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CALHOUN TIMES
I> I>. FREEMAN, Proprietor.
CIRCULATES EXTENSIVELY IN]
Gordon and Adjoining Counties.
Office n-Wall St., Southwest of Court House.
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION,
One Year §2.00
Six Months 100
fdmluU.
Western & Atlantic Railroad
AND ITS CONNECTIONS.
4 * KEJSJNBSA W RO VTJE”
The following takes effect may 23d, 1875
NORTHWARD. No. 1.
Leave Atlanta 4.10 r.M
Arrive Cart,ersville.... 6.14
Kingston 6.42 “
“ Dalton 8.24 “
“ Chattanooga 10.25 “
No. 3.
Leave Atlanta 7.01' a.m
Arrive Cartersviile 9.22 „
“ Kingston 9.56 “
“ Dalton 11.54 “
Chat a looga 1.56 r.M
No. 11.
Leave Atlanta..;;. 3,30 r.M
Arrive Cartersviile 7.19 “
“ Kingston 8.21 “
“ Dalton 11.18 “
SOUTHWARD. No. 2.
Leave Chattanooga 4.00 r.M
Arrive Dalton 5.41 “
“ Kingston 7,28 “
“ Cartersviile 8.12 “
“ Atlanta 10.15 “
No. 4.
] erve Chattanooga 5.00 a.m
AV; ive Dalton 7.01 “
“ Kingston 9.07 “
“ Cartersviile 9.42 “
“ Atlanta 12 06 r.M
No. 12.
I a\ Dalton 1.00 a.m
Ari Kingston 4.19 “
‘ Cartersviile 5.18 “
•• Atlanta 9.20 “
u man Palace Cars run on Nos. 1 and 2
be e n New Orleans and Baltimore.
.01 an Palace Cars run on Nos. 1 and 4
bet con Atlanta and Nashville.
1 lln an Palace Cars run on Nos. 2 and 3
bit . eer Louisville and Atlanta.
1-%, o change of cars between New Or
leai •, a ibile, Montgomery, Atlanta and
Bal mor , and only one change to New
Yor v.
P issen irs leaving Atlanta at 410 r. m.,
arri ein ew York the second afternoon
ther after t 4.00.
E eursio i tickets to the Virginia springs
and variou- summer resorts will be on sale
in N w Orb ns, Mobile, Montgomery, Co
luml as, Ma on, Savannah, Augusta and At
lanta, at gi atly reduced rates, first of
June
Pa ties des ring a whole car through to
i he \ irginia l wrings or Baltimore, should
;• ddiess the i r lersigned.
P.t ties coni otplating travel should send
1 nr a copy cf t ve Kcnnesaw Route Gazette,
c onto uing sclu lulcs. etc.
OUt.
B. W. WRENN,
GAP. & T. A., Atlanta, Ga.
Change of Schedule.
04 T.IE GEORGIA AND MACON AND
AUGUS'I V RAILROADS.
ON VND AFTER SUNDAY, JUNE 28tii,
18 74, the Passenger Trains on the Georgia
urd !\ aeon and /\ngusta Ri&yoads will run
as foil ws :
GEORGIA RAILROAD.
Day Z'af.v tg-tr Train Will
L ave Augusta at 8:45 a m
Leave Atlanta at 7:00 a m
A riv i in Augusta at 3:3(1 p m
A Ti\c in Atlanta at 5:15 p m
Niggt 1 assenger Train.
I ea\e Augusta at 8:15 p m
I ea . e Atlanta at 10:30 p m
\n ve in Augusta at 8:15 a m
Ar. ive in Atlani i at 6:22 a ni
MACON AND AUGUSTA RAILROAD.
Maco Passenger Train.
T eave Auguste at 0n...10:45 a m
1 cave Canuck ,t 2:15 p m
Arrive at Ma* on at 6:40 p m
Leave Macon at 6:30 a in
Arrive at Ca uak at 10:45 a m
Arrive at A\ gusta at 2:00 p m
BERZE /LI PASSENGER TRAIN.
Leave Aug sta at 4;15 p m
Leave Ber elia at 8:30 a m
Arrive m lugusta at 9;55 a m
Arrive in Bcrzelia at 6:50 p m
Passen ers frot.i Athens, Washington, At
lanta., or any poiut, on the Georgia Rail
road and Branches, by taking the Day Pas
senger Train, will make close connection
at Gama c with trains for Macou. and all
points beyond.
