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APOLLO 18 (PG-13) Th^ee astronauts
embark on a classified mission to the
moon and discover something deadly
This newest entry in the found foot
age subgenre has all the weaknesses
ol its predecessors—shaky, blurry
camerawork, poor lighting; lots ol dead
air—plus some cardboard American
Heroes as potential vies and not a lick
of scares.
•BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A
STAR (R) Even the biggest fans of hick
Swardson. the Adam Sandler supporter
finally getting his star on as the titular
bucktoothed Midwesterner with dreams
of achieving pornographic stardom
like his parents (a disgraced Edward
Herrman and Miriam Flyi i), will have
a hard time finding laughs >n this
porncom Size does math? .vhen you're
talking about sense of humor Adam
Sandler should be ashamed to have
cowritten such a mean-spirited com- iy
that is as stupid as it is not funny
THE CHANGE-UP iR) Family man
Dave (Jason Bateman) swaps bodies
with his slacker best bud Mitch (Ryan
Reynolds) so he can woo a pretty
coworker (Olivia Wilde- Great Another
body-switching coined) C- -Ting from
Hangover screenwriters Jon Linas and
Scott Moore and starring Bateman and
Reynolds. The Change-Up might be the
right pitch for Wedding Crashers direc
tor David Dobkin and better than many
of its body-switching peers
COLOMBIANAiPG 13) Gallic
actioneer Luc Besson has hit several
targets and an occasional bull's
eye- - Taken, the Transporters. District
B13—as a writer/producer, but he
misses completely with Colombians
A revenge potboiler about a hottie
assassin should be exploitation cake
Instead, stale dialogue terrible music
cues and perhaps the year's worst plot
device break up the often exhilaratingly
stealthy action
•CONTAGION (PG-13) What if a
deadly new. highly communicable virus
entered the population'? How quickly
and effectively would the world's
governments and health agencies
(represented by Laurence Fishburne,
Kate Winslet. Bryan Cranston and
Marion Cotillard) respond 9 What sort
ot wildfire would spread via the blogo-
sphere (thanks. Jude Law) 9 How would
the rest ot us (Matt Damon stars as the
people's proxy) respond as loved ones
(like Gwyneth Paltrow) quickly and
mysteriously tall ill 9 Screenwriter Scott
Z Burns (The Informant0 answers all
these queries as Soderbergh clinically
depicts this eerily possible apocalyptic
scenario.
COWBOYS & ALIENS (PG-13) Jon
Favreau sure knows how to make an
above-average blockbuster The Iron
Min director's latest is a tun mashup
of Western and science fiction tropes
that should satistyingly cap the sum
mer proper.
CRAZY, STUPID. LOVE. (PG-13)
Steve Carell stars as Cal Weaver,
whose wife. Emily (Julianne Moore),
suddenly bombs him with a divorce
pronouncement that \<ajs rum to a
local car where Cal meets inveterate
womanizer Jacob (Ryan Gosimgi
White Cal the nice guy is learning to
objectify women. Jacob the man-whore
is falling for law student Hannah
(Emma Stone).
•CREATURE Rm , pn-bab .
haven. I heard ot Creature but horror
fans looking for something cheap am:
slightly above the typically terrible
average could do worse than this Hick.
CSl Miami / "Without a Trace" pro
duction designer Fred Andrews feature
writing and directing debut has its
priorities straight nudity in the open
ing scene and a role tor Sid Haig The
creature itself, a local legend named
Grimley (Daniel Bernhardt), isn't terri
bly inventive; he/it is less effective than
the skeezy, inbred Loo-ze-anna hicks
THE DEBT (PG-13) An above-average
old people action-thriller that could
have been so much more, The Debt
boasts an Academy Award nominated
director John Madden (Shakespeare
in Love), a script by X-Men: First
Class's Matthew Vaughn, music by
Thomas Newman AND a cast ot Helen
Mirren, It Girl" Jessica Chastain. Sam
Worthington. Ciaran Hinds and Tom
Wilkinson Still, the tilm didn't get
pushed back to near September lor no
reason
DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK
(PG-13) Otl-screen mom sends her
depressed little girl. Sally (Bailee
Madison), to live w.th daddy (Guy
Pearce) and tiis new girlfriend Kim
(Katie Holmes), in the old. dark house
they're restoring in Lovecrafts very
own Providence, Rl No shocker here:
Sally's depression does not improve
MOVIE LISTINGS
Schedules often change after our deadline. Please call ahead.
