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THE ATLANTIAN
HONORABLE BUT REMOTE.
A man, well past middle life, who
bad spent his years getting rich, and
who never had any time to devote to
the ladies and similar frivolities, began
paying attention to a certain young lady.
Her father, a prudent man, waited for
what he considered a reasonable time for
the suiter to proj*ose. But the suitor
seemed satisfied with things as they
were, so father took the matter into bis
own hands. “Cyrus, you’ve been settin’
up with Dora, takin* her to picnics, and
to church and buggy ridin’ as though
you’d had the inside track. An’ nothin’s
come of it. Now I’d like to know your
intentions, as man to man. ’ ’
“Well, I’ll tell you as man to man,
and there ain’t no cause for you to ruffle
your shirt. My intentions is honorable—
but remote.’’
STUNG.
Little Harold wanted a bicycle. So
his mother told him to pray for one,
which he did faithfully every night. In
the meantime, both parents consulted and
came to the conclusion that their son
was too small to have a bicycle.
They bought him a velocipede instead.
After the little fellow had retired they
placed it beside his bed, and the next
morning they watched developments from
the hallway, through the half-opened >
door.
Harold rose and sat upon the edge of
the bed, his eyes directed to the veloci
pede. And in a voice of thorough dis
gust, he said:
“Oh, God. don’t you know the differ- 1
ence between a velocipede and a bicy
cler”
ROBERT’S OBSERVATION.
The family was at the dinner table one
evening, when a man, a friend, dropped
in. He had been moving and his ap-1
pearanee was not of the neatest. He :
excused himself for looking as he did.
and then, turning to the youngest, of the
family, a boy of five, said:
“I look just like a tramp, don’t I
Robert r ’ ’
“Yes,” promptly answered the young
ster.
The mother, trying to set matters
aright, said:
1 ‘ Why, Robert doesn *t know what a
tramp is. ”
“Yes, I do,” the little fellow cried
out. “I seen one on a movin’ picture
once. He stole a pie off the window-sill. ’ ’
FIGHTING BLOOD.
Two men who really did not want to
fight, but who had got the idea that it
would be disgraceful not to do so, fell
to blows. Friends rushed in and held
each contestant firmly.
Warrior Number One, seeing the ex
tremely violent efforts of Warrior Num
ber Two to break away, cried out:
“More of you men hold Swanson!
One man can hold me! ’'—Everybody’s
Magazine.
* * But how can you be papa’s girl and
mamma’s girl at the same time!”
“Well,” replied the tot after a mo
ment’s reflection, “can’t a nice carriage
have two horses ?”—Ex.
is risen, indeed”; when all the world will tread in His
footsteps; and when all the world shall rejoice in the
happiness which can come only from that individual and
national righteousness which is the badge of the followers
of the risen Christ.
A Forward Movement
The Chamber of Commerce, under the virile presi
dency of Mr. Wilmer L. Moore, has recently organized
a movement which resulted in one hundred per cent, gain
in membership in one week.
Now more than 1,600 active members are lined up
to push forward the w r ork which is the province of the
Chamber. And that province is very wide. The Cham-:
ber is the one civic organization to which every good citi
zen can belong, irrespective of his religion, his politics or
his personal opinions. It occupies a vantage ground pos
sessed by no other organization. When it speaks its voice
has that authority which naturally attaches to such an
army of capable men whose common bond is the welfare
of the home city.
Its field of work is not limited by any canons, laws,
precedents, traditions or prejudices. It has the right
to “butt in” on anything which bears upon the general
welfare of the community, and to its credit be it said, it
has not been slack to assert that right.
One recalls how six years ago, when a few men were
fighting to eliminate the iniquitous bucket-shops from
Georgia, the Chamber, after full and fair discussion, cast
its influence against the bucket-shops, and it proved most
potent and timely help.
The President, the Directors and the membership
of the exchange are to be congratulated on the great
work recently done in increasing the membership, and
good as its past work has been the public will now confi
dently look for an enlarged usefulness.
Workmen’s Compensation Bill
The bill familiarly known as the Workmen’s Com
pensation Bill is dead, and righteously so.
Under the specious pretext of aiding the railroad
men and putting them in a position of security as to com
pensation for injuries it calmly took away their common
law rights, and put them not only at the mercy of em
ployers, but also gave them totally inadequate relief.
When it looked as if the measure was about to go through
Congress with a whoop there developed opposition among
railroad men in Atlanta. The matter was brought to the
attention of Senator Hoke Smith, who instantly saw the
defects in the measure, and turned himself loose to de
feat it.
The sledding was not easy. It had already passed
the Lower House and was pending in the Senate, with
a strong following before Senator Smith got his oppor
tunity. He made the most of his opportunity and by hold
ing up the Senate in its closing hours, was able to put
to sleep a measure which had in it more of promise and
less of performance than any measure offered of late
years.
We understand that the railroad men of Atlanta are
framing up resolutions of appreciation to Senator Smith
for his services in this matter. Certainly they owe him
so much, and as a rule they are not slack to acknowledge
an obligation.
LEARNING TABLE MANNERS.
Alfred Gwynne Vanderbilt, dressed af
ter the best English manner in a black,
tight, long-tailed morning court, dark
trousers, gray-topped boots and a silk
hat worn at a rakish backward angle,
discussed at the horse show his project of
living part of the time abroad.
‘ ‘ Why shouldn’t one live a lot
abroad?” he said. “They are not so
bad over there. In dress, in books, in
plays, in music—really, you know, in
nearly everything—they are not so bad.
“I fear we underrate them. I fear
we are all too prone to regard the foreign
er as he is regarded in the story of
‘ Count Sans Terre. ’
“ ‘Why, count,’ cried a friend, ‘look
at your face. Such rapier cuts. Don’t
you know that dueling is going out of
fashion ?’
“ ‘I have not been dueling,’ growled
the count. ‘It’s my American wife. She
makes me eat with a fork.’ ”
A MISUNDERSTANDING.
Elihu Robt. at the Chamber of Com
merce dinner in New York, said:
“There are hundreds of thousands of
people outside the great industrial com
munities who think the Chamber of Com
merce a den of thieves, who think that
the manufacturers of the country are no
better than a set of confidence men. ’ ’
Discussing this regrettable misunder
standing afterward, Mr. Root smiled and
said:
“It is a misunderstanding that will
come right in the end; but just now, if
a rich man ventured to say to a poor man
‘I believe in putting by something for
a rainy day,’ the poor man would sneer
bitterly and reply:
“ ‘Yes, that’s why me and my friends
lose so many umbrellas.’ ”
A HOPEFUL OUTLOOK.
Discussing the turkey prospects for the
holidays, H. Lynton Parker, one of Bal
timore’s leading shippers, said:
“The warm autumn has kept the birds
thin. It has put some men out of busi
ness. Turkey farming, you know, is no
cinch.
“I was commiserating the other day
with a Delawarean who had had very
bad luck with his turkeys.
“ ‘Well, how are you doing now?’ I
asked.
“ ‘Worse than ever with my turks,’ he
said, ‘but my hens have taken a turn
for the better. ’
“ ‘How so?’ I asked.
“‘Why,’ said he, ‘they’ve begun to
eat their own eggs now, and so it looks
to me as if they’d eventually become self-
supporting. ’ ’ ’
NOT A FIT COMPANION.
Robert was heard by his mother using
language of which she did not approve.
“Robert,” sho cried, “don’t you dare
use any more suek language. I ’in
ashamed of you. ’ ’
“Why, mother,” replied the bright
boy, “Kipling does.”
“He does? Then don’t you play with
him any more.”