Newspaper Page Text
6
THE ATLANTIAN
WISE CHARLIE.
A prominent senator had a very intel
ligent Chinese servant, named Charlie.
One of Charlie’s relatives died and he
asked permission to attend the funeral.
“Certainly,” said the senator, then he
added:
“I suppose you will put some food in
the grave, as the Chinese do?”
“Yes, sir,” replied Charlie, solemnly.
“When do you expect your friend will
eat the food you put in his grave,
Charlie?”
“At the same time, sir, that your
friend whom you buried a few days ago
will smell of the flowers that you put on
his grave, ’ ’ replied Charlie, respect
fully.
A PUZZLING QUESTION.
The late Sylvanus Miller, civil engi
neer, who was engaged in railroad en
terprises in Central America, was very
fond of relating incidents that had oc
curred while ho was in that country.
Ono day ho asked a native:
“How long docs it take you to carry
your goods to market by mule-back?”
“Three days,” replied the man.
“Well,” said Miller, “then you can
understand what a groat amount of good
our road will do for you. With that in
operation you could take your goods to
market and bo back at homo in one
day. ’ ’
“Yes, very good, senor,” said the na
tive, “but what would wo do with the
other two days?”
A CLEVER TRICK.
A traveling mnn entered tho dining
room of a leading hotel in Buffalo on
Monday, and as the waiter was serving
him ho drew a two-dollar bill from his
pocket, and showing it to him said:
“Bill, I shall remain here until Thurs
day night, and then this will bo yours. ’ ’
“Thank you, sir; I’ll take tho best of
care of you, sure, sir,” replied the
waiter.
And ho did cater to tho traveler and
servo him excellently. It so happened
that on Thursday morning tho traveler
was hastily summoned to Chicago, and it
was weeks before ho returned to the
Buffalo, hotel. Shortly, his former
waiter, whom ho had forgotten nlong with
tho incident, came up to him and said:
“Say, boss, pleaso play that two-dollar
trick on your now waiter, for I’se got
a spcc’al grudgo ’gainst him; lie’s do
meanes ’ man what’s in do whole house. ’ ’
THE ULTRA RICH.
Mrs. Richloy had recently purchased a
suburban estate, and was entertaining a
poor relation, who remarked:
“What splendid fowls! Do they lay
well?”
“Oh, they can lay beautifully,” re
marked tho hostess, “but of course, in
our position they don’t have to.”
CALL THE LAWYER.
“Are ye much burted, Tim?” inquired
a friend. “Do ye want a docthcr?”
“A docther, yo know nothin’. After
bein’ runned over bo a tlirollcy car?
Phwat Oi want is a lawyer. ’ ’
Great Meeting of Shriners
Early in May there will be held at Dallas, Texas,
the Imperial Council of all the Shriners in the United
States. Atlanta rejoices in a branch of this organization
known as Yaarab Temple which, with its 2,100 members,
is the greatest temple in the South of this unique and
splendid society. As a social and fraternal society the
Shrine is not surpassed by any other in the world, even
though others may count a larger membership.
Everything that the Shriners undertake to do is
done with a thoroughness and a finish rarely equaled.
On May 9th, with Capt. J. 0. Seamans in command,
500 members of Yaarab Temple, in their special train,
will pull out for the Dallas meeting.
All the principal cities of the country wifi be repre
sented at this meeting, but not one of them will be able
to make a finer showing than Atlanta, and though the
Shriners are going on their own business, and not as an
advertisement of Atlanta, it cannot be doubted that this
brilliant battalion will .impress the visitors from other sec
tions that Atlanta is one of the big cities of our country,
and that when it comes to a show-down we do not propose
to take a back seat for anybody.
The good wishes of The Atlantian will follow the
Shriners. May they have a pleasant excursion, a profita
ble meeting and return home determined to better their
past good record.
