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KNOXVILLE JOURNAL,
KNOXVILLE, GEORGIA.
$ Brooklyn’s credit stands high. The
city has just negotiated $500,000 of her
permanent water loan bonds at 100$.
Every State in which fertilizers are
sold taxes the business ostensibly for the
protection of the farmers. It is a mat¬
ter, declares the New York Times, to
which fanners should give their careful
attention.
The proportionateculture of grass may
be taken as a measure of the prosperity
of agriculture, asserts the New York
Times. Grass conserves the fertility of
the soil, while the growth of grain crops
expends it.
Prince Bismarck recently gave a fete
to his servants and tenants at Friedrichs
ruhe to celebrate the despatch to Berly
of 5000 telegraph-poles cut in his forests.
Bismarck has supplied Germany with
100,000 telegraph-poles during the last
ten years.
The value of the fertilizers used by
farmers amounts to a yearly sura of about
$o0,060,000. It was more than half this
Bum in 1880, and the trade has certainly
doubled in extent since then, In North
Carolina the tax on fertilizers yields more
than $40,000 yearly.
The Chinese are making such large de¬
mands upon soap that in time they may
rank among the clean nations. The im¬
portation of foreign soap has increased
133 per cent in five years and SCO per
cent, more is wanted now than was
sought after ten years ago. ,
Says the Detroit Free Press-. “Volapuk
did pot die with Fr. Schleyer, its father;
and we htme there is peace in Heaven
for the man who, in translating into his
new lingo two of the sweetest words in
every language, deliberately called a
maiden a vomul and a bride a ji-gam.”
The Director of the German Statistical
Bureau „ has , issued , , a report . on „ ,, the status „
of the German population. There arc in
the empire now about 45,000,000 people,
but this official believes that theeouutry
can supporta 1 v very 3 large 0 addition to the
present number without any trouble.
A St. Louis diamond broker makes the
singular statement that the amount of
money invested in diamonds in that city
is greater than the volume of actual
money used ia business. Nearly every
family in the city, he says, even many
in humble circumstances, has a collection
of the piecious stones.
_ Tourists . . abroad , , complain , . that , . the ,, de- .
lightful calm and quiet of Heidelberg,
the great German university town, has
given way to noise and manufacturing
, bustle. A number of tall ch. mucys injure ■ ■
the view from the castle grounds and the
fearful foghorn Iron various tugs dis
'
tnrbs the quiet of the Neckar.
A first-c’asa editor achieves the big
gest ” kind of success,declares tlio Atlanta
tonsMution, when , , he salary , ..
secures a o.
$10,000 a year, and the best American
novelist thinks that lie is doing wonder
fuilvwell when lie earns the same sum
maycar. And . , yet . a fellow , „ whose , stones , .
don’t come under the head of literature,
whose style is course and ungiammati
cal, can make" three or four times as
much as the cultured editor and novel
i»t. . . c buck writer It. 1. Halsey, .
a is or
Brooklyn.theauthor of the “Old Sleuth”
detective stories. Mr. Halsey’s facile
pen yields t. him an income of from $30,- ’
non jo «M/> non a „ „„„ year. —
budget of fun.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Romance of a Phonograph—A Great
Similarity —Why He Was 8o
Earnest—Theory and Prac¬
tice, Etc., Etc.
He loved a blushing maiden.
But his soul was full of fear,
So hesfoke into a phonograph
The words he’d have her hear.
Her father moved the lover,
And before the d >y was done
That phon graph was guarded
By a bull-dog and a gun. —Judge.
A Great Similarit y.
“Whenever I see Barkins I think of
the trade winds,” said Ismythe.
“VY hy so?” queried B ones.
“Oh, lie is always blowing about his
business.”
Why He Was So Earnest.
Maud—“Are you really engaged to
Mr. Hawkins, Ethel?”
“Ethel—“Yes, i hardly know whether
I love h m or»not, but he was so earnest
that somehow I could not refuse him.”
fused Maud—“Yes, him last I know. When I re¬
summer he told me he was
going to marry somebody or burst before
Christmas. ”— Terre Haute Express.
Theory arid Practice.
“What is the half of twenty-five?”
asked the teacher.
Little Johnnie scratched his head and
didn’t answer.
it Well, I’ll make it plainer.” she said.
“If your father bought one cigar that
sold two for a quarter, how much would
the dealer iharge h.m?”
nie “fifteencents,”returned .—New York little John¬
Sun.
A . Wise Suggest „ . on.
often? jJ arf you change cooks
so
“Because you are always complaining
® n°,
Well, I won ..... t hick any more. Just
hang on to one individual and give my
stomach a chance to get acclimated.”
A Literary Butcher.
Visitor—“What a beautiful library you
linve! I really envy you.”
Retired But her—“Yes; and just look
at the binding of them books.”
