Newspaper Page Text
I
Some releases may not be showing locally this week.
• indicates new review
BAD TEACHER (R) Nothing humor
ously new is said in Bad Teacher.
another in a popular line ot adults
behaving badly around/toward children
(a subgenre academically known as
a Billy Bob comedy) As very bad
teacher Elizabeth Halsey. Cameron
Diaz reminds the moviegoing public
that there 'was something about Mary,
and she had a lot to do with it. Forced
to return to a job she hates at which
she is not very good, Elizabeth treats
her students and coworkers, including
overachiever Amy (Lucy Punch, whom
I love), docile Lynn (Phyllis Smith ol
‘The Otlice") and laidback gym teacher,
Russell (Jason Segel). with equal
disdain, until sne sets her sights on
wooing rich, new sub, Scott (Justin
Tmbeiiake). with a boob job she must
ratner questionably hnance Being a
teacher might have skewed my opin
ions on Bad Teacher I thought it was
the summers funniest comedy behind
Bridesmaids, especially considering it
clocked in at a comedicaliy sound 90
minutes
BEATS RHYMES & LIFE: THE
TRAVELS OF A TRIBE CALLED
QUEST
Called Dues! is charted trom the»r first
appearance m the 1980s through iheir
90s peak as alternative hip-hop inno-
.afors to the troubled 2006 reunion
and beyond (Where wifi Tube go from
here’) Would you have guessed this
dix was directed by actor Michael
Rapaport 9 I would not have, but he
uses his actorly connections to snag
interviews with seemingly everybody
including ihe Beastie Boys. Mary J
Biige, Common, etc
CARS 2
age children's cadnon Unfortunately
an above-average children's cartoon
is way below Pixar s capabilities Any
other animation house can make a Cars
t a Cars 2. Po»ar should leave the
kijiie entertainment t j DreamWorks/
S ny and concentrate on singular mas
terpieces like WALL EanrJ (ip
CHOCOLAT i
Summer Classic Movie Series k>cks oft
w-th ChocoiaP Johnny Depp stars
alongside Juliette Broche in this tsve-
time Academy Award nominee (mclud
ing Best Picture) trom director Lasse
kjilstrom A woman (Binoche) and her
voung daughter open a chocolate shop
in and the tightly bound morals ol a
tiny, repressed French town It’s been
over 10 years since I saw this tilrn. and
my memories have not grown fonder
The Summer Classic Movie Series
continues with a new Mm each week
until Aug 18
FAST FIVE (PG-13) As the ‘plot’
goes. Dorn (Vin Diesel). Brian (Paul
Walker) and Dorn's sister/Brian's
squeeze, Mia (Jordana Brewster), are
on the lam after a daring, non-fatal
prison break In Rio. the trio runs afoul
of super drug lord, Reyes (Joaquim
de Almeida, doing what Joaquim
de Almeida does best, intimidate in
a bespoke suit) They also have to
outwit federal bounty hunter Hobbs
(a more gigantic than usual Dwayne
Johnson) Other stuff goes on to set
up the Oceans i 1 on wheels he>st that
climaxes the movie Wosl ol the other
stutt is taring. but when the car-based
action gets movmq it is a pedal 1o the
metal blast
GREEN LANTERN PG-13) The
movie version ot DC s second-lme
superhero, a rmg-equipped interga-
lactic policeman lacks the nostalgic
baggage checked by the big two Scpes
and Bats Test pilot Hal Jordan (Ryan
Reynolds) is chosen to jom the Green
Lantern Corps just in time to baffle
Parallax a world-devouring baddie
who uses the yellow power o! tear
to turn Peter Sarsgaard trom a John
Carpenter doppelganger into an evil,
bloated alien John Carpenter Lantern s
ring is energized by the green power ot
will, which allows him/hcr/i! to create
any construct imaginable The movie
could use a little mote creative pizazz,
judging by his constructs this Lantern
is a preteen boy (I kept waiting on the
farfconstruct) Tl
Reynolds like he stepped right trom the
page ol a comic and is as two-dimen-
s.onai Uninteresting alter-ego Jordan
dominates the movie. Green Lantern
only tiies during its CGI spacey bits
THE HANGOVER PART II :R
Sequels to hit comedies mostly suck
Think about it Caddyshack if Fietch
Lues American Pie2 Major League
2 Arthur 2 On the Rocks Porky sit
The Next Day Blues Brothers 2000
Weekend at Benue's It The list goes
on The reasons these sequels tail
are numerous taiture to comprehend
what was tunny about the original,
loss of the original stars, characters
lose likabihty, sequel mines exact
same jokes as the first movie, etc The
Hangowr Pad II sidesteps the land
mines that blow away the humorous
limbs from most comedy sequels
HORRIBLE BOSSES (R) Could
Horrible Bosses be the summer's fun
niest movie 9 The trailer promises a lot
ot laughs from this Jason Bateman-
Charlie Day-Jason Sudeikis comedy
in which three buddies pledge to kill
their bosses, a terrible tno played by
Kevin Space/. Jennifer Aniston and
Colin Farrell Think ol it like Strangers
on a Tram where everyone knows each
other and there’s no tram I expect good
things horn director Seth Gordon, who
burst on the scene with the great doc
The King of Kong I even enjoyed his
holrday comedy. Four Chrtslmases
IN ABETTER WORLD (R) The lives
of two Danish families cross when
Elias the ten-year-old son of Anton,
a doctor that frequently commutes
between his home in Denmark and his
work at an African refugee camp, forms
a friendship with troubled school male
Christian When Christian involves
Elias in a dangerous act ot revenge, it
becomes ultimately up to their parents
to help them come to terms with the
complexity of human emotions pam
and empathy
INCENDIES(R)2010 T.*.
