Newspaper Page Text
November, 1918
THE ATLANTIAN
13
Only One Way To
Acquire a Competence
For most people there is but ONE way to acquire a
competence; that is the sure way of SAVING MONEY.
With one dollar you can open an account with our Savings
Department. Your money deposited here will earn more
money at the rate of 3J4 per cent interest, compounded
semi-annually. Persistent saving will give you the neces
sary start in business, or pay the first installment on a home,
or insure for you and your family comfort and independence
during old age. The following table shows how fast $5.00
a month deposited here will grow:
1 year $ €1.06 3 year* $189.71
2 year* 124.25 5 year* 327.60
Fulton National Bank
Atlanta, Ga.
WILLIAM J. BLALOCK, President
ARTHUR B. SIMMS, Vice President
BOLLING H. JONES, Vice President
HENRY B. KENNEDY, Cashier.
RYBURN G. CLAY, Assistant Cashier.
ITS USUAL NAME.
“What a narrow street that is!”
said the Visitor being shown about
the suburban itown (by a citizen.
“Yes, it’s narrow,’ replied the citiz
en.
“And in wretched condition. See
the holes in the pavement."
“Yes, it looks bad."
And dirty everywhere. What is
the name of that street?"
“That’s Grand .Street.”—Yonkers
Statesman.
BREATHE IT GENTLY.
Mrs. Binks—Tins paper tells of a
man who eats onions alone.
Mrs Jiinks (whose husband eats
•them)—(Well, anyone who lives on
onions ought to live alone.—(London
Tit-Bits.
NO STYLE.
“I’ve heard a good deal about this
lady novelist. Professor Highbrow
told me he admired her style.”
“Well?”.
“I saw her yesterday. She hasn't
any style. She looked like a frump.”
McAdoo “hasn’t felt so well since
he was a boy.” Good reason why!
Since that magic time, till now, he
hadn’t had the Choo-Choos to play
with.
HIS EXPLANATION.
Cynic—So your airship was wreck
ed in the blizzard. I though you con
sidered it perfect."
“The ship was perfect,” replied the
inventor stiffly. “The air was at fault."
—'Philadelphia Inquirer.
THE WRONG PREPAREDNESS.
‘What’s the matter with the first
violinist? He doesn’t seem to be able
to find the key.”
“You’d have a hard time finding
your key if you had been through as
many bars, a's he has this evening.”
—Jack-o’tLantern.
PITY THE POOR PUBLISHER.
By O. 'L.
Circulation is vexation,
Advertising is ais bad;
The Postage fee perplexes me,
And Paper makes ,me sad.
Illustration is damnation,
lUiterature’s as bad;
The Printer he expenses me—
My Staff will drive me mad 1
THE EXCEPTION.
“There’s always room at the top,”
philosophized the Sphinx. %
“Take a look at us and guess
again," retorted the Pyramids.—Or
ange IPeel.
ILLEGALLY CLEVER. STILL SIGNS OF LIFE.
“What a silly expression: ‘No more
sense than the law allows.” Did you
ever know a man wiho had more sense
than the law allowed?”
“Certainly 1 The jails are (hull of
fellows who got there by being too
smart.”—Boston Transcript.
QUERY.
Teacher—The ancient, Greeks were
handsome people.
Iohabod—Whaddye mean, ancient?
Teacher—Ancient means very old.
Ichalbod—'How old did they have to
be before they got good looking?—
Youngstown Telegram.
POOR MR. JOHN!
“Wihats leasure, pa?"
“Leasure, my son, is tihe two min
utes’ rest a man gets while his wife
is hunting up something else for him
to do.”—Boston Transcript.
UNLUCKY.
“I’m always unlucky.”
“What’s the matter now?”
“Thats the second time today I’ve
had my teeth loosened by being
slapped in the baok by some enthus
iastic stranger who thought I was
somebody he knew.”—Detroit Free
Press.
A Glenwood Avenue man, calling
at the house of a neighbor, inqulreu
of the matron who answere his sum
mons :
“Is Mr. Soandso in?”
“No,” replied Mrs Soandso, “he is
down at the lake glacier bathing
pool.”
“Taking a dip?" *
“No, he likes to watch the diving
girls.”
“I thought he was too bid and too
dignified to be interested in that sort
of thing.”
“When George doesn’t take any
interest in bathing girls,” said Mrs.
Soandso, “I am going to have him
buried, because then I know he is
certainly dead.”—Youngstown Tele
gram.
LITERAL OBEDIENCE.
A Portugese lad doing his first
guard was 'being instructed by the
corporal of his relief how to halt a
person approaching his post.
Corporal—Now when you see or
hear someone coming, holler HALT
three times and then fire. Got that?
The lad said he understood and was
then posted. A short time later the
corporal was aroused by hearing:
Halt three times! bang! bang!
Thanks for your
PAST PATRONAGE
We will thank you
for your
FUTURE BUSINESS
Coursey & Munn
Diuggists
No. 29 Marietta Stseet
ATLANTA, GEORGIA