Pulln an’s (First-Class) Palace sleepiu
Cars or all Night Passenger Trains on h
Georgi Railroad.
S. K. J OJINSON, Superintendent.
Nuperi utendent’s Office Georgia and Macon
and Augusta Railroads, Augusta, June
29, t 874,
7*?vo UvSiomU k gusuu\s.s (f nvd.s;
JJ K. 31 AIN, 31, 13.
PRACTICING iPHYSICIAN,
Ila Aug permanently located in Calhoun,
offer • his professional services to the pub
lic. Will attend all calls when - not profes
sion lly engaged. Office at the Calhoun
Hotel.
Special ’ Notice.
MISS HUDGINS can now befouud at
MRS. MILLS’
FURNISHING ESTABLISHMENT,
51 Broad Street, Rome, Ga., where she is
prepared to do Mantua makiug and Cutting
in all its branches. Call and see.
Mrs, Mills is receiving a full stock of
millinery and fancy notions, latest styles
felt, straw and velvet hats, cloaks sacks
and wraps in endless variety. Everything
necessary kept for ladies’ outfit. [sep29-7m.
TilIE undersigned have located themselves
at t€e JMims Tan-yard, on the Love’s
Bridge road, 3J miles from Calhoun, for
the purpose of carrying on
THE TANNING BUSINESS.
They are prepared to receive hides to tan
ou shares, or will exchange leather .or
hides. They bind themselves to prepare
leather in workmanlike style, *
WM..HUNTER & SO3.
September 1875,’2m,
CALHOUN TIMES.
Two Dollars a Year.
VOL. YI.
CHEAPEST AND BEST!
iiowAun
HYDRAULIC CEMENT!
MANUFACTURED NEAR KINGSTON,
BARTOW COUNTY, GEORGIA.
Equal to the best imported Portland Cement.
Send for Circular. Try this before
buying elsewhere.
Refers by permission to Mr. A. J. West,
President of Cherokee Iron Company, Polk
county, Georgia, who has built a splendid
dam across Cedar Creek, using this cement,
and pronouncing it the best he ever used.
Also refer to Messrs. Smith , Son & Bro., J.
E. Veal, F. I. Stone. J. J. Cohen and Major
Tom Berry, Rome, Georgia, Major H. Bry
an, of Savannah, T. C. Douglas, Sunerin
temlent of Masonry, East River Bridge,
New York, Gen. Wm. Mcßae, Superintend
ent W. & A. Railroad, Capt. J. Postell, C.
E. Address
G. 11. WARING, Kingston, Ga
octlSl y.
I
IF YOU would enjoy' the
1 I\TT| raost delightful luxury ; if
I/* Vl| jyou would be speedily,cheap-
UllililJLr ly, pleasantly and perma
nently cured of all Inflam
matory, Nervous, Constitu
tional and Blood Disorders
if you have Rheumatism,
Scrofula. Dyspepsia, Bron
chitis, Catarrh, Diarrhoea,
Dysentery, Piles, Neuralgia,
Paralysis, Disease of the
Kidneys, Genitals or Skin,
Chill and Fever, or other
Malarial Affections ; if you
would be purified from all
Poisons,whether from Drugs
or Disease; if you would
H. have Beauty, Health and
iSil Long Life go to the Hygien
ic Institute,and use Nature’s
Great Remedies,the Turkish
Bath, the “ Water-cure Pro
cesses,” the “ Movement
cure,” Electricity and other
Hygienic agei ts. Success
is wonderful—curing all cu
rable cases. If not able to
go and take board, seftd full
account of your case, and
get directions for treatment
at home. Terms reasona
ble. Location, corner Loyd
and Wall streets, opposite
i\\\m | Passenger Depot, Atlanta.
1 fli * j NQ Stajjjr'ack Wilson,
Ph.ysician-in-Charge.
Awarded the Highest Medal at Vienna.
E. & H. T ANTHONY & CO.,
591 IHhmkHvay, Sew York.
(Opp. Metropolitan Hotel.)
Manufacturers, Importers Sc Deal
ers in
CHEOMOS AND FRAMES,
Stereoscopes and Views,
Albums, Graphoscopes an 1 suitable views,
Photographic Materials,
We are Headquarters for everything in the
way of
Stereoscopticons and May ic
Lanterns .
Being manufacturers of the
Micro-Scicn t ific Lem tern ,
Stereo-Pa noptico n ,
University-Stereoscopt icon,
Adveitiser’s Slereoscepticon ,
A rtopticon ,
Scholl Lantern , Family Lantern,
People's Lantern.
