, and the solemnities of the burial ; they
are associated with our earliest and most pleas
ant recollection of home. Who does not remem
ber some favorite flower of ‘my mother’s ?’ What
woman does not remember how often she has
been led from nature •up to imtnru’s God,’ by
the simple structure of a flower, and what wo
man of refinement, sensibility, and affection, but
loves flowers ? indeed, they bear a close resemb.
lance to her lot, and
“No marvel woman should love flowers; they bear
Ho much fanciful similitude
To her own history ; like herself repaying
With such Rweet interest all the cherishing
That call their beauty or their sweetness forth,
Ami like her, too, dying beneath neglect.”
Transplanting Evergreens, —lt seems not
very material whether evergreen trees are trans
planted in April, May, or June. They may he
made to live in either of these months when they
arc properly taken up and set; and as it is all.
important to take up a sod with the tree, it tnav
be as well to transplant this kind early in the
season tie?t)re ploughing commences.
It is not necessary to take up a long root with
a fir, a hemlock or a pine; but it is absolutely
necessary to take up a sod with the roots ; and
sods will adhere to them better at this season of
the year, than when the earth is more dry.
not much risk in taking firs flWhv
£*•* f'-ijJr the multitude of fibrous rvAs
direction hold enough
lint pint
. jfjyajt f ’ A ■
H
tender, ami
ph/lca up j and set, as we set
apple trees, the bark comes ofif and not one tree.,
in fifty survives. Long roots a. o not needed,
and the trees tnay be taken up by cutting around
nt a distance of twelve inches from the trunk,
when that is not more than live feet ip, height.
These trees and clumps of earth may be set
whon the earth is wet, for there is not the same
need of spreading out the roots and keeping them
separate, as there is when trees are taken up
without earth. Yet it is important in all cases to
keep the earth loose and light, and free from
weeds arbiind them.
Remedy for Constipated Cows.— A writer
in the Massachusetts Plowman gives the follow
ing remedy for constipated cows after calving :
For tho benefit of those in the business, but inex
perienced as I was a few years ago, I would like
to insort a medicine for a complaint of which I
lost my best cow, the first year alter commencing
for myself, and have since had others troubled
in tho same way, that is, being bound up after
calving, the bowels swell, they stop eating, and
look dull, unless a quick physic is administered
they die. I have fo.:nd one which 1 consider in
valuable, vie: one half pint of molasses, a piece
of lard the size of a hen’s egg melted together
to which add a cupful of ground mustard.
Perpetual Roses. —Many cultivators of this
fine new class of rosea ‘waste Its sweeTO<fM*'By
allowing it to carry ail its blossoms in the month
of June. Now, to have the perpetual roso fully
enjoyed, it should not be allowed to bloom at all
in the rose season. Roses are so common then
that it is not at all prized ; while blooming from
midsummer to November, it is highly prized by
persons-
The way I pursue to grow h to perfection, is
te pinch out, as soon as visible, erery blossom
ing bud that appears at the first crop, say from tho
middle of May to the middle of June. This re.
serves all the strength of the plant for the after
bloom ; and accordingly I have such clusters of
roses in July, August, September and October,
as those who have not tried this stopping system
can have no idea of. La Reine, Madame Laffay,
Compe de Paris, and the Duchess of Sutherland
are particuly superb varieties under this treat,
ment. Indeed, they tnay be’ ‘recommended as
among the ‘best of the perpetuals.
1 have adopted with excellent results, Mr.
Rice’s recommendation of giving the roots ol!
well established roses a good soaking in guano,
after they have shed their leaves, say middle of
October. It greatly promotes their luxuriant!
growth the next season— Horticulturist.
Griddle Cakes of Unbolted Wheat.— A
*}uart us unbolted wheat and ateaspoonfiil of salt;
wet it up with wa**r, or sweet milk, in which is
r.iseol’. H t:-asjtm*fl'i|| f >i‘'ar;:-'ti* ; add thr. e
fpeon-fii! a* 4 , mda-s H me tnisc ltd- witi,
yeast, and h-av-'otT the s:hr;r u-. H <tr r.xtlk
•i"d gain rad --r- <• -• # ... ] j\, |
f- Sue it ;:>•.
i From the Missiisippme.
Improving the Soil.
