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About The Knoxville journal. (Knoxville, Ga.) 1888-18?? | View Entire Issue (Feb. 1, 1889)
KNOXVILLE JOURNAL KNOXVILLE, GEORGIA. Experiments show that tropical sugar corn will grow in many parts of Arizona and that it is as productive as in the Sandwich Islands. It is also ascertained that the boxwood tree will grow there. Twenty young men in a Pennsylvania town formed a foot-ball club. In three months fourteen of them had broken bones, three were crippled for life and one druggist sold them $18 worth of ointment. A Californian has made affidavit be¬ fore a notary public that a sheep pelt which he had tacked up on the barn door grew a crop of wool this fall. It was short wool and late wool, but better than no wool at all. Hop-growing appears to be a decaying industry in England. Fifteen counties contribute to it, and in 1886 the acreage under hops was 70,127, while in 1887 it had fallen to 63,706, and in the present year to 58,494. Out of the fifteen counties only six, viz., Hants, Hereford, Kent, Surrey, Sussex and Worcester, make any substantial contribution to the hop trade. Kent, which is the chief hop county, has fallen in acreage from 43,924 in 1786 to 36,448 in 1888. The telegraph brings a tale from Tal¬ lulah Falls, that deserves to be the foun - dation of a three-volume romance. The town has a titled physician, one Count Percy de Snborag, and he was called to attend Mrs. White, a wealthy New Y'ork lady, who had fallen over a cliff and so injured herself that she wds likely to die from loss of blood. To restore her the doctor opened a vein in his arm, and maugre the fact that there was no other doctor there to help in so delicate an operation, transfused his blood into her veins successfully, albeit he almost fainted from exhaustion before the thing was through. The Tuscaloosa (Ala.) Timet says: “Saturday the annual-permit for raw turnips was given to the cadets at the university. Perhaps we had better ex¬ plain what this is: Back of the buildings is a garden, half of which is generally planted in turnips. And the way those cadets used to go for that turnip patch was a caution. So making a virtue of necessity the authorities now after a cer¬ tain time give a general permission to eat raw turnips. And not near so many vegetables are destroyed, of course. But Saturday morning they say that patch was a seething ma3s of gray forms, il¬ luminated by brass buttons. Imme¬ diately after the permit was given all frantically engaged in uprooting the festive turnip.” Occasionally harrowing accounts oi the sufferings of survivors cf shipwrecks are published, and it make3 one’s bloed run cold to hear of people who are out for days in an open boat with only two crackers and a bucket of water to a man, and as the days pass by and no friendly sail comes in sight the rations are re¬ duced to one cracker and two buckets of water, and at la3t lots are drawn to de¬ cide as to which of the party is in the best condition, etc. But all these stories pale into insignificance compared to the sufferings of Captain Stott and the crew of the steamer Rowena, who got aground on Lake river, Oregon, while after a raft of piling. They were fast in the mud for four days with nothing but I.imburger cheese. What their sufferings were no ■pen can describe. Hannah Sharkey recently died at *lge o 1 1U years at Youngstown, Ohio, BUDGET OF*FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. Fate—The Very Thing—Criminal Statistics—When the Gravestone was Finished — Commend¬ able Caution, Etc-, Etc. Ao longer at the garden gate Fond lovers swing; November breezes regu.ate That sort o£ thing. Within the costly parlor now, Before the grate ' They sit, and notice how never It’s graving late. The blazing coals illuminate ' With ruddy glow a he cosey room, and, though ’tis late He does not go. . Next day she has a sleepy air, Her pa's enraged; But, after all, what does she care? She is engaged. —Somerville Journal. The Very Thing. “It looks as if the child was poisoned, 3 remarked the doctor, gravely. “Areyo P positive there was nothing dangerous around the house that he could have cot his hands on?” band, “Nothing,” replied the young hus¬ “unless it was some ol the bread my wife baked.”—New York Sun. Criminal Statistics. “Detectives are no good,” said Tommy. “Why not,” asked his father. “It says here there are a number of Congressmen at large. If the detectives were Texas any good they would run ’em in.” — Siftings. "When the Gravestone was Finished. Doctor, passing a stonecutter's yard— “Good morning, Mr. Jones. Hard at work, I see. I suppose you finish your gravestones as far as ‘In memory of,’ and then wait for some one to die, eh?” and “Why, yes; unless somebody’s sick right you’re C’/lambers’s doctoring ’em; then I keep on. — Journal. Commendable Caution. A celebrated criminal lawyer, having just defended a noted assasin so brill¬ iantly that the wretch was acquitted in the face of overwhelming evidence, steps up to the judge. “A word in your .ear, your Honor.” Judge—“Well, what is it?” “I would ask that the pri&ouor be de¬ tained in jail until to-morrow morning. I have to cross a lonely field on my way home, and the rascal happens to know that I have money about me!” Cartoon. Obliging Judge—“Oh, certainly.”