Visitor—“I see; they are all bound in
calf.”
Retired Butcher—“Just so,and I killed
all them calves myself what furnished
the leather.”—Tents Siftings.
^-- /
Expensive. i .
Barrowly— “I’m not feelingvery well,
doctor. My head aches and I feel all
broken up generally.”
Doctor—“You don’t take enough ex
ercise. You ride down to business in
stead of walking, as you should.”
Barrowly—“But ’ 1 ean’t afford to
walk, it makes me so hungry, and
lunches cost money .—Harper's Paurr.
Trimming: His Sails.
Gus—“Do you carry two watches,
Jack, or is that double chain a bluff ?”
Jack—“No bluff,Gus; 1 carry a AVatcr
bury in one pocket and a Jurgenscn in
the other.”
Gus—“AA’hat’s that for?”
Jack—“When a man to whom I owe
money asks me the time I consult my
Waterbury, but when a stranger or a
^ ,vant8 information it’s the
Jurgensen that gives it, and don’t yon
f or get it .—Epoch.
---
A Man or Inventive Genius.
Carpenter- “ You say you want a
bureau made on a new plan s”
Citizen—“Yes, sir. 1 want it made
shoulders with legs so that it.” I can get my head and
under
Carncnter—f course, I will fill your
order,"but you might satisfy my curiosity
ft s to why you want a bureau made in
that way.”
Citizen-Well, T want to be able to
find my f collar button when 1 want it
„ uhm t raoving ' the bureau.” - Boston
Courier.
-- — —
. , ,
A 1 *'
Klobson- “Hud a little tea fight at our
t house last night.” “Indeed!”
Dumpsey wife said there ought to be
“Yes; my
two t’s in better, and I said there ought
to be only one.” right.” ;
“ Your wife was
njjjjl Right? For heaven's sake^
don’t tell her, or she’ll never let up on
me. I’m president of the Burlington
Business Men’s Literary Chib.”— uur
lingtonJF.iee < ■! Press.
___
Lpoks Black for tile Witnesses.
*’* Yes, sir,” said the witness, “he fell
out of the sixth story window. There*
were six of us in the room at the time;
there was no quarrel; we were all friends,
and there had been no drinking. lie was
sitting suddenly in the open window talking, and
lost his balance and fell out.”
“ What was he talking about?” asked
a juryman.
“ He was telling some smart things
his six year old boy said.”
And very p, omptiy the coroner held
all five of them to await the result of the
wounded man’s injuries.
She Was All Right.
“That Mrs. Ostentatious is outside,
sir,” said the clerk, entering the private
ottice, “She wants to open an account
with us.
ning “Lmph!” returned the tailor, begin¬
to meditate. “Do you know any¬
thing about her, Griggs?”
“No, sir; but she says she ia promi¬
nent in social circles.”
“How often did she return that last
dress to be altered?”
“Fifteen times, sir.”
“That s all right, -Griggs. Credit her
with all she needs.”— Life.
Getting Things Mixed.
Magistrate (absent-minded, to pris¬
oner —“Stand up! You hereby solemiy
declare, in the presence of these wit¬
nesses, that you will love, cherish and
protect this woman until death do y ou
part.” Prisoner (badly *
what’s that, honor?” frightened)—“Wha
yer
beg Magistrate (rousing himself)—“Oh, I
pardon! It’s ten dollars or thirty
days.
Different Jfow.
She had been reading of the latest kid
napping “George, outrage. she asked her
“how dear,” lovei,
much are you worth?”
“About $5000, love.”
“George, suppose these horrid kid
nappers should steal e, would you give
that $5050 to get me back?”
if “Willingly, darling, instead willingly. of Aye,
it were millions thousands
I would give it up without a murmur,”
he answered, as he folded her in his Jov
ing embrace.
They are married now and the $5000
still goes, but with this difference, that
George now Siftings. wants to give it to the kid
nappers.—
Her Last Request,
“It's all over, Lil. Carl refused me
this morning. 8top on your way down
town and get me a two-ounce bottle of
laudanum. It’s my last request.”
“Don’t take it so to heart, dear. You’ll
get over it in time.”
"I never shall—-never! I tell you I
won’t live another day. And say! stop
into Miss Criimnins’s on your way back
and see if that dove-colored opera cloak
of mine is linished. She promised to
have it done by Thursday, so I could
wear it to the opera with Harry Jenkyns.
He’d be so disappointed if I couldn’t
go.”— Judge.
AVit.hin the Gates.
Slender Youth—“I am very anxious,
sir, to enter the noble profession of
journalism, ‘to become master of the
great questions mold and mighty truths of
civilization, to public opinion in
theright-” Editor-“ Certainly;
Able I under
stand your feelings perfectly, and I am
ever ready to extend ;t helping hand to
aspiring youth. I will give you editorial a trial
at once. Did you notice my
this morning denouncing the brutal
sport of prize fighting and referring to
Jake Slugger as a low down, cowardly
blot 0/1 the face of humanity?”
