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THE ATLANTIAN
9
Central Bank and Trust
== CORPORATION—
CANDLER BUILDING
Capital
Undivided Prolits
Deposits
Five Hundred Thousand Dollars
Two Hundred Thousand Dollars
• Three Million Dollars
A Strong, Well Equipped, Conservatively Managed Bank
4% on Savings Deposits
YOUR ACCOUNT IS INVITED
Branch, Corner Mitchell and Forsyth Streets
ASA G. CANDLER. President
DIDN’T HEAR THEM THE
SAME WAY.
A college professor was walking
across the campus with the dean of
one of the colleges when the chimes
In the library tower began to ring.
W. A. SLATE,
Passenger Conductor Atlanta Div.
Southern Railway, and Mem
ber of Ga. Div. 457, O. R. C.
Also Prominent Member
Shrine.
‘‘Dean,’’ said he, "the music of those
chimes is so beautiful that it always
sets me dreaming of the past. My
boyhood days ”
"What do you say?” interrupted the
venerable Dean.
“I say the chimes are very, very
beautiful. They make me think ”
"What?” yelled the dignified old
Dean again.
“The chimes—the chimes—how
beautiful they ”
“Speak louder!” cried the Dean once
more. "I can’t hear you for those in
fernal bells.”
A HOUSEFUL OF REASONS.
Shortly after a young man married
he entered the ministry. He was on
a small salary, but he seemed con
tented and happy.
Some twelve or fifteen years went
by when a friend met him, well dress
ed, but not at all clerically.
They shook hands. The "minister”
said he was doing excellently.
"What church?” asked the friend.
“Oh,” said the other, “no church—
the wholesale hat business.”
"But why did you leave the church?”
the friend inquired solicitously.
"For seven reasons,” he replied.
“And what were they?”
“A wife,” he answered, "and six
children.”
LIMITED BAIT.
A teacher was one afternoon exam
ining a class of young boys in geogra
phy. He said:
“Now, boys, what do you think that
Noah did while he was in the ark?”
After waiting several minutes he
saw one hand go up, and the little
chap on being asked what he thought
that Noah did replied:
“Sir, I think that he might have
fished some.”
"Yes,” said the instructor, “that is
possible; he might have fished some.”
Presently another small hand went
up. The teacher asked this one also
what he thought about it.
The small boy said: "I don’t think
that he fished very long, because he
only had two worms.”
WHY SHE SENT FOR HIM.
A clergyman was once sent for in
the middle of the night by one of his
woman parishioners.
“Well, my good woman,” said he,
“so you are ill and require the con
solations of religion? What can I do
for you?”
"No,” replied the old lady, “I am
only nervous and can’t sleep!”
“But how can I help that?” said the
parson.
"Oh, sir, you always put me to sleep
so nicely when I go to church that I
though if you would only preach a
little for me!”
NOT IN THE INDEX.
“Sir,” said the sleek-looking agent,
approaching the desk of the meek,
meaching-looking man and opening one
of those folding thingumajigs show
ing styles of binding, "I believe I can
interest you in this massive set of
F. M. WOODDALL,
Terminal Train Master A. B. & A.
Ry., Atlanta—Mr. Wooddall is
Popular With His Employees
and Has Made Good With the
Company—Watch Him Rise.
books containing the speeches of the
world’s greatest orators. Seventy vol
umes, one dollar down and one dollar
a month until the price, six hundred
and eighty dollars, has been paid. This
set of books gives you the most cele
brated speeches of the greaters talk
ers the world has ever known and—”
“Let me see the index,” said the
meek man.
The agent handed it to him and he
looked through it carefully and meth
odically, running his finger along the
list of names.
Reaching the end he handed the in
dex back to the agent and said: “It
isn’t what you claim it is. I happen
to know the greatest talker in the
world, and you haven’t her in the in
dex.”
HIS MEMORY WAS ALL
RIGHT.
“Well, dear,” announced her absent-
minded husband when he came home,
"this time I did not forget to bring
home my umbrella. See?”
“Yes, dear, I do see,” replied the
gentle wife. "The only trouble is,
Harry, you didn’t take yours this
morning.”
RESTED ON ABRAHAM’S
BOSOM.
One morning when Abraham Lincoln
was on his way from his home to his
office two girls ahead of him were
skipping backward on the sidewalk.
As they neared and were within a
few feet of him one of them struck
the edge of a brick and fell back
ward. Before she reached the ground
Mr. Lincoln had caught her in his
arms.
Lifting her tenderly to her feet he
asked the girl her name:
“Mary Tuft,” she answered, blush
ing.
"Well, Mary,” said Mr. Lincoln, smil
ing, “when you reach home you can
truthfully tell your mother that you
have rested on Abraham’s bosom.”
TO A VIOLET.
Sweet flower, in spring-time blooming,
Thy praises have been sung before
Through countless, bygone ages,
Thy modesty, told o’er and o’er
By poets, lovers, sages.
But violet, none ever yet
Has fathomed half the mystery
Of thy being—wee woodland flower;
So little, man can understand
The songs on Nature’s pages.
To love is better than to know;
The singer, greater than the song;
Earth’s perfect music here below
Is but the first sweet note
Of Heaven’s eDdless melody.
—Myrtle Conger.
Shelbyville, Ind.
A man who prides himself on obey
ing the Ten Commandments and
habitually ignores the book of rules
will never find out why he isn’t popu
lar with the boss.—Cynicisms of the
Cinder Crusher.