Each style being the best of its class in the
market.
Catalogues of Lanterns and Slides with
directions for using sent on application.
Any enterprising man can make money
with a magic lantern.
fit-aTCut out this advertisement for refer
ence. Bep29-9m
Bride-Layer & Contractor.
TITHE undersigned most respectfully begs
t leave to inform the citizens of Calhoun
and surrounding country that, having pro
cured the aid of Mr. Hilburn as a number
one bricklayer and Barrey O’Fallen as a
number one rock-mason, is prepared to do
all work in t is line in the most satisfactory
manner and on moderate terms. The pat
ronage of the public generally solicited.
HENRY M. BILLHLMER.
Calhoun, Ga., November 9, 1875.
All orders Addressed to me as above will
receive prompt attention. novlO-ly
LIVERY & SALE STABLE.
Good Saddle and Buggy Horse?
anti New V ehicles.
Horses and mules for sale.
Stock fed and cared for.
Charges will be reasonable.
Will p.y the cash for corn in :he ear and
fodder in the bundle. fcb3-tb
FIELD, CU7FTV Q FLO WE B,•
GARDENS iILUbfKEE,HEDGE,&c
We otter our usual large and complete as
sortment, embracing the most desirable va
rieties and of best quality, and mail price
list to any address on receipt, ot stamp.
Si eds of all kinds by 7 acket, ounce, nmu i,
and quart, can be sent by mail to any post
office in the United States.
EDWARD J. EVANS & CO.,
Nurserymen and Seedsmen.
Jun29-lmo, Yobk, Fa.
CALIIOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY" 2, IS7G.
GOING TO SCHOOL.
Oh, the going to school in my 7 girlhood,
In the little red schoolhouse so low !
By the flower-sprinkled path way in Sum
mer.
In winter o’er crisp-drifted snow.
Oh, the freedom from care and from Doub
le !
There’s to learning no royal road,
Yet the old-fashioned country children
Their way right royally trode.
llow brimful of fun and frolic.
As well of study were to me !
My schoolmates—black haired, brown and
golden
Mcm’ry faithful pictures to me.
How we played on the grass ’neath the ma
pies,
In the noonings, or down the green lane
Went in search of such berries delicious
As we never sha.l gather again !
How we doubted the wisdom of teachers,
Nor grew quite as wise as we might,
Our eyes from the page playing truant,
To the clover-field blossoming bright.
When four o’clock came—Oh, how wel
come !
Farewell then to lesson and book,
llow often we lingered home going
To lave our brown feet in the brook !
Oh. how well rememl ered the school-room,
The desks and the benches so high
The windows, all guiltless of shutters,
Ah w<ll! but those days have gone by.
\eseven the red schoolhouse has vanished ;
At the new one ’neath the sheltering trees
There is teaching, with ‘‘modern improve
ments ”
Were the former times better than these ?1
And my schoolmates, lik~ autumn leaves
scattered,
And some of them—lying as low,
Beneath costly tribute of marble;
Over some the forget-me-nots grow.
And the living, the lab’ring, the loving,
The hands and the hearts that are full—
We are learning full many a lesson
We are scholars still going to school.
And when the long school day is finished,
“ Life’s sun sinking low in the west,”
Glad children, with hope undiminished, ,
May we seek our home joys and home
rest.
If we linger awhile by tl e wayside,
We’ll still keep sweet home in fair sight
At the gate, with “we’ll meet in the morn-,
ing,”
Sweetly bid our companions “ Good
night.”
Why YossngjlLali<‘s DressExtrav*
agantly.
Goins down town recently, we chanc
ed to walk a short distance behind tvva
s'ylish young gentlemen and overheard
one gentleman say to the other, “ well
troi! her ou t this evening and lot’s see
her rags, and I’ll tell you what I think
of her.”
F.'egant language from young gentle
men who consider themselves respecta
ble ; and complimentary to young ladies
who think themselves respectable.
These same young men no doubt be.
long to that class who can no\ afford to
marry because the girls are so extrava
gant ; they will dress in the fashion,
and tiiat costs more than the majority
of the young men can afford. But
whose fault is it that •they spend all
their time training and frizzing ? If one
of them thought best to wear last year’s
hat or mantel would she go to an ope
ra, concert or party ? Not once in the
season, and she knows it.