Messrs. Editors. —lmproving land hy the
aid of manure is tedious and costly. But every
farmer should, by all means, make it part of his
yearly business ; and though he do but little, yet
that little is a gain. Manures have been used for
centuries, and the certain gain is placed beyond
question. Ten four horse loads to a hand has been
hauled out hy one of the citizens ofthis county, and
Iml for the press of plowing, as many more are
ready. Admit these ten loads only aid ten acres,
yet the aid is for three yen rs nt least, thus increas
ing the yield and preventing depreciation. And
yet over 1,000 bushels of cotton seed, which will
keep up in present fertility ten acres more—aye,
ami increase the crops. Besides these, the im
mense quantity of stubble and pea-vine plowed
in, will enhance some six or eight acres more
per hand. History tells us, that so tar hack as
tho time of Xenophon, about 400 years before
Christ,farmers were in the habit ofburning stub
ble on the laud, using manures and relying upon
frequent plowing. Plowing had been done in
those very early limes as often as nine times be
fore seeding. A farmer in the Connecticut val
ley gave his experience a few years since, in
the plowing fur oats or rye, [I forget which] —he
plowed a ten acre lot, bowed one fn i ats ; then
the nine acres, sowing another;’ and so on
through, and he declared there was difference
between each acre, and all in favor of repeated
plowing.". One ofthe largest producers in Ilinds
was in the habit, so 1 was informed by the plant
er al liis own house, of plowing corn and cotton
land, and in muring the hills. He did not
know Xenophon or the Connecticut farmer from
n pilo of shavings, yet he averred that his suc
cess was in repeated plowing".
But repeated plowing* will not alone do the
greatest good ; depth and quality must lie con
sidered. ‘Let him attend to hi* employment und
trace the furrows carefully in straight lines, not
looking around him, having his mind intent upon
what he is doing,’ says an ancient writer. And
for the very obvious reason which few think of—
judging from the road side—good plowing can
not he done unless the rows arc straight or reg
ularly curved. There are those who object to
deep plowing, that hy bringing the clay to the
surlace and hutying the ti p soil, that the crops
arc injured. Without entering fully into the
matter, as a whole article might he written on
this one subject, I would say, it is better to turn
hut little of the subsoil at every plowing, and
thus gradually deepen the soil, and if the land
be thoroughly drained, no possible harm can re
sult in subsoiling the depth of draining, unless
you have a sandy or gravelly bottom underneath,
into which the plow would let all water pass.
I remember when two-horse plows began to
be used generally in this country, and when Mr.
ruined his land by them and blatned his
ft iend for advising—so said several. This
friend asked him how it was—‘false, false, sir,’
was his reply. 1 have used two-horse plows for
these ten years ; and to show my faith in them,
I have plowed nearly 200 acres since last Octo
ber, and am now using them on tho 24th of
March.
Reasons for operations on a farm should always
be given, hut a body who has much to do, and
hut a short time to write these nights, must ask
to he pardoned, if in his hurry he neglects: If I
wrote for honor or distinction, I should write less
and he inure particular. But l Write for the
countrymen, and not for the faultfinding town
body:
By having a deep soil, ordinary rains pass
hchnv ordinary plowing, thus admitting early
cultivation after ruin. The large quantity of
earth will absorb more moisture, and retain it
too. If kept well pulverised, it tools sooner at
night, and thus creates a greater depositc of dew,
with other reasons, that the reader ought to study
out.
1 have no kind of doubt, that the coxv-pefi find
repeated plowings from the first of October to
the first of April, deep, close plowing, will im
prove land, not now rich, that is in Hinds Coun
ty, with similar soil and subsoil.
I um yours, &c. Caleb.
Restoration of Sight. —The Boston Trav-
Ti'lVrHives some mteresluig~accouiits ofexperi
ments made hy Piofessor Bronson, in removing
imperfections of sight, produced by age or mal
formation. According to the Traveller, old peo
ple have been enabled to lay aside their specta
cles, and people of all ages who suffered from
short sight, have been entirely cured. The
Traveller says that Professor Bronson is the au
thor of these discoveries, and that his practice
consists entirely in manipulation. Prof. Bronson
is welt known in this and other cities, as a lec
turer upon elocution, and has opened an office
in New York, lor medical practice upon the eye,
in which wo wish hitn success.
