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The Barb 5
Chattanooga Chatter
by Kathy
Greetings girls andguys!
Here we go agin with some
of the local chatter
Everything’s coming up
roses around here-and
roses, and roses and still
more roses-all from an un
known sender. I counted the
last batch and it numbered
26. Talk about a rose gar
den! Well, it’s easy to see
that somebody loves our
lovely bartender; and our
bartender loves our D.J.
cause she gave her one of
her roses.
You've seen the commer
cial, I’m sure that says
“You’ve come along way,
baby’’. Well, it is certainly
applies to one of our girls.
You guessed it-our own A-
drian Sanchez. Yep, we
really think that she’s one
of the best around. Lately,
it’s been noted that if she
gets any better we won’t
be able to stand it. She
;really is great, and we all
love her. So if you haven’t
seen this fascinating en
tertainer, you better come
see her Cause you don’t
know what you are mis
sing’’.
Speaking of entertainers,
our Saturday guest spot is
nothing but hot. The crowd
screams and applauds when
she is announced as the
lean and lanky, the sexy
Miss Candy Cane.
The Powder Puff ’s Unfits
are getting better all the
time. The Unfits include
the marvelous Misti Dawn,
the fantastic Adrian San
chez, the dynamic Lor
raine North, and the un
forgettable, Rah-Rah girl
of the South-Cheerleader.
The shows are getting big
ger and more diversified,
with more comedy and pro
duction numbers.
Well, I gotta for now,
but before I forget if you
need anything, just ask
Polly-it seems she’s got
everything hanging. Right,
Polly?
One more thing-the
thought for the month
comes from a certain chef
•here in town. She says
the 4-F’s are: Find them,
Fool them, F---them, and
forget them.
Think about it!
Advertise In The Barb !
Amazing Adventures
Of Super Fag
"The Succubus Horror" Vol. 1, Episode 3 (Final)
“Now, Prodigious
Pussy!” shouts the Pon
derous Pansy.
Quickly throwing back
her cloak, the Walloping
Warrior of Dykedomre
veals herself in her
famous costume consis
ting of the long red knit
ting tights, the patent
leather, combat boots,
and the, flat metal
breastplate on which is
inscribed: ‘ ‘^APPHO
SAYS, UP YOUR’S BUS
TER!” The Dauntless
Darling of Bulldom im
mediately '■ begins to
twirl the sperm smear
ed, garlic filled, gold
plated lead lined doube-'
bag about the head of the
drooling apparition.
“It’s working, Heroic
Hummer,” shouts the
Daring Dyke, continuing
to twirl the efficacious
douchebag.
The drooling apparit
ion stands transfixed
beneath it--its beady
eyes glazed, and its
cheeky jowls atremble.
“Great Balls of
Fleshy Wonder Lez!”
shouts Super Fag.
' ‘Keep it up. I’m about to
begin the priapean rite
of exorcism!”
Plucking from the
lemon chiffon sheath’s
bodice a small, ancient
book, the Quintessential
Queen, begins reading,
while swaying ryhthmi-
cally in aprimative, es
oteric manner. Chanting
a mixture of ancient
Greek and Latin, inter
spersed with what sound
like a muttering of the
daily oil stock averages,
the Herioc Hummer of
the Forces ofFagdomat
last cries out: “I exor
cise you in the name of
Priapus!”
The drooling ap
parition emits a weird
cry and shudders, but no
other visible change
takes place.
“Do it again!” cries
the Dauntless Dyke.
“You nearly had him
that time!”
Once again the Quin
tessential Queen begins
gyrating rhythmically
and chanting the potent
incantation. This time it
seems that he is inter
jecting not only an ap
peal to all occult forces,
but a little ditty from the
vulvic rites, also. At
last, holding on to his
lemon chiffon skirt, and
plucking the purple
cloche from his head,
the Fearless Faggot
shouts: “AND LET ME
MAKE ONE THING
PERFECTLY CLEAR--
in the name of Priapus,
I CAST YOU OUT!”