Every once in a while we read a very
entertaining article on the character
istics ol the young ladies el different
cities, ail as true as fiction, of course,
and we remember of reading once such
an article, in which an editor, since no
torious in other cities, paid the follow
ing high compliment to Kansas City
girls: “They do not affect any partic
ular sty'e of young men, but judge ail
by their brain and r ossibilitms.”
We fear that it might be said with
more truth of the young men of all
cities nowadays, that they do not effect
a part cuiar style of yuung Ladies and
judge all by their dress and its probable i
cost.
'J > be sure the young man has a con
science and a heart, which may twinge
a little, while he escorts the most hand*,
some young lady on the street, if there
chanced to be somewhere cdse a little
maiden whom some day to
sew on his buttons, and whose papa is
not worth §50,0 0 ; but then he must
have his amusement, and it would be
anything but pleasure for him to gal
lant a young lady who was not just in
style.
Don’t blame the girls too much for
their extravagance and waste of time,
until you look about and see whose
fault it is. For dressing beyond their
means is one of the many evils now se
riously affecting the people in couutry
to Aiis and cities, crying loudly for re
form and contraction. If the young
men dress fine and costly, it is to please
the ladies ; and if the ladies dress ex
'ravagantly, it is to please the men. —
Let both take a sensible, reasonable
view of the subject,dress with reference
to taste and circumstances, not aping
or following those who, out living their
income, dress extravagantly for the sake
of display. Our people need to be care
ful, and the quicker they bestow more
sense and reflection on inis subject, the
better for all concerned.
A Recite for Making Scandal.
-—Take a grain of falsehood, a handful
of rut about, the same quantity of nib
bletongue, a sprig of the herb backbite,
a teaspoonful of don’t-you tell-it, six
drams ot malice, and a few drops ot
envy Stir well together and simmer
half an hour. Add a little discontent
and jealousy, then stra n through a bag
of misconstruction, cork it up in abut
tie of malevolence, anu hang i„ upon a
skein of street yarn. Shake it occa"
sioually for a few days, and it will be
fit for use. Let a few drops be taken
before walking out, and the desired re
sult will follow.
•‘Truth Conquers All Things.’
ANDREW JOUYSO.VS WIFE.
The Career of a Faithful and
Devoted W ife v ho Honored her
Husband.
Washington, Jan. 17. —The widow
of exsl’resider.t Andrew Johnson has
survived her husband but a few months
We have not a living ex-President at
this time, but there are even yet three
surviving widows of ex-Presidents—
Mrs. x\braham Lincoln, Mrs. John Ty
ler, and Mrs James K. Polk, whose
husband was President thirty years ago.
Mrs. Johnson, who died at Greenville,
Tenn., has been a patient sufferer for
many loug years, including those wears
when she was the occupant of the
White House; and since the death of
her husband, in August last, she had
been sinking till her life closed on Sat
urday last. She was four yeais younger
than her husband, and had, therefore,
just reached the age of sixty-six years.
Her maiden name was Miss Eliza
mcCardle, an 1 she was an attractive
damsel, when in her seventeenth year,
She was wooed and won in her tfioun
tain home by the poor but ambitious
young tailor of Greenville, v ho was not
yet twenty-one. She was a bright
young woman, who had obtained §,uch
education as was afforded by the schools
of the day in that part of the country;
tud there is no doubt that Andrew John
on who felt the superiority of her ac
quirements, was largely indebted to her
for that mental stimulus which led him
into those studies which he pursued
■with such assiduity from the period of
their marriage. It is stated that the
youthful couple used to study together
fai into the night, when the rest of the
vilagers were asleep ; that she was in
the habit of reading aloud to him while
he worked away at his trade of tailor>
ing; that she aided him to read fluent
ly, and that she guided his hand while
he struggled to acquire the art of wri l
ting. It is often said she taught him
the alphabet; but this is a mistake; for
though he was never at school, he had
pushed beyond that stage of learning
before he left North Carolina for Tenn.-
essee. She was to him a most excel
lent and gentle housewife, as well as a
teacher of indefatigable zeal, while at
the same time the displays tde best
practical capacity in her ways of life
and in the ordering of their little house
hold. In still other ways she assisted
him, and his early popularity in Green
ville was largely qvving to the frankness
ad amiability of her intercourses with
the people of the village. We have
heard of her modest pride when Mr.
