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Some releases may not be showing locally this week.
THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU (PG-
13) The trailers do nothing lor the cut
of this latest Philip K. Dick adaptation
Matt Damon and Emily Blunt play star-
crossed lovers, David and Elise. being
kept apart by the Adjustment Bureau,
who resemble a team of Mad Men
in suits and hats (one is even played
by “Mad Men's silver-haired, silver-
tongued John Slattery). These angels
as pencil pushers and bureaucrats
make sure The Plan, as envisioned by
The Chairman (one of many names for
the man upstairs), is adhered to. The
love affair between David and Elise is
not part of the plan, and the Bureau
will stop at nothing, even sending in
their heavy hitter (Terence Stamp), to
ensure the couple does not end up
together. Writer-director George Nolfi
meshes romance and sci-fi with more
coolly intricate success than you would
suspect. Damon and Blunt generate
surprisingly easy chemistry, and the
men in hats idea works well thanks to
Slattery. Stamp and The Huh Locked
undervalued Anthony Mackie. A new
score from Thomas Newman and gor
geous urban cinematography from
Oscar winner John Toll merely ice this
romantic cake. The Adjustment Bureau
is one of the better films of young
2011.
ATLAS SHRUGGED: PART ONE
(PG-13) Ayn Rand would be the one
shrugging were she able to see the
low quality of creative talent brought
together to bring her magnum opus of
Objectivism to the big screen Unless
the producers have some mighty deep
pockets, ihs highly doubtful this piece
of cinematic soap (opera) scum will
make enough money to pay for its
promised second and third parts. The
central mystery of Rand's novel kept
me awake long after any other film this
boring, poorly acted/written/directed/
scored would have sent me dreaming.
“Who is John Galt?* asks the man on
the street in the dystopian United States
of 2016 to Randls heroes of 'ethical
egoism’ or ‘rational selfishness.’
wealthy industrialists Dagny Taggart
(some robotic unknown named Taylor
Schilling) and Hank Rearden (Grant
Bowler, almost good enough to pull it
off), as they fight the evil socialists in
Washington. The filmmakers smartly
chopped this massive, nigh-unfilmable
novel into the book’s three parts, but
this film is no better than television
quality. To deprive audiences of their
hard-earned money for an inferior
product sure seems anti-Randian. Also,
how does the struggle of a bunch of
rich white people strike a chord with
the majority of small town Tea Partiers?
BATTLE: LOS ANGELES (PG-13)
I still don't quite get how Battle: Los
.Angeles was inspired by true events.
In February 1942, over 1,400 rounds
of anti-aircraft ammunition were
unleashed over the skies of L.A., at
what was thought to be Japanese
aircraft. This real-life event somehow
led to this science fiction/war movie
about the battle fought over Los
Angeles during an alien invasion. A
group of mixed military personnel (led
by Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez
and Ne-Yo) try to get back to the FOB
(Forward Operating Base) before
bombs are dropped that will hopefully
wipe out the invading extraterrestri
als. Many of the supporting military
cast die. mowed down during shaky
cam gunfights with aliens inspired
by District 9. Battle: LA offers noth
ing new to either the war or science
fiction genres it mashes together, but
the action movie manages to engage
for its near-two-hour running time
without being particularly interesting or
entertaining. Strangely, this needlessly
cacophonous, visually unintelligible
movie is better during its quiet, still
moments as opposed to its textbook
sacrifices and acts of cowboy bravado.
BEASTLY (PG-13) A literal modem
day fairy tale, Beastly stars I Am
Number Foul’s Alex Pettyfer (how did
this guy escape The CW for the big
screen?) as vain, misunderstood, rich
boy, Kyle. When Kyle runs afoul of a
witch (Mary-Kate Olsen) at his ridicu
lously posh private high school, she
turns him into a hideously scarred and
tattooed “monster’ with a year to find
someone who’ll love him. Of course, he
chooses scholarship girl with a drug
addict dad. Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens).
The unforgivably unlikely setup for
this limp take on Beauty and the Beast
requires Lindy to be sequestered in
Kyle's hideaway due to a threat against
her life. Beastly is all pretty much bland
teen romance and drama.
BRIDESMAIDS (R) Annie (the indis-
pensible Kristen Wiig, who also cow
rote the script with Annie Mumolo) gets
more than she bargained for as Maid
of Honor for her friend Lillian's (Maya
Rudolph) wedding. No Bride Wars
jokes, please. This female-centered
comedy comes from a producing Judd
Apatow and ‘Freaks and Geeks’ creator
Paul Feig. directing his first feature
since 2006 s Unaccompanied Minors.
With Rose Byrne. Melissa McCarthy,
Jon Hamm and Jill Clayburgh, in her
final appearance before dying in 2010
from leukemia.