CINE (706-353-3343) chei K website tor show times
The Guard (R) 5:15, 7:30 (no 7:30 show Tu./VV.), 9:45 (no 9:45 show
Su./Tu.), 2:45 (Sa. 9/17 & Su. 9/18)
Life in a Oay (PG-13) 5:15 (W. 9/14 & Th. 9/15)
Midnight in Paris (PG-13) 7:15
Sarah’s Key (PG-13, 5:00, 7:15. 9:30 (no 9:30 show Su. 9/18). 2:30
(Sa. 9/17 & Su. 9/18)
The Room (R) 12:00 a.m. (F. 9, 16)
World on a Wire iNR) 7- 30 (Tu. 9/20)
UGA TATE CENTER THEATER 706
-6396)
Hoop Dreams (PG-13) 8:00 (Th 9 15)
Super 8 •
Accurate movie times for the CARMIKE 1 2 706-351 0016),
BEECHWOOD STADIUM 11 GEORGIA
SQUARE 5 (able by pre .
time. Vi it •.vvvw.flagpole.com for updated times.
when ancient little creatures that
can’t stand the light escape Irom the
basement.
DRIVE (R) A Hollywood stuntman
(Ryan Gosling) moonlights as a get
away driver. After a botched job. he
winds up on the run with his neighbor
(Carey Mulligan) and her kid riding
shotgun The tough supporting cast
includes Christina Hendricks (' Mad
Men") Ron Perlman. Bryan Cranston
and Albert Brooks The Wings of the '
Dove Oscar nominee Hossein Amini
adapted the novel by James Saltis.
THE GUARD (R) Brendan Gleeson
and Don Cheadle star in Ned Kelly
writer John Michael McDonagh's
feature debut, an 80s-sounding buddy
cop-corn He's an unorthodox Irish
policeman (Gleeson), he’s an uptight
FBI agent (Cheadlei International
cocaine smugglers better watch out
when they begrudgingly team up
THE HELP (PG-13) This 60s
Mississippi set melodramedy will draw
raves Irom your mother grandmother,
aunt it • fadies ot the church, etc. but
the whitewashed world ot The Help
lacks the proper depth to feel real
Every bla (• servant is a saint, every'
white employer a demon.
HOOP DREAMS (PG-13) 1994 The
tremendous Oscar nominated docu
mentary tells the diverging stories ot
two teen basketball prodigies, William
Gates and Arthur Agee. Steve James'
170-minute epic doc follows these two
boys tor five years, from the begin
ning ot high school at their idol Isiah
Thomas's elite alma mater to the tirst
year of college.
HORRIBLE BOSSES (R) Three
friends decide the solution to their
employment problems is to murder
each others boss This dark, dirty
comedy does everything right in the
most wrong sort of way. eliciting illicit
snorts, giggles and guffaws thanks
to a sharp script, cowritten by former
Geek" John Francis Daley, expertly
delive r ed by three deviously likable
comic actors.
I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES
IT (NR) Sarah Jessica Parker is back
in a chick-lit adaptation whose trailer
is piled with genre cliches An over
worked breadwinner mommy, Kate
Reddy (SJP), gets more piled on her
plate and a tempting new business
associate (Pierce Brosnan). However
will she cope with work and raising her
two kids and hubby (Greg Kinnear)?
LIFE IN A DAY (PG-13) The story of a
single day—July 24.2010—on planet
Earth. Life in a Day was produced by
Ridley Scott and directed by Kevin
McDonald (The Last King ol Scotland)
from more than 80.000 user-submitted
videos to YouTube. Over 4500 hours
ot footage shot across the globe, was
culled down to the best 90 minutes
ot the beautiful, horrific, humorous
human experience
MANHATTAN SHORT FILM
FESTIVAL (NR) Cine brings the larg-
t-s* short film festival in the world to
Athens with the 10 best short films
selected from 598 entries Audience
members aren't iust passive viewers;
(hey're judges, too
MIDNIGHT IN PARIS (PG-13) Owen
Wilson stars as the latest Woody
stand-in. Gil. a Hollywood hack try
ing to linish a novel while on a family
business tup !o Paris with his fiancees
• M •'•. imily • •
ca 1 midnight walk, Gil runs into Scott
and Zelda Fitzgerald (Tom Hiddleston
and Alison Pill), gets writing advice
from Papa Hemingway (Corey Stoll)
and Gertrude Stein (Kathy Bates) and
falls for Picasso's girlfriend. Adriana
(Marion Cotillard).