Johnson, a few years after their marri*
age, received that first public honor up
on which he himself was so fond of di
lating, in his election to Alderman.—
Their home was gladdened by little
children, and her husband’s fame was
increased until he wore the lautels of
Mayoralty. During these years, as
through all the subsequent years of her
life, she herself was of the most retir
ing disposition, and always avoided any
thing that might bring her into any
sort of publicity, saying to women of
more ambition that her enjoyment was
in her home, witfi her children, practi
cing the economy rendered necessary by
her husband’s slender means. When
Mr. Johnson went to Nashville as a
member of the Tennessee Legislature,
she remained at Greenville in charge of
their household ; and even when he be
came Governor of the State, she con
tinued to maintain that degree of
domestic privacy which was uiosc
congenial to her nature. In the
spring of 1861, when Mr Johnson was
a Federal Senator, just before the out
break of the war, she removed to
Washington ; but afVr a short residence
there with her husband, she had to re
turn to Tennessee on account of her
health, She was there, and he was in
Washington, when the war began ; and,
as he could not enter Tenne-se, which
was then a member of the Confederacy,
and she could not leave the State by
reason of ill health, they were separated
from each other for nearly two years.—
Her experiences during this period were
of a trying kind. Ig 1862 the Con
federate authorities required her to leave
the Confederacy, but they did not en
force the order upon learning he'* con
dition. Some months afterward she
was so disturbed over the reports about
her husband that she asked permission
to leave, which was granted; but it
was only after many set backs, many
troubles, and much hard journeying,
that the feeeble woman at last reached
Nashville, where her husband was in
stalled as military Governor of Tennes
see. His emotion on meeting his suK
fering wife, after their long separation,
amid the stormy scenes of war, over
came him, aud were relieved by a pro- 7
fusion of tears. In a short time, her
mother’s heart was pierced by the
death of her eldest sou, who had just
been appointed an army sergeon, and
was instantly killed by being thrown
from his horse.
When Mr. Johnson went on from
hville to Washington in 1865, to
enter on office of Vice President, lie
made preparations ior .u removal of
his wife to Greenville ; but before Ke
hud been able to accompany her there,
the assassination of Mr. Lincoln induc
ed him to change h s plaus, and take
her to the new residence in the White
House, to which he had been so unex
pectedly called. There she remained
with him during the four stormy years
of his Presidency as a confirmed inva
lid. She never appeared in Washing
ington society, was know to but a small
circle of acquaintances, and was only on
rare occasions met by a few of the
friends who made visits to the White
House. She was last seen, and ain"
abode there, at a party given to her
grandchildren, when she was unable to
rise from her chair. Her daughter,
Mrs. Patterson, W‘s happily able to re
lieve her from the duties of the house
hold and of society. “We are plain peo
ple,” said she, “from the mountains of
Tennessee, and I-trust too much will
not be expected of us here.”
When President Johnsou’s Presiden
tial term expired, his wife gladly return
ed with him to their home in Green
ville, and there she lived till his death
last August, after which she took up
her residence with her daughter, f.t
whose house she died.
When the ex-President, after four
years of retirement from political life,
returned to Washington, in March of
last year, as Senator from Tennessee, his
wife was unable to accompany him, and
had no hope of ever more leaving her
solitary home.
If Mrs. Johnson had been as well
able to act as the advisor and guide of
her husband during the last part of her
life as she was during the first part of
it, he might have been saved from some
of the errors into which lie fell. But,
from first to last, she was to him a wife
whom he always loved, who possessed
the most amiable traits of character,
who exemplified all the domestic vir
tues, who assisted him in entering and
aided him in pursuing the paths that
led to eminence, who bore her suffer*
ings in patience and resignation, and
who lived a life that will make her
honorably remembered among American
women.
—
44 Let not the Nun Go Down upoii
\oi!i’ Wrath.
It was a beautiful custom which is
said once to have prevailed among the
Alpine shepherds, as they were scatter
ed about among the hills and Rlens of
offering up, simultaneously, at sunset
each day; an ascription of praise to
God. Someone low in the valley, as
the sun disappeared, would start the
strain which would be caught by an
other and another, until every crag and
rock and deep lavine would mingle
their echoes with the music of human
voices. The old man leaning upon his
crook —the ruddy young shepherdess
with her apron lull of flowers, and the
young shepherd with his harp, all
joined their voices, while the very flocks
seemed to understand this signal for
their return to the hamlet. Such a
scene must have boon pleasant to wit
ness, but not more so than that spread
out before the spirit world, if every one
would enter upon the literal practice of
this precept —“ Let not the sun go down
upon your wrath.” If, as the setting
sun is gilding the hdl tops with his
ja. ting beams, and the light of day is
lading into the dimness of twilight,
every person, from the man who holds
the sceptre of dominion to the humblest
beggar, would pause a moment and see
what traces the day’s jarring scenes
have left upon his spirit. Has the
treacherj ol a friend or the successful
assault of an enemy upon property or
reputation—the entrapment of the wick
ed and the development of selfishness
in its most hateful forms, flashed his
eye with anger and quickened the blood
in his veins ; have they caused his
burning hate to swell his bosom while
rash words have broken from his lips?