DIARY OF A WIMPY KID:
RODRICK RULES (PG) I really
enjoyed the first Diary of a Wimpy Kid
movie, and its sequel, Rcdrick Rules,
is no different. Middle schooler Greg
Heffley (Zachary Gordon, who could be
a lost Savage brother) must contend
with brotherly abuse from his mean
older sibling, Rodrick (Devon Bostick).
Adding to Greg's middle school misery
is the return of Chirag Gupta (Karan
Brar) and an unrequited crush on Holly
Hills (Peyton List). Fortunately, Greg
still has best bud, Rowley (Robert
Capron), by his side. ILs a tribute to
Jeff Kinney's fantastic series of books
and a terrific ensemble of actors, both
child and adult, that a kiddie franchise
could be this funny. If they can keep
the quality up, I'd love see all Kinney’s
Wimpy Kid books turned into movies.
DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT
(PG-13) Wearing a red shirt black
jacket and jeans, private detective
Dylan Dog (former Superman^fandon
Routh) investigates the supernatural
in New Orleans and the surrounding
Louisiana bayou. Now he must find
a trinket to stop a war between the
vampires, werewolves and zombies
who hire him. Director Kevin Munroe
last helmed the animated TMNT
feature. Apparently. Dylan Dog is a
popular Italian horror comic. With Sam
Huntington (Jimmy Olsen to Routh's
Superman), Peter Stormare, Taye Diggs
and Anita Briem.
EVERYTHING MUST GO (R)Will
Ferrell goes indie again as Nick
Halsey, who loses his job and wife
but rediscovers his life by selling all
his worldly possessions from his
front lawn. Luckily. Rebecca Hall (who
doesn't love her at the moment?) and
Notorious B.I.G.'s son, Christopher
Jordan Wallace, play his helpful neigh
bors. Based on a Raymond Carver
short story, Everything Must Go is
the directing and writing debut of Dan
Rush. With Michael Pena, Laura Dern,
Stephen Root and ‘It’s Always Sunny in
Philadelphia's Glenn Howerton.
FAST FIVE (PG-13) As the'plot'
goes. Dorn (Vin Diesel), Brian (Paul
Walker) and DomS sister/ Brians
squeeze, Mia (Jordana Brewster), are
on the lam after a daring, non-tatal
prison break. In Rio, the trio runs afoul
of super drug lord. Reyes (Joaquim
de Almeida, doing what Joaquim de
Almeida does best, intimidate in a
bespoke suit). They also have to outwit
federal bounty hunter Hobbs (a more
gigantic than usual Dwayne Johnson).
Other stuff goes on to set up the
*Ocean's 11 on wheels’ heist that cre
ates the climax.
THE GIRL BY THE LAKE (NR) 2007.
The body of a young girl is found near
an alpine lake in northern Italy. Sanzio
(Toni Servillo). a detective from the
nearby city, is called on to investigate,
but nearing retirement and with an
ill wife, ne has problems of his own.
Nominated for a staggering 15 Davids,
the film won 10. including Best Film,
Best Actor (Servillo), Best Director
(Andrea Molaioli), Best New Director
and Best Screenplay.
GNOMEO& JULIET (G) This
backyard version of Romeo and Juliet
definitely succeeds in its cuteness
quotient The two battling terracotta
clans, the Reds and the Blues, contain
enough distinctive-looking members.
Too bad the movie doesnl do a better
job establishing this colorful retinue
beyond a montage of here and there.
Instead, we focus on the blossoming
romance between star-crossed lovers.
Gnomeo (v. James McAvoy), son of
Lady Blueberry (v. Maggie Smith), and
Juliet (v. Emily Blunt), beloved daugh
ter of Lord Redbrick (v. Michael Caine).
In between ceramic smooches are
lawnmower races against red baddie,
Tybalt (v. Jason Statham), and the silly
machinations of a loopy pink flamingo
(v. Jim Cummings) from an abandoned
garden next door.
HOODWINKED TOO! HOOD VS.
EVIL (PG) As noted in this magazinels
very pages, I really enjoyed the original
Hoodwinked. I even own the DVD and
the soundtrack. Yet I had no interest
in seeing a sequel to that tiny, creative
animated jewel, and Hoodwinked Too!
Hood VS Evil is every reason why.
Lazy riffs on Scarf ace and Goodfellas
are recycled again (Who's the audi
ence for this movie anyway? Kids who
don't get the jokes or adults who don't
think they're funny anymore?): the
voice casting is little more than poorly
thought out stunts (Cheech and Chong
as two of the three little pigs?); the rest
of the vcice actors seem bored. Even
the unimpressive 3D conversion is a
late addition. Had Hoodwinked Too!
simply been released straight to DVD,
no one would have been the wiser, and
the movie could have saved itself the
critical emoarrassment. I doubt the
producers will make back their extraor
dinary marketing expenditure.
