About Flagpole. (Athens, Ga.) 1987-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 23, 2011)
-foM T*M»RRoW320H ...www.thismodernworld.com...twitter.com/tomtomorrow VOTERS SAY. 'HELP YOURSELF' There was outrage and indignation last week over media reports that Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle had received a $5,000 weekend golf outing from lobbyists for a healthcare outfit called Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA). In addition to that Oct. 12 round of golf, Cagle was gifted with a cocktail party and two nights' lodging at The Cloister on Sea Island, a posh resort primarily patronized by those in the high-income brackets. His golf ouring was part of the preliminary events in a PGA tournament known as the McGladrey Classic. I don't understand why anyone was out raged at this. This kind of behavior has been going on for years among the politicians that the voters elect to the General Assembly. It was just a year ago that House Speaker David Ralston, his chief of staff Spiro Amburn and their fami lies were embarking on a $17,000 junket to Europe, courtesy of a lobbyist for passenger rail interests. That little trip was the most expensive single expenditure reported by a lobbyist in Georgia since at least 2005. Ralston said the jaunt to Germany and the Netherlands enabled him to understand better how European countries handle their mix of rail and related transportation facilities. Even though some have questioned the propriety of what Cagle, Ralston and dozens of other legislators do each year, what they do is permissible under Georgia law. Every state surrounding Georgia puts limitations on the gifts that an elected official can receive from individual lobbyists. South and North Carolina allow no lobbyist gifts to lawmakers. In Georgia, by contrast, there are no limits on what a legislator can accept from lobby ists. None whatsoever. When Sonny Perdue established GOP con trol of the governor's office, one of the first things he tried to accomplish was an upgrad ing of the state's ethics law that included a limitation on lobbyist gifts. Perdue proposed a limit of $50 on the gifts that legisla tors could accept. The governor's efforts to write that restriction into law went nowhere because of the implacable opposition of the House speaker at the time, Glenn Richardson. Richardson, who later would resign from the General Assembly after his affair with a female lobbyist was exposed, insisted that the gift limitation would be stripped from Perdue's bill. Richardson was so adamant about remov ing the gift ban that even Perdue's House floor leader, Rep. Jay Roberts (R-Ocilla), voted in committee to carry out Richardson's wishes. After Richardson was forced from the Legislature in disgrace, his succes sor picked up right where the former speaker left off. Ralston, who sponsored his own rewrite of the state's ethics law, said he also was opposed to any limitations on the freebies that lobbyists give to lawmakers. It was suf ficient merely to file reports disclosing these gifts, Ralston contended. "I'm comfortable with letting the people make the determination," he said. "They know what to do." Ralston knew his people well. Georgia vot ers have consistently indicated that ethically questionable behavior does not bother them. There have been numerous media reports in recent years of the meals, drinks and other perks that lobbyists for entities like Cancer Treatment Centers of America and Delta have given to legislators. None of the lawmakers involved, as best I can determine, ever lost an election because they accepted these gifts. Legislators and other elected officials will continue to accept favors from lobbyists because their constituents let them. In the end, it's only the voters who have the power to put a stop to this. Tom Crawford tcrawford@gareporl.com THIS MtlIKH WtRLI by TOM TOMORROW IT’S JUST SOMETHING THE MAN- HATING FEMINISTS DREAMED UP TO MAKE THEMSELVES RICH! LET'S FACE IT—"SEXUAL HARASS MENT" IS A MYTH! ANYONE WHO CLAIMS OTHERWISE IS O0VIOU5LY A LYING TROLLOP! THERE'S NO SURER PATH TO FAME AND FORTUNE' I BET ALL THESE SO-CALLED ACCUSERS ARE SECRETLY HOPING TO BE THE NEXT ANITA HILL! IT'S BEEN NOTHING BUT SMOOTH SAILING FOR HER! AND IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT THESE FEMINAZIS HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO, WHEN YOU CANT EVEN JOKE WITH A FEMALE EM PLOYEE ABOUT THE SEX YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE WITH AND TAKE THEY DON'T KNOW HOW A COMPLIMENT! IF A RESPECTABLE BUSINESSMAN HAPPENS to Find A young job APPLICANT SEXUALLY AROUSING— WHAT'S THE HARM IN LETTING HER KNOW? YOU'D THINK SHE'D BE FLAT TERED NO QUESTION A80UT IT—MEN ARE THE REAL VICTIMS HERE. SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW HOW WE FIND THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON EACH DAY. WWJD WITH NO TIMEOUTS ON 4TH & 2? W hen the legend-deity Paul "Bear" Bryant died in January 1983, shortly after resigning as head coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide, members of the arch rival Auburn fan base had reason to hope that the end of their perennial frustration with los ing to the lads from Tuscaloosa might finally be in sight. Sure enough, in the very next match-up between the two teams, leading by three points