Then let the injured one pause and
commune with his own spirit—let him
search every recess there and see if an>
ger and hatred and revenge have still a
lurking place. He should not, indeed,
hope to find complacence in view of
wrong, but a sincere regard for the best
interests of the offender and a wish to
do him good.
An Original Lover.
We find in a recent novel a mode
of “popping the question,” so singular
in its way it is worth preserving: Miss
George answers a tap at the iront door, 1
and her lover, Mr. Fleetwood, proves to l
be the visitor. “ Miss George, I’ve
come ou an errand that makes me ner
vous. I’ve walked up to your door three
times to night before I dared to knock,
and now I’ve got in I’ve hardly cour
age to say what 1 want to say. The
fact is, when a man has got a favor to
ask, he doesn’t know well how to begin, j
especially if he’s a man of few words.”
Here Mr. Fleetwood stopped and an ;
awkward pause ensued.
“I’m sure if there is any favor we j
can do you we shall only be too glad to j
to oblige so kind a friend,” I began ; j
“I can never feel grateful enough for all j
—” ‘Stop, or you’ll be saying more than ;
you may wish. There is something you j
can and mething that will repay me j
a thousand times over, and make me j
the happiest man alive. You'll think
me very abrupt, I’m afraid ; but I want
to know if you'll marry me? i'll make
you a good aud faithful hnsband. |
God’s help, if you’ll have me. w‘° j
Th re, I’ve done it ng v * p,‘ n a pretty j
mesa I’ve made 1 , h ? d set !
down and covered my Lee with my
hands, aud I'm afrald 1 was b =S' umn S
to son. It bid come upon me so sud
denly. “I oughtn’t to have blurted it
out like that,” said Mr. Fleetwood, in
an uneasy voice. “I hope you are not
offended with me ? I was still silent, j
But it was from emotion, not anger or i
indifference. “If you wish me to go,
sit as you sit now, with your face turn
ed from me, but if you find it hard to
say the word I want to hear, just lift up
tlie bit of seaweedthere on the table by
your side, amfl’Slknow what you mean
Dorothv.” The jfroriD uttered in
a voice of feeling. i v .^^. ed U P
the manly, modest-Asay whetiii 4 °' e f UK ’
an d —or not, UfteJ
Suit-water Fishes.
The Codfish is the child of the oshun.
This ackounts for their being so salt.
'J hey are kaught with a hook and
line, and bite like a steel-trap, and hang
on like a poor relashun.
They are poor eating for a wel day ;
they are hotter than an umbrella to keep
a man dry.
Dried codfish is one of t'’e luxurys
of life, but codfish three times a day
would weaken my confidence in them.
Codfish never venture in fresh water,
they would spile it if they did.
I never have been codfishiug myself,
but think I should like it better than
fishing for frogs.
I think 1 could catch frogs well
enuff, but I should insist upon their
taking themselves off the hook.
I had rather take a boss bumble-bee
in mi hand than a live frog, not be
kause I am afraid the frog would bite,
but I am ov their kicking.
Sum people ain’t afraid to take any'*
thing with their hands that they kan
reach, not even an eel, but if i should
over git kaught by an eel if I couldn’t
settle with him right off, by giving him
the hook and line, I would throw the
pole into the bargain and put for home.
The codfish iz sod tew be an aristo->
crat, and to keep aloof fruui the other
fish ov hiz size in the sea, and claims to
be a relation ov the whales, but this
looks to me rather fishy.
I have noticed that the codfish al
wuz had a stiff upper lip, but I think
this iz owing more tew the bone that
iz in him than it iz tew his blood.
The Mackerel is a game fish. They
ought to be well edukated, for they an
al wus in schools.
They ain’t the only kind of fish that
are kaught by the same kind of b.*it.