(Melissa Oesormeaux-Poulin) and
Simon (Maxim Gaudefte) travel to the
Middle East to fulfill their mothers final
wishes and shed light on her mysteri
ous past Director Denis Villeneuve's
Academy Aw'ard nominee tor Best
Foreign Language Film (it s Canadian)
won eight Genies (including Best
Motion Picture Best Achievement
in Direction, Best Performance by
an Actress in a Leading Role and
Best Screenplay. Adapted), nine (ot
nine) Jufras (including Best Film
Best Direction Best Actress and Best
Screenplay)
KUNG FU PANDA 2 PG> However
much I dug the first KungFo Panda.
the second adventure ol Dragon
Warrior Po iv Jack 6'ack, who is bet-
*er heard than seen) and the Furious
Five—Master Tigress (v Angelina
Jolie) Master Crane (v Cross) Master
Viper (v Lucy Liu), Master Mantis (v
Seth Hogen) and Master Monkey tv
Jackie Chan)—has more visual inven
tiveness than it does comic or narrative
combined
LARRY CROWNE (PG-13) Tom
Hanks steps back behind the camera—
and stars in—this comedy aboul
out-of-work Larry Crowne who enrolls
at his local college, where he con
nects a group of outcasts and falls lor
Mercedes Tainot (Julia Roberts), one
of his teachers This movie sounds a
lot like NBC's hilarious ‘Community *
Hanks teamed up with My Big Fal
Greek Wedding phenom Nia Vardalos
on the screenplay With Wdmer
Valderrama, 8ryan Cranston. Pam
Grier Cedric the Entertainer and Hanks'
bosom buddy. Peter Scolari.
THE LINCOLN LAWYER (R) The
L mcoin Lawyer seems like the next
great drama from TNT Matthew
McConaughey would make many a
dreary summer weeknight fly by as
slick attorney Mickey Haller, who does
business out ot the backseat ot fns
roomy town car As a movie this legal
thriller says ail the right things in all
Ihe righl ways Too bad courtroom
dramas are a dime a dozen on TV Why
pay exorbitant movie theater ticket
prices when you can get the exact
story in an hour on ‘Law & Order
NCIS Las Vegas 9 * True, you'll have
to settle tor Chris 0 Donnell rather
than McConaughey. but Ryan Philippe
might guest-star as a pretty boy on
trial lor beating women You know the
exact ude you're in for as you soon as
you climb in the Lincoln's roomy back
seat It's smooth and takes the curves
well on the way to an all too familiar
destination
MADEA'S BIG HAPPY FAMILY
(PG-13) Having written, directed,
produced and/or starred in 11 movies
since 2005. Tyler Perry has become
predictable The broad, slapstick antics
ol mad matriarch Madea (Perry) are
jarringly meshed with a faith-based
melodramatic family drama The family
in Perry s newest movie belongs to
s weet Shirley (Loretta Devine) who
is dying of cancer Not that her awiul
brood seems to care
MIDNIGHT IN PARIS (PG-13) This
literary romantic comedy easily bests
Woody Allens last tew films, especially
his mean-spirited You Will Meet a
Tali Dark Stranger Owen Wilson stars
as the latest Woody sfand-m, Gil, a
Holly wood hacx trying to finish a novel
while on a family business trip to Pans
with his fiancee's (Rachel McAdams)
family On a magical midnight walk.
