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ARTHUR (PG-13) Let's face it. A
large chunk of today’s movie watchers,
largely the ones who make up British
comic Russell Brand's fanbase. don't
know who Arthur Bach. Dudley Moore
or Sir John Gielgud are. and they
probably only know Christopher Cross'
Oscar-winning song ’Arthur's Theme
(Best That You Can Do)’ in passing.
For those unfortunates, the new Arthur
will serve its disposable, comedic pur
pose. Laugh today, forgotten tomorrow
Brand plays the drunken near billion
aire as a man-child, emphasis on child
as he barely varies his whiny. high-
pitched delivery. Helen Mirren is an
above adequate stand-in for Gielgud,
who won an Academy Award, but that
is all she is. Let's face it. Anyone still
harboring nostalgic notions of Moore's
comic genius, Gielgud’s withering
stentorian putdowns and Cross' cheesy,
lovable Yacht Rock anthem need merely
watch the original via Netllix's Instant
Queue and skip this remake. It's not as
if anyone will still be watching Brand's
version 30 years later Yet a 60-year
anniversary release of the 1981 classic
will not be out of the question.
BEASTLY (PG-13) A literal modem
day fairy tale. Beastly stars I Am
Number Foul's Alex Pettyfer (how did
this guy escape The CW for the big
screen?) as vain, misunderstood, rich
boy, Kyle. When Kyle runs afoul of a
witch (Mary-Kate Olsen) at his ridicu
lously posh private high school, she
turns him into a hideously scarred and
tattooed ‘monster’ with a year to find
someone who'll love him.
BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER,
LIKE SON (PG -13) FBI agent Malcolm
Turner (Martin Lawrence) dons his fat
suit again in the third (now can that
be?) entry in the Big Momma's House
francnise. Now both Big Momma and
Charmaine AKA Trent (Brandon T.
Jackson) must infiltrate an all girls
performing arts school to catch a mur
derer. Faizon Love plays Kurtis Kool.
former Run-D M C. roadie and present
school security guard that becomes
smitten with Big Momma.
CEDAR RAPIDS (R) A small town
lifer. Tim Lippe (Ed Helms), is sent
to the annual insurance conference
in the big city ol Cedar Rapids, IA.
where he learns the ropes from some
convention veterans, led by John C.
Reilly. Hopefully. Miguel Arteta can
recover from the disappointing, but
funny Youth in Revolt. The best gag
given a way in the trailer involves Isiah
Whitlock, better known to “Wire’ fans
as Clay *Shee-it* Davis, getting in a
■Wire’ reference. With Anne Heche,
Stephen Root, Kurtwood Smith. Alia
Shawkat. Rob Corddry and Sigourney
W'Tver.
CONSPIRATOR (PG-13) Robert
Redford directs the story of Mary
Surratt (Robin Wright), the lone female
conspirator charged in the assas
sination uf 16th President Abraham
Lincoln James McAvoy plays the
reluctant lawyer who must defend a
woman vilified by a large swath, though
not the whole, ol the recovering nation.
With Redford and this cast, also includ
ing Tom Wilkinson, Alexis Bledel,
Justin Long, Evan Rachel Wood, Danny
Huston, Stephen Root and Kevin Kline,
it's hard to believe Conspirator could
look so TV movie-ish. but the trailer
proves otherwise.
DIARY OF A WIMPY KID:
RODRICK RULES (PG) I really
enjoyed the first Diary of a Wimpy Kid
movie, and its sequel, Rodrick Rules,
is no different Middle schooler Greg
Heflley (Zachary Gordon, who could be
a lost Savage brother) must contend
with brotherly abuse from his mean
older sibling, Rodrick (Devon Bostick).
Adding to Greg's middle school misery
is the return of Chirag Gupta (Karan
Brar) and an unrequited crush on Holly
Hills (Peyton List). Fortunately, Greg
still has best bud. Rowley (Robert
Capron). by his side. I.
ORIVE ANGRY (R; The plot is
textbook 70s exploitation. A venge
ful lather. John Milton (the not angry
enough Nicolas Cage), escapes from
Hell to save his granddaughter from the
cult leader (Billy Burke) who murdered
his daughter I get all gooey inside just
typing that synopsis. Along the way,
Milton picks up a pretty short-order
waitress (Amber Heard), reunites with
an old pal (David Morse) and kills a lot
of evil cult members Hot on his trail
are a bounty hunter from Hell named
The Accountant (William Fichtner) and
not nearly enough state troopers, led
by Tom Atkins.
HANNA (PG-13) See Movie Pick.