Maekrel inhabit the sea, but those
which inhabit the grocerys olwuz tast>
ed to me r.z tho they had been born and
fatted on salt.
They want a good deal of freshning
before they are eaten, and they want a
good deal of freshening afterward.
If I can have plenty ov mack re! for
breakfast, I kan generally make the
other two meals out ov cold water.
Maekrel are considered bi menny
folks the best fish that swims and are
kalled the salt of the earth. —Josh Bil>
lings.
Mr. Smith's Character, by His
W il*e.
“ What a quiet man your husband is,
Mrs. Smith,"
“ Quiet ! A snail is an “ express
train "to him. If the top of the house
should blow off, he’d just sit still and
spread his umbrella. He’s a regular
pussy cat; comes to the front door as
though the entry was paved with eggs
and sits down on his chair as if there
was a nest of kittens under the cushion.
He’ll be the death of me yet ! I road
him all the horrid accidents, dreadful
collisions, murdere and explosions,
and he takes it just as easy as if I was
saying the ten commandments. He’s
never astonished or startled or delight
ed. If a cannon ball should pass
through the window, he wouldn’t move
an eyelash If I should make the voy
age of the world and return some fine
day, he’d take off his spectacles, put
them in the case, fold up the newspa
per, and settle himself, before he
would be ready to say, ‘ Good morning
Mrs. Smith.’
If he’s born a poppy, he could not be
more soporific. I wonder if all the
Smiths are like him ? When Adam
got tired of naming his numerous de-
said : 11 Let all the rest be
called Smith !’ Well, I don’t care for
that, but lie ought to have known bet
ter th;jn to call rr;y husband Abel
Smith. Do you suppose it I were a
man, I’d let a woman supprot me ‘l —
do you think Abel’s coats and
cravats, and canes and eigars comes
from ? Out of my brain ! It’s perfect
ly refreshing to nm to hear of a comet,
or see a locomotive, or to look at a
streak of lightning. I tell you he’s
the expressed essence of chloroform."
Tlie Model Minister.
He never exchanges. It is not particular
whether he occupies a fourstory house or
a ten-duo er lor a jmrsonage. Con
siders “ donation parties” an invention
of the adversary ; preaches round aud
round the commandments in such a way
as not to hit the peeuliaristics of any
of his parishioners. Selects the hymns
to suit the singing choir instead of him
self; never forgets when in excited de
bate, that pulpit cushiuns are expensive
articles. Visits all hispp-“ Ale\ le on^ e a
month, and receives-.*^ lr '’ iSltß w‘ieQ
ever they choc..- *® "A I *, > br ' Js
forth thins- "new anti old every Suo
day more particularly, new. Knows
p v ;,,>ottiou, at a funerel, the state of
mind of every distant relative of tho
deceased, an l always hits the right nail
on the head in \n< prayer. When ho
baptizes a girl, never afflicts the anxious
mother by pronouncing Louisa, LouU
zy ! Frowns upon Ml attempts to get
him u new cloak, looks upon “bronch
itis, throat complaint,” and “journeys to
Kurope,” as modern humbugs; never
wears a bettor coat than any of his pas
rishioners. Submits his private personal
expense to a committee of the greatest
dunder heads in his congregation ; has
the eloquence of Haul—the wisdom of
Solomon —the patience of Job—the
meekness of Moses—the constitution of
an efephant—and—hives on two hun
dred dollars a year !
How the family has grown ! Three
millions in 1771> —forty-four millions in
187 ti ! Uncle Sam will Lave to pnt an
othe- <I L” on pretty soon.
lii Advance.
NO. 24.
Kates of Advertising.
fsT* For each square of ten lines or less
for the first insertion, sl, and for each sub
sequent insertion, fifty cents.
No.Sq’rs | T Mo. j l* Mos. | 0 Mop j 1 year.
Two ~ ~sLdol tfT.Otn $ 12.00 ns-<7.6(>
Four “ 0.00 10.00 | 18.00 35.00
\ column 9. 15.00 25.00 40.0 C
t “ 15.00 25.00 40.00 05.00
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Sheriff s Sales, eacli 1evy..... f>4 00
Application for Homestead 2 30'
Notice to Debtors and Creditors 4 00
Land Sales, one square 4 00
Each additional square 3 00
“I Don’t Caro.”
Now, don’t say you don’t care, be*
cause you do. Fot who else tvould you
wear that shining knet of blue ribbon-*
the color he likes so well? and the very
little keepsake Of red coral that fairly
flutters upon that white muslin ?
