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THE ATLANTIAN
Shoes for Men and Women
f Wc Handle the
BOSTONIAN SHOE ii
t STRICTLY UNION MADE
“NOT-A-SEME” HOSE
—NONE BETTER—
! Visit Our Basement Bargains
NO STORE HAS A
LOWER PRICE THAN OUR S.
25 WHITEHALL ST.
5HDE5 fob EVERYBODY
Bell Phone Main 271
KNEW HIS GEOGRAPHY.
(From Tho National Monthly).
A prominent theatrical manager of
New York City strolled into one of the
loading hotels of tho metropolis with
Col. William F. Cody, and met Jim Thorn
ton, tho eccentric inonologist.
Tho manager greeted Mr. Thornton
and, turning to Cody, said, "I would like
to have you meet my friend here, Mr.
Thornton.
“Mr. Thornton, this is Col. William
F. Cody, better known as Buffalo Bill.
Mr, Thornton, gripping tho Wild West
showman’s hand, said, “Glad to know
you, Bill. What part of Buffalo are you
from?”
RALPH 0. COCHRAN,
Newly Elected Member of the Gen
eral Assembly from Fulton County
A CHANGE OF HABITS.
(From Tho New York Tribune).
“If tho high cost of living keeps on
tho rich themselves will feel the pinch
of it.”
Tho speaker was Brand Whitlock, May
or of Toledo. He continued:
“I know a Toledo banker who has al
ready begun to retrench, llis daughter
said to him tho other day:
“ ‘Father, dear, I need a new fall rid
ing habit. ’
“ ‘Can’t afford it,’ the banker growl
ed.
“ ‘But, father, what am I to do with
out a riding habit?’
‘ ‘ ‘ Got tho walking habit. ’ ’ ’
LOCATED AT LAST.
“Oh, Ma’am, I’vo swallowed a safety
pin. ’ ’
“So that’s where my safety pins go,
is it?”
Two ladies were hurrying down tho
street, the rain whipping at them so they
were obliged to carry their umbrellas low
for protection. In turning a corner
sharply tho point of one umbrella struck
a man in the forehead.
“Heavens!” gasped the woman, “I’ll
keep an eye out in the future.”
“Begorra!” exclaimed the man, “ye
nearly had one out in the prisint. ’ ’—Ex
change.
AWKWARD SITUATION.
Marion, aged seven, had just returned
from Sunday School and was duly im
pressed with tho instruction she had re
ceived.
“Mother,” she said, gravely, “if I
should die, would I go to heaven?”
“Why, yes, darling; of course you
would. ’ ’
“And if you should die, would you
go to heaven, too ? ’ ’
“I hope so, dear.”
“I hope so, too; because it would be
; very awkward for mo to be known as tho
little girl whose mother is in hell.”
DONE IN THE MAKING.
(From Tho Chicago Tribune).
“Hello! Is that the information edi
tor?”
“Yes.”
“I want to ask you a question, to set
tle a dispute. Does freezing spoil a
parsnip?”
“ No; you can’t spoil a parsnip. That
all? Good-by.”
NO SINECURE.
(From Harper’s Weekly).
“Why do you keep pestering me for
money all tho time?” demanded old
Closcfist, as his son begged for a few
dollars extra. “Why don’t you go out
somewhere and work for it?”
“Gee, dad,” replied the boy, “is there
any harder work anywhere than getting
a dollar out of you?”
THE DIAGNOSIS.
(From Tho Washington Herald).
“Doctor, whenever I sco a lake or a
pond I feel like plunging in. Whenever
I am near water I have an almost un
controllable impulse to plunge in, just as
I am.”
“Hum! Hum! Seems queer. Now tell
me. Has our wifo been feeding you
excessively on flsli?”
THE POOR DEAR.
Regular Customer—“I shall want a
large quantity of flowers from you next
week, for my daughter’s coming out.”
Flower Woman—“Yes, mum. You
shall ’avo tho very best for ’or, pore dear.
Wot wero she put in for?”—Punch.
A DIFFERENCE IN TERMS.
A negro maid who overheard the mas
ter of tho house reading aloud from the
paper an account of tho Titanic caught
tho name of John Jacob Astor. Later
slio said to tho mistress:
“Well, who’s dat Disaster I heard yo’
speakin’ about yesterday?”
REAL EXCITEMENT.
Husband (cheerily)—“Well, love, have
you had a pleasant day?”
Wife—“Oh, splendid! After I dressed
tho children and got them off, washed
the dishes and made some pies, cleared
away the luncheon table and answered
some letters, I still had time enough left
to darn my stockings.”
A JOB LOT.
(From Tho Kansas City Journal). ..
“And now tho merchant assembles all
his old junk on a table and labels it 10
'cents a grab.”
“What’s that?”
“And puts up a placard; ‘Suitable
Gifts for Father.’ ”
ONE TREATMENT SUFFI
CIENT.
“I have never been whipped but
once,” announced tho boastful man,
“and strango to say, it was for telling
• tho truth.”
“It cured you,” ventured the meek
man quietly.
Yaarab Temple Patrol and Degree Team, on to Dallas, Texas.