Newspaper Page Text
17
November, 1916
THE ATLANTTAN
THANKSGIVING AT HOME i
By Walter G. Doty
I envy not who dine to-day
On divers “a la’s" garnished gay—
The formal folks who stiffly sit
In restaurants where waiters flit;
Where costly wines like water flow,
And orchestras incessant go,
Till one could wish that he was deaf—
Their tune should be “Hail to (he
Chef.”
I dine at home to-day, do I,
On turkey brown and pumpkin pie;
And there’s taste to everything
That chefs in vain attempt to bring.
A cook who’s yonug and slim and fair
Prepares with skill the viands rare.
A waitress also young and sweet
Smiles happily to see me eat.
And my companion at the feast
Is charming, too, to say the least.
Besides, I don’t mind telling you,
The menu holds a kiss or two.
Oh, yes, Thanksgiving sure is fun
With cook and maid and partner one—
The one who took the job for life
And is in short your own dear wife!
PURELY ANTISEPTIC
Aonng William's parents were thor
oughly modern, and consequently he
v.as carefully guarded against germs.
.The telephone was sprayed, the drink-
ling utensils sterilized, and public con
veyances and places were forbidden to
■the young hopeful.
William’s exclusive ideas caused the
mther children of the neighborhood to
shun him, and this excited in him, a
strong dislike for his parents’ antisep
tic ideas.
“Father,” said he one night, in a
tone of desperation, “do yon know
what I am going to do when I get
grown up?”
The father, who was prepared for the
worst, inquired;
“What?”
“I am going to eat a germ.”—Mil
waukee Free Press.
A USEFUL HABIT
“I don’t sec how you stand it,” said
Mrs. Youngbride to her older married
friend. “It would simply break my
heart to have my husband prop up the
newspaper at the breakfast table every
morning.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the other.
“You see, it keeps the grapefruit from
spattering as far as it might other
vase.”
BETTER BE SAFE THAN SORRY
All Work Guaranteed.
“The Burnett Way is hard to beat,
He’s at Seventy-One South Pryor Street,
You ’ll find him there early and late,
And both his phones are forty-eight. ”
We Cater to Prescriptions and
Sick Room Supplies
i
Peachtree and Auburn-
Ask Your Physician About
Our Drugs
NO FREE ADVERTISING
A violinist was bitterly disappointed
with the account of his recital in tha
paper of a small town.
“I told your man three or four
times,” complained the musician to the
owner of the paper, “that the instru
ment 1 used was a genuine Stradivn-
rins, and in his story there was not a
word about it, not a word.”
Whereupon the owner said with a
laugh:
“That is as it should be. When Mr.
Stradivarius gets bis fiddles advertised
:n my paper under ten cents a line, you
come around and let me know.”
CAT HYGIENE
Miss Sission, the precise maiden aunt,
was entertaining little Alice who had
come to spend the day with her.
“Oh, see the little pussy washing her
face!” was one of her pleasantries, cal
culated to amuse the youngster.
“She ain’t washing her face, she’s
washing her feet and wiping them on
her face,” answered Alice, with superior
wisdom.
Rector (going his rounds): Fine
pig that, Mr. Dibbles; uncommonly
fine!
Contemplative Villager: Ah, yes,
sir; if we was only all of us as fit to
die as him, sir!—Tit-Bits.
A DEEP LAID PLAN
“Would you mind letting me off fifteen
minutes early after this, sir?” asked
the bookkeeper. “You see. I’ve moved
into the suburbs and I can’t catch my
'train unless I leave at quarter before
five o’clock.”
“I suppose I’ll have to, “grumbled
the boss; “but you should have thought
of that before you moved.”
“I did,” confided the bookkeeper to
the stenographer a little later, “and
that’s the reason I moved.”
A PREVENTIVE THAT WORKED
“Why on earth do you keep borrow
ing Tooter’s trombone?” asked Mr.
Miggs’ neighbor. “You can’t play it."
“No, responded Mr. Miggs, fortun-
rtely for you I cannot. And while
Tve it he can’t play it either. Get me?”
SEEMED ONE SHORT TO SUSIE
“Children,” said the Sunday-school
superintendent, “this picture illustrates
today’s lesson: Lot was warned to take
his wife and daughters and flee out of
Sodom. Here are Lot and his daugh
ters, with his wife just behind them;
and there is Sodom in the back-ground.
Now, has any girl or boy a question be
fore we take up the study of the les
son? Well, Susie?”
“Pleathe, thir,” lisped the latest
graduate from the infant class, “where
ith the flea?”