If you do At care, hie away to moths
er’s room ; there is plenty to do there.
Your guitar stands neglected ; the white
pearl buttons, gems,]stud the glitter
ing foil in your neat work-basket, and
the patient bosom is waiting the aid of
your fairy fingers to sew them on. There
is the book with the leaf folded down
where you lefi off at dark. Farther sits
in his accustomed placed, very willing
to hear your voice, and sighing some
times when he thinks how soon it may
warble in another home.
But no ; you have been thinking of
father and mother for eighteen long
years, and love has let down gently be
fore them, the face, the night 1
“I eon’t care."
But yes, you do care. Taking quick
marches between the glass and window,
sitting down for a moment and playing
pettish music with your loot, springing
up with rosy blushes at every footstep,
(even at old black Cato’s) fancying’ it
may bo him ; does that look as if you
don’t care ? Rather questionable symp
toms.
“Should think he might come.’
So should I. lie ought to come ;ho
if he knew what a little le
ver of expectation you was in. Mould
perhaps fall right on his knees, though
if he does, reject him, for he can not
have a manly excuse.
Could he only see you now !
For there you staud looking so wisN
fully down towards that little white laU
tice gate, watching how
the moonbeams drink the crimson from
the rosea, Never heeding the low be
wildering music of the willow dulcimer*
or the floating sprays that fau the wild
flowers to sleep.
“I don’t care !”
Truly spoken that time.
The water of the river gleam" beyond
like a vesled mass of silver, and now and
then a transitory lustre flashes athwart
the Leavens. A star shoots. Quick !
the wish thrice repeated, as you watch it
falliug, that he may come soon.
Oh, how straige that the glories of
heaven and the beauties of the earth
should all be made subservient to that
young hear’t first love.
A shadow falls on the white path : a
tall, manly form stoops to the ol
the little gate. lie is coming—he has
come. And there you sit, looking so
unconcerned and proper, as if it was the
most natural thing in the world to ex
pect him just then.
The song that you“ couldn’t sing” for
father is repeated at his request. Ah !
naughty child naughty child ; but loving
woman, for all that.
The Debt to mother.
Mothers live for their children make
self-sacrifices for thorn, and manifest
their tenderness and love so freely that
the name, Mother, is the sweetest rname
in the human language. And yet sons,
youthful and aged, know but little of
the anxiety, nights of sleepless] and
painful solicitude which their, mother
have spent over their thoughtless way
wardness. Those]loving hearts go down
in their graves with those hours of se
cret agony untold. As the mother
watches by night, or prays in the pri
vacy of her closet, she weights well the
words which she will address her
son in order to lead him to a mannot
of honor and usefulness, She will not
tell him all her griefs fears
which beset her soul. She warns him
with trembling, lest she say overmorc.
She tries to charm him with cheery
love whilo her hearts is bleeding* No
worthy and successful man ever yet
knew the breadth and depth of the great
obligation which he is under to the uio
ther who guided his steps at the time
when his character for virtue and puri
ty was so narrowly balanced against a
course of vice and ignomhiy. Let the
dutiful son do his utmost to smootn hia
mother's pathway, let him obey as”ini
plicitly a3 ho can her wishes and advice,
him omit nothing that will contribute
to her peace, rest and happiness, and
yet he will part with her, -at the tomb
with his debt to her not discharged*
Clef, for Intemperance. — A morbid
appetite for strong drink is undoubtly
a difficult enemy even fur
to contend *.3v. Total abstinence)
and the Almighty arm are the two sure
helps to overcome and destroy it. Wo
give however, for what it may be worth,
the following, prescribed by an emineub
physician for John Vine Hall, comman
der of the Givat Eastern steamship, and
said to have been very useful in his case :
Sulphate of iron, five grains : magnesia,
peppermint water, eleven drams; spirit
of nutmeg, orre dram : twice a day.
es,” said he, dreamily, “we are al
ways striving for a subjective goal.—
Unconsciously, it may be, but still wo
strive. We loan over the verge of the
infinite longiug to grasp its mysteries,
and lost in the profundities of its immen
sity.“Yes,,’ she replied thoughtful
ly. “But, John, would you mind my
putting a brown patch on the seat of
these old black pants of yours
■■■ ♦
Tue Womans’ Journal advises girls
to take none but healthy husbands,
whereupon a bachelor editur suggest
that “they’d better take what they eau
get.''