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MAHERS OF THE HEART AND LOINS
I was out with a group of my friends last
week, both girls and guys, and after the bars
closed, we all went back to my apartment.
There was more booze and some weed passed
around, and one of my friends asked if he could
crash for the night. We are really good friends
and have spent the night at each other's house
before, so I told him to go crash
in my bed. Fast-forward to,
like, two hours later. I got
really drunk, and after
everybody else left, I
went in and woke him
up. Basically, we slept
together, it was fun, and
we were both hammered.
I don't even know
if he remembers it,
and it meant nothing
to me. Now, I can't
decide if I should soy
anything about it or
not. When he left the
next day it was totally
normal, and we have seen
each other since but only once and with other
people around. So, is it OK if I just let it lie? I
don't feel bad about it, and it was fun, but I
am not interested in a repeat. I am afraid if I
say something it might make things awkward.
Silence Is Golden
Don't say anything unless you feel like
things change. He may not remember, or he
might be asking himself the same thing you're
asking me right now. As long as things are
good between you, you can avoid the conver
sation. If things get weird, then you’ll have to
lay your cards on the proverbial table: "Hey,
are things OK between us? That was fun, but I
don't really want to go there again." That type
of thing. Make sure he's OK.
I recently broke up with a girlfriend of four
years. Because of my current job circumstances,
I had to move back in with my parents. Now, I
am kind of back to dating, and I feel OK about
things, but I don't know how to handle dating
while living with my parents. And what do I tell
the women I date? I feel like I might set off
some loser alarms if they find out. Plus, it's not
like I con bring them back to "my place." It
will be at least another six months before I can
move out. What do I do in the meantime?
Not a Loser, I Swear
4
I always say honesty is the best policy. At
least, in a roundabout way I usually do. My
advice is to not say anything at first, because
when you first meet somebody you shouldn’t
be expecting to take them home. (Not that
there's anything wrong with that, mind you. If
you are, then go to their place and tell them
whatever you want.) You probably need some
time before you get involved with anyone very
seriously anyway, so concentrate on getting
to know some new people and feeling like
yourself again. If you do find a lady whom
you think.might be long-term date worthy,
then you should feel comfortable telling her
what your circumstances are. Lots of people
are in financially bad places right now. If she
doesn't understand that then she prob
ably wouldn't make a good girlfriend,
and you can save yourself the
trouble.
My girlfriend and I have
been together for more
than two years. We moved
in together last month, and
things are great so far. I
am surprised at how easy it
is, to be honest with you. That
being said, there is one thing.
She is still friends with this
one ex of hers. I have met
ti e guv, and I like him, and
they have been friends for
a lot longer than they dated. He knows all of
her friends and he still sees her parents on
occasion because they live in the same small
town. I never really thought a lot about it until
recently...
One of my buddies came over to the house,
and she was on the phone with this guy. My
buddy said he thought it was v.'eird. and then
we could hear her laughing out loud in the
other room. He asked me how often they talk,
and I said I didn't know. They still go out
together every now and then—lunch or a drink
or whatever. And she invites him to parties
when we have them. And my buddy
just raises his eyebrows and looks at
me like I’m nuts. He thinks I'm being
naive and that no guy is friends with
a girl he dated unless he's trying to
keep the door open. I swear I never
worried about it, but now I feel kind
of anxious about it. I am not friends
with any of my exes. I never even
considered it. But that shouldn't mean
anything right? Should I just keep
my mouth shut? I dc: t want to sacs. ;
tg this relationship, hut I can't help
thinking about it now.
Stupid Green-Eyed Monster I
If you love your girlfriend, and you trust
her, and your own instincts told you that all of
this was OK, then you need to stop obsessing.
They have been friends for a long time. They
tried dating, and it didn't work. You like this
guy. Why worry? Have you made some kind of
serious judgment error in this regard before?
I think your friend did you a major disservice
by planting this kind of seed in your mind.
Do you have any reason to believe that your
girlfriend is lying, manipulative and evil? Does
she have some kind of history of cheating? If
not, then things are exactly as they have been
for the last two years. She is still friends with
this friend of hers, she still loves you, you are
still happily cohabiting (and why would she
do that if she wanted to cheat?), and your
relationship is good and solid. If you have
any reason, aside from your stupid friend's
stupid comments, to doubt any of this, then
I encourage you to talk to her about it. But if
you don't, then tell your friend to shut up and
go back to enjoying your life.
Jyl Inov
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