OUR IDIOT BROTHER (R) As
beatific, honest and kind to a law
breaking tault Ned. Paul Rudd beams
and "aw. man" s his way through a
twee indiecom from former Lemonhead
Jesse Peretz. After being tricked by the
douchiest dickhead cop ever. Ned goes
to prison Once he's released (early for
good behavior), his organic girlfriend
(Kathryn Hahn) kicks him out and
keeps his dog. Willie Nelson. Forced to
live with his sisters, he wreaks havoc
on their lives with his chronic honesty
and guilelessness You may laugh
harder this year, but you won't smile
as broadly
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN:
ON STRANGER TIDES (PG-13) You
would think Johnny Depps Captain
Jack Sparrow would soar to the surface
now that he's shed of the dead weight
that was Will Turner (Orlando Bloom)
and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley)
Instead the fourth adventure of Captain
Jack is terribly unexciting and. worst
of all. boring, as he canters frantically
about tor no reason more dramatically
pressing tnan box otlice booty.
RESTLESS (PG-13) Academy Award
winner Gus Van Sant follows up the
incredible Milk with this tragic tale ot
a terminally ill girl (Mia Wasikowska),
who falls lor a boy (Henry "son of
Dennis" Hopper) into funeral hopping.
Together, the two encounter the ghost
ot a Japanese kamikaze pilot (Ryo
Kase). Not many big-time directors can
balance personal projects (Elephant.
Paranoid Park) and crowd pleasers
(Good Will Hunting. Finding Forrester)
like GVS (who I've finally forgiven for
his Psycho remake). With Schuyler
"daughter of Sissy Spacek" Fisk
RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE
APES (PG-13) The apes relurn in this
remixed mash-up ot Escape from the
Planet of the Apes and Conquest of the
PlaneI of the Apes. While Tim Burton's
damned dirty apes disappointed heav
ily. this new Apes prequel has my inner
Dr. Zaius all a flutter. A super smart
chimp named Caesar (Andy Serkis)
leads a primate revolution. James
Franco stars as the human scientist
that created and raised him With Brian
Cox, Freida Pinto and John Lithgow.
SHARK NIGHT (PG-13) This killer
fish flick is as good as anything you'll
find named Shark Night. It's certainly
better than its inbred Syfy kinfolk, but
only by direct comparison to decidedly
TV affair Some Tulane students head to
a pretty blondes (Sara Paxton) isolated
lake house Too bad the saltwater lake
is tilled with a variety of sharks!
THE SMURFS (PG) The live action/
CGI hybrid version ot The Smurfs is
not as bad as its atrocious trailers
would imply, thanks largely to the
smurfish talents ot Neil Patrick Harris.
STRAW DOGS (R) I don't know
how to feel about this remake ot the
controversial Sam Peckinpah classic
about a milquetoast fish out of water
(James Marsden replacing the origi
nal's Dustin Hoffman) running atoul
ol local toughs after moving to the
hometown of his beautiful wife (Kate
Bosworth) The American South has
replaced the English countryside of
Peckinpah's version.
SUPER 8 (PG-13) Without giving too
much away, but to establish a point ol
reference. Super 8 is a Close Encounter
with Jaws and E.T. Stylistically
and narratively. Abrams references
Spielberg's greatest hits. The first
couple ot acts, a perfect Polaroid of a
simpler, more innocent time (peopled
by some talented child actors and Kyle
Chandler), is shelled to death by its
tank-tilled finale.
• WARRIOR (PG-13) In Warrior, two
brothers. Brendan and Tommy (Joel
Edgerton and Tom Hardy), battle each
other, the inner demons born Irom
growing up with an alcoholic father
(Nick Nolte) and tough opponents like
Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle.
Surprisingly. Warrior never feels inva-
sively manipulative until revelations
about Tommy’s service record whip out
the patriotism I didn’t want this multi-
skilled Rocky to tapout.
WORLD ON A WIRE (NR) 1973
Rainer Werner Fassbinder's fhree-and-
a-haff hour, unseen television epic
sounds like The Matrix meets "The
Prisoner." and that’s one sweet mash
up. Cybernetics engineer Fred Stiller
(Klaus Lowitsch) uncovers a massive
governmental conspiracy that could
bring down the elaborate virtual reality
created by the computer project known
as Simulacron.
ZOOKEEPER (PG) Kevin James is
Gritfin. a nice guy who nicely takes
care of nice animals for a nice living
A pretty girl, Stephanie (Leslie Bibb),
broke his nice heart because he's a nice
zookeeper.
Drew Wheeler
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12 FLAGPOLE.COM • SEPTEMBER 14,2011