But while giving credit to Prof. Bronson for
his efforts in doing good, and while admitting
that his method of tieuting the eye is originul
with himself, we do not admit that he was the
Jirst discoverer. The very treatment ascribed
to him for restoring decayed sight, was discover
ed long ago by John Qtiinfcy Adams, and suc
cessfully practiced on himself. This is not the
only case in which scientific men have made the
same discovery, without any communication
with each other.
Dr. Franklin in Philadelphia, and Dr. Ingcn
house in Ht. Petersburg, without any knowledge
of each other, made simultaneous discoveries in
electricity. Therefore we do not wonder at
Prof. Bionsoo’s discovery concerning the eyes
without any hint from Mr. Adams, who hnd long
previously made the same discovery. Mr. Ad
anis did not communicate his discovery to the
world, but mentioned it incidentally, and as of
no great importance, to two or three friends in
the course of his life. We certainly wonder at
him and them for not perceiving its general util
ity. Mr. Adams never wore spectacles, his
sight enduring to the last. Yet those who re.
member him in private conversation, may re
member his habit, while listening, of manipula
ting his eyes with his fingers, by passing them
gently over the surface, from the external to the
interna! angle.
Tho decay of sight that is remedied hy convex
spectacles, is caused by tho gradual absorption
of the humors, or relaxation ot the coats, render
ing the transparent cornea less convex. The
manipulation, or gentle pressure, perhaps by
stimulating the coats, and thereby causing them
to contract, restore! tho original convexity, and
consequently the original perfection of sight. In
rubbing or wiping tho eyes, we naturally pass
the hand or towel over the convex surface, from
thu internal to the external angle. This dimin
ishes the convexity, and thus promote! the decay
of the sight, and should be carefully avoided.—
The pressure, whether in wiping or manipula
ting. should proceed iu eyes originally perfect,
from tho external to the internal angle.
Short sight, remedied by concave glasses, is
can ill Uv oensvexity of ibe oxterim! cor. j
ti'-.i win ijit-r rrnjjenilal i-r caused bvdhcasi- ‘
In tlii -j;./*. nil v-ipftig, rul biny n: •iiiii>ipuiatioi<
sir. ll,ii jiioi t t rl fr..in t| I'lt- tloil O’ tin fitt-Il.nl j
M2o§ © ® (EH g QD iDM® ©DS To
angle, the reverse of the motion necessary in the
case first mentioned. In manipulation, care
must be taken against pressure ton liard, or con
tinued too long, which may develope inflam
mation.
jflfUtaHggUaiwfl.
FOR MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS.
Domestic Training. —Permit us to say. to
those mothers who interest themselves in the
education of their children, he assiduous early
to implant domestic tastes in thaminds of your
daughters. Let your little girl set by your side
wilh her needle. Do not put her from you when
you discharge those employment! which are for
llio comfort of the family. Let her take pnrt
in them as far as her feeble hand is capable.-.
Teach her that this will be her province when
she becomes a woman. Inspire her with a
desire to make all around her comfortable and
happy. Instruct her in the rudiments of that
science whose results are so beautiful. Teach
her that not selfish gratification, but the good
of-a household, the improvement of even the
humblest dependent, is the business of her sex.
When you walk out to call on your friends,
sometimes lake her with you : especially, if you
visit the aged, or go on errands of mercy to the
sick and poor, let her be your companion. Al
low her to sit by the side and
learn those nursing services
to him. Associate her with you. Make her
your friend. Purify and perfect your own ex
ample for her sake. And xvbi'e you mingle
with domestic training, and with the germ of
benevolence a knowledge of the v-’orld of books,
to which it will be a sweet privilege to intro,
ducc her, should you he able to add nut a sin
gle fashionable accomplishment,still he contin
ually thankful in shielding her from the conta
gion of evil example.
A Noble Child. —At ono ofthe anniversa
ries of a Sabbath School in London, two little
girl* presented themselves to receive a prize,
ono of whom had recited one verse more than
the other, both having learned several thousand
verses of Scripture. The gentl man who pre
sided, inquired, -And couldn’t yon have learned
ono verse more, and thus hate kept up with
Martha ?”
‘•les, sir,” the blushing child replied:; “but
I loved Martha, and kept backjti purpose.”
“And was there any one til all the verses
you have learned,’ again inquired the President,
“that taught you this lesson V
“There was, sir,” sho answered, blushing
still moro deeply ; “/ honor prefering one an
other;”
Perfect Happiness. —A laundress, who
was employed in tho family of one of our for
mer Governors, said to him, xvith a sigh :
“Only think, yous excellency, how little mnn
ey would make me happy !”