— On Tick. “So you found the clock ticked so loud that you couldn’t sleep?” said the jeweler to customer who returned a clock. ‘You ought not growl when ycu have your folding-bed ticking under vou all night.” ’ The man took the clock home again. —Life. Not an Exception to the Rnle. 1 Social Philosopher—“My gracious! I wish I could have the honor of an intro duction to that lady. She’s the first sensible woman I’ve seen on the to-day. Friend—“I Shs wears no bustle.” know her. Wait. Good morning, introduce Mrs. De Fashion. Permit me to my friend, Mr. Ilighmind.” ion, “Forgive but the intrusion, Mrs. De Fash¬ I noticed that you had no bus¬ tle—” Mrs. De Fashion—“Horrors! I must have dropped it.” (Faints).— Philadel¬ phia Record. A Cheap Collection. “There are many little ways,” said the curio collector, “to gratify one’s tastes in a very inexpensive manner, Nowhere is my collection. That piece of brocade silk 1 cut from a chair in the Tuileries while my guide was not look ing; that the gold enameled spoon I picked up on table in the Czar’s in the palace of St. Petersburg, and that little Rubens over there I carried away from a gallery in Florence beneath my cloak. It all depends upon how you go at it whether collecting curios is expen¬ sive or not.”— Harped s Bazar. An Evidence of Insanity. “Mr. Y'oder, your daughter Irene has given me her permission to ask of you her hand in marriage; but before I ask for your formal consent you will pardon me if I make the inquiry, as it is a mat¬ ter of lifelong consequence to me, whether or not there have ever been any indications of insanity, so far as you know, in your family?” “You say Irene has accepted you, Mr. Hankinson?” 1 ‘I am happy to say she has. ” ing “Then, sir,” said the old man, shak¬ his head dejectedly, “it is my duty, as her father, to tell you that 1 think Irene is showing decided indications of insanity.” — Chi ago Tribune. Having a Swell Dinner. A heavy dragoon and mighty swell had invited a brother officer to dine with him at his Piccadilly club. They sat down to a dinner of sixteen courses and for the first half hour neither spoke. Then the host discovered a pretty little actress the club tripping window. across the street under “Ha,” said he, “there goes Miss Jig¬ ger—what’s The her doocid name?” other pondered deeply, and in the course of the following half hour the dinner progressed steadily. Then the guest, lection, struggling said under a boom of recol¬ : “Judkins.” An hour passed and not a word was uttered. Finally, after the coffee was finished, a light broke upon the face of the host and he said: “By Jove, her doocid name was Jud¬ kins, after all.” Half an hour later they shook hands and parted without a word.— London Figaro. A Smart Clerk. A St. Louis dry goods house adver¬ tised for a “smart boy,” and they got him. They put him behind the counter. The following conversation passed be¬ tween him and his first customer: Customer (picking up a pair of gloves) —“What are these?” Smart Boy—“Gloves.” Customer—“Yes, yes; but what do you ask for them?” Smart Boy—“We don’t ask for them at all; customers do that.” Customer— “You don’t understand me. How do they come?” Smart Boy—“Why, they come in pairs, of course.” they Customer—“No, come?” No! IIow high do Smart Boy—“Just above the wrist, I believe.” Customer—“But what do you get for them?” Smart Boy—“Me? I don’t get noth¬ ing for them. Boss pockets all the money.” (losing patience)—“What Customer is the price of these gloves per pair?” Smart Boy—“Oh, that’s your lay, is it? Why didn’t you say so afore? One dollar.”- St. Louis Magazine. Why Thomas Never Calls. It was eleven o’clock. Thomas Single¬ man still lingered in the tapestry-lined parlor slight of the Ilogamont mansion. There was a noise upstairs, when Clairi belle whispered: “Oh! Tom, I think it is papa, and he so objects to you staying so late.’’ Before Mr. Singleman could secure his hat the door opened and Col. Hogamont entered. “Claribelle Jane, you may leave the room for a moment. I wish to speak privately with Mr. Singleman.” glued With her beating heart the keyhole she sadly outside, left, then ear to “Mr, Singleman, I the wanted to ask a favor. As I go past store I wish to settle a bill of ten dollars, and I forgot to call at the bank on my way home. Can you spare that much until to-mor¬ row evening?” happy Mr. Singleman was to perform the favor. “You need not be in a hurry to leave, Thomas; my daughter appreciates objection.” your company, and I have no I He left the room, and Thomas and Claribelle were radiant with happiness, I Next evening, about the same hour, the j old gentleman entered and obtained a 1 similar loan. It occurred also the evening ; following.The next evening and a slight Singleman noise was heard upstairs, Mr. grasped his hat and left, saying: “Clari belle, dearest, if your papa should in ; quire of my absence, tel) him I took sud j denly sick. Good-bye, sweet!” and be j fore the old gentleman was half down the stairway Mr. Singleman through was plow¬ the ing his way homeward murky night. The old man smiled and returned to his slumber. Thomas says that and even Claribelle prospective marriage is a failure, Jane spends her evenings at home.— Georgia Cracker. The Forgetful Boy. Mrs. Verbosity wanted a package of yeast powder the other day. \ “Ob, send dear,” she sighed, “I shall have to Willie after that yeast, and he has such a bad memory! 1 do declare, I never saw such a foj-getful child in my life. He torments the soul out of me. Every time I send him to the store he brings back something I didn’t send him Then raising her voice, she called: “Willie!” “Yes, ma,” “You come here this minute; I’m in a great hurry. I want a yeast cake down to the store, and I don’t want you to forget what I send you for. I don’t want terday, baking but powder, same as I had yes¬ a yeast cake. One of them tin-foil cakes, Willie. “Yes, ma.” “Did you hear what I said?” “No, ma.” “Oh, you do try my patience so. Come here this minute.” The boy appears. “Now, I want a yeast cake—how came that mud on your coat? You’re been playing in the dirt again; I’ll toll your lather when he gets home. It’s not bak¬ ing powder, down. I want. Turn your coat collar Now don’t you come home with nutmegs, like you did yesterday, nor with cinnamon, like you did the day before, when you were told to get citron. Your coat is buttoned wrong. Don’t you forget now.” The boy escaped to the street, when the anxious and painstaking matron called out from the window: “Now, don’t you stop to play with those Mantrangialo boys, like you did last week, and keep out of French’s back yard—do you hear? It’s yeast you’re going for, yeast; kind not turnips, nor car¬ rots, nor any of vegetables—I got them this morning, you know. Remem¬ ber, you’ve got a bad memory, and don’t—” But the boy was out of hearing. peaches. He brought back a can of preserved He had a bad memory.— Pittsburg rout. Arctic Sledge Dogs. Kamschatkan dogs are probably the most sagacious of all feral types, and are employed ful and trained the in the most care¬ manner for multitudinous ser¬ vices required of them. Soon after birth they are placed with their dam in a deep pit, that they may see neither man nor beast, and after having been weaned are condemned to solitary confinement for six months, at the end of which time they are put to a sledge with other dogs, and being extremely shy and frightened withal, they run as fast as they can until this they trial become blown and cowed. After where trip they are remanded off and to their pit, they thoroughly they remain, tired and on, sledge- until are broken. This severe education sours their temper amazingly, and makes them anything but obliged companionable. them Drivers blow are frequently the before to stun unharnessing by a on nose them on account of their savage nature. Besides drawing sledges they tow boats up the river in summer and keep their masters warm in winter nights. They are remarkable weather prophets, and discount the Signal Service Bureau, for if when the resting on a journey they dig holes in snow, there is certain to be a storm. They are of the husky type, shaggy, with erect, curling, bushy tails and not very sharp noses and ears. They live exclusively on fish, which they catch for themselves. In winter their ration comprises forty frozen herrings per day. —Forest and Stream. Gold Nuggets in a Chicken's Crop. A rather curious instance of luck oc¬ curred to a lady living on purchased Leavenworth street, near Post. She from a hard-up peddler a chicken for the sum of sixty cents, and when preparing it for the stove was surprised to find in a number fowl’s of bright-looking examination substances they the crop. On were found to be small particles of gold. The nuggets were weighed, and found to represent the sum of $10. What part of the country the chicken came from, or how it managed to obtain such valuable food, is a mystery. The lady ordinarily is reported to have of enjoyed more than wiliing her feast fowl, and is quite to make similar investments.— San Franeisc - Call. ■ __ An epidemic of suicides has broke’/ self-murder out in Paris. At reported least ten attempts day. J j are every The students of Cornell Sunda/ Univ; have issued the first college lication. -