HENRY'S CRIME (R) Guess who's
back? Keanu. Henry (Keanu Reeves)
is released from prison for a crime he
didn't commiL What's the first thing
the Iree man does? Targetthe bank he
went away for not robbing. This com
edy from Malcolm Venville (44 Inch
Chest) and writers Sacha Gervasi (The
Terminal and David White (Undisputed
Hand Ilf) also stars Vera Farmiga. Judy
Greer. James Caan. Peter Stormare and
Fisher ’You may know me from Shori
Circuit and its terrible sequel’ Stevens.
HOP (PG) I’m still a sucker or a grand
holiday fantasy factory sequence, and
Hop opens with a spectacular one.
detailing how all the marshmallow
chicks and hollow chocolate bunnies
are produced. Unfortunately, the family
film goes creatively downhill from that
high point. While the old Easter Bunny
(v Hugh Laurie) prepares to hand the
holiday icon reins over to his son.
E.B. (v. Russell Brand), the younger
bunny runs away to Hollywood to be a
drummer in a ror* and roll band. There
he meets stacker Fred O'Hare (James
Marsden), whose life apparently peaked
20 years ago, when he saw the Easter
Bunny. The one slightly surprising
twist in this whole tale—Fred becomes
the first human Easter Bunny—is given
away at the beginning of the movie.
INSIDIOUS (PG-13) A family (headed
by Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne)
suspect their home is haunted, only
to discover it is actually their bedrid
den, comatose son who is the target
ol some frightful, malevolent spirits
According to the marketing campaign
for this Iwjrror superstar team-up ol
the creators of Saw—director James
Wan and writer Leigh Whannel—and
Paranormal Activity—Oren Peli, a
simple producer here—'Insidious
is Insidious is Insidious is...Yoo
get the point I shall now clarify what
Insidious is. Be sure to read the follow
ing in your best scary voice Insidious
is... a spinetinglingly scary, haunted
house movie in the (Robert) wise, old-
fashioned (i.e, no blcod/gore) way.
THE KING'S SPEECH (R) After the
death ol his father, George V (Michael
Gambon), and the shocking abdica
tion of his older brother, Edward VIII
(Guy Pearce). new King George VI, aka
Bertie (newly minted Academy Award
winner Colin Firth), must overcome a
lifelong speech impediment to deliver
a rousing message upon the outbreak
of World War II. The King's Speech is
one ol the year's most humorous, albeit
delivered with a stiff British carriage,
and tremendously well-acted (kudos to
Firth. Rush and Helena Bonham Carter
as Bertiels loyal wife and queen) films.
LIMITLESS (PG-13) Limitless, line
new film Iron Illusionist director
Neil Burger, is pretty much about star
Bradley Cooper’s career. He goes from
being *Alias”s Will Tippin to ’The
A-Team's’ Face in the course of two
hours. Writer Eddie Morra stumbles
upon a designer drug that opens up the
limitless potential of the human brain.
Soon. Eddie is making millions from
the stock market and drawing the atten
tion of a Wall Street bigwig (Robert De
Niro) But with all shortcuts, a catch
comes in the drugs habit-forming,
deadly s>de effects. Still, who wouldn't
want to be the very best they could
be il all it cost was $600 a pill and an
18-hour blaclxout here or there, during
which you may or may not commit
murder. Nicely adapted from the Allan
Glynn novel by Leslie Dixon—I do
wish she'd found a better means to
convey the story than voiceover—
and stylishly directed by Burger (the
cinematic world looks better, brighter
when Eddie's on NZT). Limitless needs
a better advertising campaign. It's a lot
better than you think it's going to be.
THE LINCOLN LAWYER (R) The
Lincoln Lawyer seems like the next
great drama Irom TNT. Matthew
McConaughey would make many a
dreary summer weeknight fly by as
slick attorney Mickey Haller, who does
business out of the backseat of his
roomy town car. As a movie, this legal
thriller says all the right things in all
the right ways. Too bad courtroom
dramas are a dime a dozen on TV. Why
pay exorbitant movie theater ticket
prices when you can get the exact
story in an hour on ‘Law & Order:
NCIS: Las Vegas?’ True, you'll have
to settle for Chris O'Donnell rather
than McConaughey. but Ryan Philippe
might guest-star as a pretty boy on trial
for beating women. You know the exact
ride you're in for as you soon as you
climb in the Lincoln's roomy backseat
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
(R) Alter finding two million dollars.
Llewelyn Moss (Babs' stepson Josh
Brolfn) is hunted by ruthless, Hulk
haired killer, Anton Chigurh (Academy
Award winner Javier Bardem who plays
the milk-chugging sociopath as more
bogeyman than hitman), with only
weary lawman, Ed Tom Bell (Tommy
Lee Jones), to protect him. After Fargo,
the Coen Brothers seemed to bog down
in entertaining structural exercises (0
Brother, Where Art Thou?, The Man
Who Wasn't There) and Hip comedies ■
(The Big Lebowski, Intolerable Cruelty.