“How liitle, madam ?” sdyi the Governor.
“Oh ! dear sir, ono hundred dollars would
make me perfectly happy.”
“If that is.all, you shall have it,” and ho im
mediately gave it to her.
She looked at it with joy and thankfulness,
and, before tho Governor was out of hearing,
exclaimed:
“A wish I had said tteo hi
The Rob Roy of the Mississippi.— .ln one
of his speeches in the Senato last’winter, Mr.
Foote, oftho Mississippi, gave hy’ way of il
lustrating his argument, the fol Awing oarra.
five t *
l lt has been barely fiteen year* since I was
called upon to defend a gifted native of New
England, against a charge of which he confess
ed himself guilty; that charge was.murkier.
My client—for such he became— had been guil.
ty accuiding to his own account, as given in an
autobiography dictated hy him, but which I was
accused, at the time, of writing, of eight mur
ders and sixty robberies. Tho testimony
against the prisoner was too conclusive to ho
resisted successftlHy. He had been convicted ;
the sentence of death was about to-he passed
upon him, and he was asked the ordinaryVjues
tion- -wha‘ ho had to say why this dreadful
judgment shtfbld not be pronounced against
him.
‘He arose gracefully frqm his scat on the
prisoner’s bench; he stood erect before the court
and the audience. His countenance was free
from the marks of trepidation, of embarrass
ment, or of conciotts guilt. His mind seemed
tor a moment solemnly to revert to the strange
scenes of romantic and bloody adventures
through which he passed. He turned those
fierce eyes ot his upon the judge who was pres
ently to consign him to the scaffold, and ex
claimed in tones that I can never forget:
‘Sir, you have asked tno a question; and I
intend to answer it. \ou behold before you a
man, cut off from the sympathies of his fellow
beings, who is yet not worthy ot their esteem
and commisscration; who has not slept in a hu
man habitation for full nine years; who has
roamed along the banks ofthe majestic Missis
sippi and lived alone upon the meat, uncooked,
ot tho wild tenants of tins miUoHseM tlm hr
has been aide to make his victims ; who, not
forgetful ofclassic lore, has perused with delight
amidst the gloom of the unfrequented forest, tho
pages of Horace, of Tacitus and of Juvenal ;
who felt for the degraded condition of his race,
and sighed to participate in some work of gener
al melioration.
‘I have slain men with impunity and without
remorse, who were in my judgment burdensome
to the generation with which they stood conneo.
ted, and whose death I supposed would prove a
blessing to socio'y. lam now charged with
murder, and convicted, upon evidence which I
admit to be strong, and even irresistible, of the
slaying of a human being in cold blood 1 am
now to be held responsible ?. He was my en
emy without provogstion. He pursued roe with
unsparing malignity. He subjected me te in
dignities which excited me to madness, and I
vowed never to rest satisfied taitil my persecu
tor should cease to live. Look upon me ; bear
witness to the world hereafter that 1 1 stand up at
this solemn hour, calmly and composedly before
you. My soul is unconscious of crime. My
heart accuses me not of murder; and when a
lew days hence, I shall ascend the scaffold, to
expiate offences of which I am myself not sen
sible, by undergoing a dishonorable death, I
shall be found 1 trust, as calm, as self possessed
and unruffled as F now am.’
Sorb said Air Foote, i* the character and bis*
toiV i>t the niait who in liiijm, •vkj, hrirewn
till’ Tvldi K, y * * t! r Mi- - .idppi.’
The Masieiaß aid the Bell,
Some years since, there lived in the city of
B , a celebrated performer on the French
Horn. He waa of German descent, but was
nevertheless proud of America, the land of his
nativity, and looked upon ail imported musicians
with bitter contempt. Roerbill was a favorite
with the people of B , and was invited to
almost every entertainment given by the elite of
the city.
But sorry am Ito say that the French Horn
was not the only cornucopiary article to which
the great musician was devoted. A horn of
brandy and water was equally his delight, and
an evening’s entertainment was scarcely ever
closed before be had risen to a state of beat
itude, seldom attained by water-loving mortals.
It was a cold night in December,- when all
the gay fashionables of B had assemfded
at the residence of one ofthe wealthiest citizens
in the vicinity of the city. The party was a
brilliant one, and the gifted Roerbill was in his
glory, lie never performed better in his life.
