Newspaper Page Text
12
THE A TL ANTI AN
November, 1921
It is for your convenience that—*
The Wise Drug Co.
is located in the heart of the Amusement Five Points.
DRUGS, PRESCRIPTIONS, TOILET PREPARATIONS,
RUBBER GOODS
SODA, CANDIES, MAGAZINES, STATIONERY
Make our store your meeting place—so convenient to the
Howard, Grand and Lyric.
The Wise Drug Co.
Howard Theatre Building.
Telephone Ivy 3041
FER EVERYBODY CONCERNED.
By G. B. SJye.
Ther Father uv his Country,
In former days gone by,
Spoke-thus ter little Sammie,
Who nuver winked un eye:
“Keep out uv all untanglements!
My son, I’m talkin’ sense;
Ef they’s fightin’ in yo’ alley,
Set on yer neighbor’s fence I”
Now Sammie’s growed enormous—
Tremenjously he’s growed—
Bigger’n all the nations
His father ever knowed.
Great hags of gold are his’n—
They’s big as all outdoors—
An’ William J. is fixin’
Ter clarify his nose.
Yer all know Comeback Bryan,
Ole Sam’l’s viz-a-vee,
An ’pears them Fraid Cats’ plottin’
Ter scrap that filigree;
Cats on ther house-tops nuthin'!
They’s neither here nur there;
With catnip in yo’ pocket,
Yo’ meet ’em on the square..
Put on yo’ hat, Old Glory!
Here’s slackers payin’ toll!
Ther fake that slurred his country
Slept in a doodle-hole.
“Almost nubuddy never kin tell
Ther nacher uv the kymul
That’s in the peanut shell.”
CAMPHODINE—for Colds
Manufactured by R. G. Dunwody
NATIVE BORN.
“He hit me on de koko, yer honor.”
“Your head?”
“Yes, yer honor."
“Why don’t you speak the English
language?”
“I do, yer honor. I never wuz out
of dis country in me life.”
—Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Superfious Woman.
“And how do you like your new
mamma?” was asked the small boy
whose father had married again.
“She's not bad,” he replied guard
edly, “but—er—she makes a beastly
difference in my pocket-money."
—Town Topics (London).
OVERLOOKING NOTHING.
Flora: Molly Manchaser is doing
everything to snare the new rector.
Fauna: Everything she can think
of. She’s even taken to wearing stain
ed-glass spectacles.—Detroit News.
“So the cook you had inherited a
fortune. I suppose she’s happy?”
“No; she says she feels all dressed
up and no place to leave.”
—Boston Transcript.
NO CHOICE.
“Which do you like best—Saratoga
or Atlantic City?”
“Neither. One is all Pantiles and
Gentiles, and the other all Yids and
kids.”
BLUFF KING HAL.
A boy in a Welsh school essayed to
write on Henry VIII, and a London
paper reports him as beginning thus:
“King Henry VIII was the greatest
widower that ever lived. He was born
at Anno Domino in the year 1066. He
had 610 wives besides children. The
first was beheaded and executed. The
second was revoked. She never smil
ed again. Henry 8 was succeeded on
the throne by Mary Queen of Scots,
sometimes known as the Lady of the
Lake.”—Boston Transcript.
A WORD TO THE WISE.
A young psychologist stepped up
to the Salvation Army man who was
playing a hurdy-gurdy and said:
“Look here. You notice that people
passing by tend to keep in step with
the music. Now, if you’ll change that
quick time tune of yours to a slow
march I’ll guarantee you to get more
people stopping here and' contributing
to your collection.” That said, the
psychologist confidently continued on
his way.—New York Evening Post.
She Was Going Out, Perhaps.
Flatbush: I saw Miss Fussanfeath-
er yesterday stop at a dry goods store
in her automobile and I helped her
to alight.
Benaonhurst: You did ? Why, I had
no idea ahe smoked'!—Yonkers States
HER BATTING AVERAGE.
“It is computed that the average
man speaks in the course of a year
11,000,000 words.”
“And how many words does he lis
ten to from the‘average woman?”
—Louisville Courier-Journal.
GAME ALWAYS.
Preacher (solemnly): Rastus, do yo’
take dis here woman for better or for
worse?
Rastus (from force of habit): Pah-
son, Ah shoots it all!—Wayside Tales.
Business Relations.
“I wish you would send someone
else to talk with this man about this
deal,” said the head salesman to the
president.
“What’s the idea? This is an im
portant matter and you are supposed
to take care of it.”
“I know, but it will be terribly em
barrassing to both of us. You see
this man is the former husband of
my present wife.”
—Detroit Free Press.
Two Ways of Starving to Death.
“We can save money by not ad
vertising.”
“Yes,” replied the advertising man,
“and - you can also save money by
not eating.”—Detroit Free Press.
Arcade
Cafe
A high-class place for
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Something good to eat at all hours.
Our Service is the “BEST.”
Near Five Points.
Peachtree Street
Near Corner Walton.
man.
LET “DAD DO IT”
207 Whitehall St.