Newspaper Page Text
14
THE AT LANTI AN
November, 1918
This Splendid
Hunting Boot
Made on the celebrated
Munson Army last—of
“Hardy-hide” calf, with full
bellowsed tongue, heavy' sole
and chrome slip-sole. Comfort
able and serviceable—
$10
“The Doughboy” is the ideal
hunting sole, and is in a class to
itself for any kind of outdoor ser
vice. Made of selected brown
leather and has double viscol-
ized soles.
Gives better satisfaction for
hard service than any shoe
ever made. Sold
here exclusively.
AS MUCH AS THEY WORRY HER.
“Your dress,” said the husband to
his fashionable wife, “will never
please the men.”
“I don’t dress ito please the men,”
Was 'the reply,■ ‘‘but to worry other
women.”
NO itiARDSHIP.
“How’s 'the jury of ladies?” asked
the judge. “Do they repine at being
locked up?”
“Not at all, yer Honor,” replied
the bailiff. “They got three bridge
tables going.”
ALL BUT THE SUGAR.
Hositess (before an afternoon tea)
—Yes, now everything is ready:
cakes, caviar, liquors, one poet, 'two
lecturers, one tenor, one author and
four newspapermen.
SEW IT SEAMS.
•Captain Hobson (angrily indicating
torn place in Private Hull’s blouse)
—Don't you know that a stitch in
time saves nine? What have you to
say in your defense?
Private Hull-^Sir, it’s never too late
to mend.
WHERE HE BELONGED.
An officer was filling out the Pers
onnel Card of a recruit from western
Minnesota. In .reply to the question,
“What branch of 'the service do you
prefer,” he got this answer. “I don’t
know much about the army, but my
father told me he thought I ought
to get in the Heavy Artillery; but I
don’t know whether I am heavy
enough or not, I only weigh aboult
ISO pounds." They placed him in
the Quartermaster Corps.
ALWAYS USES IT.
“Madam, did you put anything de
leterious in Ithis pie?”
“Certainly I did. I always use it in
my pies.”—'Baltimore American.
AMIABLE AMPTITUDE.
Jack Spratt, he likes them fat,
The beauties on the screen,
They sort of rest his eyes, he says,
For Mrs. Spratt is lean.
GENIUS.
“What makes you think Pirn has
got executive ability?"
“Because none of his creditors can
collect from him.”
BEEN THERE.
Traveler—You cannot tell how
terrible an experience it is to be lost
in the desert.
Joneson—Oh, yes, I am. I used to
live in a dry town.
SIXTEEN (COUNT ’EM) SIXTEEN.
Sixteen ships from Yankee land—
f hear the Kaiser swear!
Think that clown will send us down?
Piffle I We should care!
On our way to ‘close the show”; men
on every boat,
From east and west, will do their
best to get the Kaiser’s goat.
Let him sing his hymn of hate—it’s
. been sung before;
Let his subs sink all these tubs; we
have plenty more,
Waiting for the word to sail, champ
ing ait the bit,
Quite a job. to stop this moib. Let
him tackle it!
tan 'the Kaiser’s hide.
Count ’em: Sixteen loaded ships on
the Kaiser’s track. .
Here’s a hunch: Just watch this
bunch, sixteen coming back!
OF LOW DEGREE.
“That old judge is a Doctor of
Law.”
“And he didn't go to college to
get his degree.”
“Why nolt?”
“Well, he’s been doctoring laws ever
since he got into office.”—Jack-o’-
Lantern.
HAPPY, BUT INARTISTIC, j
There was a young lady, and she
When dancing was filled with great
glee,
But she couldn’t keep sltep,
And she ruined my rep—
For she always kept stepping on line.
—‘Punch Bowl.
Sixteen ships from Yankee land— A PROPER STUDY.
■hear the Kaiser whine! “Shall we send our son to a co-
On we come to chas,e thait bum clear educational college?”
across the Rhine. “I’m in favor of it. It won’t hurt
Are we stopped by frightfulness? him to learn some thing about wO-
Are we weak or faint? men along with his other education.”
Are we worried, scared, or flurried?
I should say we ain’t. The Flapper—Oh, yes! We gave
This is what we waited for, worked up the house-boat this summer. You
at, prayed and cried— know it isn’t safe with all those Ger-
Just a chance to sail to France and man submarines about.
The First Express Train *
Between
ATLANTA
and
WASHINGTON
BRING FLOWERS
Fresh and New
FOR
Lawrence
The Florist
138 Peachtree St. Atlanta, Ga.