The Ladykillers). With No Country, the
fraternal filmmakers defeat irrelevance
with the sharpness of their moviemak
ing tools, the adroitness of their writing
and the perfectly complementary acting
troupe.
OF GODS AND MEN (R) In a Muslim
community in North Africa, eight
French Christian monks (including
Lambert Wiison from the latter two
Matrixs and Michael Lonsdale aka
Moonrakets Hugo Drax) must decide
whether to flee in the face of advanc
ing fundamentalist terrorists. France's
oflicial entry for the 2010 Best Foreign
Language Oscar didn't make the
final cut. Some of filmmaker Xavier
Beauvois’ previous lilms were Cannes
Award winner Donl Forget You're
Going to Die and Cesar nominees Le
Petit Lieutenant and Nord.
PAUL (R) I had high hopes lor Paul.
Written by and starring Simon Pegg
and Nick Frost and directed by Greg
Mottota (Superbadand Adventureland).
this road trip comedy should have
been the alien homage equivalent of
Pegg and Edgar Wright's Shaun otthe
Dead/Hot Fuzz. Maybe Wright's guid
ing hand as director and cowriter was
more important than believed because
Paul is nowhere near as smart or funny
as those two genre love letters. Paul
is by no means a bad movie, just a
disappointing one. Two British geeks.
Graham and Clive (Pegg and Frost),
run into an on the lam extraterrestrial
named Paul and voiced by Seth Rogen.
PRETTY BIRD (R) 2008 From his
days with David Gordon Green to his
stint on ’Parks and Recreation,* I've
grown quite fond of Paul Schneider.
In his directing debut, Schneider, who
also cowrote the screenplay, guides the
comic tale of three would-be inventors
of a rocket belt, whose dream turns into
a nightmare of recriminations, kionap-
ping and murder. The impressive cast
includes Billy Crudup, Paul GiamaJii
and Kristen Wiig. Schneider was nomi
nated for the Sundance Film Festival^
Grand Jury Prize.
RANGO (PG) Boasting a cule trailer,
this animated feature from Pirates ol
the Caribbean director Gore Verbinski
stars his lead pirate. Johnny Depp, as
the voice of a chameleon that wants to
be a gunslinging hero. Rango must put
his skills, il he has any. to the test to
protect a Western town from bandits.
RIO (PG) A domesticated macaw
from Minnesota named Blu (v. Jesse
Eisenberg) meets the bird ol his
dreams, miss independent Jewel
(v. Anne Hathaway). Together they
fly away to Rio de Janeiro. Director
Carlos Saldanha leaves the Ice Age
behind after three blockbusters to fly
south where it’s warmer. Screenwriter
Don Rhymer is responsible for Big
MommaS House (and its sequel) and
the surprising SurPs Up
THE ROOMMATE (PG-13) Sure The
Roommate is a Single White Female
rip-off. but moving the psychotic
action to freshman year of college
was a brilliant move. Too bad that’s
where any brilliance the movie could
have achieved ends thanks to the poor
scripting prowess of first-time writer
Sonny Mai I hi (producer of genre efforts
both successful. The Strangers, and
not. Shutter and Possession).
SCREAM 4 (R) On a book tour for her
self-help bestseller, serial killer survi
vor Sydney Prescott (Neve Campbell)
leturns to Woodsboro where she
reconnects with friends, family and the
Ghostface Killer him/herself. Courteney
Cox and David Arquette reprise their
roles as Sydney's fellow survivors.
TV newswoman Gale Weathers-Riley
and Deputy Dewey Riley. The return of
director Wes Craven and screenwriter
Kevin Williamson, who skipped out on
the third installment, have me excited
for this horror four-qual.
SOMEWHERE (R) Bad boy actor
Johnrty Marco (Stephen Dorff. who has
some real life experience to draw from),
rxking the Hollywood lifestyle pretty
hard at the Chateau Marmont, is visited
by his daughter (Elle Fanning. Dakota's
little sister). Oscar winner Sofia
Coppola's new lilm won the Golden
Lion, the top prize at the Venice Film
Festival. Expect a typical Sofia Coppola
cinematic experience whether or not
you iike it. With Michelle Monaghan
(Eagle Eye) and Laura Ramsey (The
Ruins).
SOUL SURFER (PG) The sec
ond release from new distributor
FilmDistrict. Soul Sutler is based
on the true story ol teenaged surfer
Bethany Hamilton (AnnaSophia
Robb), who lost her arm but not her
desire to hang ten to a shark attack.
