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March 3, 1909. T Story Corner "Father, Miss West gave ut each a sentence to correct, and mine was, 'I went to the tonsorial parlors to get a hair cut."' "And how did you correct it?" asked the father. "Why, I corrected it the only way you could correct it. of course: and Miss West lautrhed when sheread It, and then she read It aloud, and every one in the class shouted. They didn't know it was my sentence, but 1 did." "But what did you write?" "Why, father!! What would anyone write? I wrote, 'I went to the tonsorial parlors to get my tonsils cut,' of course!"? Youth's Companion. A member of the State legislature was making a speech on some momentous question, and, in concluding, said: "In the words of Daniel Webster, who wrote the dictionary, 'Give me liberty or give me death!' " One of his colleagues pulled at his coat, and whispered, "Daniel Webster did not write the dictionary: it was Noah." "Noah nothing," replied the speaker: "Noah built the ark."? Buffalo News. Clara's auntie took her for a visit to Niagara Falls. After viewing the great waterfall for some time, and the little girl falling to make any remarks, auntie tried to draw some expression from her as to what she thought of the spectacle. Finally she said,? "Clara, don't you think the falls are beautiful, wonderful?" and was amazed at the child's nonchalant reply,? "O, yes. I s'pose so; but I fink our creek at home could do it if It had a place." ' It was raining outside, and little Irma was interrogative. Father was busily writing at his desk. "I say, pa, what"? "Ask your mother!" "Honest, pa, this Isn't a silly, one this time." "All right, this once. What is it?" "Weil, If the end of the world was to come, and the earth was destroyed while a man was up in an airship, where would he land when he came down?" The new minister in a Georgia church was delivering his first sermon. The darky janittor was a critical listener from a back corner of the church. The minister's sermon was eloquent, and his prayers seemed to cover the whole category of human wants. After the services one of the deacons asked the old darky what he thought of the new minister. "Don't you think he offers up a good prayer, Joe?" "Ah mos' suhtainly does, boss. Why, dat man axed de good Lord fo' things dat de odder preacher didn't even know He had!"?Everybody's Magazine. Said a poet to an unfortunate speculator: "Don't you think that the opening lines of Tennyson's little poem, 'Break, Break, Break,' are plaintive and sad?" "Yes," was the melancholy reply. "But I think that 'Broke, broke, broke,' is a good deal sadder." L HE PRESBYTERIAN OF THE SOI I Your Cotton Cro It costs no more to cu two bales of cotton than one-quarter of a bale. "V wun Virginia Fert Other men have been abl their yield per acre with a libei Fertilizers. Messrs. Lucas & Jackson < ginia-Carolina Fertilizer on aboi say: "We have the finest crop people around here think the sa on one stalk. Another stalk h sciuares and blossoms. On aboi 2 bales to the acre, and ar. ?stir tilized and under other cultur. five acres." An interesting picture of th found in the new 1909 Virginia-( of which may be had from yoi free, if you write our nearest si Virginia-Carol Sales Offices Richmond, Va. Norfolk, Va. Columbia. S. C. VlrQlfill Atlanta. G a. HgTT Savannah, Ga. Memphis, Tenn. HUHBh % Is the best "accident in M in the world. * H It relieves Cuts, Bruises, H Tired and Blistered Bk? St immediately upon a] cation. You will be d lighted with one test! At all Druggists. 23 and 30 Cents BETHANY HOB 1643 N. Claiborne Av New Has large, airy rooms. Operating ro< and Instruments. Under Presbyterian i Influences. Offering every convenience a Phone Hemlock 421. Chenet lnstiti 3507 MAGAZINE STRE New Orleans Louis: 4 * * 4 JTH. p Can Be Increased iltivate an acre that produces an acre which produces only Vhy not see what you can do i-Carolina ilizers s to double and more than double :al application of Virginia-Carolina of Kelscy County, Tenn., used Virut 55 acres planted with cotton, and of cotton we ever saw, and all the me. We actually counted 447 bolls lad by actual count 409 bolls, forms, it 8 acres we expect to make about nate of adjoining farms not so fermethods, will yield only 1 bale to e cotton plants referred to will bo Carolina Farmers' Year Book, copy iir fertilizer dealer, or will be sent lies office. " ina Chemical Co. Sales Offices Durham, N. C. aCaroilnjJ Baltimore, Md. emfoOlJflHfl Columbus, Ga. Montgomery, Ala. Shreveport, La. IE SANITARIUM, enue. Cor. Allen Street, Orleans, Dm furnished with all the modern appliances management and surrounded with religious ind excellent nursing, for terms apply to FERDINAND KOELLE, Secretary. M - Sound Practical Education to |I?T Young Men. Prepares for Universities and iET Professional Schools. . Thorough Bookkeeping and Short* I an a hand Courses at Moderate Rates.