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THE ATLANTIAN
YOU WILL FIND AT
CONE’S
Hundreds of Appropriate Christmas
Gifts.
Priced From 10c to $25.00.
Remember that you always receive the best possible prescription
service regardless of the season. We never permit outside lines to
interfere with our standardized prescription service.
CONE’S
Sixty Whitehall Street
and
Kimball House Block
“A GOOD DRUG STORE.”
J
AMUSING STORIES ABOUT
WELL-KNOWN PERSONS.
NOW, WHO’S GREATER?
Senator O’Gorman was discussing with
a friend the careers of two successful
college men. One of these had just been
made a judge, the other a bishop, and
the Senator’s friend remarked:
“I think a bishop is a greater man
than a judge. A judge, at the most, can
only say. ‘You bo hanged! ’ but a bishop
can say, * You bo damned! ’ ”
“Yes,” replied the Senator, “but if
the judge says, ‘You be hanged!’ you
are hanged.”
THE VERY LATEST.
A woman, whoso husband hud acquired
rocent wealth, had just returned from a
trip abroad. Attending a concert, she
■was seated next to a woman of high so
cial standing, who began talking to her,
and finally asked:
“Did you attend the opera while you
woro abroad!”
“Oh, yes,” answered the newly rich,
‘ ‘ I went tol several of them. ’ ’
“Indeed! V said the other, “and which
one did you enjoy most!”
“Well, I think I liked ‘Asbestos’
best. ”
‘ ‘ Asbestos! ’ ’ exclaimed the society
woman. “I never heard of such an
opera. ’ ’
“Well,” said the other, “I didn’t
know for sure what the name was until
I Baw it on the curtain, and it cer
tainly read ‘Asbestos’.”
UNCLE ZEKE SAYS:
You kin always cross de river at de
place wliar hit’s braggin ’ de loudes ’.
A rooster ain’t nebber laid aigs, but
no rooster ain’t obber tried.
Hit’s better to let de insurance folks
cry dan hub yo’ wife do hit.
Tain’t wrong to be po’, but hit’s daw-
gone improvident.
Only a foolish man hunts scratch cats
wid a beanshooter.
EVEN SO.
“I hear you are hobnobbing with ,7. P.
Morgan now. ’ ’
“Olt, no; we just happened to have a
few words together. ’ ’
“What did you talk about!”
“He told me to get out of his way,
and I told him to go to thunder.”
A SERIOUS LACK.
An old Englishwoman, who was ex
tremely stout, was making vain efforts
to enter the rear door of an omnibus.
The amused driver leaned over good-
naturedly, and said, in a confidential
tone:
“Try sideways, mother; try side
ways. ’ ’
The old woman looked up breathlessly,
and replied:
“Why, bless ye, .lames, I ain’t got no
sideways. ’ ’—Youth’s Companion.
I used to think that friendship meant
happiness; I have learned that it means
discipline.—Brown.
POOR SUBSTITUTE.
A gentleman who was once stopped
by an old man begging, replied, “Don’t
you know, my man, that fortune knocks
once at every man’s door?”
“Yes,” said the old man, “he knocked
at my door once, but I was out, and ever
since, then he has sent his daughter. ”
“His daughter?” replied the gentle
man. ‘ ‘ What do you mean ? ’ ’
‘ ‘ Why, Miss Fortune. ’ ’
W. A. SIMS,
Vice-Pres. Guarantee Trust &
Banking Co., Cashier, City Sav
ings Bank.
HOW THE TROUBLE STARTED
Two copy boys on the New York
Evening World were having an acri
monious discussion one afternoon as
they sat on their bench next to the city
editor’s desk.
“I guess they never named any towns
for you,” said one.
“Maybe not,” said the other; “but
there’s a town up yonder in New Eng
land named for you, all right. ’ ’
“What town is that?” asked the first
boy, falling into the trap.
“Marblehead,” said the other.
At this point the first blow was
struck.
THE RETORT COURTEOUS.
A crowd of juvenile American Rep
resentatives were returning home one
evening after attending a lecture in a
small country town in Maine.
“What did the lecturer say when you
threw those cabbages at him, Will?”
asked one of the crowd, who had se
cured only standing room in the rear.
“Oh, he said he had hoped the audi
ence would be pleased, but he really had
not anticipated that they would entirely
loso their heads.”
ON THE SAFE SIDE.
“Oh, darling, you should not be
frightened and run from the dog. Don’t
you know you are a Christian Scien
tist?”
‘ ‘ But, mama, ’ ’ cried the little girl, ex
citedly, ‘ * the dog doesn’t know it! ”