A ludicrously buff Dennis Guaid
and Helen Hunt appear as Bethany's
father and mother. Writer-director
Sean McNamara has a long history of
Nickelodeon/Disney TV movies and
shows as wel I as the features Raise
Your Voice and Bratz.
SOURCE CODE (PG-13) Duncan
Jones, the son ol David Bowie, tones
down some ol his ad house-ier inclina
tions lor Source Code, a thrilling sci-fi/
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Pretty Bird (R) 7 (Th. 4/14)
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VI?)
The King's Speech (R) 4:30 (W. 4/13 & Th. 4/14), 7:15 (W. 4/13),
4:45. 7:15 (starts F. 4/15), 2:15 (Sa. 4/16 & Su. 4/17)
Of Gods and Men (R) 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 (starts F. 4/15) (no 9:30 show
Su. 4/17)
The Room (R) 12:00 (F. 4/15)
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The Way Back (PG-13) 4:15, 7:00 (W. 4/13 & Th. 4/14)
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UGA TATE CENTER THEATER (706-542-6396)
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Accurate movie times for the CARMINE 12 (706-354-0016),
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18 FLAGPOLE.COM APRIL 13,2011
action movie starring Jake Gyllenhaal
as a soldier, Colter Stevens, enlists
in an experimental operation to travel
back in time for eight minutes and
uncover the mastermind of a terrorist
attack on a Chicago commuter train.
If he doesn't, a dirty bomb will level
downtown Chicago.
SUCKER PUNCH (PG-13) In an alter
nate 1960s, a girl (Emily Browning)
loses her mother and. after a violent
rampage, is institutionalized by her
creepy stepfather Baby Doll, as she
comes to be known, is scheduled for
a lobotomy in five days. To escape her
fate, she runs to an alternate reality
inside her head, where she and a few
of the other girls must battle German
zombies, ores, giant samurai, dragons,
etc. It's like the end of Ghostbusters.
and whatever Snyder thinks of comes
to life for the girls to fight.
TANGLED (PG) Disney's 50th ani
mated feature entertains like some of
the besHhe House of Mouse has ever
offerei® n you imagine how magical
this fairy tale could have been had it
been traditionally animated and simply
titled RapunzeP
TRUE GRIT (PG-13) After the kill
ing ol her paw. young Mattie Ross
(newcomer Hallie Sleinfeld) intends
to gel her revenge so she hires U S.
Marshal Reuben ’Rooster* Cogburn
(Jeff Bridges, who is just getting bet
ter with age) to go alter the sumbitch
named Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin).
Joined by dandy Texas Ranger LeBoeuf
(Matt Damon). Mattie and Rooster
track Chaney beyond civilization
and into Cherokee country Author
Charles PortisS simple tale of Wild
West revenge could not be brought
back to the big screen with more
intricately written word play and vibrant
characterizations.
UNKNOWN (PG-13) LiamNeeson
continues his mid-career ersis with
another Takerhlype vehicle. What starts
as a frightening, lonely thriller loses
steam before the. thriller's big reveal,
which is telegraphed a bit by the pres
ence of certain supporting characters,
and totally blows the ending, which
could have been tremendously interest
ing had Martin behaved character-
appropriately. Unknown is no Taken
THE WAY BACK (PG-13) Another
POW escape flick a la The Great Escape
and Rescue Dawn. The Way Back
chronicles the efforts of several sol
diers. led by the young (Jim Sturgess.
21) to break out of a gulag in Soviet-
occupied Poland. The six companions
then trek across Asia to hoped-for
safety in India
YOUR HIGHNESS (R) Wow Talk
about a misfire. Writing a movie about
being stoned is one thing; writing a
movie while stoned a quite sad other.
Everyone in this talented cast and crew-
must have signed on based on the
admittedly awesome idea and a sense
of friendship because the script, by star
Danny McBride and Ben Best, may be
one of the yearns least-baked Heroic
Prince Fabious (James Franco, whose
stunningly deadpan performance
rescues many a scene in distress) and
his smug brother, Prince Thadeous
(McBride), embark on a quest to save
Fabious' betrothed (Zooey Deschane')
from the evil wizard Leezar (Justin
Thefoux). Right now, I'm sure you're
with me. thinking how fantastic this
movie's going to be A sword and
sorcery Sarce from the ’Eastbound
& Down’/ Pineapple Express guys!
Natalie Portman models a metal thong!
Alas, ye excitement ends there. The
movie is less funny than some of David
Gordon Green's uttra-somber indie dra
mas (lest you forget this guy was the IT
indie filmmaker at one time). Insert lazy
conclusion playing off title (something
something something more like your
career lowness).
Drew Wheeler