with time running out, Auburn stood on the brink of malcing that hope a real ity when Tigers coach Pat Dye, faced with the choice cf punting or going for it on fourth down, cast his gaze to the heavens and asked for God's guidance in making his decision. "Go for it, my son!" the Lord thundered without hesitation, "Go for it!" Naturally, Dye did as advised, only to look on in total flabbergas- tion as the Tide easily stuffed the play, took away the ball on downs, marched down the field for a touchdown and won the game. As he staggered back to the locker room, a tear ful Dye cried out in anguish, "Lord, why in the world did you tell me to go for on it on fourth down?" After a pregnant pause, the Almighty responded, "Beats me, Son. Bear, why did we tell him to do that?" Pre- and post- game prayers have long been associated with America's most violent big-time col lege sport, but in recent years as the sleazier and more corrupt aspects of major college football have become increasingly appar ent, it seems to the 01' Bloviator there has been a corresponding increase in the number of coaches who go out of the way to invoke the Almighty at every opportunity. Sure enough, in a national television interview in the wake of a rare victory for the Georgia Bulldogs over the Florida Gators (who have positively dominated them over the last 20 years or so) Georgia coach Mark Richt prefaced his response to a reporter's first question with "To God be the glory. I'm so thankful... " Well, the 01' Bloviator reckons that if God had something to do with the Bulldogs beating the hated Gators for only the fourth time in the last 15 years, then it was clearly as big a night to howl up in Heaven as it was here in good ol' Athenstown. Now don't be gettin' the OB wrong. He's not questioning the sincer ity of Mark Richt's remarks or anybody else's, for that matter. He is, however, a bit unsure, regardless of whether they come from the coach at Georgia, Clemson, Ole Miss or East Cayuga Community College, whether such ges tures actually glorify God or trivialize Him. For example, does a statement like Richt's imply that God actually dedicated some of his ener gies to shaping the outcome of an encounter that, despite its overweening importance to a couple hundred thousand fanatics in these parts, amounts to not a heck of a lot com pared to all the truly critical life-and-death concerns affecting millions of people crying out for His attention aiound the world? As most Georgia fans see things, of course, it would be entirely appropriate for God to prefer the infinitely more-endearing "woof- woofers" of the Bulldog Nation to the "jorted" [i.e., jeans-shorted], mullet-coiffed denizens of Gatordom, even though this would run somewhat contrary to His numerous profes sions of special concern for the suffering of the truly pathetic. Moreover, if He likes Georgia or our coach so much, where has He been for eight of the last 11 years? Regardless of how they are intended, don't attempts to link God to a triumph in any human conflict, be it mundane or monumental, amount at some level to a reiteration of the old Austin Lounge Lizards' famed ditty, "Jesus Loves Me, But He Can't Stand You"? Mark Twain's satirical skepticism, I dare say cynicism, was never on more brilliant display than in his famed "War Prayer," where the supplicant of a warring nation implores the Almighty to "help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells... to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain... to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire... to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief... to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst... broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it—for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever- faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts." Okay, this might be a little over the top for what most Bulldog fans would like to see happen to the Gator hordes [or the Cajun swarms], although just how far over, the OB dares not say. Nor is he trying to imply that God does not intervene in human conflicts. It would be hard to imagine that He could have taken much of a shine to Hitler, for example, although if the outcome of World War II is in any sense a reflection of His inter vention, He certainly took His own sweet time in getting involved. Much as we would like to make it an allegory about good versus evil, heretical as this may sound, a football game is really just a football game. I doubt that anyone has trouble understanding why coaches or play ers would ask God to help them perform at their best when it's time to take the field, but, barring the intervention of Satan's co conspirators wearing the striped shirts, the actual outcome of the contest itself has a lot less to do with the Almighty's preference for one coach or squad over the other than the simple matter of whose "best" was better on that particular day. Finally, if, after all, the idea of a winning coach crediting God for his team's success is simply to show appropriate reverence for His power, the OB thinks it only fair that the losing coach should also have the option of blaming The Man Upstairs for his team's failure to make a single first down in the second half. James C. Cobb NOVEMBER 23,2011- FLAGPOLE.COM 7