He ‘outdid’ himself. The soil and mellow
| tones floated front his magic horn like the en
| rupturing strains of an cnchauted isle. Gaily
j and joyfully passed the hours, until ‘ the clock
| told the hour for retiring.’ But, alas! tho truth
i must be told. Poor Mr. Roerbill! what ails
j thee now? Is it the inspiration of the music.
! or of me spirit-stirring draught too freely imbi
(Jed that causes thy eye (o glitter so wildly ?
Alas! 1 cannot tell! But certain it is, that
when Mr. Roerbill slatted on his hotnewuid
course, his vision was very ‘oblique,’ and his
steps, as Carlyle would say, a little ‘ obliquer.’
Being, in that hour of bliss somewhat fond ofthe
line of beauty, lie had wandered ontofhi* way,
and presently found himself in a field, where a
largo Durham was wont to roam. As he
manfully worked his way through the drifting
snow, and staggered bravely on ward, he was
observed by the bull, who, —that is the bull
not liking the ill-timed invasion of his ancient
domain, advancud menacingly towards the in
truder. Mr. Roerbill, by this time had met with
an insurmountable obstacle, and fallen prostrate
upon a bank of snow, which, being observed by
the indignant animal, he halted ; and, after
proudly pawing the snow-covered earth, gave
one loud, and not altogether unmusical bellow.
The fallen hero turned his eyes upon the assail
ant, and alter carefully survey ing his person,
exclaimed, in the most contcniptuuus tones :
* Sir, you are an imported musician—hie—
liic you are.—and nothing else. Sound A, sir,
—sound A.’
* 800-00-o !’ roared the bull.
‘ Sound A !—I say, sound A,’ replied Mr. llo
crbill.
* 800-00-o !’ repeated the bull.
‘ That aint A. you imported rascal,’ cried the
indignant musician.
‘ 800-00-00-o !’ roared the bull in still louder
notes.
Pretty good—pretty good 1 Now sound B,
you foreign impostor !’ cried Mr. Roerbill, at
the top of his voice.
But this time he received no reply. The in
fiiriated animil, instead af obeying the mandate
of poor Roerbill, rushed upon the (alien hero,
and raising him on his horns threw him twenty
paces over fi stnnll ravine nqr hy. Fortu.
nately, Roeibill alighted on afeother bank of
snow, and was not much injured. Ho arose
in a few moments, dashed tho’ snow from his
lace, and then turning towards the bull, and in
dignantly shaking his fist at tho still enraged
beast, exclaimed :
•Sir,you may be a good musician, but you
arc no gentleman /’—Great IFesf,
The ‘yoL'NG man’s Almanac. —Staring at
a lady under her bonnet, is considered very
much beneath a gentleman.
Never sit next to a baby in an omnibus, much
less between two habies.
Never go into a theatre when a money-taker
says “There is plenty of standing room,” Unless
you wish to see the performances fron the slips,
over a Black Sea of hats. .
If you light yqpr cigar at a lamp-post, take
care it has not been newly painted.
It is n very bad case whon a young man
parts with his watch, even to prove that “Time
is money.’’
“Whut is enough for one is enough for two’,”
says the old proverb : but this can scarcely be
said to apply to tavern steaks, which certainly
got srmllor by degrees, and beautifully less eve.
ry year.
Never do things by halve*, lmlocj ii =
ding a bank-note by the post, or paying a cab
man his demand.
You often hear of a man ‘‘being in advance
of his age,” but you never heard ot a woman
being in the same predicament.—Quite the
contrary.
Certain young men, when they are invited
out to a ball, only go in time for supper. These
are what may be called the supper-numeraries
of society.
A walking-stick has legs, but an. umbrella
has wings. By-the-byc. if you are wise you
will lake care not to buy a silk umbrella, for it
only flies all the quicker.
The most certain method of borrowing £5 is
to ask for j£lo.
Y'ou had not better attempt to decipher any
correspondence when you get home late after
supper, for it is a grammatical truth that a per
son must master his liquids before he can go
through his letters.
A “rising young man” is one who rises reg.
ularly—not later than eight o’clock ; a “promis
ing young man” is one who pays his tailor not
later than a twelvemonth altei he has promised
him.
“Healths” are no longer complimentary ; but
a medical man should particularly refrain from
proposing a person's health, for he is sure to bn
suspected of wishing him ill.