Carlos H. Mason
Mr. Carlos Mason has again been elected as chairman
of the police board. This is a deserved compliment for
conscientious service, for whether one grees or not with
Mr. Mason in all his views it must be admitted that his
service as chairman of the board has been marked by fair
ness, good temper, patience and industry. It is a vexa
tious position in many respects, and the incumbent must
often come in for criticism, but Mr. Mason has not allow
ed himself to be swerved from what has seemed to him the
iust course by either friend or foe, and his re-election as
head of the board is ample justification of his past official
acts. --’•Y'l*
R. O. Cochran
A new member of the General Assembly, Mr. R. 0.
Cochran, will carry into that body a thorough mental
equipment, a soundness of judgment and a strength of
conviction, that will be surpassed by no member of that
body.
Mr. Cochran, a young man as years count, has in
the last ten years made a brilliant business success, build
ing one of the larger real estate businesses of the city.
This he did by reason of his remarkable concentration on
whatever business might be for the moment under con
sideration.
When Mr. Cochran became a candidate for the Gen
eral Assembly he made one of the most quiet campaigns
ever known here, but he put into the same qualities of
concentration and thoroughness which he carries into
other matters and was easily one of the victors. One
thing especially makes Mr..Cochran a valuable acquisition
to the legislative body, he is essentially a man of his own
mind, who after giving a matter thorough and impartial
examination comes to a conclusion from which he can be
moved only by new evidence.
SPECIALIZATION.
Mrs. Sutton advertised for a woman
to do general housework, and in answer
a colored girl called, announcing that
she had come for the position.
“Are you a good cook?” asked Mrs.
Sutton.
“No, indeed, I don’t cook,” was the
reply.
“Are you a good laundress?”
“I wouldn’t do washin’ and ironin’;
it's too hard on tho hands.
“Can you sweep?” asked Mrs. Sut
ton.
“No,” was the positive answer. “I’m
not strong enough. ’ ’
“Well,” said the lady of the house,
quite exasperated, “may I ask what you
can do?”
‘ ‘ I dusts, ’ ’ came tho placid reply.—
Everybody's Magazine.
IMPERTINENT QUESTION.
A countryman, on his first visit to the
city, registered at one of the hotels. He
did not ask regarding the plan of the
hotel or explain how ho proposed to be
come a guest.
“European or American?” asked the
clerk.
The man looked very much surprised.
“Why, American, of course,” he re
plied, emphatically. ‘ ‘ Born and raised in
the country about fifty miles south of
here. I don’t look like no foreigner,
do I?”
A. BAD FINANCIER.
Two Hebrews, meeting one day, were
(discussing local news.
“You know .Take Steiner, vot vas sick
las’ week?”
“Ya, sure I do.”
“Veil, he has had his appendix taken
'avay from him.”
“Veil, dot vas too bad. But it serves
him a’right; ho should ’av ’ad it in his
wife’s name.”
AT POKER.
If you draw to a flush and fail to
fill, do not continue the conflict. If you
hold a pair of trays, and your opponent
is blind, and it costs you fifty to sec
him, let him remain unperceived.
If you hold nothing but ono ace high,
and by some means you know that the
other man holds the rest of tho aces, and
ho calls, exeuso yourself. Let him call
again another time.
IMAGE OF GEORGE.
In Paducah, Kentucky, a statue of the
Indian chief, Paduke, after whom tho
city was named, was being unveiled, when
two negroes were heard talking.
‘ ‘ It sho do look lak him, ’ ’ declared
one.
‘ ‘ Look Ink who ? ’ ’ asked the other.
‘ ‘ Gawge Washington, of co ’se. ’ ’
The city editor looked over tho manu
script the caller had handed him.
“If I run this item, madam,’’ he
said, “T shall have to use the blue pencil
on about nine-tenths of it. ’ ’
‘ ‘ Oh, that’s too much trouble! ’ ’ she
exclaimed. “Let mo have it again, and
I ’ll write it all with a blue pencil. ’ ’