®* r *”
• 'AY ell, we are short , - of , reporters , to
day, and I wish you would interview
Slugger and see what he thinks about
it .”—Philadelphia Record.
AA liy Didn’t She Say So.
“Ob, Mr. Bixby; wait a moment,
you_” I ain’t time wait.
“Oh, got to Its
time for my car now, and ”
“But, I only-—”
“I shan’t have time to go gallivanting
around doing "Hanged errands if for I-” you to-day,
Mrs. Bixby.
“But James, I simply wanted
“Oh, I know-you simply want
spool of number 30 thread and a card
pearl buttons, and a basket of
and a yard of elastic, and forty-nine
other things; and-”
“James, I ust wanted- v
“1 tell you its time for my ear, and I
shall be too busy to get anything, to-day,
for--”
“Wait, -Tames; I-”
“Well for heaven’s sake say it quick,
then, and let me go. I don’t see why
“I simply wanted to tell you that youi
collar was unbuttoned and that your
ucckt e had slipped hall-wav round.”
“Well, why the deuce didn’t you say
so, instead of keeping me here all day
-and there goes my car!”— Time.
Happy Hottentots.
The Hottentots in the Jardin d’Aceli
matation continue to attract the at¬
tention of Paris ans, but the poor crea¬
tures have been shivering in the cold
weather which ha3 prevailed lately,
they have been brought to iaiis by a
German, who relates that he got them to
start for Europe almost by force. Herr
Thege, the energetic person in question,
firstnegotiated with “Mother Elizabeth,”
the most intelligent member of the
troupe, who is herself on view in the
Bois de Boulogne. The natives were
enticed to the railway carriages, into
which they were unceremoniously
packed. When they arrived at the
wharves at Cape Town they were so
dazed that they allowed themselves to
be carried like children on board the
steamboats. The Hottentots, however,
have litt e to complain of in Paris ex¬
cept the bad wen (her.
The men received as pay SID per
month and the women $!. On Sunday
they are well “largessed” by the crowds
of visitors who flock to the garden to
visit them, and “Mother Elizabeth,”
who takes care to put herself in evidence
and to show that she is the most im¬
portant personage in the troupe, make-)
lifty francs or $ 5 at least on such occa¬
sions. “Mother Elizabeth,” however has
a formidable rival in “ aeob,” the head
mah of the Hottentot troupe, who is a
mighty hunter and has slain alien. The
chief orders the minor Hottentots about,
and every evening des’gnatcs the cook
for the following day, the functionary o’clock of
the kitchen haring to rise at six
in order to chop wood, cemposed light tires coffee and
make soup, which is of
and salt. When they are at home in
Africa, Herr Thege’s troupe are not par¬
ticular as to what they eat. They re¬
main in a state of utter laziness until
they are hungry; then they go oa the
trad and eat auything they can get.from
a buffalo or cat to a toad. Porcupine*
form their daintiest dish, and lizards,
bats, owls and even worms are not de¬
spised. “Mother Elizabeth,” the ven¬
erable Hottentot dame, has two lingers
cut off, to show that she has been twice
married .—Graph ie.
New Japan.
The young Mikado, Mutsuhito, the
123d Emperor of the Dameless dynasty,
was Vo* first of the line to take the oath
as a ruler.
u tue 12th of April, 1808, he made
oath before gods and men that “a de¬
liberative as embly should bo formed
all measures should be decided by public
opinion, and that intellect and learning
should be sought for throughout the
world, in order to establish the founda¬
tions of the empire.
This oath was reaffirmed October 12
1881, and this year 18 jO is fixed as the
time for limiting the houses imperial preroga- parlia¬
gative, and forming two the government of
ment, transforming
into a constitutional monarchy.
'lhe Emperor's capital was changed
from Kioto to Yeddo, which was re¬
named and called Tokio.
Feudalism, or the holding of fiefs by
the damio. came to an cntl in 1871, by
imperial edict, and the whole of great
Japan was again directly under the Mi ¬
kado’s rule.
The titles of kuzc and daimo were also
abolished, both being re -named simply
(ju >n-a ~o km), or noble families. The
distinctions between the lower orders ol
people were scattered to the winds, and
even the despised outcasts were mafic
citizen 0 , protected by law. the Japan
The degrees in rank among
esc are now as follows:
1 irst. The Emperor and the royal
families.
Second. The luiasoku, the noble
families.
Third. The Shi/.oku, the gentry.
Fourth. The Ileimin, the citizens in
general. —From “Great Japan: the Sun
rise Kingdom, by Ida G. Ilodnett, in St.
NicnoJ.AS./or November.
Nothing will turn a woman’s head so
as a bonnet- that passed by,