Be careful, if you hare your portrait in the
Exhibition, not to stand opposite it, or else you
will probably overhear remarks that will make
you feel most unpleasantly beside yourself.
Os all passages in a young man’s life, there
is none so trying, so solemn, or accompanied
with so much earnest feeling, as seeking for the
lucifer-box in the dark.
To soften a Policeman call him “Inspector.”
A bad hat, taken to an evening party, fre
|iiently comes out next day as good as new.
If two omnibuses are racing, never hail the
dtwt unless you hnve a particular fancy to be
tjn over bv the ‘vrmid. Ttyere.** Almanac!;
‘for 184 ft. ‘
Thc Black Coat.—The Rev. Drs. Chaun
cey and Cooper of Boston were intimate friends.
Dr. Chauncey, like many literary men was ha
bitually absent. Dr. Cooper was noted for his
inviting brother clergymen to preach for him ;
was currently reported that he used to walk
out on Boston neck every Saturday afternoon,
and inrite the first gentleman with a black coat
whom be saw coming into town, to fiil his pul.
pit for him.
A negro servant of Dr. Chauncey’s who pro.
furred anew garment, to the dark discarded
vestment of his master, determined to turn his
knowledge of these facts to his advantage. Hav.
ing one morning carried the usual supply of
wood into his master’s study, he remained stan*
ding; the doctor soon noticed him, and the fob
lowing conversation took place.
•Well, Sambo, what do you want?’
• Want a coat, sar. De old one patched to
pieces, I ’fraid to go nowberes.’
•Very well, Sambo, go to Mrs. Chauncey, and
tell her to give you one of mine.’
I’hc Doctor resumed his studies, but Sambo
retained his position. His master observing
him a second time, and forgetting what had
passed between them, asked— M
’ What do you want, Sambo ?*
• O just a coat, sar. Old coat full of hoiesT’’
‘Very woll, go and she will
give you one of
A second time the doctor resumed his book,
but finding thc black still stationary, he began
to recall what had passed and exclaimed with
some asperity :
•Well sir, why don’t you go V
‘Cause 1 ’fraid massa Chauncey.’
• Afraid ? of what ?’
‘ Why, sar, I ’fraid to wear a black coat,
cause—no, —no, it won't do—l can’t tell you,
sa r.’
I insist upon it.
‘ Well then, if I must—sir, ’fraid, ’cause, oh
no! massa, you’ll be so angry.’
‘ I wish I had my cane here;’ exclaimed the
doctor.
Sambo finding from his impatient glance at
the tongs, that there was a possibility of finding
a substitute, cried out: ‘Oh! sar, neber mind
do cane, I tell yiu why 1 ‘fraid to wair one
of your coats—l ’fraid if I had annoder black
coat—that Doctor Cooper will ask me to preach
for him.’
The Doctor burst into laughter. Go, go
Sambo, ask Mrs. Chauncey to buy a coat of
whatever color you lancy.’
Sambo hastened off, grinning with delight, to
get a scarlet coat, and Dr. Chauncey ran to Dr.
Cooper to tell him of the whole affair.
Latin vs. Grain.—The following, we copy
from Sachet’s Parlor Paper. The story is well
told:—
The Rev. Dr. P was settled over a large
congregation in the State of Connecticut, made
up in great part of intelligent farmers. He was
a very loarned man, and sometimes illustrated
his sermons hy rather free quotations from the
old Latin Fathers. The good farmers with a
fair knowledge of their vernacular, were not,
however, competent to interpret Origin or St.
Augustine, and whenever the Doctor came at
they were obliged to take
hunle r
J’joVsiafi - ~tf ,e expense of a severe spirit,
ual
lathe Doctor’s congregation was an old sort
of genius by the name ol Merrie. On one oc.
casion the Doctor bought some grain of Merrie,
which proved to be full of vile admixtures that
rendered it nearly worthless. Meeting him
soon Hfter. the Doctor addresser! him :
‘ Mr. Merrie, that grain which 1 purchased
of you, was full of cockle-seed and chess.’
• Indeed !’
‘Yes, and it makes very black bread; Mr.
Merrie, —we can scarcely eat it.’
