Newspaper Page Text
15
November, 1920
THE ATLANTIAN
Limelight Lyric*.
“The Bat.”
Miss Cornelia Van Gorder
Had the true detective sense;
There was nothing could afford her
Satisfaction so intense,
Nothing made her feel so cheerful,
Or so quickly cured the blues,
As a crime, mysterious, fearful,
Totally devoid of clues.
One dark evening Miss Van Gorder
Finds her country house the scene
Of strange noises and disorder,
And she wonders what'they mean.
Housemaid Lizzie screams for “Hell-
up r
A pistol barks and some one’s shot;
From that moment things develop
Like a motion picture plot.
The murderer escapes and baffles
All pursuers, leaves them flat;
’Tis the famed Long Island Raffles,
Known and dreaded as “the Bat.”
Mass Van Gorder now gets busy,
Searches every room and floor,
While the shrieks of housemaid Lizzie
Almost drown the thunder’s roar.
As the thrilling scene’s enacted
You can scarcely bear the strain,
And you watch with brow contracted,
Every shadow on the pane,
Till the quiver of a curtain
Sets you thinking of your past,
And each moment you are certain
Will be Miss Van Gorder’s last.
If you think that she was frightened,
That is where you lose your bet.
Though it thunderstormed and light
ened,
She was not a bit upset;
She was cool as a cucumber,
Not the least afraid to die;
She would get that burglar’s number
Or she’d know the reason why.
I won’t tell you how she got it—
That’s the playwright’s job, not
mine;
And if you should ask me what it
Is, again I must decline.
Messrs. Wagenhals and Kemper
Want you to enjoy the play—
They’d be tin an awful temper
If I gave “The” away!
—Oliver Herford.
Chairman of Public Banquet: Gen
tlemen, before I introduce the next
speaker, there will be a short recess,
giving you all a chance to go out and
stretch your legs.
Guest: Who is the next speaker?
Chairman: Before telling you who
he is, I would rather wait until you
come back.
Callendar Drug Co.
fx .
Peachtree and Tenth Streets
ATLANTA, GA.
Cigars, Cigarettes, Tobacco
Periodicals, Soda Water
CALLENDAR DRUG CO.
PRESCRIPTION DRUGGISTS
Hemlock 98 Hemlock 99
m
Hi
ARCADE
CAFE
A high-class place for
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Something good to eat at all hours.
Our Service is the “BEST.”
Near Five Points.
Peachtree Street
Near Corner Walton
■
LET "DAD DO IT”
192 Courtland St.
Commercially Speaking.
Japanese advertisers believe in a
lavish use of similes.
“Step inside I” is the invocation of
a big multiple shop in Tokio. “You
will be welcomed as fondly as a ray
of sunshine after a rainy day. Each
one of our assistants is as amiable
as a father seeking a husband for a
dowerless daughter. Goods are dis
patched to customers’ houses with the
rapidity of a shot from the cannon’s
mouth.”
A grocer proclaims that his “super
fine vinegar is more acid than the
tongue of the most fiendish mother-
in-law.”—Edinburgh Scotsman.
The New Republics.
When the newspapers recently an
nounced that a diplomatic represen
tative from the Latvain Republic had
been detained at Ellis Island, a great
number of our citizens learned for the
first time that there is such a place
on the face of the earth as Latvia.
Which goes to show that the many
small nations which have come into
being since the war don’t need diplo
matic representatives in the United
States so much as press agents.
Examination Paper for Presidential
Candidates.
Mention off-hand twenty or thirty
statesmen who are better fitted for
the presidency than yourself.
Wherein do you differ from truly
great men of the past, e. g., McKin
ley, Jefferson?
What is the basic difference be
tween running a small town newspa
per and running a democracy?
If elected, would you conduct the
nation’s business at the Capitol or
from your front porch?
What purpose is served In a presi
dential campaign by delivering, in
stead of an informative speech, a
heart-to-heart homily?
Define “complete change in foreign
policy.”
If somebody turned up of whom
you had never heard before, would
you, or would you not, hire him to
run your newspaper for you?
Conscience.
Wilson and Wilton were discussing
the moralities when the first put this
question: “Well, what is conscience,
anyhow?”
"Conscience,” said Wilton, who
pride himself upon being a bit of a
pessimist, “is the thing we always be
lieve should bother the other fellow.”
—Toledo Blade.