I AM NUMBER FOUR (PG-13) I Am
Number Four feels like a feafure film
pilot for a new CW series to replace
“Smallville,’ whose creators, Alfred
Gough and Miles Millar (with help from
•“Buffy“’s Marti Noxon), happen to have
written Number Foufs script. A power
ful orphaned alien, John AKA Number
Four (stone-jawed Alex Pettyfer), is
on the run from extraterrestrial hunt
ers. With his guardian Henri (Timothy
Olyphant; are you watching him on
'Justified?' If not. you should be),
John moves to Paradise, Ohio, where
he meets a girl (Dianna Agron, better
known as Quinn from “Glee") and a
new pal (Callan McAuliffe). Just when
he feels like he’s found a home, the
alien hunters (led by the versatile vil
lain Kevin Durand) arrive. Fortunately,
so does another powerful teen-lien,
Number Six (Teresa Palmer). (The
numbers are the order in which these
X-Terrestrials must be killed.) Mixing
Superman and the X-Men with a tinge
of Twilight, I Am Number Four, based
on a bestselling book series cowritten
under a pseudonym by James Frey
(yes. THAT James Frey), probably
will not reach the franchise heights to
which it aspires. It would make a kick-
ass CW show though.
JANE EYRE (PG-13) Charlotte
Bronte’s classic novel (just ask any
high schooler) is brought to the big
screen yet again, this time by an
intriguing filmmaker, Sin Nombres
Cary Fukunaga. The titular, mousy gov
erness (Mia Wasikowska, who is every^
where right now) falls for her employer,
Mr. Rochester (Michael Fassbender),
only to dislfover he harbors a horrible
secret. Screenwriter Moira Buffini also
wrote last year's ‘Tamara Drewe.’ With
Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot}, Imogen Poots
(Solitary Man), Sally Hawkins (Happy-
Go-Lucky) and Dame Judi Dench.
JUMPING THE BROOM (PG-13)
Jumping the Broom has all the familial
melodrama of a Tyler Perry production
without Madea’s tonal aggression.
When uptown girl Sabrina (Paula
Patton) meets downtown boy Jason
(Laz Alonso), they quickly get engaged.
The wedding on Martha's Vineyard
highlights the divide between the two
families, led by tough-verging-on-
unlikable matgarchs played by Angela
Bassett and Loretta Devine. In his first
feature, veteran television director
Salim Akil (‘Girlfriends,’ “The Game’)
shows a better understanding of
cinematic conventions than Perry did
in his 10th. Jumping the Broom isn't
much more than a made-for-TV movie
writ large, but the family dramedy goes
down smoothly thanks to an appealing
cast and a stolid behind-the-camera
foundation.
MADEA’S BIG HAPPY FAMILY (PG-
13) Having written, directed, produced
and/or starred in 11 movies since
2005, Tyler Perry has become predict
able. The broad, slapstick antics of
mad matriarch Madea (Perry) are jar
ringly meshed with a faith-based melo
dramatic family drama. The family in
Perry's newest movie belongs to sweet
Shirley (Loretta Devine), who is dying
of cancer. Not that her awful brood
seems to care Baby Byron (Shad “Bow
Wow" Moss) is caught between two, to
quote Aunt Bam (Cassi Davis, wiio has
more fun than anyone that$ not Perry),
*hos,’ both of whom want him to start
slinging dope again. Shirley’s two
daughters are venomous, angry women
trapped in loveless, at least from their
viewpoint, marriages.
PRIEST (PG-13) After the not-so-
swell (nice way of saying crappy)
Legion, director Scott Stewart and
star Paul Bettany reunite for another
doomsday-ish, supernatural action
thriller. In a postapocalyptic world, a
priest (Bettany), assisted by a young
sheriff and a warrior priestess, tracks
down the vamps who kidnapped his
niece. The movie is based on the
manhwa (Korean comic) by Min-
Woo Hyung. With Cam Gigandet,
Maggie Q (CWs “Nikita"), Karl Urban.
“True Blood”s Stephen Moyer and
Christopher Plummer.
PROM (PG) Prom isn't a movie made
for anyone who has actually ever
been to a prom. Even then, gaggles of
middle school girls giggled their way
through the trials and tribulations of
high schoolers (led by 'Friday Night
Lights” Aimee Teegarden) struggling
to find dates and dresses for the 'most
magical night of their lives’ until the
rest of their life actually happens.
Several even left early, making the
salient, if incorrect, observalion that
Prom was the worst movie ever.
RIO (G) Another week, another aver
age animated children's movie that
won't quite pain the adults forced to
accompany them. After Rango, 20111s
animated output has some minor big.
quirky boots to fill. Rio isn't quirky.
It mashes together several popular
cartoon plotlines. A pet out of water—
Blu, a domesticated macaw quite
well-voiced by The Social Networks
Jesse Eisenberg—must negotiate the
MOVIE LISTINGS
Schedules often change after our deadline. Please call ahead.