Gil runs into Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald
(Tom Huddleston and Alison Pill), gets
wntmg advice from Papa Hemingway
(Corey Stoll) and Gertrude Stem (Kathy
Bates) and falls tor Picasso's girlfriend.
Adriana (Marion Cotillard) The b'g
names Allen snags to play the even
bigger personalities are terrific Stoll's
wonderfully deadpan Hemingway drops
droll tines about courage, love and
writing trom Allen’s sharpest script
since Bullets Over Broadway This
tunny, heartwarming charmer should
please longtime Alien tans, lit teachers
and anyone looking tor an intelligent
breeze to freshen up the stagnant rom-
com genre
MONTE CARLO (PG) While on
a not-so-dream vacation lo Pans,
three young women Grace. Meq
and Emma (Selena Gomez Leighton
Meester and Katie Cassidy)—live the
Princess Duties experience (paparazzi,
fancy dresses fairy tale love) in Monte
Carlo after one girl is mistaken lor
a British heiress Director Thomas
Bezuchas last trim was the OK The
Family Stone released six years ago
Adapted from Jules Bass' tween lit hit.
Headhunters With Andie MacDowell,
Brett Cullen and the hilarious Catherine
Tale (‘Doctor Who*)
MR. POPPER'S PENGUINS (PG)
Catting Mr Popper 's Penguins an
adaptation ot Richard and Florence
Atwater's 1938 Newberry Honor Book
is a stretch The mam character is
named Popper, and there are penguins
The similarities end there Tom Popper
(Jim Carrey, providing his most satis
fying fun for the whole family comedy
since 1997s Liar. Liar) is a ruthless
real estate something-or-other. who's a
rather sorry husband (to Carla Gugino)
and lather (to Swing Votes wonderful
Madeline Carroll and Maxwell Perry
Cotton), that is until he inherits six
penguins from his late absentee lather
Then Popper becomes the besl poppa
a penguin or progeny could pray for
Bland, inoffensive family lilms can
come m worse packages, i e. those
missing Carrey, a rookery of cute
penguins or Angela Lansbury Popper's
most intrusive Haw doesnT belong to
the movie but to Ihe studio This winter
wonderland felt out ot place in June.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN:
ON STRANGER TIDES (PG-13) You
would think Johnny Depp's Captam
Jack Sparrow would soar to the surface
now that he's shed of the dead weight
that was Will Turner (Orlando Bloom)
and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley)
Instead, the fourth adventure of Captain
Jack is terribly unexciting and, worst
of all, boring, as he canters frantically
about for no reason more dramatically
pressing than box oil ice booty
PRIEST (PG-13) An aggressively
boring movie, Priest doesn t bring one
original idea to its tale of a warrior man
of the cloth battling an army ol vam
pires in the cities ot Blade Runner and
the desert wastelands of Mad Max The
graphic novel series, upon which the
second unimpressive movie directed
Scott Charles Stewart and starring Paul
Bettany is based, may be acclaimed,
but I cannot see wby from its filmed
version This ugly, murky sci-li/west-
ern/horror/action hybrid is a soulless
second-tier summer ‘blockbuster* bled
ol even more color by Ihe pointless
addition of 3D
PROJECT NIM (NR) James Marsh.
Ihe director ot the Academy Award
winning documentary. Man on Wire.
returns with another tale ct the 70s
In order to pfove an ape could learn to
communicate through language, Nim,
a baby chimpanzee, is taken from his
mother and raised as a human child
by a family in their Upper West Side
brownstone What an extraordinarily
interesting true story' Winner ot the
World Cinema Documentary Directing
Award from the Sundance Film
Festival
RIO (G) Another week, another aver
age animaled children's movie that
won't quite pain the adults forced to
accompany them After Rango. 201l's
animated output has some minor big
quirky boots to lit! Rio isn t quirky It
mashes together several popular car
toon plotlines
SOMETHING BORROWED -PG
13) Something Borrowed, something
blew In an in-spmt. it not m-name
sequel to Bride IVjrs, another greater,
more appealing actress withers when
matched with the poisonous Kate
Hudson I love Gmmfer Goodwin
but she is r>o match tor KHud, whose
career continues lo spawn entries on
my personal worst movies list Rachel
(Goodwin) and Darcy (Hudson) have
been friends since ttjey were, like, little
girls Now Darcy is on the verge ol get
ting married to Rachel's longtime, law
school crush. Dex (Colin Eggleslield),
forcing Rachel to do something or lose
him forever
SOUL SURFER (PG) The sec
ond release from new distributor
FilmDislncJ. Soul Surfer is based
on the true story of uenaged surfer
Bethany Hamilton (AnnaSophia Robb),
who lost her arm but not her desire
to hang ten to a shark attack A ludi
crously butt Dennis Quaid and Helen
Hunt appear as Bethany's father and
molher
SUPER 8 (PG-13) In JJ Abrams'
new summer crcwdpleaser, a group
ol junior Spielbergs witness a train
crash that unleashes some mysterious
and destructive events on their small
MOVIE LISTINGS
Schedules often change alter our deadline. Please call ahead
ACC LIBRARY (706-613-3650)
They Came to Play (NR) 7:00 (Th. 7/6)
CINE 706-353-3343)
Due to our early tuty 1 deadlines, sfcowimes were not available Please see
athenseme com lor movie schedule
Chocolat (PG-13)
In a Better World (R)
Incendies (R)
Midnight in Paris (PG-13)
UGA TATE CENTER THEATER (706 542-6396)
Fast Five (PG) 8:00. 10:00 (M, 7/11 & W. 7/13)
Accurate movie times for the CARMIKE 12 (706-354-0016),
1 BEECHWOOD STADIUM 1 1 (706-546-1011) and GEORGIA
SQUARE 5 (706-548-3426) cinemas are not available by press
time. Visit www.flagpole.com for updated times.