•Well, Doctor,’said Merrie, with a funny twin
kle in his eye, ‘l’m sorry,—but I guess you’ll
have to let the cockle-seed and chess stand off
against the Latin in your sermons I’
A Popular Preacher. —A short time ago,
one of the self-elected class of divines, who are
not in common excessively college bred, was
holding forth to a congregation upon a subject
well calculated to arouse the attention of incor
rigible hearts. After blazing away with this
subject, until he had rendered Pandemonium as
hot as Vesuvius, and as black as Milton’s Satah,
he rounded a sublime, peroration tviih the fob
lowing sentence : “ Now, hearken, ye sinners I
.ltn y- lUty'u -it pn t n h—l, as sure as I’ll
catch that fly on thc Bible ;” at the samtTtttfie
making a determined swoop with his palm across
the sacred page, to capture the talismanic insect.
He then proceeded to open his clinched fist, fing
er by finger, until the last digit was released, but
behold, thc poor fly had eluded his grasp. Look
ing surprised and disappointed for a few moments,
the minister at once exclaimed, “by thc hoky,
I’ve miss’d him I—there’s a chance for you yet,
ye sinful ragamuffins I”
\n Arab Retort.—‘Why do you not thank
God,’asked Mansur of an Arab,‘that, since I
have been your ruler, you havo never been af
flicted with the plague ?*
• God Is 100 good io send two scourges upon
us at once,’ was the reply, but it cost the speak,
er his life.
Patronism.—An Irish friend, speaking of
his native country, said it was an execrable
place ; in fact, the only thing in it worth own.
ing was the whiskey, and that certainly was
admirable.
‘You mean to say, then,’ said a waggish
friend, ‘ that with all her faults, you love her
still r
“How do you do, Mrs. Tome; have you
heard that story about Mrs. Ludy ?”
“Why, no, really, Mrs. Gab, wbat is it !
do tell.’’
“Oh, I promised not to tell for the world I
No, I must never tell it. I’m afraid it’ll get
out.”
“Why, I’ll nover tell it as long as I live,
just as true as the world—what is it ? come...
tell.”
“Now you won’t say anything about it will
you?”
“No, I will never open my head about it sa
credly. Hope to die this minute.”
“Well, if you believe mo, Mrs. Funday told
me, last night, that, Mrs. Trott told her that her
sister’s husband was told, by a person who saw
it, that Mrs. Trouble’s oldest daughter told
Mrs. Nicolas, that she hoard Mrs. Putein tell
Naomi Bliilc, that a milliner told her that bus.
f. > -err.’ mu’ of Ptshiotl.”
Case or Insanity. —The first case of note
this morning was that of M'. Tobias Baker,
charged with insanity, by bis wife, Mrs. Sarah
Jane Baker. Mr. B. is a man of sober and
subdued aspect, decently dressed, and seemingly
about fifty years old. Mrs. B. is a keen-eyed,
sallow matron, of spare figure and commanding
stature, being half a head taller than her hus.
band, who stood meekly by her side, while she
made her complaint.
‘lf you please, Sir, (said Mrs. Baker to the
Mayor,) 1 want to have something done with
my old man here, for I don’t think it safe to let
him go about.’
‘Why not ?’ inquired his Honor. <He does
not look like a dangerous person.’
* Looks is very deceiving,’ observed Mrs. Ba
ker. ‘For all he seems so quiet just now, he’s
as crazy as a loon.’
‘ What does he do that looks like madness ?’
asked the Mayor.
‘ Why he kicks hideously sometimes, when
he’s asleep.’ remarked Mrs. Baker.
‘That may be owing to (he fleas, or the night,
mare.’
•Nightmare ! I never heard of such a mare
as that,’said Mrs. Baker; ‘but why should any
kind of a marc make a man kick like a horse?
TjlVfl again, he’s got such a monstrous appe
tite ! he’lleat as nfinyHlß"TtjTwjK|fo*aloe># ,^P l
setting. Would any man in bis right senses do
the like of that?’
‘lf the potatoes were well cooked, madam, I
think be might.’
‘ Well, I never! a man with his seven senses
to eat six potatoes! Then again, sometimes he
sepms so fond of me, that he is readv to eat xs
up.’
i ‘That does look a little suspicious, madam, I
must confess,’ remarked his honor.
‘I guess it does,’ resumed Mrs. Baker; he’d
be hugging and kissing me half the time, if I’d
let him.’
* Avery decided symptom of an unsound
intellect, 1 must say,’ observed his Honor,
thoughtfully, and perusing thc couutenance of
Mrs. B.