There is a blinding
flash of light, and a thun
derous roar. The room
is then filled with a
strange calm. The poor
person who had been
possessed by the evil
succubus remains stan
ding dazed in the middle
of the room. He is in a
trance.
“Great Onerous Ova
ries ! ’ ’ exclaims the
Walloping Warrior of
Dykedom to the Heroic
Hummer. “It worked! ■ ’
“Yes,” says the Pon
derous Pansy, “we did;
it! We’ve saved Down
trodden Gays from a new
rash of federal anti-gay
legislation for the time
being! Now all we have
to do is to open the door
downstairs and let him
wander back in his
trance to where he lives.
He’ll be all right, and
won’t know anything a-
bout what has hap
pened.”
Hurrying the stunned
person downstairs, the
Elegant Emancipators
of Downtrodden Gays let
him out. They see him
1 wander casually away.
Then rushing back to
the top, they pick up
their way back into the
phallus pink and lav
ender Gaymobile per
ched on the very top
of the monument.
As they wing away
from the capital, natu
rally, their mellow sol
emn mood is only short
lived, More immediate
concerns come to mind.
Peering down at the
sleeping capital, the
Dauntless Darling of
Dykedom remarks:
“Well, now I can get
back to my girl friend,
Hairy Hotlips!”
“Mercy!” exclaims
the Heroic Hummer.
“Here goes the Kama
Sutra all over again,
Dauntless Doe Woman!”
“Very funny,, you lit
tle ersatz Hellen of
Lively And Light ...
Peach Salad Delight
This peach salad is a sure-fire spring tempter.
Tempt your taste buds with a bit of spring. Peach Salad
Delight is lively and light, just the right kind of salad to give
you spring fever.
The delightful gelatin layer bubbles with the addition of
ginger ale, coconut, nuts and peaches. A luscious layer of cream
cheese plus Velvetized evaporated milk to keep it velvety goes
on top.
For more good recipe ideas order your copy of the EASY
DOES IT Cookbook for just $1.00. Send check, money order
or coin together with your name, address and zip code to:
EASY DOES IT Cookbook, Carnation Company, Box 50-R,
Pico Rivera, California 90660.
Peach Salad Delight
(Makes 6 to 8 servings)
1 package (3 ounces) orange
flavored gelatin V&
1 cup boiling water 1
1 cup ginger ale 1
cup small flaked coconut
x /i cup chopped nuts Vi
1 cup diced fresh or canned %
peaches
2 packages (3 ounces each) V£
softened cream cheese
cup sugar
teaspoon vanilla
tablespoon (1 envelope)
unflavored gelatine
cup cold water
cup undiluted Velvetized
evaporated milk
cup water
Dissolve orange gelatin in boiling water. Stir in ginger ale.
Cool to consistency of unbeaten egg whites. Stir in coconut, nuts
and peaches. Pour into 8 x 8 x 2-inch baking dish. Chill until
firm. Beat cream cheese and sugar until light and smooth.
Blend in vanilla. Soften gelatine in Vi cup cold water. Heat
evaporated milk, the V£ cup water and gelatine in saucepan
over low heat for 5 minutes or until gelatine dissolves (do not
boil). Beat evaporated milk mixture into cream cheese mixture.
Pour over peach layer. Chill until firm (2-3 hours). Cut into
squares. Serve with cream cheese layer on bottom.
Troy! ’ ’ retorts the Bull -
ish Boxlover. “You
know, Felicific Fellat-
ist, you’ve always re
minded me of her in a
way.”
“Really!” exclaims
the Quintessential
Queen delightedly .
“Why Helen of Troy had
the face that launched a
thousand ships!”
“Yeah,” says the
Mind Boggling Bull,
“And you’ve got the lips
that launched a thousand
sailors!”
The End
You Bet Your Sweet Ass We
Open On Sunday (Till 3 AM)
Powder Puff Lounge
28 East Main St.
Chattanooga, Tenn.
Cherice Nicole Heads An All Star Cast
With
Lorraine North Adrian Sanchez
Misti Dawn
Disc Jockey
Thursday Friday Saturday & Sunday
3 Sh ows Nightly
Friday Saturday & Sunday
Phone (615) 265-9190