Ohio town The film's dramatic core
and primary means ot propulsion are
its dual mysteries one fantastical, one
tragically mundane Without giving too
much away, but lo establish a point ot
reference. Super flisa Close Encounter
with Jaws and E T
THEY CAME TO PLAY (NR)
2008 During the Fitlh International
Piano Competition for Outstanding
Amateurs (hosted by the Van Cliburn
Foundation), a wide range ot players
descend on Fort Worth. TX for a week
of intense competition Be they 35 or
80, sell-taught or classically trained,
these amateurs all love their musical art
and strive to prove they are the world's
best Winner of the Audience Award for
Documentary trom the Ft Lauderdale
International Film Festival
•TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF
THE MOON (PG-13) What exactly did
Michael Bay think was wrong with the
last Transformers movie 9 Whatever he
lixedmade Transformers Jcnngingly
bad and the worst ot the bunch After
defeating the Deceptions, the Autobots
help pursue the U S government's
global agenda (I guess we missed Ihe
part where Optimus and Co became
naturalized citizens), until a lunar
discovery brings about a cataclysmic
battle that only the Bots and a select
group ot Americans can wm Sadly,
humans still waste valuable screen
lime as Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeoul)
grapples with debilitating penis envy
tor his hot girlfriend's McDreamy boss
(Patrick Dempsey) and his parents
annoyingly return This two-ar>d-a-
hall hour live-action cartoon-cum-car
commercial has fallen into parody and
makes its animated predecessor look
like a deep character study set to the
music ot Stan Bush
• THE WARD (Fi) After a creatively,
if not commercially successful run in
the 1980s. the 1990s were not so kind
to horror master John Carpenter His
only film of the 2000s was Ghosts of
Mars, unarguably one ol his worst
pictures The weak, sickly horror genre
ot 2011 needs JC to return strong and
fright-filled, and The Ward, the auteur s
mori well-rounded film since the
lav* '80s. delivers The plot is simple;
a young woman (Amber Heard) is
institutionalized and must save herself
and her wardmates trom a vengeful
spirit The filmmaker returns to the
lilm school bag of tricks that made
Carpenter a household name (every
household I live in counts) The Ward
will never compete with Carpenter's
iconic masterpieces, but it's a nice
little ghost story effectively told around
the cinematic campfire by one ol the
genre's lummaries
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (PG-13) With
Kick-Ass filmmaker Matthew Vaughn in
charge. X-Men First Class is what the
third X-movie should have been A pre-
quel to the preceding cinematic issues.
X-Men Zero explains how Professor
Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and
Enk Lehnsherr, AKA Magneto (Michael
Fassbender). came to be triends and
then mortal enemies With Helllire
Club members Sebastian Shaw (Kevin
Bacon) and Emma Frost (January
Jones) plotting nuclear war against
the backdrop of the Cuban Missile
Crisis, Xavier must train his first class
of mutants—including series vets
Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) and
Beast (Nicholas Hoult)—lo control
their powers
ZOOKEEPER (PG) A lovable zoo
keeper (Kevin James) is assisted by
his animals, who decide to break their
code of silence, in order to help him
wm the affection ot a girl At the rate
James' box-office star is rising, this
family film seems like a surefire sum
mer hit Director Frank Coraci is an
Adam Sandler regular). I've seen the
trailer. I'm not impressed
Drew Wheeler
10 FLAGPOLE.COM JULY 6. 2011
