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German U-boa! in the mid-Atlantic. Starring Matthew McConaughey, Bill Paxton, Jake Weber, Harvey Keitel and Jon Bon Jovi. (Mall) VIRGIN SUICIDES (R) Francis Ford Coppola's daughter Sofia's directorial debut is a drama/comedy set in mid- ‘70s Michigan about live luminous teens who conlront their sexuality and mortality. Based on the novel by Jeffrey Eugenide. Showing Wednesday, 7/19. (Georgia Theatre) THE X-MEN (PG-13) The live-action, big-screen adaptation of the popular comic book series tollows a pack of super heroes who have been outcasts since birth due to unique genetic muta tions They all have extraordinary powers that they learn to harness for the greater good Starring Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman. Ian McKellen. Halle Berry. Famke Janssen, James Marsden. Bruce Davison, Rebecca Romi|n- Stamos, Ray Park, and Anna Paquin Opens Friday. (Beechwood. Carmike) SCARED STIFF SCARY MOVIE (R) See Movie Pick. (Beechwood, Carmike. Commerce Drive-In) SHAFT (R) Samuel L. Jackson is a tough, smart mouthed New York detec tive in director John Singleton's stylish update on the 1971 "blaxploitation* classic. The film maintains a cool, gritty style similar to the original and touches on serious social issues. However, it loses its balance somewhat along the way and almost stumbles over its numerous implausibilities and over- the-top violence The story mostly lol- lows the wide-eyed, goateed detective as he investigates a brutal, racially- motivated murder, keeps labs on the kilier and contronts the unfairness entrenchea in the justice system. Jackson delivers a surprisingly smooth performance, even if his bug-eyed ‘bad mutha* delivery is starting to look a bit stale. With Christian Bale, Jeffrey Wright, Toni Collette. Busta Rhymes. Vanessa Williams, Dan Hedaya and Lee Tergesen. Featuring music from Isaac Hayes. (Beechwood, Carmike. Commerce Drive-In) STUART LITTLE (PG) A silly and peculiar fairy tale’ about a flapper white mouse (voiced by Michael J. Fox) who gets adopted by i strangely naive family. Showing Tuesday, 7/18. (Beechwood) 28 DAYS (PG-13) Sandra Bullock plays a hard-drinking party girl who gets sentenced to 28 days al a drug and alcohol rehab center in this lightweight drama. The film tries to examine spe cific peculiarities of addiction, denial and dependency while maintaining an exaggerated ‘cute’ vibe. Ends Thursday. (Mall) U-571 (PG-13) Well-photographed, but overly bombastic. Jonathan Mostow's (Breakdown) submarine ‘suspense drama" follows a WWII Navy crew as it carries out a dangerous, top- secret mission to seize a secret Enigma deciphering machine from a disabled SCARY MOVIE (R) Wacky funnyman Keenen Ivory Wayans (TV's "In Living Color") and his zany cohorts have assembled an enjoyable and disgusting "bad" movie while simultaneously launching a satirical attack on some of the catch phrases and cliches of recent American cinema. Scary Movie spoofs slasher and teen horror films as well as and box office smashdom. Directing from a weird script written by his brothers Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans and sev eral others, Keenen Ivory Wayans all but aban dons any semblance of a plot line and keeps the action bumping along with a relentless string of gags. At the onset of every setup, mildly atten tive viewers will easily predict the forthcoming punchlines at every turn. True moviegoers— those who try to catch everything in the multi plexes every weekend—will get every joke and one liner. Loyal fans of Kevin Williamson, the screenwriter of Scream and co-inventor oi the self-aware slasher subgenre, will be appalled. Most of the comedy is raucous and nasty, but unfortunately not every gag works. It's a hit-or- miss affair throughout. The so-called "gross-out humor" surpasses that of American Pie, There's Something About Mary and the recent Me, Myself & Irene. Genitalia, reefer, prison sex, pubic hair, flatulence, fellatio and snot: hall hah, right? No? Then stay home. The characters are mostly designed to encom pass the lowest common denominator of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer episodes ("In the movie we'd be played by actors in thpir late 20's and early 30's," a character announces in one of the clever "self aware" scenes.) The vil lain is a robed, masked, knife-wielding madman. "Baywatch" babe Carmen Electra trots around in her skivvies as the film's first victim. Drew. Newcomer Anna Faris leads the cast as the snow- white Neve Campbell/Jennifer Love Hewitt char acter Cindy Campbell. Jon Abrahams (Outside Pro'.ndence) plays the frustrated boyfriend/murder suspect. Dave Sheridan (of MTVs "Buzzkill") annihilates David Arquette's boneheaded character in the role of Officer Doofy. The horribly sexy Shannon Elizabeth (the "Czech" bombshell out of American Pie) is the arrogant, self-involved Buffy. "Saturday Night Live" star Cheri Oteri sends up the Courteney Cox Arquette character as the ambitious TV reporter Gail Hailstorm. Three Wayans brothers join in onscreen, too: Shawn Wayans is a closeted quarterback with a rear end fetish who makes his girlfriend (Regina King) wear football gear while they fool around; Marlon Wayans is a toothy, goofy stoner who knows all the words to that ridiculous "Whassssup?!" Budweiser commercial; and Keenen Ivory appears briefly in a terrific phony trailer for Amistad II. Scary Movie works as a low-brow comedy for college lads and dropouts. There are some big laughs and more than a few groans and moans. The pace is quick. The cameos come and go. The sex and violence a re cartoonish. The movie sends up films that already looked like spoofs of '80s slasher and honor flicks. And it's so yucky! While it's great to see creative young filmmakers continuing the tradition of pop-culture satire, one wonders why the race for the ‘Most Nausealing" award has become so intense. Ballard Lesemann J! 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