ACC LIBRARY (706-613-3650)
The Girt by the Lake (NR) 7:00 (Th. 5/12)
CINl (706-353-3343)
Certified Copy (NR) 5:00 (W. 5/11 & Th. 5/12)
Jane Eyre (PG-13) 4:30, 7:00, 9:45 (no 9:45 show Su. 5/15)
Laboring Under ar Illusion: Hass Media Childbirth vs. the Real
Thing (NR) 3:00 (Su. 5/15)
The Room (R) 12:00 (F. 5/13)
Win Win (R) 7:15, 9:30 (W. 5/11 & Th. 5/12)
Winter in Wartime (R) 5:00, 7:15, 9:30 (starts F. 5.13) (no 9:30 show
Su. 5/15)
Accurate movie times for the CARMIKE 12 (706-354-0016),
BEECHWOOD STADIUM 11 (706-546-1011) and GEORGIA
SQUARE 5 (706-548-3426) cinemas are not available by press
^time^isi^ww^flagpole^con^
wide world in order to finds its owner,
Linda (perfectly voiced by Leslie Mann)
again But what will he learn on the
way 7
SCREAM 4 (R) By no means a
disappointment as many wish it to
be, Scream 4 (Scre4m) shows Kevin
Williamson can still entertainingly
tackle the tropes of the horror genre.
After a decade-long absence during
which the genre saw nearly all its clas
sics remade. Ghostface’s fourth mur
derous rampage naturally sends up the
remake craze. Scream 4 does nothing
particularly wrong, but the series lost
its brains and its boos after the brilliant
first two.
SOMETHING BORROWED (PG-
13) Something Borrowed, something
blew. In an in-spirit, if not in-name
sequel to Bride Wars, another greater,
more appealing actress withers when
matched with the poisonous Kate
Hudson. I love Ginnifer Goodwin,
but she is no match for KHud, whose
career continues to spawn entries on
my personal worst movies list. Rachel
(Goodwin) and Darcy (Hudson) have
been friends since they were, like, iittle
girls. Now Darcy is on the verge of get
ting married to Rachel’s longtime, law
school crush, Dex (Colin Egglesfield),
forcing Rachel to do something or lose
him forever.
SOUL SURFER (PG) The sec
ond release from new distributor
FilmDistrict, Soul Suher is based
on the true story of teenaged surfer
Bethany Hamilton (AnnaSophia
Robb), who lost her arm1)ut not her
desire to hang ten to a shark attack.
A ludicrously buff Dennis Quaid
and Helen Hunt appear as Bethany's
father and mother. Writer-director
Sean McNamara has a long history of
Nickelodeon/Disney TV movies and
shows as well as the features Raise
Your Voice anti Bratz
THOR (PG-13) See Movie Pick.
UN CHIEN ANDALOU/ L'AGE D OR
(NR) 1929/1930 A couple of surreal,
avant-garde masterpieces from Spanish
filmmaker Luis Bunuel (Belle du Joui)
hit the Georgia Museum ol Art to coin
cide with the exhibit. “Dali Illustrates
Dante's ‘Divine Comedy ” Bunuel and
Dali teamed up for the classic short
film. Un Chien Andalou Paired with
that seminal film is Bunuels first
feature, L'Age d'Or, a decidedly surreal
ist affair (it was meant to be another
collaboration with Dali) about a couple
whose attempts to consummate their
passion are continually frustrated by
family, the Church and society.
WATER FOR ELEPHANTS (NR)
Jacob Jankowski (Robert Pattinson)
has only his finals left to go before his
dream life as a veterinarian can begin.
Those dreams are cut short by the
death of his parents in a car accident.
In a magical twist of plot-driven fate,
Jacob hops a train carrying the Benzini
Brothers Most Spectacular Show on
Earth to its next stop. Soon, he con
vinces ringmaster August Rosenbluth
(an absolutely terrifying Christoph
Waltz) to hire him as .the circus’ vet.
And when Benzini Brothers gets a new
star attraction, Rosie the elephant,
Jacob becomes the all-important bull
man (i.e., elephant trainer).
WIN WIN (R) What a great little
independent movie! Filmmaker Thomas
McCarthy (The Station Agent and The
Visitor) does it again. Through a string
of nicely connected events, down-on-
his-luck attorney Mike Flaherty (Paul
Giamatti), who also coaches the local
high school wrestling team, winds up
discovering a superstar, Kyle (Alex
Shaffer). Win Win is one ol those gen
uine gems that goes beyond the film
festival circuit only to fail due to tack of
availability and adequate marketing If
this film is still at CinS when you read
this, check it out.
Drew Wheeler
10 FLAGPOLE.COM -MAY 11,2011