• But the worst of all is,’ cried Mrs. Baker,
growing more warm, ‘he won’t let me keep the
cash, and buy what I take a notion to. Don’t
that show how crazy he is ?’
‘ You hear,’ said bis honor, addressing tho
accused, ‘You hear Ibe charge, Mr. Baker.—
Whut can you say to it ?’
‘l’m not sure but she’s right,’ answered B.
* I must have been crazy when I married her ;
and the trouble I’ve had since was not calculated
to make me any straighter,’
‘ 1 think,’ said the Mayor, after a pause for
consideration, ‘you had better take him home,
Mrs. Baker, and try him awhile longer; if he
continues his strange capers, and especially
that hugging and kissing of yourself, let us
know, and we’ll take care to put him in safe
keeping .'—Pennsylvanian.
Anecdote or Wm. Laud.—When the tern,
perancc movement first came into notice, Mr.
Ladd—though an ‘ardent reformer’—was not
quite prepared to go the entire pledge. Ho
was willing to eschew rum, gin, brandy, ‘sour
; cider,’and all that; but he could not go the
abandonment of his wine, his rich, mellow,
hciirt-worming winc ! Til UTCI lie OAU g*ve
- i.i .1 [.. irOTt..j ol getting • sawed ’
upon the generous fluid. His wine cellar was
gelling low ; but every body was signing the
pledge, and it must be replenished in a shady
way, or not at all. Being at Portland about this
time, he bought a barrel of fine old wine, and
employed ‘Uncle ‘Siah,’ a well known teamster
to haul it to Minot, saying :
‘ Here, take this barrel of ‘oil’ with thc other
articles.’
He reached home first, and after seeing the
‘oil’ carefully deposited in the cellar, he cante t
the door to settle for the hauling.
‘ Well, Uncie Siah,’ said the Captain, rubbing
his hands, ‘I really wish 1 had something good
| for you to drink ; but the temperance folks are
making such a confounded noise, we a—a--
have to banish it from our houses.
But ‘Uncle ’Siah’ had already a hit of brick
in his hat, and was bolding himself rather un
steadily by the wheel.
•It’s n-n-no-m-matter, Chappcn,’ he hiccup,
ped, ‘not the last kuc-kuc con-se-hic-se-qucnse.
conce I 1 d-don’t nped any—l w-was dry, b.
b-but I took a g-g-good drink out yous oil c.c.
cask. It’s fca-hie.apital oil, Cap’n! Pure w.
wintet-strained, and no m-tn-mistakc I’ The
Captain came out a ruhk teetotaller at the next
temneranee meeting.
Decidedly Rich—One of the parvenu la.
1 dies of our village, but would be wonderfully ar
! istocratic in all domestic matters, wa* visiting
a few days since at Mr. G ’s, (all know
the old Major,) when, after tea, the following
conversation occurred between the Major’s ex.
cellent old-fashioned lady and the ‘top-not’ in
consequence of the hired girl occupying a scat
at the table.
Mrs . ‘Why Mrs. 1 you do not allow
your hired girl to eat with you at the table?
It’s horrible.’
Mrs. &- ‘Most certainly I do. You*
know this’ hne ever been my practice. It was
so when you worked for me—don’t you rccol.
lect ?’
03” A metropolitan house-keeper advertised
recently for a wet nurse. A young Irish girl
offered herself.
‘How old are you, Bridget ?’ said Madame.
‘Sixteen, please Ma’am.’
‘Have you ever had a baby ?’
‘No, Ma’am, but I am very fond of them.’
‘Then I’m afraid, Bridget, you will not do
me. It is a wet nurse I want.’
• Ob, please Ma’am, I know I’ll do, ,Fm very
’asy to teach !’
‘Well, Joe, I understand you’re going to Cal.
ifornia.’ *
•No sir.ee ! I’m going to the theatre.*
‘All right; 1 thought you were going to the
play sir’ (placer.)
Naval Tactics.—A captain, one oftho old
school, being at a ball, had been accepted by a
beautiful partner, a lady of rank, w ho, in the
most delicate manner possible, hinted to him
the propriety of putting on a pair of gloves.
•Oh!’ was the elegant reply i ‘never mind me,
ma’am : I shall wash my hands when TTe done
dancing .’
The very last curiosity we have seen spoken
of in the papers, is a “ wheel that came off a
dog’s tail when it was a t raggin'.’ The man
that sent it in has retired entirely from public
life.